R(a) joke...
-
> >An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small
> >tavern, the husband leans over and asks his wife. Do you remember the
>first
> >time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern
> >where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you. "Yes" she
>says,
> >"I remember it well" "Ok"he says, "How about taking a stroll a round
>there
> >again and we can do it for old times sake" "Oooooooh Henry, you Devil,
>that
> >sounds like a good idea." she answers. There's a police officer sitting
>in
> >the next booth listening to all this and having a chuckle to himself. He
> >thinks, "I've got to see this! Two old-timers having sex against a fence,
> >I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
> >They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by
> >walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their
> >way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down
>and
> >the old man drops his trousers, she turns around and as she hangs on to
>the
> >fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious
>sex
> >that the watching policeman has ever seen! They are bucking and jumping
> >like eighteen-year olds. this goes on for about forty minutes. She's
>yelling
> >"Ohhhh, God" he's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most
> >athletic sex imaginable. Finally, the both collapse panting on the
>ground.
> >The policeman is amazed, He thinks he has leaned something about life
>that
> >he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground
>recovering,
> >the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The
> >policeman, still watching thinks, "That was truly amazing, he was going
>like
> >a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is." As the couple pass, he
> >says to them, "That was something else, you must have been having sex for
> >about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic
> >life together, Is there some sort of secret? " No, there's no secret "
>the
> >old man says, "But fifty years ago that damn fence wasn't electric." -
-
hahahha
-
-
whhahaha
Givache 
-
Anyone got anymore good dirty jokes to share...?
" -
-_^ ^_-
-______-'!|~~~ -
A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and his elbow pokes her
in the breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and noticing that she is quite attractive, says with a wink, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She looks him up and down noticing that he is well endowed and replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
****************************************************************************
Two ladies were sitting at the bus stop smoking cigarettes one day when it started to rain. The younger one pulled out a condom, cut the tip of it off, put it over the cigarette and continued smoking her Camel, without the rain bothering her.
The older old lady was amazed and said "Wow, that's a great idea. What is that thing?" "It's a condom". Replied the younger one.
"Wow- where can I get one of those?" "Oh, you can get them at any drug store or grocery store." Replied the young one.
So the next day, the old woman went into a drug store. "Hi," she told the clerk. "I would like some condoms please." The clerk was surprised at such an old lady wanting to buy condoms, But tried to act cool and asked: "UHmmm, what size?" And the old lady did not hesitate "Oh, one that would fit a Camel, please!!"
****************************************************************************
It's shower time!!! Two priests are off to the showers late one night.
They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not
bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back to the showers.
He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide he freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his dick. Startled, he dropped a bar of soap. "Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "a soap dispenser." To test her theory she also pulls his dick... and sure enough he drops the last bar of soap.
The third nun then pulls, once, then twice and three times.
Still nothing happens. So she tries more times and to her delight she yells..... "Look, hand cream!" -
Originally posted by windjammer:It's shower time!!! Two priests are off to the showers late one night.
They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not
bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back to the showers.
He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide he freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his dick. Startled, he dropped a bar of soap. "Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "a soap dispenser." To test her theory she also pulls his dick... and sure enough he drops the last bar of soap.
The third nun then pulls, once, then twice and three times.
Still nothing happens. So she tries more times and to her delight she yells..... "Look, hand cream!" I like this one... -
-
hahaha...handcream sial.....
send summore leh....power siol.... -
AIRLINES JOKES
LUFTHANSA
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean"
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane".
After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made annnoucement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean.All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of the plane... THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA- "
BRITISH AIRWAYS
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow
life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
PHILIPPINE AIRLINES
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mabuhay!, this is your Captain Biglang-awa speaking, We are now over the Philippine trench where you can find the deepest part of the Pacific ocean. Here you can also find almost all the ferocious creatures in the sea, there's the killer sharks, barracudas and many others. And now for >the finale, please, stay calm and don't panic for both our engines are dead
and we are now going down into that ocean.
Please wear your life vest. We are going to crashland this plane into the water. In the meantime, I like you to follow everything I'm going to say, repeat after me:
"Our Father Who is in heaven... -
2 prostitutes (bitches) were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Bitch 1: I smell sperm!!
Bitch 2: Sorry, I burped!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love.
She said, "Aww, so solly... exkooz me pleazo, Flont hole so happy, back
hole laugh out loud".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Why is the "69" position is also called the "smokers
position?"
Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the
ashtray.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Why sperm donation is more expensive rather than blood
donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
An old man married a young girl. On wedding night he showed five fingers to his wife.
Young girl: Ooh.. darling! 5 times?
Old man: No dear, choose which one you prefer to start.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man 1: My wife is obsessed with cars. while asleep, she holds my bird & say "1st gear, 2nd gear".
Man 2: My wife is worst, she puts my bird inside her and say "Full Tank pls".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer: It's Virgina because it can only accomodate 1 standing occupant and left 2 baggages outside!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got out of
hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to go doggy > style!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank.
The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake".
"Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been ... raped".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra.
Chemist said that it would be useless. Man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you comment on this?" "The truth is that she has a big mouth!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is common between a swimming pool and a wife - for both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you better
have a good hand.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between biology and sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom, the it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the useless piece of flesh attached to the penis called - The
Man.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" had never seen a pussy before.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing
and comes in attractive containers.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why was two-piece bikini invented?
To separate meat section from the dairy section.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb".
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month!" -
A waitress walks up to the table of three Japanese men at a New York City restaurant. When she gets to the table, the waitress notices that the three men are furiously masturbating!
She asks, What the hell are you perverts doing?", to which one of the men replies, "We all berry hungry!" She responds, "But why are you whacking off?"
One of the three says, "Because menu say 'first come, first served'!"
************************************************************
Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said:
"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single, let it go..." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Dave, you're a vet..."
************************************************************
Two men were exploring some jungle in Africa when they were caught by an unknown tribe. The tribe tied the captured men to a pole and after some hoo-ha, the tribal chief stepped forward and asked the first man, "Death or Wu-ga-wu-ga?" The first man didn't want to die, so he said, "Wu-ga-wu-ga." Upon his reply, the whole tribe cheered happily and immediately formed a queue behind the first man and took their turns to ****(assault) him.
By the time the 200th man of the tribe had finished his turn, the captured man was completely exhausted and half-dead.
The tribal chief then walked up to the second man and asked the same question, "Death or Wu-ga-wu-ga?" The second man, having witnessed the ordeal of the first man, did not want to go through the same experience. So, he bravely said, "Death." "Ok", said the tribal chief, "Death by Wu-ga-wu-ga."
************************************************************
During a routine checkup, a doctor told his patient that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realised his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottem of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Then came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes while you're down there, you truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
*******************************************************
enjoy it over the weekend -
~WAHAhahahaha....Originally posted by windjammer:AIRLINES JOKES
LUFTHANSA
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean"
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane".
After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made annnoucement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean.All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of the plane... THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA- "
BRITISH AIRWAYS
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow
life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
PHILIPPINE AIRLINES
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mabuhay!, this is your Captain Biglang-awa speaking, We are now over the Philippine trench where you can find the deepest part of the Pacific ocean. Here you can also find almost all the ferocious creatures in the sea, there's the killer sharks, barracudas and many others. And now for >the finale, please, stay calm and don't panic for both our engines are dead
and we are now going down into that ocean.
Please wear your life vest. We are going to crashland this plane into the water. In the meantime, I like you to follow everything I'm going to say, repeat after me:
"Our Father Who is in heaven... -
cant help myself from laughing ...
Good job here guys ... -
Originally posted by windjammer:2 prostitutes (bitches) were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Bitch 1: I smell sperm!!
Bitch 2: Sorry, I burped!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb".
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used to have every month!" -
-
MONDAY
A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an aeroplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the 'plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the 'plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the 'plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the 'plane or he'd kick my arse."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the 'plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 17 stone. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zip and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your arse.' "
"So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."
*************************************************************************************
David Beckham is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a 'tragedy'. One little boy stands up and offers "that if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street and a car came along and killed him that would be a tragedy." "No", Beckham says "that would be an accident." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved..... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not." explains Beckham. "That is what we would call a great loss."
The room is silent, none of the children volunteer. "What?" asks Beckham. "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says "If an aeroplane carrying David Beckham was blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy." "Wonderful," Beckham beams. "Marvellous, and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy "because it wouldn't be an accident and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss."
*************************************************************************************
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
"Yeah, my wife..."
*************************************************************************************
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. "Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy." The nurse says, "He's happy now - But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his arse."
*************************************************************************************
A Celtic fan is walking home from a match in his Celtic kit. He fancies a drink, walks into a bar and found himself surrounded by blue and white. He's walked into a Rangers' bar. A deadly silence falls over the pub. Then the barman clears his throat and says, "In here, we give Celtic fans a toll of the dice. "If you roll one to five, we kill you."
The Celtic fan replies,"What happens if I roll a six?"
"You get to roll again."
*************************************************************************************
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Becky," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh. don't talk."
He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I.......I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping
Becky........"Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I.....I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your Mother!"
"I know..." Becky whispered softly, "That's why I poisoned you."
ENJOY... -
how osama was born...
-
Originally posted by windjammer:
~WAHAHAhahaha....
[b]MONDAY
A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an aeroplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the 'plane, and the Sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the 'plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet. Then the Sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the 'plane. I told the Sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told be to get off the 'plane or he'd kick my arse."
"So, did you jump?"
"Not then. He tried to push me out of the 'plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 17 stone. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?' I said, 'No, Sir. I'm too scared.' So the Jump Master pulled down his zip and took his penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long! He said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door, or I'm sticking this up your arse.' "
"So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, a little, at first."
[/b] " -
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. As the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and as amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch. -
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
"Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good", and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"
But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the
rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good", and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!!"
The teacher fainted. -
TUESDAY
Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes offand throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Sir, I am only following the instructions he says, "it says here,'Answer the following questions in brief'."
*****************************************
The doctor told Mr Singh that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would lose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Mr Singh called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms from home."
*******************************************************
Mr Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.
On seeing this in his application form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE.
Mr Singh thought for a long time before coming up with the answer............ PREFERABLY FEMALES.
*******************************************************
Mr Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After,much thought he wrote : YES
*******************************************************
Kudip Singh and Ranjit Singh were always boasting of their parents
achievements to each other. Kudip Singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Ranjit Singh : 'Yes, I have' Kudip Singh : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Ranjit Singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of the Dead Sea? Kudip Singh : 'Yes, I have.'
Ranjit Singh : 'Well, my father killed it.'
=====================================================
Kudip Singh and Ranjit Singh were sitting on a tree and Kudip Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs, Kudip Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again.
Ranjit Singh asked: "Kudip Singh, What is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down?"
Kudip Singh :" I am singing the side B."
=====================================================
1. Employer to applicant: In this job we need someone who is
responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything
went wrong, they said I was responsible.
2. Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of
work? I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months.
3. Judge to defendant: Aren't you ashamed, coming here
for the third time?
Defendant: Well, you come every day.
4. Why did the man wear a wet shirt?
Because the shirt's label said: Wash and wear.
5. Q: Which city is trying to get rid of its mad people?
A: Madrid..... MAD.. RID (got it!!)
6. A teacher was testing the young student's intelligence. When is
your birthday dear? asked the teacher to his six-year old.
22nd February, said the child. What year my dear? Asked the
teacher.
Every year, said the child with a smile.
7. Sunny: My mom took me to the cemetery last Sunday.
Sonia: Oh! anyone dead?
Sunny: Yes All of them
8. Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Opportunity.
Can't be. Why Not?
Opportunity knocks only once.
9. Q: What is the best place to go to when you are
dying?
A: The living room.
10. Q: When can 60 people stand under an umbrella without getting wet?
A: When it isn't raining.
11. Raju: How many sides does a circle have?
Ravi: A circle does not have any side.
Raju: Yes, it does, the inside and the outside.
2. Q: Why are doctors and lawyers never perfect?
A: Because they are always practising. -