Pls Help...
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/sayngOriginally posted by shan_cai:
wat happend? -
Originally posted by skeujin:sori i mean dong misi guy a few posts above....
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Juz wonderin y izit always so painful 2 stay in a relationship... Esp when i love him so much n he doesnt cherish...
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i belive tt in most relationships the 2 parties r seperated into 'e 1 who loves' n 'e 1 who is loved'.Originally posted by shan_cai:Juz wonderin y izit always so painful 2 stay in a relationship... Esp when i love him so much n he doesnt cherish...
in this case u r the former n yr bf is e latter.
'e 1 who loves' is e 1 who puts in more effort into e relationship and basically more emotional.
'e 1 whois loved' is e 1 who sits back n enjoys e ride. though contributions to the relationship r evident, thy r usually far in between and consant prodding is required for action. -
Originally posted by shan_cai:
a scarred r/s will oways be scarred and its nvr the same again... and now since u had witnessed for urself how much he disregard ur feelings why be bothered to care for how he feels right? we haf to learn to be selfish at times esp gals who are more vulnerable at many times. i wun give much consolation like others will give u like give him time, tok to him, and blah blah blah... but den i can only give u help by giving some pointers.
Hi all... Itz mi again. I've got a prob again... But dare not post at Aunt Agony coz im afraid my bf wil read... Itz like dis...
Ppl here wil noe i had some probs wif my guy back den a few mths ago... We've been v happy together ever since tat matter. But now there's another prob...
There's a particular ger, let's name her [b]P. I noticed tat recently she kept sms-ing my bf... Initially i dun feel anythin... Coz my bf told mi she's onli a colleague. But she's too much loh. I mean her msges... Tat day she sms him askin him 2 bring her on a ride on his bike. My bf agreed 2 do so when he's free. Dis raised my unhappiness loh. Coz i dun like my bf 2 fetch other gers on his bikes except mi. N i oso hate it when other gers wear my helmet (my bf bought a new helmet 4 mi mah...).
Den when i told my bf abt my dislike n dissatisfaction, he assured mi there's nothin btw them. He oso promise mi not 2 do things tat i dun like loh. I got tell him tat i get jealous v easily loh... So i cant stand gers who always try 2 get close 2 him. Juz imagine tat P is on my bf's bike holdin tightly onto him. Juz e tot of it makes mi scared liao. Of course i dun like lah...
Den nvm. Last nite P sms him again. I was holdin on 2 my bf's hp mah. Den i look at e msg. Itz her again. She dis time even request 2 take an individual photograph wif him. After readin e msg my face turned black loh. I dunno wat he replied her loh. But i was angry n sad. I went into his room n continued watchin tv, as if nothin happened, but i couldnt hold on any longer. My tears started rollin down my cheeks loh.
I reali dunno wat motive P has... I juz noe tat she's a threat in our relationship... Although my bf keep assurin mi tat he onli loves mi, but i stil feel insecure... Becoz of tat ger. I dunno wat 2 do. I cant possibly keep an eye on my bf all 24hrs. I cant c wat e ger is doin too... She makes mi feel tat she's a B*itch... She's totally blacklisted by mi... I hate her. Why muz she come in n disturb... N itz not tat i dun haf confidence in my bf, i do trust him...
Maybe i juz dun haf confidence in myself... After all our relationship do haf a scar...[/b]
First,, do think back wat was the main cause for the initial scar? will history repeat itself or will either one of u be tired of trying hard juz to please each other and carrying on the r/s so none of u will be crying? but unknowingly one or both of u are crying in ur heart....
and secondly, u noe tis P is toking to him in sms and so forth and taking the steps in asking ur bf out... but den he agrees to it.. wat does tis show? disrepect of gf in the first place, and u think he lied abt her being juz colleagues, so another thing honesty is not there... hes finding excuses to do things under ur nose... he does not show any concern to how u will feel and it nvr came across his mind if u can ask abt tt gal means u do haf some suspect.. but even if he noes u noe tt he may be having a affair, he juz can't be bothered and why again? coz he wanna give hint and have a breakup earlier? i dun mean to hurt u now.. or make u cry more... but once u cried for a certain period of time, u will realised it was not worth it afterall u see? cry it out and u will feel better, u can choose not to eat but choose something to do which will make u happy at least why live in sadness when iraq and US are having war and the ppl are sadder... think abt this.. u aint the worst case yet and not the saddest creature yet... i am sure if u are nice gal another guy will come by and u will realised he can be better. even if not better at least u got over the past and is able to move on... u are growing up and matured den. nutting gonna stop u frm wat u wanna do and of coz get the attention of other better guys and den get attached again... getting attached and den single again is common like my parents right? they are married happily and den wanna divorce when their dotter is already 22? see things on the brighter side.
and now i saw one of the post that u ignored ur bf calls, and some said to make him sweat and be kan chiong.. will this reaction last foreva? to him its like... dun ans dun ans lor bo big deal.... and sometimes ppl do get tired of such acts. like u are tired of him lying to u right? so hor get more matured and ans his call.....settle things as u need to... why delay and haf more pain? and if he apologise or something.. do u think its sincere?
and this is why i dun understand why ppl can break up and den be back together again after a day, a week, 2 weeks, a month and so forth? coz its too short to realise the importance of the other party.. and the other party hasn't found another better partner and will not realise whos better... everyone will wanna find a godo partner right? so tis is it... u have to decide if u wanna haf more pain or find a better one? its all up to ursself.... be brave gal... i am behind u... everyone is helping.. so dun worry k?
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Salute!Originally posted by wendy81:a scarred r/s will oways be scarred and its nvr the same again... and now since u had witnessed for urself how much he disregard ur feelings why be bothered to care for how he feels right? we haf to learn to be selfish at times esp gals who are more vulnerable at many times. i wun give much consolation like others will give u like give him time, tok to him, and blah blah blah... but den i can only give u help by giving some pointers.
First,, do think back wat was the main cause for the initial scar? will history repeat itself or will either one of u be tired of trying hard juz to please each other and carrying on the r/s so none of u will be crying? but unknowingly one or both of u are crying in ur heart....
and secondly, u noe tis P is toking to him in sms and so forth and taking the steps in asking ur bf out... but den he agrees to it.. wat does tis show? disrepect of gf in the first place, and u think he lied abt her being juz colleagues, so another thing honesty is not there... hes finding excuses to do things under ur nose... he does not show any concern to how u will feel and it nvr came across his mind if u can ask abt tt gal means u do haf some suspect.. but even if he noes u noe tt he may be having a affair, he juz can't be bothered and why again? coz he wanna give hint and have a breakup earlier? i dun mean to hurt u now.. or make u cry more... but once u cried for a certain period of time, u will realised it was not worth it afterall u see? cry it out and u will feel better, u can choose not to eat but choose something to do which will make u happy at least why live in sadness when iraq and US are having war and the ppl are sadder... think abt this.. u aint the worst case yet and not the saddest creature yet... i am sure if u are nice gal another guy will come by and u will realised he can be better. even if not better at least u got over the past and is able to move on... u are growing up and matured den. nutting gonna stop u frm wat u wanna do and of coz get the attention of other better guys and den get attached again... getting attached and den single again is common like my parents right? they are married happily and den wanna divorce when their dotter is already 22? see things on the brighter side.
and now i saw one of the post that u ignored ur bf calls, and some said to make him sweat and be kan chiong.. will this reaction last foreva? to him its like... dun ans dun ans lor bo big deal.... and sometimes ppl do get tired of such acts. like u are tired of him lying to u right? so hor get more matured and ans his call.....settle things as u need to... why delay and haf more pain? and if he apologise or something.. do u think its sincere?
and this is why i dun understand why ppl can break up and den be back together again after a day, a week, 2 weeks, a month and so forth? coz its too short to realise the importance of the other party.. and the other party hasn't found another better partner and will not realise whos better... everyone will wanna find a godo partner right? so tis is it... u have to decide if u wanna haf more pain or find a better one? its all up to ursself.... be brave gal... i am behind u... everyone is helping.. so dun worry k? -
ah? i aint ur CSM dun salute.. heheheOriginally posted by skeujin:Salute! -
hmm, i think human basically love attention, be it gals or guys...
now ur bf knows he got a gal attracted to him, bet he's over the moon unless she's ugly...if not he will just play it cool, try not to rock the boat too much..
think its pretty tough on ur side now..asking him to cut her off is rather impossible, cos guys seldom will do tat unless the gal is ugly...
so i guess wat u can do now is pretty limited, apart from trying to stay as close to him as possible, so tat the other gal hasnt go any chances towards him.. -
i sick chicken, nvr had to salute in my life.Originally posted by wendy81:ah? i aint ur CSM dun salute.. hehehe 
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hahahahaa!! KNSOriginally posted by skeujin:i sick chicken, nvr had to salute in my life. -
skeujin = sick chickenOriginally posted by wendy81:hahahahaa!! KNS
& im proud of it!
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thought i advise u to leave him last time.......
haiz.... trust him cos u love him if not really no point -
I trust him. But i cant always trust him 4 nothin... He has 2 do somethin 2 earn my trust...
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like?Originally posted by shan_cai:I trust him. But i cant always trust him 4 nothin... He has 2 do somethin 2 earn my trust...
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since u said so now... i think hes going overboard.. and now u also think he aint gaining ur trust by his own means... why hang on to something which the owner himself dun wanna work for it?Originally posted by shan_cai:I trust him. But i cant always trust him 4 nothin... He has 2 do somethin 2 earn my trust... -
u trust him? remove yr rose tinited glasses n face the truth.... he fooling around rite in yr face.Originally posted by shan_cai:I trust him. But i cant always trust him 4 nothin... He has 2 do somethin 2 earn my trust... -
Btw i post here cos i wanna let u know that there alot of ppls here concern abt u.....
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u mean ur bf haven't do anything....Originally posted by shan_cai:I trust him. But i cant always trust him 4 nothin... He has 2 do somethin 2 earn my trust... -
i haf a feeling that.. its all attention u need gal... but den.. we are giving u enuff.. so its up to u treasure us... if he dun wanna care abt u .. so be it.. leave it.. and face up to reality no use lying to urself and finding some pain to inflict on urself.. wats the point? feeling pain will make u feel good? we r busy posting to help u when u need to... haiz... in my yrs of courtship i had many unhappy happenings too.. like a 4yrs bf who lived on me and i had to work when i was only a teenager to support our r/s and at the end of 4yrs we broke off and he got married in 2mths time to a thai village gal... wat is tis? its all unfair.. our life is nvr fair dun lament anymore and move on wif life pls
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If you treasure yourself shan_cai, then leave your bf. Obviously he has something for that gal. Being a guy, who doesn't like to have a gal being interested @ him? If you think that he may be cheating on you then leave and give yourself time and chance to start afresh. If your bf really love you, he will prevent the breakup. If not then of course, dress up and make up and go get yourself a new guy! Not worth fighting over a guy who is obviously has some interest in the other gal! Don't let him two time you. Don't let him have the assurance that he has you and the other gal @ the same time ok?Originally posted by wendy81:i haf a feeling that.. its all attention u need gal... but den.. we are giving u enuff.. so its up to u treasure us... if he dun wanna care abt u .. so be it.. leave it.. and face up to reality no use lying to urself and finding some pain to inflict on urself.. wats the point? feeling pain will make u feel good? we r busy posting to help u when u need to... haiz... in my yrs of courtship i had many unhappy happenings too.. like a 4yrs bf who lived on me and i had to work when i was only a teenager to support our r/s and at the end of 4yrs we broke off and he got married in 2mths time to a thai village gal... wat is tis? its all unfair.. our life is nvr fair dun lament anymore and move on wif life pls You will only encourage him to further on the other relationship. -
Although u r only 18 yo, but when in love, everyones the same. Theres ppl out there, 22 yo liao still duno watz true love. Some guyz mayb shaking their heads after reading this thread, cursing ur bf but they r actually nt much better.
Well..its useless to put in so much effort in maintaining tis r/s when the other party cant even b bothered. If he realli loves u, u wun nd to go to the extent of secretly calling P & tell her to leave ur bf.
Sometimes I wonder if guyz realli dun understand us, or they juz pretending tt they duno. Bec if they act like duno,then they dun haf to do anything rite? -
*nodding nodding*Originally posted by s_40:Although u r only 18 yo, but when in love, everyones the same. Theres ppl out there, 22 yo liao still duno watz true love. Some guyz mayb shaking their heads after reading this thread, cursing ur bf but they r actually nt much better.
Well..its useless to put in so much effort in maintaining tis r/s when the other party cant even b bothered. If he realli loves u, u wun nd to go to the extent of secretly calling P & tell her to leave ur bf.
Sometimes I wonder if guyz realli dun understand us, or they juz pretending tt they duno. Bec if they act like duno,then they dun haf to do anything rite?
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Yesh... U ppl r young... juniors!!!Originally posted by IamAngeline:shan_cai, you are still young well you see I'm only 19 this yr too..
i've also been blinded
everyone also wants a stable and committed relationship, but sometimes there tend to be barrier to it.
that's y we always say we have to fight ourselves happiness...
you understand?>
I oso blinded b4... So I oso Young!!! -
I feel that there is a need for u to get her no. and call her.. and sort everything out... if ur bf never tell her that he is attached, den u take the step to approach her and tell her to leave ur bf alone... ask her.. if she is in ur shoes, how will she feel? another part on ur bf... did he come clean on the relationship of u and him?
if me, i also wont want my guy to pillion another ger...
tell ur bf assurance is not enough.. wat u need is actions.. actions speak louder than words.. not just saw and pacify u and treat as nothing has happen...