I hate my BF!!!
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my bf scold me vagurities which is the 1st tiime he said so after 3yrs plus being together. i wanna a break up but it is non-mature way of doin. if you r in my shoes, wat'll u do? i cant supress my anger nor the hurt in my heart... i hate him!!!
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hmm, find out why he scolded u.
three years leh...its considered quite a long time you've been together... -
good morning and welcome to sgforums..
think u might need to cool down, drink some milk, and then think about it later maybe after lunch call him and tell him u wanna seehim to talk about it.
since this is the first time, at least let him know it really hurts u and see how from there...
cool down.. -
using vulgarities is very uncouth, no matter who is in the right or wrong..
anyway, what led to the incident? -
Originally posted by shutthehellup:hmm, find out why he scolded u.
three years leh...its considered quite a long time you've been together... -
scold him back lor
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actually is my fault, i show temper to him 1st... but b4 i can say sorry, he scold me. i'm shocked @ tat moment cos tat is the 1st time he said valgarities to me which reali hurt me ... though nw ok liao cos i pretend i didnt heard it but the hurt n anger in my heart still there. wat sld i do?Originally posted by sillyme:using vulgarities is very uncouth, no matter who is in the right or wrong..
anyway, what led to the incident? -
wah 3 years liao .. u 2 getting married soon?? Any plans to?? if not break up lar.... dragging a relationship for so long no good lar ... Probably he also feels dam sians liao tat y use valgarities on U.
Anyway watever the case .. all the best !
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calmly tell him that u dun like hearing that from a person u love and that you were very hurt by it...tell him how u feel, dun tell him what he done wrong...in this way u wont put him in self-defense.Originally posted by whoofwhoof:actually is my fault, i show temper to him 1st... but b4 i can say sorry, he scold me. i'm shocked @ tat moment cos tat is the 1st time he said valgarities to me which reali hurt me ... though nw ok liao cos i pretend i didnt heard it but the hurt n anger in my heart still there. wat sld i do? -
Originally posted by stoner:wah 3 years liao .. u 2 getting married soon?? Any plans to?? if not break up lar.... dragging a relationship for so long no good lar ... Probably he also feels dam sians liao tat y use valgarities on U.
Anyway watever the case .. all the best ! 
is it true he might feel sianz to me? 
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it's good that you were in the wrong in the first place for showing temper.. swallow your pride and apologise for that.. but like jOhO said, tell him how you felt when he used vulgarities on u after you apologised.. take the initiative ok?Originally posted by whoofwhoof:actually is my fault, i show temper to him 1st... but b4 i can say sorry, he scold me. i'm shocked @ tat moment cos tat is the 1st time he said valgarities to me which reali hurt me ... though nw ok liao cos i pretend i didnt heard it but the hurt n anger in my heart still there. wat sld i do?
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Originally posted by sillyme:it's good that you were in the wrong in the first place for showing temper.. swallow your pride and apologise for that.. but like jOhO said, tell him how you felt when he used vulgarities on u after you apologised.. take the initiative ok?
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Correct me if i am wrong, but has ur bf been giving in to u all the while when u 2 were together? If tt is the case, i cant understand y he suddenly scolded u. Mayb he has been taking things in his heart and giving in all the while and now he cant take it in anymore, tts y he broke out and scolded u. I am just making a point seen, ignore it if it isnt true.Originally posted by whoofwhoof:actually is my fault, i show temper to him 1st... but b4 i can say sorry, he scold me. i'm shocked @ tat moment cos tat is the 1st time he said valgarities to me which reali hurt me ... though nw ok liao cos i pretend i didnt heard it but the hurt n anger in my heart still there. wat sld i do? -
not everyone has the patience.. and i would say he was pretty angry too...
take this time to sit him down, have a heart-to-heart.. try and fix what's wrong with your relationship
i hope you two will be happy
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I agree with both of them. Since u aready know wat is wrong, do sth abt it bah. I suggest both of u sit down and tok things calmly. U tell him how u feel at the same time, listen to how he feels, ok? Dun emphasis on ur feelings 1st....Originally posted by sillyme:it's good that you were in the wrong in the first place for showing temper.. swallow your pride and apologise for that.. but like jOhO said, tell him how you felt when he used vulgarities on u after you apologised.. take the initiative ok? -
not all the time he givin in to me... but those times we quarrel, we dun use valgurities to each other. that y this time it hurt me deeply like a knife cut my flesh... the pain is unbearable.... i dun kn hw to describe. i dun wish to tok to him but cant cos i dun wan gif up this 3yrs plus relationship jus of this matter.Originally posted by shaunlaw:Correct me if i am wrong, but has ur bf been giving in to u all the while when u 2 were together? If tt is the case, i cant understand y he suddenly scolded u. Mayb he has been taking things in his heart and giving in all the while and now he cant take it in anymore, tts y he broke out and scolded u. I am just making a point seen, ignore it if it isnt true. -
i think the guy should leave u...since the relationship is so fragile such that just profanity will make u consider thinking of breaking up
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If not all the time does it mean most of the times as well? I duno the ans to this qn, only u do. I agree with u scolding vulgarities is bad and it hurts u alot. SO i think u shld tok to him and let him noe. Just a simple sentence: Could u not say vulgarities to me nxt time? SAy it in a nice manner. And dun keep mentioning the past as if u really wan to move on, u cant keep thinking tt he scolded u b4.....Originally posted by whoofwhoof:not all the time he givin in to me... but those times we quarrel, we dun use valgurities to each other. that y this time it hurt me deeply like a knife cut my flesh... the pain is unbearable.... i dun kn hw to describe. i dun wish to tok to him but cant cos i dun wan gif up this 3yrs plus relationship jus of this matter. -
actually i'm trying to figure out what does it mean? he no feelin on me? but i dun feel it cos after that incident he treat it nothin happen and good to me as normal though he didnt apologise to me n i'm the one takin the initiative to talk to him after he scolded me tat day... i'm tryin 2 forget it but the pain in my heart cannot supress... what can i do to totally forget it? i'm nt petty if so i wont swallow my pride n tok to him first after he scolded me...
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When u scold someone, it means u are really angry. And when u are angry, words tend to fly out from ut mouth without u knowing it urself wats coming out. It does not mean he has no feeling for u. IF he doesnt, why will he treat u so good? He din mention it after it happened mayb becos he dun wan it to affect u and dun wan u to think of it anymore.Originally posted by whoofwhoof:actually i'm trying to figure out what does it mean? he no feelin on me? but i dun feel it cos after that incident he treat it nothin happen and good to me as normal though he didnt apologise to me n i'm the one takin the initiative to talk to him after he scolded me tat day... i'm tryin 2 forget it but the pain in my heart cannot supress... what can i do to totally forget it? i'm nt petty if so i wont swallow my pride n tok to him first after he scolded me...
Hmm.... y not take it as an arguement broke out and scolding is normal? well, like i said he propably dun wish the incident to hurt ur rls, tts y he dun mention. But if u hols on, its going to turn fr nth into another arguement le... so, try to take it easy.... let time make u forget it... I believe tt if u wan to forget it, u can.. and if u wan to rem it, u will... -
x 2Originally posted by Taufiq:scold him back lor 
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Dun start another quarrel lah!!Originally posted by Master -_-:x 2 -
first...lets establish what language of the vulgarity he used. If its just F@#K, then come on...this is too common to be so disturbed. You must understand that being together for 3 yrs is a long time and you two should be able to uderstand each other.
You must first know if you had been at fault, which you had candidly admitted...thats good. Then understand that your BF is also human and has his own frustrations. So don't just throw everything at him without ever considering his feeling.
Only two individuals together and understanding each others feeling is best. This is also not endorsing that him using vulgarity is good and right, cos it'll become a habit. But the most sensible way and thing to do is to talk it out. First admit your fault for your temperament, then explain to him that you're hurt about the vulgarity he used. If he loves you, he'll understand and try not to repeat that. Also, repeating that cannot only mean that he doesn't love you.... Your tolerance can be until unless he raises his hands...then that is really a NO NO!
Whoofwhoof... using vulgarity is just a show of his frustration.. it could have been started off by you... would you rather him using violence to show his frustration?......
take care... -
i forgot to add in jus nw... actually he wanna to slap me tat day after i show my temper to him. he said" if u r nt my gf, i definitely will slap you"...Originally posted by edseeker31:first...lets establish what language of the vulgarity he used. If its just F@#K, then come on...this is too common to be so disturbed. You must understand that being together for 3 yrs is a long time and you two should be able to uderstand each other.
You must first know if you had been at fault, which you had candidly admitted...thats good. Then understand that your BF is also human and has his own frustrations. So don't just throw everything at him without ever considering his feeling.
Only two individuals together and understanding each others feeling is best. This is also not endorsing that him using vulgarity is good and right, cos it'll become a habit. But the most sensible way and thing to do is to talk it out. First admit your fault for your temperament, then explain to him that you're hurt about the vulgarity he used. If he loves you, he'll understand and try not to repeat that. Also, repeating that cannot only mean that he doesn't love you.... Your tolerance can be until unless he raises his hands...then that is really a NO NO!
Whoofwhoof... using vulgarity is just a show of his frustration.. it could have been started off by you... would you rather him using violence to show his frustration?......
take care... -
Originally posted by whoofwhoof:i forgot to add in jus nw... actually he wanna to slap me tat day after i show my temper to him. he said" if u r nt my gf, i definitely will slap you"...
slap? wat did u say to him or do to him tt make him want to slap u?