helping ex
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Recently my ex gf commited suicide due to quarrel wif her bf n they are not together liao...think she broke her leg and now gotto be wheeled around. Few days ago, she called me to ask if i can lend her money so that she can go to therapy and other checkups cause her mum is not working and her dad is behind bar....think i shld help??
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If I were you I will.
Since she call for help and as once your love.. think you should lor -
Yes...
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But b prepared, u might not get the $$ back.Originally posted by Bochupi:Recently my ex gf commited suicide due to quarrel wif her bf n they are not together liao...think she broke her leg and now gotto be wheeled around. Few days ago, she called me to ask if i can lend her money so that she can go to therapy and other checkups cause her mum is not working and her dad is behind bar....think i shld help?? -
aiya...headache lor..cause last time she keep borrowing money from me to pay her phone bills, medicines, help friends, etc, etc....now a bit scared liao..anyway she onli call me when she need help or money...other than that no communication one.....dont wanna be carrot again..what to do, what to do...Originally posted by X-men:If I were you I will.
Since she call for help and as once your love.. think you should lor -
with such famliy background, she can approach family service centre or other help groups for financial and psychological assistance (if needed)Originally posted by Bochupi:her mum is not working and her dad is behind bar....think i shld help?? -
did u visit her at the hospitial & saw wat really happen to her or did u just believe wat she told u?Originally posted by Bochupi:aiya...headache lor..cause last time she keep borrowing money from me to pay her phone bills, medicines, help friends, etc, etc....now a bit scared liao..anyway she onli call me when she need help or money...other than that no communication one.....dont wanna be carrot again..what to do, what to do... -
can u afford to help?
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haha...been lending her $$ since few years back...think amount to few k liao...and not even a single cent come back one lor...even when i needed the money to pay for my sch fees, gotto borrow frm my fren somemore...Originally posted by TrAnQuILiTy:But b prepared, u might not get the $$ back. -
it happen during the SARs period lor...so cannot visit...now she keep telling me to go visit her at her house cause her mum wanted to meet me too......go liao also donno what to talk to her...wait see her cry then liao liao...Originally posted by bjork:did u visit her at the hospitial & saw wat really happen to her or did u just believe wat she told u? -
Den i tink its nt advisable 2lent her money. Felt tat she juz wanna mak use of u... and there's nobody else she cld turn 2... so she turn 2 u. Dun let her tak advantage of u anymor.Originally posted by Bochupi:haha...been lending her $$ since few years back...think amount to few k liao...and not even a single cent come back one lor...even when i needed the money to pay for my sch fees, gotto borrow frm my fren somemore... -
Men are more soft-hearted than women... -
hmms fishy wor. I think u ought to go both to see her & talk to her. Maybe she really need someone now. Does she has any close pals that u know too.Originally posted by Bochupi:it happen during the SARs period lor...so cannot visit...now she keep telling me to go visit her at her house cause her mum wanted to meet me too......go liao also donno what to talk to her...wait see her cry then liao liao... -
key word here is EX
since ur no longer 2gether y bother?????
just tell her ur money is saved 4 betta use
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dont lend her! LIke you said....she only calls you when she needs something, she is just using you!
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follow yr heart bah..
i believe u know the right/wrong ans, maybe u just wan "confirmation", someone to stand on yr side.coz u already know u gona be a carrot liao.... and by that, most of us will ask you not to help her.. i think if u still have feelings for her n even is she is yr EX, u wld still wanna help her lor...even u know u are not going to get back yr money or not even hoping that yr relationship with her will reconcile. -
If its within your financial limits,then help loh.
Else,can always help in other ways instead of financially. -
Learn how to say no.
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Lend at your own risk...knowingly that it's a trap and yet you wanna fall for it? I'm glad that you actually bring up this topic coz i've encountered such a thing..but it's not me lor...it's my fren kenna....also the same case as you..but abit diff. coz she pregnent and also wanna commit suicide...she knoe my fren kinda likes her and soft-hearted..so she approached him for $$$ saying tat she dun wan the baby..i was still with my fren that time when she sms him...Right in my mind...i was thinking...hey manz..i do not believe in this kinda shit..but my fren,..an idiot though seek my advices and opinions..still went to lend her the $$$...not knowing whether if she really is pregnent or not coz she told him she's two months pregnent...so the stomach will not show any diff..so that idiot fren of mine lend her $500 bucks to do the operation(So called Operation..din even know if it's true she realli go for it) So...after the "Operation" period is over..my fren tried to contact her n c how well she's doing(not wanting back the $$$$)..but cant get thru for almost a week or so...c wat i mean? The 2nd part came...she called my fren n guess this time wat's the reason? She din not have $$$ to pay for her hp bill n so her line was cut n now she's asking for $$$ to pay her bills...wat a real damn shit...(Wondering how come she can use her hp to call my fren since her line is being cut)..well..money-lending...and then this idiot kenna again...lent her $300..hey..though it's not a big $$$..but this can't go on 4eva..
Too much stories in between to tell here...but anyway..the ending is that my fren(that idiot) was betrayed by his fren n that girl and this was known to that guy n gal...and since then..she never called him up again..though i feel sad for my fren...but that's a lesson learnt for him...hope this will help you to tink whether you shld lend or not?
Be wise...this's not your 1st time lending her $$$$ even though she's your Ex...she looked for you is maybe becoz you're her EX and she knows you well or maybe she knows that you'll give her wat she wan...
See how she react when you tell her that you dun have $$$...maybe till then you'll see answer? maybe...
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got money also don't spent like that, if she can't go through the hard way can you support her forever? Are you going to married her? she injuried herself also not for you.Originally posted by Bochupi:Recently my ex gf commited suicide due to quarrel wif her bf n they are not together liao...think she broke her leg and now gotto be wheeled around. Few days ago, she called me to ask if i can lend her money so that she can go to therapy and other checkups cause her mum is not working and her dad is behind bar....think i shld help??
I don't think this is call "help" , you only make her think that money comes easy. -
even if u still have feelings for her it does not mean that u have to help her in the way she want u to help her...
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as a man, i feel u should help her 1 LAST time. and make it clear tat it is the last and u feel tat u guys would never make it past 'casual friends' anymore. after that, never visit her family again. sometimes we need 2 be cruel to be kind.
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From all your posting on your ex, I think u should not "give" her the $$. Have had a previous experience once, similar to yours. Ended up got borrow no return.
Next, even IF you still likes her, your should not lend her the $$ oso. Although you did not mentioned anything about who initiated the broke up (when she was with you). Her latest ex may have broke up with her due to the $$ issue, which you said that you have lend here a few $K already.
Bro, think again...
As what firelce mentioned, if you really wanna help, get her to some family ctr or help group. By lending her $$ is not helping her. -
aiyo...how come your fren's situation so similar to mine one....sad ah...u treat pple good, pple take u for granted...then when u don bother abt them, they'll say all the good guy die liao....Originally posted by dcx:Lend at your own risk...knowingly that it's a trap and yet you wanna fall for it? I'm glad that you actually bring up this topic coz i've encountered such a thing..but it's not me lor...it's my fren kenna....also the same case as you..but abit diff. coz she pregnent and also wanna commit suicide...she knoe my fren kinda likes her and soft-hearted..so she approached him for $$$ saying tat she dun wan the baby..i was still with my fren that time when she sms him...Right in my mind...i was thinking...hey manz..i do not believe in this kinda shit..but my fren,..an idiot though seek my advices and opinions..still went to lend her the $$$...not knowing whether if she really is pregnent or not coz she told him she's two months pregnent...so the stomach will not show any diff..so that idiot fren of mine lend her $500 bucks to do the operation(So called Operation..din even know if it's true she realli go for it) So...after the "Operation" period is over..my fren tried to contact her n c how well she's doing(not wanting back the $$$$)..but cant get thru for almost a week or so...c wat i mean? The 2nd part came...she called my fren n guess this time wat's the reason? She din not have $$$ to pay for her hp bill n so her line was cut n now she's asking for $$$ to pay her bills...wat a real damn shit...(Wondering how come she can use her hp to call my fren since her line is being cut)..well..money-lending...and then this idiot kenna again...lent her $300..hey..though it's not a big $$$..but this can't go on 4eva..
Too much stories in between to tell here...but anyway..the ending is that my fren(that idiot) was betrayed by his fren n that girl and this was known to that guy n gal...and since then..she never called him up again..though i feel sad for my fren...but that's a lesson learnt for him...hope this will help you to tink whether you shld lend or not?
Be wise...this's not your 1st time lending her $$$$ even though she's your Ex...she looked for you is maybe becoz you're her EX and she knows you well or maybe she knows that you'll give her wat she wan...
See how she react when you tell her that you dun have $$$...maybe till then you'll see answer? maybe... 