This good good GAL and its just ME
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Call her then?Originally posted by Car84:Aaa...bro nightyoung....u make me want to call up the gal i love(same situation as u leh)
....hahahahha.....
Same situation?? haha.. not the same gal can liao
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Dear Bro Night Young,
I`ve been in sgforums reading their articles for a very lon time already. But i`ve yet to reply to any posts. I`ve seen ur article qute a few mths back. But after seein the 1st post i`ve decided not to carry on reading, cuz ur story shares so much similarities as mine.
And I did not want those memories to come back.. but today i`ve seen til this last post of ur I really felt that I need to help u from this terrible torture.. allow me to give u a v simplified version of my story 1st.
As it begins,
The whole incident happened abt 6-7 yrs ago when I was still in my sec sch days.. I saw this wonderful lookin junior of mine.. I could haf called it love at 1st sight or wat..
I was immediately attracted to her.. i`ve lived as an observer for a very long time until my frens helped me make up a lame excuse to borrow notes from her. Thus a chance to make frens w her..
After knowin her officially, I begin to find out all the other gd aspects of her. Then this feelin of like became love.. the feelin grew stronger, and soon we became the bestest of frens.. we talked abt anything and could be on the fone for hours yet we still haf so much to talk abt..
The times spent w her were really fast.. soon i`ve take my o lvls and haf to leave the sch..
Afraid of losin her to other ppl I popped her the golden qn. Yes I was rejected, the reason she gave me was tt she was not really prepared for any relationship rite now.. so I wait for her to fin her o lvls the nxt yr. then I poped the same qn to her again.. again she said she`s still not ready.. okok.. I tink I shouldnÂ’t force her if she`s not ready..
The real prob came when she entered JC.. I was in J2 and she was in J1.. dunno why but juz the same sch.. ok there was this guy in her class tt I know of.. I felt that healso haf some feelins ofr her.. that guy really knows how to make her laugh and I felt that she`ll be happy with that guy.. so i`ve decided to back out in her life.. I no longer call her and ask her to go out again.. u can say I `m actually avoidin her.. but do u know that i`m realy feelin damn low at that time.. i`m suffering form the same day ?nite syndrome.. any sad song from the radio would bring tears into my eyes.. i`ve no appitite for any food.. As time passed I tot i`ll forget her gradually
6 months passed, when one day her mama called me.. She asked me where was I for the passed few mths.. later she broke out a news that had made me regret leavin her..
the so called NICE guy tt I had perceived was actually ill treatin her and bullying her.. askin her to cary this and doin tt.. then she was very sad, and so was I.. how could I haf left her alone when she needed me most.. so I called her out again.. we talked abt the whole incident in a very mature way. Soon I found out that they were only normal frens, but the guy did in fact express his love to her. But her rejections had made him very angry. Her life was very miserable as the guy makes things diff for her.. since then we called each other more often and in no time, our relationship became wat it was a few mths ago.. theing were plain sailing til the time I had to go to the army?
As enlistment date draws near, I was getting more nervous. I was afraid that the history will repeat itself. So I ask her the same old qn again.. this time she still give the same old reason.. she wanted to conc on the studies 1st.. and so it goes?i`ve failed again..
With a very broken heart I went to tekong for my BMT..
Time in the army was very busy.. I had very little time to talk to her.. and much less to go out shoppin together..
And so it ends?
Dear Night Young, I do not wish ur case to be like mine.. as u see.. my story is a very brief acc of my love life..
If u observe carefully, our love come in a full circle of diff stages
Stage 1?
You make frens w her..
Stage 2?
You becomes good frens.. then the so called likin becomes love
Stage 3?
She leaves you for some reason.. tt`s when our hearts breaks the most.
Stage 4?
U missed her so much.. u decided to call her back and u go back to stage one
I`ve experienced this cycle for countless times w her.. then i`ve decided tt I need to break free of this torture.. I choose exile.. so far i`ve not seen her for abt a yr.. but tionks tt she`s still single..
Pls take a day and sit down to tink clearly abt wat u really wanted out of ur relationship..
Ps i`ve some Quotes for u..
``to love is not to own``
``if u love someone, set her free, if she comes back, she`s urs``
and also.. i`ll like to introduce this very nice song by westlife..
If I Let You Go
Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows
I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The dare is to show
To letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinkin' about
Takin' the easy way out
But if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
Will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
How will I know
if I let you go
Night after night
I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
To speak to my heart
It's such a shame
We're worlds apart
I'm to shy to ask
I'm to proud to lose
But sooner or later I've gotta choose
And once again
I'm thinkin' about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me
Will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
How will I know
if I let you go
If I let you go, oh baby...
Ooooh
And once again I'm thinkin' about
Takin' the easy way out
But if I let you go
I will never know
what my life would be
holding you close to me (close to me)
Will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
How will I know
if I let you go
But if I let you go
I will never know
(oh baby)
Will I ever see
you smiling back at me
oh yeah
How will I know
If I let you go
Pls take care of urself and not to be like me.. i`ll be lying if I say I don miss her..
BaByBoY -
Hmm...
Right now i am still a friend of hers and she is still a friend of mine.. lots ot post tell me to give up.
Since she had made up her mind and choice its unlikely she is going to leave the guy.
So .. meanwhile i just get focused with my life and do the more impt thing.. fot your case.. you still can enjoy army life and map out what you really want to do after ORD and maybe if you got the spare time you might want to take up a new hobby or course... meet more people then maybe you will find someone better..
I think its foolish of us to hang on to something... since she's not ready for a relationship for your case.. treat her as close friend of yours and see how... and get on with life..
If she is 100 pts from your pt of view.. if you do give up.. you can find a girl that is more than 100 pts.. she is like ... i can say the gauge for finding your next girlfriend... and yes.. i find girls are great advisors too.. in helping you to improve our characters so that girls are attracted to you instead of you spending so much time and effort in chasing one gal..
To me... Whenever I go her with her.. i treat her like a close friend of mine... or maybe sister,,, she too... as long we are happy .. that's it... no pt into a relationship and have so many problems to settle.. -
Hey, i`m goin to ORD soon.. recently i`m very involved in biking.. so i spent less time tinkin abt her already.. wat i`m scared of is when one days she calls me and said that she wans to meet up again.. i`m scared tt i`ll go back to her.. well its been so many years and i`ve not given any other gals a second thought..at least for the past 6-7yrs haha..
maybe i`m really attracted to her..
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anyway.. she chose not to be with you.. so be it...Originally posted by BaByBoY:Hey, i`m goin to ORD soon.. recently i`m very involved in biking.. so i spent less time tinkin abt her already.. wat i`m scared of is when one days she calls me and said that she wans to meet up again.. i`m scared tt i`ll go back to her.. well its been so many years and i`ve not given any other gals a second thought..at least for the past 6-7yrs haha..
maybe i`m really attracted to her..
Let's live and be happy!! -
Yeah.. u`re rite.. and so it ends..
i`m lookin forward to my oncomin uni life....
hope i can find `the one` there..
and make me forget her..
haha.. -
hey...
its been quite sopme time now..
bro night young.. how`s u and ur fren getting along? -
We contact less often.. its just SMS la..Originally posted by BaByBoY:hey...
its been quite sopme time now..
bro night young.. how`s u and ur fren getting along?
haha.. anyway...i think she is pretty ok now and i am trying to forget about it.... -
I can feel that ur liking 4 tis girls is stronger than i imagine...but whatever it is, it is good not to have put some much faith in a girl...u sure get hurt when u find out that either she was attach or she has no feelings for u. Don't waste so much time juz 2 wait 4 a girl, anyway, there are plenty of nice girl out there in the world, u can slowly take ur own sweet time 2 choose lor..
. Not worth it waiting lor...Normally i waited at least 3 to 4 months 4 a girl 2 consider me lor, if beyond that, i tend 2 gif up and move on 2 search 4 another wan.. 
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thx for ur opinion..Originally posted by James1:I can feel that ur liking 4 tis girls is stronger than i imagine...but whatever it is, it is good not to have put some much faith in a girl...u sure get hurt when u find out that either she was attach or she has no feelings for u. Don't waste so much time juz 2 wait 4 a girl, anyway, there are plenty of nice girl out there in the world, u can slowly take ur own sweet time 2 choose lor... Not worth it waiting lor...Normally i waited at least 3 to 4 months 4 a girl 2 consider me lor, if beyond that, i tend 2 gif up and move on 2 search 4 another wan..
but sometimes it ain`t abt time..
there`re ppl willing to wait..
its abt how deep is the love..
agree nite young?? -
Babyboy and Nightyoung, ultimately just hope that you two guys will be happy. Whether you choose to wait for that girl, or to indulge in other activities and forget the girl, or to just continue to be around as friends, just hope you guys are happy with your lives. Ultimately it is you who deems that the person is worth waiting for or caring for. So who's to say anything? Even what I'm saying now is secondary.
You love someone because of your own heart, not because you are forced to.
With these two guys around and Bear, and they say guys aren't sensitive enough? -
Originally posted by SumOne:
thx someone..
Babyboy and Nightyoung, ultimately just hope that you two guys will be happy. Whether you choose to wait for that girl, or to indulge in other activities and forget the girl, or to just continue to be around as friends, just hope you guys are happy with your lives. Ultimately it is you who deems that the person is worth waiting for or caring for. So who's to say anything? Even what I'm saying now is secondary.
You love someone because of your own heart, not because you are forced to.
With these two guys around and Bear, and they say guys aren't sensitive enough?
u know wat?
today i went back to my old sch to look at my teacher w one of my frens... i wasn`t lookin forward to seein any unexpected ppl..
but when i was talkin to a teacher in the canteen,
someone w a familiar stature juz walked pass me.. to my surprise, its her, YES its really her..
i`ve been trying to forget her and go on w life for so long...
yet when i saw her again juz now, my heart pumped like it was racing..
is it tellin me i still cant forget her???
i told myself plz, plz i really wanna forget her.. now i`ve seen her, all the memories keep comin back to me.. i really dunno how she feels.. i talked to her for a while.. as thou nothin had happened b4.,,
i`d lost all mood to do things now..
her images keep on surfacin in my mind..
i really don wanna go back to the stage like last time...
why so suay..
WHY... -
Wow, sounds so dramatic, just like some drama serial or some movie. Don't get me wrong, totally believe you, just feel that your life is very 'lively' because of this one person. Guess it's because she is really something in your heart, at least for now she still is.Originally posted by BaByBoY:thx someone..
u know wat?
today i went back to my old sch to look at my teacher w one of my frens... i wasn`t lookin forward to seein any unexpected ppl..
but when i was talkin to a teacher in the canteen,
someone w a familiar stature juz walked pass me.. to my surprise, its her, YES its really her..
i`ve been trying to forget her and go on w life for so long...
yet when i saw her again juz now, my heart pumped like it was racing..
is it tellin me i still cant forget her???
i told myself plz, plz i really wanna forget her.. now i`ve seen her, all the memories keep comin back to me.. i really dunno how she feels.. i talked to her for a while.. as thou nothin had happened b4.,,
i`d lost all mood to do things now..
her images keep on surfacin in my mind..
i really don wanna go back to the stage like last time...
why so suay..
WHY...
Getting over someone is a tough process, and no one can really help you. You have to get over those feelings yourself. It's not easy and sometimes, the harder you try, the harder it becomes. All I can say is time heals all wounds, and scars sometimes remain.
Just try to move on with life and not let this hold you back. Thinking of it more will only affect you more. I understand because that's happened to me before. Don't let yourself lose out on other things in life and oppurtunities because of her. I'm sure she doesn't want you to be badly affected in any way either.
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sometimes i tink my life is like a sad movie like tt.. cuz of her i`ve lost interest in other gals for so many yrs..maybe tt explains why i still no gf..Originally posted by SumOne:Wow, sounds so dramatic, just like some drama serial or some movie. Don't get me wrong, totally believe you, just feel that your life is very 'lively' because of this one person. Guess it's because she is really something in your heart, at least for now she still is.
Getting over someone is a tough process, and no one can really help you. You have to get over those feelings yourself. It's not easy and sometimes, the harder you try, the harder it becomes. All I can say is time heals all wounds, and scars sometimes remain.
Just try to move on with life and not let this hold you back. Thinking of it more will only affect you more. I understand because that's happened to me before. Don't let yourself lose out on other things in life and oppurtunities because of her. I'm sure she doesn't want you to be badly affected in any way either.
yes i did control my slef real hard.. i nv call her..
the tot have been comin in my mind like popcorn..
i juz hope she doen`t call me or her mom doesnt call me for the nxt few weeks hopefully mths..
juz it cuz takes a call to kill my will power.....
now feelin sad.. real sad...
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Yesterday, she sms me.. said that she miss me suddenly..
when i read the message.. i was like.. no feeling already.. so i just sms her.. and sms haven't call her yet...
I don't know what if i will be in this cycle again when i hear her voice again... -
yest her mum called me..Originally posted by nightyoung:Yesterday, she sms me.. said that she miss me suddenly..
when i read the message.. i was like.. no feeling already.. so i just sms her.. and sms haven't call her yet...
I don't know what if i will be in this cycle again when i hear her voice again...
in the end i and her and her mum went shopin yest..
had a dinner together and talked abt each other`s life.. fromt the way i see her i tink she still no bf as yet.. i told her i maybe goin into the same course as her in uni...
she seemed quite pleased w it..
well as i went shoppin w her family, i was tinkin to myself.. wat am i doin??
am i goin back to the cycle again??
i`m really afraid.. really..
when i came home yest.. images of her appeared in front of me whenever i close my eyes...
now i do miss her..
jus sent her a sms juz now..
i`ve got a feelin its all comin back to me now..
can anyone enlighten me wat to do??
don tell me to go back to her...
plz tell me how i can forgo her.. plz...
real sad now.. -
1st of all u should try to accept that u are not confident enough and sincerely tell them that u are the right guy for her....
2nd the gals are not ready for the relationship is because of their lack of confident to love a guy who are really good.They thought that the relationship will be easily break up coz they already have the exp and background..they too have the experince of rejection from other ppl .
They scare that if they accept ur love, u will be like the other realtionship they have broke which make them more painful..
they too scare to lose a nice relationship since they can maintain it like this for so long..
So u need to proof to them that u can be urself and make the relationship strong by telling to giving the love and not coward staying behind the door waiting for love...
try not be afraid and think too much since god have a plan for every love ..
make sure that u love her becoz u really love her not that u have already use to the appearance in ur life..
look at the example of babyboy ,he can forget about her but when she appear again in his life everything will change back to normal..
Try not to affect urself with the love itself coz there is still a lot of things u can do to find new love or to maintain the relationship u hope to have..
Make ur life a life fill with not only love but also fun......
Ok last of all is that to chase a girl ,u must be what u are and not a coward who just wait ther to let it happen...and try to think from another person view so that u will know why they reject u ..
I think most ppl who have this problem only have been dating or say meet a nice girl for a 1st time........
Hope u all have a good time in life and don't worry be happy...!!!!!! 
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Originally posted by seowqj:
really thx for ur advice.. i`ll consider deeply abt it..
1st of all u should try to accept that u are not confident enough and sincerely tell them that u are the right guy for her....
yes i should say i`m really not confident of myself..
everytime i see her my mind`s a mess..
cant tink stright..
anyway i also dunno she came back into my life for wat??
maybe to be plain platonic frens??
i tell her stright tt i not suitable for her and stuff like tt seems outta pt..
2nd the gals are not ready for the relationship is because of their lack of confident to love a guy who are really good.They thought that the relationship will be easily break up coz they already have the exp and background..they too have the experince of rejection from other ppl .
They scare that if they accept ur love, u will be like the other realtionship they have broke which make them more painful..
they too scare to lose a nice relationship since they can maintain it like this for so long..
my frens came up w that possibility too..
don u tink think that bein juz normal frens haf a higher possibility of losin each other?
eg if i ever ever get a gf.. then i`ll be gone for her..
anyway i don tink it`s possible.. so no pt..
this kinda r/s is maintained at the cost of my heartache.. u tink its rather fair for me??
So u need to proof to them that u can be urself and make the relationship strong by telling to giving the love and not coward staying behind the door waiting for love...
plz enlighten me wat to do??
try not be afraid and think too much since god have a plan for every love ..
make sure that u love her becoz u really love her not that u have already use to the appearance in ur life..
look at the example of babyboy ,he can forget about her but when she appear again in his life everything will change back to normal..
i do really love her.. i do miss her in times when i on see her tooo.. juz that after seein her for the 1st time after a long seperation makes me yearn for her even more.. i`m really struck.. cant move forward nor backwards
Try not to affect urself with the love itself coz there is still a lot of things u can do to find new love or to maintain the relationship u hope to have..
Make ur life a life fill with not only love but also fun......
Ok last of all is that to chase a girl ,u must be what u are and not a coward who just wait ther to let it happen...and try to think from another person view so that u will know why they reject u ..
I think most ppl who have this problem only have been dating or say meet a nice girl for a 1st time........
Hope u all have a good time in life and don't worry be happy...!!!!!!
trying to forgo a past r/s is really hard.. i`ve tried my best.. i`m very dissapointed w myself..[/b] -
Hmm... we just contact over the phone.. though she wanted to meet me the last time but my niece was sick...
hmm....... we just didn't meet each other .... so rely on the handphone......as i am working
Maybe we are good good friends after all..... -
Nightyoung- I think the girl is 2-timing, u should forget her. If she is serious abt her bf, she shouldn't be seeing u & messaging u knowing how u feel abt. her. It looks like she is holding on to both guys & not fair to u. Stay away from her, don't let her use u as a substitute. My advice to all u guys going into army, don't go into a relationship right now. Do it after u finish your NS. Very few relationships started in sec. sch/JC can last. At this young age, the girls will not want to commit. Once in U, they will meet the older guys so u end up heartbroken. Don't waste time pining over her, there are many better ones out there
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[b[color=#444444]]You lesbian ah?Originally posted by nightyoung:The situation goes like this:
We went out together with a group of friends, at the eve of this new year to celebrate till dawn. It was the happiest day of the year.. of course.. haha.. First day of new year.. After for not seeing her for two days, I decided to let her know that I like her, although I know that at this moment I was not ready for any relationship..
She did ask me what to do.. so i suggest we see each other more often..
The second time I met her was that she told me she was sick that Monday Morning.. so I accompanied her to lunch and to Doc and send her home... Very nice job.
After that.. things were pretty smooth, we met each other more often and just plain sms/call every day if we didn't meet.
I did let her know that I like her in the form of letters and sms too.. Even told her i like her twice .. The first time.. was late 3am .. after telling her i ran off. Too shy. The other time was in the park. But she changed topic so i accommodate her.
...............................................
...............................................
...............................................blah blah blah
................................................blah blah blah
Right now, she said that I will be her good sister, good friend..haha???
I think i was like suffering from a curse or some sort..
It always takes me a lot of time to like a gal,, then every time when I want to carry out my plans, she's somebody else.
Then I will continue to spend time holding back to any new chances of relationship for a long long time.. The previous one, I held back for two years before I can move on, although she's single now, we're still friends. Tha's all.
So gals out there, if you want to find your Mr Right, i can try to like you.. 2 years later.. and then .. tada... your Mr Right will come..haha.. jokes aside.
Haha... I want to laugh and cry ...smile and remember and forget
Any comments? 
[/[/color]b]
If so... please try to understand it takes time for another person of your same gender to accept you....
or are you so confused that its affecting your gender? -
Originally posted by edseeker31:
btw i am a guy, completed NS already.......hahahaha
[b[color=#444444]]You lesbian ah? [/[/color]b]
[b]
If so... please try to understand it takes time for another person of your same gender to accept you....
or are you so confused that its affecting your gender?[/b]
Yeah.. she called me today.. most of the time she will call me and ask if i am nearby so that we can meet... help her carry things etc...
Hmm.. i am so happy to hear from her again but the enthu was lost... maybe she is the good good gal -> and its just me -
she called me yesterday and she say that she going to hong kong and ask me if i would send her off.. its a 6.30am plane tomorrow..
haha.. tomorrow i have to get up early and see her before she leaves....
just can't to miss out..anyway, its a long time since we meet.. so tomorrow just give her a surprise!! but don't know whether her boyfriend will do the same..... because she said if she need me to send her off, she will sms me... what an answer i thought.....
so we'll see tomorrow then -
Originally posted by nightyoung:she called me yesterday and she say that she going to hong kong and ask me if i would send her off.. its a 6.30am plane tomorrow..
haha.. tomorrow i have to get up early and see her before she leaves....
just can't to miss out..anyway, its a long time since we meet.. so tomorrow just give her a surprise!! but don't know whether her boyfriend will do the same..... because she said if she need me to send her off, she will sms me... what an answer i thought.....
so we'll see tomorrow then
OMG!! I overslept!! i heard the alarm clock rings ..... but still can't wake up -
so did u still make it to see her off??