guys can't just be friends?
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it's perfectly normal for guy to like a gal if they are close & find their character match(a gal may like a gay guy too).
try to get ureslf attached and mix with attached guys.....this may solve ur prob. best is u know his gf and he know ur bf.
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If i'm not wrong, then ur character should fall under the following categoriesOriginally posted by starblue:guys don't really know how to maintain a platonic friendship with girls huh?? i got quite a few guy friends last time. but then at some point or another, they turn to like me more than a friend. i swear i didn't do anything to mislead them!!! and i made sure they know clearly that they are just friends to me.. but why still liddat ah?? made me dun dare to face them again...
how come guys cannot be just friends with you ah???
(1) Cheerful/friendly/spontaneous/outgoing
(2) Like to hang out with guy friends because of the male side of your character
You did not mislead ur friends.. just that u have geniunely touched their hearts, and they feel that u are really a suitable candidate as a gf. Guess most guys prefer girls who are spontaneous and outgoing, rather than those quiet, shy and demure types.
What i think you should do.. if those guys are definitely not your cup of tea, just let them know how u feel and dont give them any false hope of future development. If they understand, you can still be good friends or even close friends. For those who still persist on or totally cuts off the friendship, either they have already fallen too deep for u already or they are not mature enough, so no point trying to maintain a 'normal' friendship with them.
If there are some guys who does fit your bill but somehow u have reserves for them or the timing is not right, just politely reject them and tell them you would prefer to remain as frns for the time being.. then give urself more time to access their character, and whether or not they are suitable to be ur bf. Give urself and the other party another chance.
Hope that helps. -
no worries on that count, becoz im lesbian.Originally posted by kaobeikaobu:ahh....raging hormones.....
what if ur gay guys likes your bf one day?
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but of course, 'hon, but of course.Originally posted by starblue:er.. but sometimes i got tell them i like another guy also. still they can still turn out so funny... and HENG, i think there's truth in those line of yours.
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hmm.. kinda true... i grew up among guys, being the only girl in the family. i feel more at ease talking to guys than girls sometimes.. but they all know that of cos. these guys i'm talking about, they were my closer guy friends for like more than a year at least... how come guys can just switch from friends to someone they like one?? i know i can't, friends are just friends to me. it's really hard for me to see friends as anything more, and my guy friends know that perfectly. they know that the friendship might be sabotaged if they fell for me. but why still liddat???Originally posted by Cristiano@Red_Devils.com:If i'm not wrong, then ur character should fall under the following categories
(1) Cheerful/friendly/spontaneous/outgoing
(2) Like to hang out with guy friends because of the male side of your character
You did not mislead ur friends.. just that u have geniunely touched their hearts, and they feel that u are really a suitable candidate as a gf. Guess most guys prefer girls who are spontaneous and outgoing, rather than those quiet, shy and demure types. -
Originally posted by starblue:
[Harry and Sally on a trip to New York]
how come guys cannot be just friends with you ah???
Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: I guess not. -
That's becos ur male counterparts lack self-control.
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Cos most guys tends to zi zhuo tuo qing!!
Me last time oso like that one!!
But nowaday, know that gals just want to be friends, so ta la, the new me!! -
very simple..open ur legs, let them have sex with u, after 1 time, i guarantee, they will lose their curiousity & want u only as their good friend...
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I thought love grows from a friendship? Or do you believe in love at first sight?Originally posted by starblue:hmm.. kinda true... i grew up among guys, being the only girl in the family. i feel more at ease talking to guys than girls sometimes.. but they all know that of cos. these guys i'm talking about, they were my closer guy friends for like more than a year at least... how come guys can just switch from friends to someone they like one?? i know i can't, friends are just friends to me. it's really hard for me to see friends as anything more, and my guy friends know that perfectly. they know that the friendship might be sabotaged if they fell for me. but why still liddat???
Feelings are funny, sometimes they don't reconcile with your head and makes you do things that you regret later on. But it's also what makes you human in the first place.
Sometimes, people choose to take a leap of faith to pursue their happiness and risk whatever they have now and you can't really fault them for this right?
It's selfish for them to do this to you but at least it's better to be frank about it to you.
At the end of the day, if both sides are mature enough to handle the issue, I see no reason why the friendship (if you rejected the guy) can't be maintained or even be brought to a higher level now that romance is taken out of the equation completely... -
When it comes to this type of thing, very hard to control the feelings one.. when they fell for you, thats it, either they pluck up their courage to tell u the truth or keep in within their heart forever.. until one day u realise, how come this guy always seem to be there for me during times of need, or always doing those small little things to make me happy? Then u would realise that this guy is interested in you, and so its only a matter of time kinda thing.. u can't order them NOT to like you.Originally posted by starblue:hmm.. kinda true... i grew up among guys, being the only girl in the family. i feel more at ease talking to guys than girls sometimes.. but they all know that of cos. these guys i'm talking about, they were my closer guy friends for like more than a year at least... how come guys can just switch from friends to someone they like one?? i know i can't, friends are just friends to me. it's really hard for me to see friends as anything more, and my guy friends know that perfectly. they know that the friendship might be sabotaged if they fell for me. but why still liddat???
And u may want to think of it this way. For the guys who told u abt their feelings for u, the fact that they are willing to risk foiling the friendship between the 2 of u, just goes to show how much they are willing to prepare to sarcrifice just to be with you... of cos u may also think of it in another way that the guy dont cherish the friendship at all, so its up to you to judge the guy's character during the 1yr plus friendship that you had, what kind of person he is. -
sigh... don't know what guys are thinking lah... i only know it's hard for me to maintain a friendship with a guy who likes me when i don't reciprocate the feelings. i'd inevitably feel i'm making use of their feelings for me to ask them favours. sigh...
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So its just something within ur heart that u feel not good by asking them favours, or u're worried other people may think this way?Originally posted by starblue:sigh... don't know what guys are thinking lah... i only know it's hard for me to maintain a friendship with a guy who likes me when i don't reciprocate the feelings. i'd inevitably feel i'm making use of their feelings for me to ask them favours. sigh...
First thing first, if u want the guy to treat u like a normal friend, u have to do the same also.. if u have this type of thinking deep down inside, it means u are not prepared to treat them as normal frns anymore.. u agree with me? I mean, would u ask a small favour from a normal frn with so much hesitations?
Another thing is, guys are not stupid. They can tell which gals are making use of their soft spot to do things for them, and which are the gals who treat them sincerely as friends. Trust me. -
i think it's how i feel deep down, not how i scared people might think.... cos i can only treat them as friends. and afte things happen, i can't seem to see them the same way as before. cos then i'll get more sensitive about whether or not i'll hurt them more (after the rejection)....
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dunno leh, if i like a person i usually treat as a bro or sisOriginally posted by kaobeikaobu:u like ghost arh? must scare u then u like?
but if i like a girl is usually something surprising she do , yeah i like weird girls -
'Maturation' age...?Originally posted by starblue:guys don't really know how to maintain a platonic friendship with girls huh?? i got quite a few guy friends last time. but then at some point or another, they turn to like me more than a friend. i swear i didn't do anything to mislead them!!! and i made sure they know clearly that they are just friends to me.. but why still liddat ah?? made me dun dare to face them again...
how come guys cannot be just friends with you ah???
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i have a really good girl friend and i sort of like her.
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some guys mistakes friendship as love. this usually happens when a guy gets too comfortable with a girl. if the guy does not keep check, he would think that he is in love. of cos at the same time the girl must not lead him on. must keep telling him that u are not interested.
i myself have a few close female friends. before i knew and married my wife we would go out alot to shop, hang out, have dinner, fishing etc. but its purely friendship.(now still do just less often)
to strangers they may think that we are too close to be just friends but that just the way we are. they are attached and so am i but we just enjoy each others company.
i believe that this situation will happen to some girls too where they get too close to a guy and think they fall for a guy.
so i guess i will depends alot on the maturity in thinking of both parties. -
says who? i have quite a no. of girls de friends~ and we are just as pure as normal friends thatz all...maybe those that you have met is buaya lah~Originally posted by starblue:guys don't really know how to maintain a platonic friendship with girls huh?? i got quite a few guy friends last time. but then at some point or another, they turn to like me more than a friend. i swear i didn't do anything to mislead them!!! and i made sure they know clearly that they are just friends to me.. but why still liddat ah?? made me dun dare to face them again...
how come guys cannot be just friends with you ah??? no flamming pls~ -
Originally posted by dzylim:
It is a fortune to marry a woman who does not mind you going out with other women. She must trust you a lot. Treasure her for such women are rare.
i myself have a few close female friends. before i knew and married my wife we would go out alot to shop, hang out, have dinner, fishing etc. but its purely friendship.(now still do just less often)
to strangers they may think that we are too close to be just friends but that just the way we are. they are attached and so am i but we just enjoy each others company.
I take it you also give her the same level of trust as well when she goes out with other men who are just friends (to shop, hang out, have dinner, fishing etc.)? -
of cos i treasure her. else y i marry her? n yes i do allow her to go out with uer friends (guys or gals). in fact we mix very well with each other's friends.Originally posted by Tuatau:It is a fortune to marry a woman who does not mind you going out with other women. She must trust you a lot. Treasure her for such women are rare.
I take it you also give her the same level of trust as well when she goes out with other men who are just friends (to shop, hang out, have dinner, fishing etc.)?