Originally posted by primus_2006:
somebody pls help...
i really envy people with lots of friends, that's why i'm trying hard to change the introvert me. Many people consider me an introvert, but i don't think so, I think i'm in between introvert and extrovert as I can be quite 'high' sometimes.
Firstly, people consider me introvert because ppl consider my CCA as an introvert CCA too(symphonic band) and the things i like, such as classical music, perhaps, made me an introvert. I find that I fare pretty badly in terms of sports. I often dare not join in the basketball game with my friends because i never do well in that sport and I feel very shy to play with my circle of friends who are rather good in basketball. I believe some of ya might have the same experience too. i.e. you dare not do something which you're pretty bad at when you're with a group of pros. That's one reason why i think i'm often left out by that group of friends.
Also people often see me as a quiet person who doesn't talk much. I have been trying to talk more nowadays. But i think first impression really counts, when people first saw me as a quiet and inactive person, they tend to exclude me more often and now, even though I've change a bit, my friends are still not very 'close' to me compared to other people. Now I find it difficult to mix with most of my friends from different circles, perhaps because of their perception of me and hence the reluctance to call me out as I'm not considered a very 'fun' person to them. What I'm afraid is that if I suddenly change into a hyperactive person, they might think I'm mad. And you know how difficult it is to not be my usual self in front of them.
That's why I feel so lonely. Whenever I look at my friend's photos, I feel so jealous being left out. Some people say, 'just be yourself', but I just think that society and people just do not accept introverts.
I realised I've changed much since I came to JC compared to when I was in secondary school where ppl feel that I'm stranger to them. However, I still feel very left out because whenever my ex jc classmates and sometimes CCA friends go out, they often leave me out. I feel that I need to do more, but how?
Can someone give me some suggestion on how to change myself before I die of boredom and loneliness... I'm really sick, tired and stress...
hey dude, dun be stressed.........u reallie nid to build up some confidence!.....
u hav taken the first step by trying to talk more...if u can, y not try to learn some "crappy" or lame jokes dat can brighten up pple's day?....yeap......
as fer the sudden change, i tink ish alright actually........i got a fren, whom i know from JC, he was quite a quiet person initially when i first got to noe him...but after a few days he became completely different and talked so much and behaved so differently dat we couldnt believe dat dat is him!!!......
and as fer pple leaving u out for outings and stuff like dat, again, i tink u dun tink so much okay?.....dere are such a thing called "clique" and sometimes pple juz feel dat dey onli wan to go out with pple of their own "clique".....yeap......my advice fer u is dat u go n find a few friends (one or two) whom u tink can understand u......yeah build up ur friendship with dem and soon u will find dat pple tend to be more conerned abt u when u are good friends with dem........
and abt not joining basketball game because u felt shy, i tink u urself hav to change this.....sometimes, when majority if ur frenz like something, y not juz follow suit and do it?.....for myself i was in a class of onli 7 guys (including me) and the rest of the six of dem liked to play basketball......n i myself hated to play basketball..............so wad to do?....JUZ GO N PLAY LARH!!!.....i told myself i muz be receptive to new stuff and needed to try new things.....so i went to play.......in the end.....though my basketball skill not very good, however at the end of the day, not onli my friendship with dem has deepen, n also i hav learnt something new...though till now i still dun reallie like basketball, but den at least, i know how to play and wont feel left out..........
....surely pple wont judge u by ur basketball skills?....and different pple got different strength......n if u consider symphonic band as introvert cca, den wad do u tink if i tell u dat i joined one of the clubs and society in my sch?.......and dun forget, band has so manny pple if i nt wrong?......y not also make some friends from ur CCA who share the same interest as u??................
and lastly, urself.....u hav to be sincere in makin frenz......y nt, if hav a chance, do something fer the class (like buying some sweets for dem during valentine's day, which is over liao)......yeap....when pple start to thank you, nt onli u will feel a sense of satsifaction, however, pple also will change their view poiints of u.......
yesh, i believe juz be urself......but den if u reallie wanna change de these are my few advices fer u.........
