what a way to lose a friend...
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reached home last nite...caught up with a friend, and was told that even my unit CO and S1 attended the wake...(why is it called a wake, when we know that that is something the deceased will never do?)...and it was even more sad was the fact that his youngest son, who is ard 3 yrs old, still doesn't know what has happened...while the rest of the family is mourning, he was still playing ard...perhaps, that is better off for him...he will only realise that his papa is no longer ard when he grows older...and hopefully by then, he will feel less pain...Originally posted by honeymouse:Sorry to hear about your friend. You shouldn't need to have any regrets for not visiting your friend.... I believe your friend would understand your predicament.
Just enjoy your honeymoon and your married life (don't think your deceased friend would want you to be unhappy on your honeymoon because of him). Perhaps, when you get back from your honeymoon, try to check on your deceased friend's wife and see if there's anything you can help. She'll need lots of support during this time. I believe that's the best thing you can do for your friend.
Just be sensitive though, as she may want time and space to grieve alone.
Congratulations on your marriage! Enjoy your new life together.
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i seriously don't believe in anything like "jinx one's marriage". i think it's totally unacceptable when a gd friend is dying.
some people are strongly advised against visiting their dying grandparents or attending funerals if they have plans to get married too.
i know there are many different beliefs in this world but this is one that i can't accept myself....sighz. u rather let superstition get in the way of friendship, u r no friend and i wouldn't want any friends like that, i'm sorry. -
My condolences to your friend Alvin. Lets all learn a valuable lesson from this and cherish our loved ones all the more as life is like Pandora's box. Full of mysteries, surprises and unexpected events.
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u were barred by circumstances la...no choice...visit his grave with your platoon mates ba...
oh yea...how much ang bao money u collect for your wedding? -
to those who made him even more upset by your "helpful" comments
some good friends you guys are gonna be
its his wedding and if u were his friend who was in the hospital..you should let him carry on his wedding and give him best wishes
at least hes better than those people who know you are dying and don't give a F*** on how you are..at least he has the heart but no chance to go
threadstarter: i understand how u feel, if i were your friend..i would be happy for you..at least you got the intention to vist your friend -
So sad.. condolences..
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wads done cannot be undone. for chinese, there are lots of superstitious rules to follow, wad u done is understandable. different ple deal things differently. i think ur deceased fren will understand ur situation. no one feels good when somebody passed away esp he is ur good frenz. so just go pay ur respect for him lor. dun be too sad..
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^Originally posted by Cool-gal:wads done cannot be undone. for chinese, there are lots of superstitious rules to follow, wad u done is understandable. different ple deal things differently. i think ur deceased fren will understand ur situation. no one feels good when somebody passed away esp he is ur good frenz. so just go pay ur respect for him lor. dun be too sad..
yup yup. pay respect to yr fren first but tell ur wife bout it cause i'm sure she understands. but ur fren's death led affect ur lovey dovey mood. -
I think perhaps you will feel guilty about this a long time. Maybe you should see a medium and 'communicate' with your friend. Some people do that, like mothers who had miscarriaged, people who lost their loved ones, and hopefully your issues would be resolved.
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my condolences...
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i'm not really bothered about what others think...even my indian friends understood my situation, and also adviced me against visiting him...let them talk...it's not their marriage, so they probably wouldn't know how i feel...to be frank, before i met my wife, i was not bothered about superstitions...and even when we are together, arguments arise because of things like these...she has been brought up that way, while my family has not had an altar about 20 yrs ago, we do not pray to any deity or god...and we are not as pantang as her family...if my wife ian't that superstitious, i would've attended the funeral, but marriage is about respect, and if my wife feels uneasy about me attending it, so be it...i can always visit his grave once the "probation" period is over...Originally posted by Cool-gal:wads done cannot be undone. for chinese, there are lots of superstitious rules to follow, wad u done is understandable. different ple deal things differently. i think ur deceased fren will understand ur situation. no one feels good when somebody passed away esp he is ur good frenz. so just go pay ur respect for him lor. dun be too sad.. -
I also had a similar experience but it happened around 1yr+ ago..it is a friend from my bmt..few days ago, i was still communicating with him by sms..then one day another friend from bmt told me this particular friend dead..i didn't believe him in the first place..i just speak to him a few days ago..So i msg him, hoping for a reply..In the end, no reply..
After further confirmation, my friend really passed away..he killed himself by jumping from a blk near zouk..quite shocking to heard that..didn't know what happened to him...everything can be solved, don't have to resort to that..
hai..sad to see a friend passed away lor.. -
now regret also too late liao..
when u got the chance and time to see u dun want to see...
now talk so much who listens to you? -
since when did i mention that i regret not being able to see him?Originally posted by browniebaobao:now regret also too late liao..
when u got the chance and time to see u dun want to see...
now talk so much who listens to you?
as if my presence will bring him back to life...duh...
sometimes, we just have to get our priorities right...and i like to think that in my case, my marriage comes first...
just in case ppl like you think i've started this thread just because i'm guilty, i'm not...i just feel sad to lose a friend like that...and also make ppl realise that we should not take life for granted...some ppl would slash their wrist, swallow panadols, jump from buildings and yet survive...these ppl are stupid, but lucky...they have no respect for life, and no respect to their parents... -
We lost a lot of friends in our lives as we go along.
What matters is that they remains in our memories.