Will you mind if a girl you like...
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what if your girl doesnt smoke? and she inisits you quit smoking?
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Sorry, if she truly loves me, she should accept me for who I am. Similiar to what Christians like to preach, "God accepts you for who you are..."Originally posted by OO_OO_OO:what if your girl doesnt smoke? and she inisits you quit smoking? -
It depends on what's the reason for wanting the person to quit. The idea of 'forcing' is rather subjective in itself.Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:Seriously, if it is true love, then you shld accept the flaws of her as it is and you should also respect her decision to keep smoking as part of her lifestyle. Forcing her to quit is a selfish act and mostly, this kind of r/s will not stay strong when you find other flaws with her.
The person may want you to quit smoking for your own good rather than for themselves. And it's not limited to just smoking, it can be any particular habit or flaw or whatever.
To conclude that forcing a person to quit is selfish is a really wrong thing to say. A mother would say tell the child to stop smoking if she knows smoking is bad for health. So is the mom being selfish?
And you say such a relationship won't last? When it's built on care and concern? I think not, at least, the reason won't be due to lack of care. But if one party is nitpicking the other in a relationship, then the problem in the first place isn't with whether or not one of them is a smoker or not.
Quite simply, the person may want you to quit simply for your own good. -
Yes God loves you, whether smoker or non-smoker. But doesn't mean they have to like you smoking. Like I've mentioned, a person can love you but not want you to smoke. Simple as that.Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:Sorry, if she truly loves me, she should accept me for who I am. Similiar to what Christians like to preach, "God accepts you for who you are..." -
How can love with conditions attached be considered true love? It's more like a dealing.
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but if u truly love her, wont u want to change for her?Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:Sorry, if she truly loves me, she should accept me for who I am. Similiar to what Christians like to preach, "God accepts you for who you are..."
it works both ways
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Haiz, you don't get it. Like a mother who loves a child, the mother will love the child but not approve of the wrong things the child does.Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:How can love with conditions attached be considered true love? It's more like a dealing. -
You still don't get it. It is what you think good for her from your pov but from her own pov, forcing her to change is a selfish act in itself.Originally posted by SumOne:Haiz, you don't get it. Like a mother who loves a child, the mother will love the child but not approve of the wrong things the child does.
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But of course in some cases, the mother loves the child but also spoils the child. Whatever the child wants to do or wants to have, the mother gives, thus turning the child into a spoilt brat.
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Yes, good for her from my own pov if not whose? You can't expect me to advocate something if I don't believe in it. Unless her POV becomes my point of view, but even then, it's become MY pov, hasn't it?Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:You still don't get it. It is what you think good for her from your pov but from her own pov, forcing her to change is a selfish act in itself.
Perhaps we have different perceptions of 'forcing'. How about if you persuade? Coax? Like I said, 'force' is pretty subjective. You know like 'quan' vs 'bi'? -
Anyway, whether or not smoking is wrong is one thing. It doesn't change the intention of the heart by asking the person not to smoke. If you care for the person, you won't want the person to be doing the wrong thing right?
So it is possible to love a smoker, but not like the person smoking. Just like any bad habits. -
You are saying smoking is a wrong thing. To me, indulging in dogmatic religions like Christianity is a wrong thing.Originally posted by SumOne:Anyway, whether or not smoking is wrong is one thing. It doesn't change the intention of the heart by asking the person not to smoke. If you care for the person, you won't want the person to be doing the wrong thing right?
So it is possible to love a smoker, but not like the person smoking. Just like any bad habits. -
Ok, that's a different discussion altogether now. Both are in fact. Beisdes, you only THINK Christianity is dogmatic. I've said enough to you about this already, and you ignore what I try to tell you anyway.Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:You are saying smoking is a wrong thing. To me, indulging in dogmatic religions like Christianity is a wrong thing.
I've already said in an earlier post. Whether or not smoking is a bad or good thing, it is possible to love the person but not like certain habits the person does. Quite simply that. -
There's a chinese proverb " Ai Wu ji wu" which means to love a person, you have to accept all her good points and bad points. See, even the ancient Chinese understand love better than you.Originally posted by SumOne:Ok, that's a different discussion altogether now. Both are in fact. Beisdes, you only THINK Christianity is dogmatic. I've said enough to you about this already, and you ignore what I try to tell you anyway.
I've already said in an earlier post. Whether or not smoking is a bad or good thing, it is possible to love the person but not like certain habits the person does. Quite simply that.
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Besides, why are you so hell bent on promoting smoking as a good thing? Are you really that lonely during smoke breaks? If you ask me, the problem may not lie with whether or not you're a smoker, but your ability to socialise. You have shown yourself to be lacking in tact a number of times.Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:You are saying smoking is a wrong thing. To me, indulging in dogmatic religions like Christianity is a wrong thing.
I don't know you personally enough to conclude that is true in your case, but it is a possibility. -
Haiz, I think you are the one who doesn't get it. I understand this proverb much better than you think. You're just refusing to accept what I say. Also, end of the day, you just want to go back to the "smoking is ok" thing.Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:There's a chinese proverb " Ai Wu ji wu" which means to love a person, you have to accept all her good points and bad points. See, even the ancient Chinese understand love better than you.
If I changed the issue from smoking to being a cult member, I think your response would be different. -
Different issues of cos will have different responses.Originally posted by SumOne:Haiz, I think you are the one who doesn't get it. I understand this proverb much better than you think. You're just refusing to accept what I say. Also, end of the day, you just want to go back to the "smoking is ok" thing.
If I changed the issue from smoking to being a cult member, I think your response would be different.
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Haiz, I think you are the one who doesn't get it. I understand this proverb much better than you think. You're just refusing to accept what I say. Also, end of the day, you just want to go back to the "smoking is ok" thing.
If I changed the issue from smoking to being a cult member, I think your response would be different. -
End of the day, you just want to go back to the "smoking is ok" thing.
If I changed the issue from smoking to being a cult member, I think your response would be different.
It's all about you being accepted as a smoker isn't it? -
Hey, sumone, no need to argue with people who doesn't give an objective stand but rather remain on his own stand and not being open to a fair discussion here. Be wise, don't argue any more. I see no point in doing so because he will only stress that "smoking is good".
What more can we say to make him more open to our opinions? -
"Ai Wu ji wu". See, ancient chinese understand love better than you.Originally posted by NUS_Superst@r:Different issues of cos will have different responses. -
Actually, not really arguing with him. I know he'll never listen reason anyway.Originally posted by -[0]-:Hey, sumone, no need to argue with people who doesn't give an objective stand but rather remain on his own stand and not being open to a fair discussion here. Be wise, don't argue any more. I see no point in doing so because he will only stress that "smoking is good".
What more can we say to make him more open to our opinions?
But his responses are..... amusing. Can't help laughing sometimes. -
Ok la, shall help the TS start another topic on smoking. A bit sian but really think the topic more relevant to the TS.
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This won't happen coz I won't like girls who smoke in the first place.
But if a girl's a non-smoker when I started liking but becomes a smoker subsequently, my liking for that girl will naturally be murdered.........
Exception
She "smokes" my life cigar (Ahem!)