after marriage.. stay where...

• spycampers

  11 Dec 06, 09:15

  hmm... recently have lot of problem with my wife to be when come to select which area to stay at.
  
  she want to stay in geylang area..
  which is quite ex..
  $200+k for a resale 3 rooms flat.
  $300+k for a resale 4 rooms
  
  i earn only about $2700 per months..
  and she not working at all...
  i told her is ex. and which $200k.. i can buy a well renovated 4 rooms in some other area.
  but the reason she give..
  is she want stay near parents.
  as near as possible.
  so that next time baby come on.
  her parent can help her look after.
  and she even eye on a flat on the same storey and just round a corner from
  her parent..
  less than 50 steps away..
  
  now become all things is what she want..
  i got no said in this flat thing..
  
  so guy what u think?
  stay near her parents
  or stay in other area
• mr_sotong

  11 Dec 06, 09:20

  rent a room from her parents loh.. so easy..
• leo-kun

  11 Dec 06, 09:20

  must sit down and discuss with your wife...is she the only daugther?? if so i think she can have her way but will she have plans to work in future??
  i guess you also want to stay near your parents right??
• Illegal Operation

  11 Dec 06, 09:45

  I think you need to decide whose parents need the kid more later. Say, if she already has a few siblings who are staying around her parents and your parents have none, then she should stay near your parents.
  
  Its only a matter of time that parents will get too old and its time to look after them. So practically speaking, every parent should have a kid nearby, and parents who are unable to take care of themselves should have a kid staying with them.
• elindra

  11 Dec 06, 09:47

  Maybe instead of telling her that it is expensive, show her the sums that you cannot afford it
• stupidissmart

  11 Dec 06, 09:49

  tat is a pretty good advise... if she want to stay near her parents and want a more ex HDB, she have to compromise and come out to work. Otherwise the breadwinner will have the final call on the things to buy.
• Illegal Operation

  11 Dec 06, 09:51

  Marriage preparation is always a time of quarrels. Between the couple, between the couple are their parents and between parents of both sides.
  
  I learnt that when practicality meets tradition, that's when all hell breaks loose. Listen to what she has to say, but always remember that all the choices you make now, such as the location of the flat, the amount of money u spend etc, the amount of compromise both of you make, have an impact on you later.
• missqi

  11 Dec 06, 09:52

  why dont u stay with her parents first?
  then save up.
• Illegal Operation

  11 Dec 06, 09:57

  Originally posted by stupidissmart:

  tat is a pretty good advise... if she want to stay near her parents and want a more ex HDB, she have to compromise and come out to work. Otherwise the breadwinner will have the final call on the things to buy.

  To me, its important that both the husband and wife works. Then both can contribute to the family expenses. Both can have their own lives. Both can have extra money to spend on themselves without depending on the other. Couples don't see each other so often, it increases the longingness.
  
  People becomes quite cranky after staying at home for too long. The mind starts wondering and thinking funny things. Its scary...
• Illegal Operation

  11 Dec 06, 09:59

  Originally posted by missqi:

  why dont u stay with her parents first?
  then save up.

  Sometimes go in already very hard to come out....
• missqi

  11 Dec 06, 10:01

  Originally posted by Illegal Operation:

  Sometimes go in already very hard to come out....

  good.
  save even more money.
  
• leo-kun

  11 Dec 06, 10:02

  Originally posted by missqi:

  good.
  save even more money.
  

  put yourself in his shoes as a man who is staying at in law place ...
• Illegal Operation

  11 Dec 06, 10:02

  Originally posted by missqi:

  good.
  save even more money.
  

  May hurt the guy's parents.
• elindra

  11 Dec 06, 10:02

  Originally posted by Illegal Operation:

  Sometimes go in already very hard to come out....

  You make it sound like jail
  
  
• Illegal Operation

  11 Dec 06, 10:07

  Originally posted by elindra:

  You make it sound like jail
  
  

  Yes, when you come out, remember not to look back. When you reach your home, use pomelo leaves to bath. And must step across a pail of fire.
• dragg

  11 Dec 06, 10:07

  Originally posted by spycampers:

  hmm... recently have lot of problem with my wife to be when come to select which area to stay at.
  
  she want to stay in geylang area..
  which is quite ex..
  $200+k for a resale 3 rooms flat.
  $300+k for a resale 4 rooms
  
  i earn only about $2700 per months..
  and she not working at all...
  i told her is ex. and which $200k.. i can buy a well renovated 4 rooms in some other area.
  but the reason she give..
  is she want stay near parents.
  as near as possible.
  so that next time baby come on.
  her parent can help her look after.
  and she even eye on a flat on the same storey and just round a corner from
  her parent..
  less than 50 steps away..
  
  now become all things is what she want..
  i got no said in this flat thing..
  
  so guy what u think?
  stay near her parents
  or stay in other area

  with a salary of 2700 you will have more than enough cpf to pay for a 200k 3-rm flat.
  
  i think she is right in wanting to stay near her parents. if you eventually have a baby having your in-laws look after the baby will save you a lot of money and worries.
  
  it is worth considering.
  
  
• elindra

  11 Dec 06, 10:14

  Originally posted by Illegal Operation:

  Yes, when you come out, remember not to look back. When you reach your home, use pomelo leaves to bath. And must step across a pail of fire.

  
  You're making me choke on my coffee
  
  Anyway there are pros and cons when living with parents
  
  For me, I like my privacy.
  
  I guess they will have to decide what they really want and their financial health and reaching a compromise.
• blu_sky

  11 Dec 06, 10:16

  Originally posted by spycampers:

  hmm... recently have lot of problem with my wife to be when come to select which area to stay at.
  
  she want to stay in geylang area..
  which is quite ex..
  $200+k for a resale 3 rooms flat.
  $300+k for a resale 4 rooms
  
  i earn only about $2700 per months..
  and she not working at all...
  i told her is ex. and which $200k.. i can buy a well renovated 4 rooms in some other area.
  but the reason she give..
  is she want stay near parents.
  as near as possible.
  so that next time baby come on.
  her parent can help her look after.
  and she even eye on a flat on the same storey and just round a corner from
  her parent..
  less than 50 steps away..
  
  now become all things is what she want..
  i got no said in this flat thing..
  
  so guy what u think?
  stay near her parents
  or stay in other area

  One very important thing is affordability. Do not over-commit, or be too stretched. This is a common mistake many young people make. Paying a flat over 20-30 years is a long time, i am sure you do not want to live under that kind of stress for the rest of your life. I do not know 2700 can afford how much loan repayment a month, you have to work out your sums.
  
  Plus, when the baby comes, your expenses will increase again, so, dont be too stretched on your finance.
• kaobeikaobu

  11 Dec 06, 10:24

  y is wife not workin at all?
• buses_galore

  11 Dec 06, 10:30

  Be a man and stand firm in your decision not hers...woman are mostly mone minded after arriage 1 day divorce to get money only...
• Xcert

  11 Dec 06, 10:30

  Originally posted by spycampers:

  hmm... recently have lot of problem with my wife to be when come to select which area to stay at.

  her parents willing to help U take care of baby?Have to sit down and talk to them...cannot assume they will be willing.
  
  I think stay near parents...have govt subsidy...dunno applicable for resale or not...U can call HDB and check it out.
  
  if really cannot...then have to consider looking at other places.
• buses_galore

  11 Dec 06, 10:34

  hahaha...if she wants to stay near her parents...than she has to work...(her parents can take care of the kid)...but if she is not working no matter where you stay(your wifr can take care of the kid)....
  
  She simply wants things her way...better off not marrying...this type of gay woman...
• LinYu

  11 Dec 06, 10:38

  should have sorted all these out earlier.
  
• NewAge

  11 Dec 06, 10:49

  Stay with her parents then when they die yr wife will get the house.
• mayday80

  11 Dec 06, 10:57

  $2700 total take home income is really not a lot if you are going for a baby right after the house. Do think carefully.