can love exist if people can only hold hands..

• january

  11 Jan 07, 16:16

  i dun think so.. what about you guys?
  
  what does this tell us if love cannot exist if people can only hold hands?
  
  i talking about love between a guy and girl.
• browniebaobao

  11 Jan 07, 16:18

  from ur question, do u think that there will only be love if there's lust?
• january

  11 Jan 07, 16:19

  ya i think lust is important , necessary condition for love to maintain
• browniebaobao

  11 Jan 07, 16:21

  so u mean, a man must lust for a woman before he can love her?
  
  so if he no longer lust for her, it also means bye bye liao?
• aku1b0d0

  11 Jan 07, 16:24

  then fuck you. if you have to kiss/bang your girlfren everyday to love her, then you deserve to die.
• WadeFulp

  11 Jan 07, 16:25

  Yeah , Dont need to really do that.
• january

  11 Jan 07, 16:26

  i mean with out physical contact, love cannot be maintained...
• aku1b0d0

  11 Jan 07, 16:28

  Originally posted by january:

  i mean with out physical contact, love cannot be maintained...

  then how do the couples who have to go overseas for years to further their education maintain their relationship?
  
  s.o.b.
• freakass

  11 Jan 07, 16:29

  brownie... u really believe that can be love without lust? There can be lust without love.... but love always comes with certain level of lust... At least tht's the case for men... Tht's what make us wanna be intimate with our partners... If there's love involved, I dont see why there cannot be lust...
  
  And if you wanna say that your bf has got absolutely no lust for you... only 100% love... then i think you'll be in trouble because he is not turned on by you at all... how to go into marriage like that?
  
  If you are referring to those kind of love between old couples... so old liao and they are still loving each other... I tell you ah... tht's strictly not love.... it's companionship and kinship....
• Cystaire

  11 Jan 07, 16:31

  Originally posted by freakass:

  brownie... u really believe that can be love without lust? There can be lust without love.... but love always comes with certain level of lust... At least tht's the case for men... Tht's what make us wanna be intimate with our partners... If there's love involved, I dont see why there cannot be lust...
  
  And if you wanna say that your bf has got absolutely no lust for you... only 100% love... then i think you'll be in trouble because he is not turned on by you at all... how to go into marriage like that?
  
  If you are referring to those kind of love between old couples... so old liao and they are still loving each other... I tell you ah... tht's strictly not love.... it's companionship and kinship....

  X2
• freakass

  11 Jan 07, 16:31

  Originally posted by aku1b0d0:

  then how do the couples who have to go overseas for years to further their education maintain their relationship?
  
  s.o.b.

  Exactly... most of such relationships dont last.... for this kind of case, let's not even talk about lust... there isnt enough proper interaction between the two parties!
• browniebaobao

  11 Jan 07, 16:40

  Originally posted by freakass:

  brownie... u really believe that can be love without lust? There can be lust without love.... but love always comes with certain level of lust... At least tht's the case for men... Tht's what make us wanna be intimate with our partners... If there's love involved, I dont see why there cannot be lust...
  
  And if you wanna say that your bf has got absolutely no lust for you... only 100% love... then i think you'll be in trouble because he is not turned on by you at all... how to go into marriage like that?
  
  If you are referring to those kind of love between old couples... so old liao and they are still loving each other... I tell you ah... tht's strictly not love.... it's companionship and kinship....

  i haven even comment on it.
  
  was juz asking threadstarter.
  
  y are u assuming?
• browniebaobao

  11 Jan 07, 16:45

  i juz wana see more opinions from the guys.
  
  juz read the ladder theory few days ago, and i remember it said that men only go for women that they lust for..
  
  to me, a r/s should have more than juz holdings hands..
  
  but where is the limit? it's up to individual lor..
  
  i'm sure majority of guys will want to go all the way.
  
  so wat keeps a r/s going? is that love or lust to you, threadstarter?
  
  do u stay in a r/s bcos of love or lust?
  
  think over it.
• aku1b0d0

  11 Jan 07, 16:48

  Originally posted by freakass:

  Exactly... most of such relationships dont last.... for this kind of case, let's not even talk about lust... there isnt enough proper interaction between the two parties!

  my uncle and aunt get married right after he finished his studies. that means they maintain at least a 3 yr relationship without seeing each other for 3 yrs. and in the end, they get married and still happy with each other~
• Cystaire

  11 Jan 07, 16:48

  Originally posted by browniebaobao:

  i juz wana see more opinions from the guys.
  
  juz read the ladder theory few days ago, and i remember it said that men only go for women that they lust for..
  
  to me, a r/s should have more than juz holdings hands..
  
  but where is the limit? it's up to individual lor..
  
  i'm sure majority of guys will want to go all the way.
  
  so wat keeps a r/s going? is that love or lust to you, threadstarter?
  
  do u stay in a r/s bcos of love or lust?
  
  think over it.

  I like the way everyone is separating love and lust as if they are mutually exclusive categories.
  
  Where love is made to sound more divine and self-less, where lust has a negative rap, more animal and selfish and dirty.
  
  Seems so... Victorian.
• january

  11 Jan 07, 16:49

  Originally posted by aku1b0d0:

  then how do the couples who have to go overseas for years to further their education maintain their relationship?
  
  s.o.b.

  that is because they will meet each other again one day
  and when they meet, they can develop physical relationship...
  they wait for each other because they know they will reunite someday...
  for many others... overseas is a great factor for end of relationship....
• dahliamorie

  11 Jan 07, 16:52

  i agree with bbb. i personally hate rs to be built on physical intimacy.
• aku1b0d0

  11 Jan 07, 16:53

  Originally posted by Cystaire:

  I like the way everyone is separating love and lust as if they are mutually exclusive categories.
  
  Where love is made to sound more divine and self-less, where lust has a negative rap, more animal and selfish and dirty.
  
  Seems so... Victorian.

  just to tell you, in my opinion, if there's love, there's always a little bit of lust. but i don't believe love is all about lust. the way ts talked abt this matter makes it sound like if there's no lust = no love. there's an old thread abt a lady who loves his husband but detests sex. she even hates the child that she gave born to just because she detests sex.
• january

  11 Jan 07, 16:54

  if hold hand only, no hugging, kissing, close contact, i doubt the couple can last....
  
  my belief that physical contact is a important thing but not everything for love to maintain
• Cystaire

  11 Jan 07, 16:56

  Originally posted by dahliamorie:

  i agree with bbb. i personally hate rs to be built on physical intimacy.

  I guess love is an entirely subjective experience.
  
  In an extreme scenario, two people who have no physical contact at all (say pen-pal or online chat) can claim to love each other.
  
  In the other extreme, two people can boink each other several times a day and claim to say that they are just friends.
• january

  11 Jan 07, 16:57

  Originally posted by aku1b0d0:

  just to tell you, in my opinion, if there's love, there's always a little bit of lust. but i don't believe love is all about lust. the way ts talked abt this matter makes it sound like if there's no lust = no love. there's an old thread abt a lady who loves his husband but detests sex. she even hates the child that she gave born to just because she detests sex.

  that is abnormal case....
  if u study abnormal psychology you will know....
  
  some people are even asexual in the world .... they dislike having sex and do not intend to do it....
  
  RIPLEY BELIEVES IT OR NOT
• Cystaire

  11 Jan 07, 16:58

  Originally posted by aku1b0d0:

  just to tell you, in my opinion, if there's love, there's always a little bit of lust. but i don't believe love is all about lust. the way ts talked abt this matter makes it sound like if there's no lust = no love. there's an old thread abt a lady who loves his husband but detests sex. she even hates the child that she gave born to just because she detests sex.

  Yes we are talking about bizarre people.
  
  To me everyone is bizarre, including me.
• january

  11 Jan 07, 16:59

  Originally posted by Cystaire:

  I guess love is an entirely subjective experience.
  
  In an extreme scenario, two people who have no physical contact at all (say pen-pal or online chat) can claim to love each other.
  
  In the other extreme, two people can boink each other several times a day and claim to say that they are just friends.

  for a short while like few days or weeks maybe they can fall in love....
  they fall in love because in their mind they are thinking about a possible meetup and furthering of relationship
  
  but if they just remain as pen pal and never meet
  do you think they will still fall in love by writing to each other only all the time
• aku1b0d0

  11 Jan 07, 17:00

  Originally posted by Cystaire:

  Yes we are talking about bizarre people.
  
  To me everyone is bizarre, including me.

  another vote for "without physical contacts, still can love mah" !!!
• browniebaobao

  11 Jan 07, 17:00

  not selfless vs dirty or watever..
  
  when there's love, there will be lust.
  
  but when there's lust, will there be love?