Reasons to not attend a colleague wedding.
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Yah, i hate to part my money that way, thats why im calling for help..Originally posted by mystee:lucky lor... that time when i was working.. worst... one year, 5 bombs.. all hardly know each other.. but still i gave hongbaos... heart pain
I rather spend this money with good friends on chill out.. I think i was
invited to fill the tables lor.. Sianz..
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Yah, i hate to part my money that way, thats why im calling for help..Originally posted by mystee:lucky lor... that time when i was working.. worst... one year, 5 bombs.. all hardly know each other.. but still i gave hongbaos... heart pain
I rather spend this money with good friends on chill out.. I think i was
invited to fill the tables lor.. Sianz.. -
say u have stomach flu and u dont want to stink up the whole place xD
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maybe u can say that u have impt family commitment, or ur relative sick, or ur aunty's child sick, thn she busy
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Whether you go or not you knoe you still have to 'pao' red packet right?Originally posted by Maurince:Hey peeps, i need advise to give for not attending a colleague wedding..
As my relation with this colleague is not so close, cause im mostly at site
and she is from sales.. So we hardly interact.. Somemore this month abit
tight with my cashflow, got a buddy wedding coming up and going for a
diving vacation that month too.. Pls kindly advise what is the best way
to reject the invitation.. Thks..
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so whether you go anot, you'll have to part with your money.
so why dont you just go??
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If u take her as ur colleague and not enemy den kindly please go since she had the heart to invite u to her all-important day.
U think she stupid meh? No matter how beautiful ur excuse is, she will noe its an excuse tat u are not giving her face, and u will feel awkward in the end also for a long while when seeing her at work. Furthermore its only $80, not $8000. $80 to show ur appreciation and well wishes isn't expensive at all. Other people in ur workplace, especially people in the sales side will start to have opinions about u if u dun go anyway. U can always spend less next month to make up for the losses.
Dun be so self-centered and selfish la. The way u tell us about her, about she is "from sales and u are on site" and "didn't interact much with her anyway" U just dun want to spend money on something tat u dun see any benefits right? Sometimes u have to give without expecting anything in return, even though she is useless to u and is less likely to help u anywhere. Its the thought tat counts. But if u still choose to be so materialistic den i have nothing to say.
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say u not free that day cos need to chiong maplestory and get zakum helm that day.
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Heart? Im not so sure.. I mention i feel like im there to fill up table nia..Originally posted by butterNsugar:If u take her as ur colleague and not enemy den kindly please go since she had the heart to invite u to her all-important day.
U think she stupid meh? No matter how beautiful ur excuse is, she will noe its an excuse tat u are not giving her face, and u will feel awkward in the end also for a long while when seeing her at work. Furthermore its only $80, not $8000. $80 to show ur appreciation and well wishes isn't expensive at all. Other people in ur workplace, especially people in the sales side will start to have opinions about u if u dun go anyway. U can always spend less next month to make up for the losses.
Dun be so self-centered and selfish la. The way u tell us about her, about she is "from sales and u are on site" and "didn't interact much with her anyway" U just dun want to spend money on something tat u dun see any benefits right? Sometimes u have to give without expecting anything in return, even though she is useless to u and is less likely to help u anywhere. Its the thought tat counts. But if u still choose to be so materialistic den i have nothing to say.
$80 is not much.. True, but i think i have better way of spending it..
Ermm, even i attend the dinner liew she wun be there to only interact with me
only lor..
Materialistic? Yes, i tink i am.. But i dont tink its the matter of materialistic..
Imagine your janitor invite you to her son's wedding.. Would you attend?
I know that is abit far off but im trying to say is i need a convincing reason to
reject her offer nia.. -
You just supported butternsugar's point about going only when there's benefit.Originally posted by Maurince:Heart? Im not so sure.. I mention i feel like im there to fill up table nia..
$80 is not much.. True, but i think i have better way of spending it..
Ermm, even i attend the dinner liew she wun be there to only interact with me
only lor..
Materialistic? Yes, i tink i am.. But i dont tink its the matter of materialistic..
Imagine your janitor invite you to her son's wedding.. Would you attend?
I know that is abit far off but im trying to say is i need a convincing reason to
reject her offer nia..
Imagine today you're getting married. You invite a normal friend. He/She say what u said above. How will you feel?
On your point about the janitor, you're just plain looking down on them, to put them down in this way. Again it second butterNsugar's point. You will only go if there's benefit to yourself.
If today your CEO invite u to his wedding, will u attend? -
She has her right to invite you. You have your right to reject her invite.
Just say you won't be able to make it that day coz you got something on.
No need angpow or what lah. If you must, just give her a congratulatory card.
Why be so troubled over such superficial formalities? -
Hmm, did he/her mention anything about benefit? Maybe its not so much about benefit.. Its that i rather she invite a willing guest..Originally posted by airgrinder:You just supported butternsugar's point about going only when there's benefit.
Imagine today you're getting married. You invite a normal friend. He/She say what u said above. How will you feel?
On your point about the janitor, you're just plain looking down on them, to put them down in this way. Again it second butterNsugar's point. You will only go if there's benefit to yourself.
If today your CEO invite u to his wedding, will u attend?
Ermm, im not so particular i feel.. Im not like those olden days people, any how invite people.. Have to ask everyone in the kampong to participate.. I will much rather invite people who are really close.. The atmosphere would be much better i feel..
Ermm, i did not say i look down on janitor.. Its a decent job, i still respect them.. Im juz stating an example.. I wana juz say how unrelated i am with her..
Of coz lah.. Its not that im practical, it is that this wan muz gif face mah.. If not how the CEO face put where? All the staff's table empty empty one.. After come back office throw tantrum how? Everyone suffer..
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You dont have to give any reasons. They are your private affairs.
RSVP nicely. Just say you have another commitment on her wedding nite and cannot attend.
If doing by phone, pick a time when you think she might be free to pick up a pen to cross you off her guest list.
And wish her nicely that she enjoys her wedding and wish her well for her marriage life can liao.
Dont need to yakatty yak with her on the phone. -
what else do u expect from fiOriginally posted by Maurince:piangz, sad to see this advice from a senior forumite..
i kinda tell her i got a study group that day, but its like not
giving her face lor.. As studies can be postphone mah.. Haiz..
said that u forgot that day is yr parent's wedding anniversary
if u don't want to lie, tell her u can't make it cos u r broke lah
telling the truth is always the best policy
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I applaud the generosity and kind-heartedness in some of you.
When my son got married last year, lots of invites were sent out to his former and present colleagues, friends and relatives. There were invites sent out by my hubby and me also.
Supposedly close friends and relatives didn't even bother to reply to the RSVP and when calls were made to them, their excuses were 'Sorry, I can't make it, I have another commitment on that day'; "Aiyah! I will be out of town leh!"; 'Pai seh leh, my father-in-law is sick so our family members gotto take turns taking care of him. Your wedding falls on my shift wor." There were so many excuses but that didn't bother us as all we wanted to know was the total head count.
Even on the wedding day, some guests who confirmed their attendance also did not turn up.
Talking about hong baos or gifts - most of those who said they could not make it did not give any hong bao. Then again, someone who turned up for the wedding gave $2 hong bao. There was even a gift of a desk organizer set (writing pad and pen)!
However, my son came up with a NUMBERED guest list so whoever handed the hong bao or gift at the reception desk will have their corresponding number to their name discreetly written down on the hong bao or gift. In that way who gave what was duly noted.
TS, if you are tight, you don't really have to give a hong bao to your colleague. A gift will do. It's the thought that counts.
Another thing is, isn't it the usual practice for office colleagues to POOL their funds to buy a gift for a fellow colleague's wedding or birthday? -
No. Its not a usual practise nor was it a necessity to provide gifts even if you are not-attending a dinner function.Originally posted by MamaRos:Another thing is, isn't it the usual practice for office colleagues to POOL their funds to buy a gift for a fellow colleague's wedding or birthday?
The Important thing is the RSVP, so the couple can better plan their wedding tables so as not to waste space and food.
Giving funds or gifts is a matter of goodwill.
This is not a affair to solicit for funds or gifts. Its a celebration of a union of 2 people. Not to demand for monies from outsiders who frankly dont even know you or the 2 newly weds well enough.
But if we are discussing the event in the western practise. Gifts are best purchased from the Bridal Registry with pooled funds from good friends, collegues or family members.
Any group can pool their funds and buy the bridal couple a set of un-use-able ugly cutlery set & sofa set. But its the practical portion of those gifts that you might have to consider.
Like buying 6 barrels of beer for the couple when the bridal couple are allergic to alcohol?