Originally posted by kamiyo:
Im a jc student now and because i was from a girls' school in secondary, most of my friends didnt have boyfriends then. Now that we have entered jc, quite a few of my friends are very obsessed with "hooking up" (as they call it) with a guy. seriously, im very confused by it. because i only see that they want to show off the guys and to prove that they are attractive. i dont get why they are doing that.
i asked my other friends why i dont get it and they told me im just too sha da jie to get it. argh. pls help me!!! *cries* im very troubled by it and i dont know why.
Well... This is my take on why young gals 'need' boyfriends:
You have illustrated out 1 very important point

show off.
Others include peer pressure, normality, raging hormones, and partly the fact many of them came from an 'all gal's school' setting before and never interact much with guys so it seduce the human curiousity in it. Imagine you stayed in the kampung for 15 years then you moved to the city. Naturally you will want to explore and taste city life coz you never experienced it before.
In this situation, having a r/s with a guy is quite normal. The only thing is understanding WHY you want to enter into an r/s in the 1st place. If its for fun or having the experience of it or just to show off, I can only say good luck to them to work the r/s out because there will come a situation where their r/s will be tested. Many times if the r/s is not strong in foundation, they break up.
Imagine all the lovey dovey situations of being in a r/s with someone. Your 1st kiss. 1st hug. 1st memory into some place with him/her. It even leads to the possibility of giving your chastity to that person. Then after that you 2 have problems. You 2 could not come to terms and break up. All the hurt, lingering memories stinging your heart. The length of time to get over it.
That is quite the norm. Imagine you are one of those who are more sentimental and more aware of the understanding of being in a r/s with a person: You broke up before after giving your 1st time. Some years later you met another person. This person gives you light to your world. This person can let you see the world in a different colour. You fell in love... again. The only thing is, you have given your 1st love to a person before. You have given your '100%' to that person before. How can you give the same '100%' to this new person? How can you come to terms with yourself you cannot give your '1st time' to this person anymore because you have already gave it to another?
Best part is: when you are getting married. You walk down the aisle, looking at your husband-to-be/wife-to-be. You look at him/her in the eyes. Now matter how the ceremony goes and how it say of 'giving your full love to each other and blah blah blah', you know you cannot give all of your love to that person, because you have given a part of your love to someone before. You have given another part to another. You have given YET another part to another!. You can only give what is left to the husband/wife.
True, being in a r/s before gave you the experience to be able to love better and commit even more in your next r/s. You know your stand and how to go about it even better. How to make the r/s work. However, you still have to battle with your inner self of letting the past r/s go and accepting a new chapter in your life. If you think you did. Think again.
Of course there is a rarity: there are couples who met each other at your age and had a blissful time together and plans for marrriage and beyond. They even went through that and made a happy family. It is a rarity though.
How many of you can do that?