Meaning of Gifts?
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Today got into a heated arguement with a fren... over our interpretation of the meaning of gift giving...
Few months ago, I received a relatively expensive birthday"gift" from a fren... a car GPS because I just passed my driving. I was sceptical of it, as it costs $200. I refused it initially but she insisted... I tried withdrawing $100 from ATM and try to "offset" her cost. But still, she insisted I take it...
To show my gratitude, I treated her to a nice meal at a fancy restaurant. I also made it a point to drive her around whenever I rented a car.
Fast forward to today... knew her birthday was coming up, and we met up in the afternoon. I say I'm going to treat her to a dinner as her birthday is coming.
Then we went window shopping at a mall... that's when the bomb drop...
She said.
"I was looking at some bags just now and you can buy me two of those... total add up around the price of the GPS I bought you...around 200 plus"
I was really stunned... and speechless.
She continued...
"Why you look so stunned? U ok onot?"
I remained stunned and silent.
"Remember the GPS I bought you last time, about same price... Or if you are a bit short this month, we can get it next month loh... how?"
Feeling abit hurt and awkward, I went to have lunch... she followed...
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your story is weird.
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Looking at my face and sensing something was wrong... she said
"Gift exchange what... what's wrong? If you are tight this month, then you buy next month loh..."
Silent minutes went by during lunch...
I was really hurt and confused. I finally consented and after lunch, told her to get her bags at the store. Or if she wants, I can withdraw cash from the ATM as I'm only willing to part with 200 bucks...
"Nevermind lah... you look so unwilling... we go home lah..."
I was adamant to give her back her $200. I went to the nearest ATM to withdraw and pass it to her.
"Dun want lah, what do you think I am? This is not about money..."
I insisted. This only made her more furious.
...
At the MRT station, we parted ways without saying goodbye...
Our friendship is only worth $200...
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how old is your friend?
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At least urs ish fair lei. $200 to and fro. i once invited to a average resturant for my birthday. end up ish me paying for the meal. Am I suppose to kill myself? See life open bah...
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Thanks for the reply...
My point is... what is gift giving?
Is the gift I received really a gift?
I'm still hurt and upset just thinking of it now...
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Originally posted by Pappy Lee:
Thanks for the reply...
My point is... what is gift giving?
Is the gift I received really a gift?
I'm still hurt and upset just thinking of it now...
hey, i tink ish maybe ur fren's logic is like this. She expect you to give her the equal share of gift back. I think ish more like give gift but with a extra +++ behind. Character problem..
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You made a booboo in the first place about accepting a gift.
Just accept and say "Thank you", that is sufficient. You want to say more, than tell her how thoughtful she is, and how the gift is just appropriate, etc, etc. just praise her.
Any reciprocal ideas you have in mind, keep it to yourself.
You can buy her a gift, of the same amount, less or more, does not matter. On her birthday or as a surprise later.
Making a song and dance about paying back for her expensive gift is just crass.
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Argue over this kind of issue? TS, you hoseh bo?
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Is she just 'joknig' with you, but sometimes the tone dun feel like joking? But then again, a few hundred dollars can be earned back, so i think there is no need 'argue' about the cost of the gift
Recently i bought a girl a necklace, and treated her at a japanese restaurant. not very expensive though, i believe the way of giving gift varies from people to people
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LOLOLOLOL happened to me too...
my mum's birthday, i was away in taiwan for training..
ex gf bought a necklace, few hundred bucks without my knowledge,
came back to sg, first thing she ask me is to pay her that few hundred bucks back
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is this even a big issue? a 200+ $ gps is not a big deal
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think we men lose more
there was once a girl ask me to buy her a handphone and i resfuse because i feel not worth it.
so i end up losing the chance of bonking her in the end
maybe if i brought the HP for her
i might get to bonk her for at least 10 times
which worth a lot more than the few hundred
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Told you girls are very calculative. Even at the office, that simple shared gift, can count down to the dollars and cents one., don't play play ar.
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I do have a friend who is like that too... becos the gift he bought is 200 plus... the gift i bought is less than that... from tt time onwards, he made a huge fuss over the issue since it is short of like a 21st birthday gift... in the end, i have no choice but to buy another thing to equate the value... that's why there is an old saying: money hurts relationship...
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i think you should be more gentleman and not argue the amount with her.
since she gave u a 'valid' reason. maybe you should just get her wat she wants. if u dont like the feeling, just let it me your first and final experience. dont go out with her anymore. anyway not all girls r thinking that guys are atm. maybe u should talk to her nicely like 'Oh u were expecting reciprocation' something along this line.
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it goes the same way for gifts, paying a meal and also the number of drumlets per person can eat at pizza hut.
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since tt time u insisted, then now she helped u to think of wat to get to offset, then where's the problem???
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this is what happens when the poor or stupid engage in the enterprise of 'gift giving'. I really dont mind spending thousands on others in the spirit of giving but if i had a dumbass calculative friend who mistakes 'gift giving' for 'trading' i'll tell him/her to fuck off. So TS here's some knowledge.
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Stay away from this girl. never let her become your gf or worse, wife. You'd suffer.
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The meaning of Gift.
Give purely, by not expecting anything in return. And the gift once given is the property of the receiver to do whatever with it. Keep it, throw away, sell it, give it away. There should not be any strings attached. This is the gift from the heart.
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Originally posted by HyperionDCZ:
this is what happens when the poor or stupid engage in the enterprise of 'gift giving'. I really dont mind spending thousands on others in the spirit of giving but if i had a dumbass calculative friend who mistakes 'gift giving' for 'trading' i'll tell him/her to fuck off. So TS here's some knowledge.
gift should be gift. If the gift is a sincere gift, the person shouldn't expect any trading.
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ts.. u like the girl?
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buy her a condom and say my cock is worth 200
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TS: Your friend funny attitude. Give pple present and expect pple to return in other form of presents. To your friend, I dont have much cash, if buy only 1 , I still can afford. After that, better dont get near her often.