How many times will u break your love ones heart b4 u learn
-
Thank you everyone for your replies , hugs n wellwishers.
I know she's my choice , thats why i held on to the invisible piece of rope i held on to , unless last night. Somehow the caring and attentive woman i fell in love with no longer exist from wad i see . I know we still love each other , even 50 years down the road , we would still have a special place in each other heart. But i cannot go on living with someone who doesnt gives a damn abt me , i m a pisces. I would be lying if i tell u i dont miss her and i dont want her back , 2 hours later would be my 31st birthday. And it would be the loneliest birthday i would ever have. Yes i would be surrounded by frens in a pub filled with pple, song n dance but i would still be alone in my heart.
I held on to this thinning rope for last half a year , hoping a miracle would happen and things would improve . but it din. I m afraid of losing her , yet i know i already lost her somewhere somehow.
Love is hard to come by in your life
True love is even harder to find
Holding on that love takes a lot of effort n time
But many have just chose to leave it aside once they have it all
And let it erode away with time.
For those who have someone to love by yourside
pls tell him you love him/her and treasure it
For nothing is certain in this universe
Even boulders erode away in the wind .
And so thus our so called love.
She sms this morning , saying she knows she hurts me too deep and dont have right to ask me to forgive her. -
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WUSS!!!!
May Happines and Blessings be with you Always
Blow out the candles and make a wish!
I am sure many good things will come your way my friend... -
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WUSS!!!!
May Happines and Blessings be with you Always
Blow out the candles and make a wish!
I am sure many good things will come your way my friend... -
/me pat pat wuss.
I feel sad for u.
Haiz..
Pisces..once decided to break up, will have a clear cut and nv turn back.
I believe u will be able strong.
Perhaps someday u will find someone who really treasures and loves u.
Well, I dun mean she dun love u here..perhaps she has other priorties in life, eg. her work.
Duno what to say..juz wana wish u all the best..it's nv easy to let go of love..but u will do fine.
Cheers!
-
Dear Wuss,
I was in a similar position to ur gf, I din ans my guy's calls, sometimes I'd tell him I'd call but I din, I din reply to his msgs, etc... At tt time, I was going thru a really rough patch, work & family stress was taking a toll on me, & I was snowed under ev. day wif a pile of work. I din feel like tokking @ the end of the day, only wished to be left alone to read...
Eventually, I broke his heart, & there was a day he cried from nite till the next morning. I saw his red, swollen eyes & asked him wat happened, & he asked, "Tell me, baby, do u still love me?"
It was then tt all the memories came flashing back, all those thgs he did to make me smilez, all those times he tried to show me I had his support, & I was the 1 pushing him away. I din even bother to explain why I suddenly retreated into a shell.
Then came the hard part, how do we salvage somethg like tt? We both tried, but we ended up trying too hard, we had quarrels, etc, but we stuck in there. Finally, 1 day, wif him sitting behind me & holding my waist, we tokked abt the problem, & how it seemed we were trying too hard to make thgs all better again. It appeared artificial.
Gd thg was, we managed to sort thgs out by tokking thgs thru, by taking time to smell the flowers, by giving him a hugz whenever I see him after work, thgs tt we used to do, & we found so much joy in.
I'm lucky in tt my guy chose to reveal how hurt he was, & how I'd broken his heart, cosh it gave me the chance to change & make thgs better between us. And thankfully this has made the love between us stronger.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by wuss:
I really dunno how to describe the feelings i have now...Something would be close would be.
numb , dull , empty , void , dazed
For 1 1/2 years i have been with a gal i love , everything was perfect in the beginning , till late last year . She started her own travel agency and begin diggin herself into work. Sms and calls drizzle to a minimal , sometimes she would disappear for hours or sometimes 1-2 days , sms becomes almost non-existant or no picking up of calls or returns. "Be patient i tell myself , she's busy with work " and i know she is , and i always hope things would get better. But it din , our dates gets cancelled , postponed , she forgets special days. All she can say is "i m sorry , tied up with work" again n again.
Be patient i tell myself , over n over again.
And still things look gloomy , i tried to talk to her, abt us distancing , and the amount of time we do not have for each other . And she acknowledges that, but all she can do is cry and say sorry.
Be patient , one day i ll see the light at the tunnel . I know i will , i tell myself , when the coldest n loneliest night i bear alone.
till now ,
She skipped valentine's day , not a card , not a gift , say she's not feeling well . Its alrite i tell her , i took a week to choose a gift for her , a card and a rose . I dont mind , its okie hun , no worries. She say she get something for me for chinese valentine , to make it up .
We had planned a previous month b4 going to koh samui today coz tommorrow is my birthday , she suggested and arrange for a trip for me.
For one month i was happy and excited for this trip.I even took 3 days leave.
I had my hair cut , my teeth clean at the dentist , bought a lot of beach wear . Pack everything early.
Till the day b4 yesterday , she disappeared again , sms me telling me she's busy , will call me back . never did.
And yesterday , the day we suppose to fly off to koh samui. She msg me in the morning she's also busy. I forgotten how many times i called and left msges and sms her. and i well knew she might not be able to make it..
I left home alone hoping last min she would call me , and i sat at the departure hall alone . waiting for some miracle to happen. i check the plane tix booking , it never showed our names . Somehow the internet booking never went tru , i have ask her to double check with airlines twice , guess she never did.
So i sat there waitin ...alone...hoping its a mistake and she has a valid reason to be missing. While i m worried sick for 2 days ..
finally the sms came , 1 hour b4 departure. She's Stuck with work and cannot make it anymore , she's very upset n sorry.
I was dumb founded.....somehow in my heart i knew it was the last chance i would give to her. and she failed to make it.
I sms her , "its over"
She reply "wat you mean ? are you leaving me?"
I sms her " I didnt leave you , you leave me long ago , you just dont realise it , i m no longer no 1 in your life , your clients more important than me"
she replied " i m so sorry"
I sat there for the next few hours , looking our flight fly away.staring into the emptiness of the viewhall. Thinking wad did i wrong , why did my relationship fail. How can things turn out like this , when i devote my love n life to her and she treats me like dirt , not even the basic respect of a fren.
How can i be so low ? i msg her so many questions , and she never answered any ...she just says she's sorry.
so i began to walk ...took the train to town , look for a fren , then went off to buy beers and sat near the river. I called my closest frens , and started to cry.alcohol does make a man lose his emotional control. I spend the next few hours staring into the river n thinking wad went wrong. And i called her , many times again , she prob do not dare to pick up the phone. As if i m in the wrong , why m i still trying to call her?
So i took my luggage and walk the streets alone again , till my mind was so dazed and took a cab home n slept.
I woke up this morning hoping its all dream...but it isnt.. just a feeling of nothingness...She msg me while i was sleeping , telling she knows she hurt me deeply and will leave me for good this time.
I did not reply to that.
How can she treat someone she said she love so deeply n truely . Becoz she cant disappoint her clients , but she can break her promises n disappoint me .
Again and again n again , coz she knows i will forgive her.
How many times will u break your love ones heart b4 u learn how to cherish them?
Perhaps all of us need to lose someone we learn our lesson not to take them for granted. But then , perhaps , the person we end up with in the end , might not be the one we love most and lost. -
*pat pat*Originally posted by wuss:
I really dunno how to describe the feelings i have now...Something would be close would be.
numb , dull , empty , void , dazed
For 1 1/2 years i have been with a gal i love , everything was perfect in the beginning , till late last year . She started her own travel agency and begin diggin herself into work. Sms and calls drizzle to a minimal , sometimes she would disappear for hours or sometimes 1-2 days , sms becomes almost non-existant or no picking up of calls or returns. "Be patient i tell myself , she's busy with work " and i know she is , and i always hope things would get better. But it din , our dates gets cancelled , postponed , she forgets special days. All she can say is "i m sorry , tied up with work" again n again.
Be patient i tell myself , over n over again.
And still things look gloomy , i tried to talk to her, abt us distancing , and the amount of time we do not have for each other . And she acknowledges that, but all she can do is cry and say sorry.
Be patient , one day i ll see the light at the tunnel . I know i will , i tell myself , when the coldest n loneliest night i bear alone.
till now ,
She skipped valentine's day , not a card , not a gift , say she's not feeling well . Its alrite i tell her , i took a week to choose a gift for her , a card and a rose . I dont mind , its okie hun , no worries. She say she get something for me for chinese valentine , to make it up .
We had planned a previous month b4 going to koh samui today coz tommorrow is my birthday , she suggested and arrange for a trip for me.
For one month i was happy and excited for this trip.I even took 3 days leave.
I had my hair cut , my teeth clean at the dentist , bought a lot of beach wear . Pack everything early.
Till the day b4 yesterday , she disappeared again , sms me telling me she's busy , will call me back . never did.
And yesterday , the day we suppose to fly off to koh samui. She msg me in the morning she's also busy. I forgotten how many times i called and left msges and sms her. and i well knew she might not be able to make it..
I left home alone hoping last min she would call me , and i sat at the departure hall alone . waiting for some miracle to happen. i check the plane tix booking , it never showed our names . Somehow the internet booking never went tru , i have ask her to double check with airlines twice , guess she never did.
So i sat there waitin ...alone...hoping its a mistake and she has a valid reason to be missing. While i m worried sick for 2 days ..
finally the sms came , 1 hour b4 departure. She's Stuck with work and cannot make it anymore , she's very upset n sorry.
I was dumb founded.....somehow in my heart i knew it was the last chance i would give to her. and she failed to make it.
I sms her , "its over"
She reply "wat you mean ? are you leaving me?"
I sms her " I didnt leave you , you leave me long ago , you just dont realise it , i m no longer no 1 in your life , your clients more important than me"
she replied " i m so sorry"
I sat there for the next few hours , looking our flight fly away.staring into the emptiness of the viewhall. Thinking wad did i wrong , why did my relationship fail. How can things turn out like this , when i devote my love n life to her and she treats me like dirt , not even the basic respect of a fren.
How can i be so low ? i msg her so many questions , and she never answered any ...she just says she's sorry.
so i began to walk ...took the train to town , look for a fren , then went off to buy beers and sat near the river. I called my closest frens , and started to cry.alcohol does make a man lose his emotional control. I spend the next few hours staring into the river n thinking wad went wrong. And i called her , many times again , she prob do not dare to pick up the phone. As if i m in the wrong , why m i still trying to call her?
So i took my luggage and walk the streets alone again , till my mind was so dazed and took a cab home n slept.
I woke up this morning hoping its all dream...but it isnt.. just a feeling of nothingness...She msg me while i was sleeping , telling she knows she hurt me deeply and will leave me for good this time.
I did not reply to that.
How can she treat someone she said she love so deeply n truely . Becoz she cant disappoint her clients , but she can break her promises n disappoint me .
Again and again n again , coz she knows i will forgive her.
How many times will u break your love ones heart b4 u learn how to cherish them?
Perhaps all of us need to lose someone we learn our lesson not to take them for granted. But then , perhaps , the person we end up with in the end , might not be the one we love most and lost.
To love is to give and take..
Well.. is not the matter of how times u break ones heart b4 you learn anything.. is whether you really learn and pick up the mistakes and review yourself in the past.. that you make sure you never repeat the same mistakes again.. Many people can break one after another simply be cos they dun learned!
You can't say someone who has many love life experiences is a GOOD LOVER!
CHeers.. -
U did the right thing. Even if she is busy, she should still return calls & SMS.
In a r/s, u need to share your problems & joy.
The fact that she is unavail. may mean she has a change of heart.
This might be an excuse to make u leave her voluntarily.
Don't contact her. Give her some time to think. Hopefully she will start to miss u & contact u again.
In the meantime, don't sit & wallow in self-pity. Go & make new friends.
Tell yourself u deserves better treatment & there will be others who will appreciate a caring guy
-
I used to have a long term relation a few years back , we last 4 years..and i recalled how i din not cherish her and took her for granted for many many times..tat time i was doing my own business and had little time for her ..when she went overseas to study , we broke off and i wondered why a 4 years relationship would end in 2 weeks. BUt looking back i realised i took her for granted and made many mistakes , and so i promise myself that if i ever find true love again , i would cherish it. And there was a lull of time when i couldnt forget her , a few years maybe.In between i broke many of a woman's heart , to let go the hurt n vengence i have inside . Til i found her , and yet , wad comes arounds goes around .
it is ironic isnt it? maybe thats the path of life ..to grow strong u need to have alot of obstacles in life.
feowfeow thanks for your input i m happy for u
that u woke up from ur own shell...this is how i feel abt her too..she would just encase herself in her own shell and not let me in abt her troubles at work.
She would tell me she find it hard to tok abt problems coz i m always happy go lucky n cheerful on the phone , she dont wanna burden me with her troubles.So she would just lock herself-in n disappear. And many times i told her i understand her good intentions , but i m not around for happy times only , i m here for good or worst. And she breaks my heart everytime she disappears , i feel tat she doesnt need me around. and no matter how many times i told her abt it , she repeats it.
Maybe now that i left her , she will realise her priorities in life.
Update : She msg me , a happy birthday
Wuss : Can i make a wish
GF : Sure
Wuss : I wish you will come back to me
GF : how? i decide to give up all my business
Wuss : Thats not wad i want ...etc etc.. i want you to balance your work n life n me and not put me to your "kia" list anymore. No matter how strong a plant is , it will eventually die without water.
TOU. -
u r a good guy..hope u recover soon.
-
Crossing my fingers for youOriginally posted by wuss:it is ironic isnt it? maybe thats the path of life ..to grow strong u need to have alot of obstacles in life.
Maybe now that i left her , she will realise her priorities in life.
Update : She msg me , a happy birthday
Wuss : Can i make a wish
GF : Sure
Wuss : I wish you will come back to me
GF : how? i decide to give up all my business
Wuss : Thats not wad i want ...etc etc.. i want you to balance your work n life n me and not put me to your "kia" list anymore. No matter how strong a plant is , it will eventually die without water.
TOU. -
Originally posted by wuss:I used to have a long term relation a few years back , we last 4 years..and i recalled how i din not cherish her and took her for granted for many many times..tat time i was doing my own business and had little time for her ..when she went overseas to study , we broke off and i wondered why a 4 years relationship would end in 2 weeks. BUt looking back i realised i took her for granted and made many mistakes , and so i promise myself that if i ever find true love again , i would cherish it. And there was a lull of time when i couldnt forget her , a few years maybe.In between i broke many of a woman's heart , to let go the hurt n vengence i have inside . Til i found her , and yet , wad comes arounds goes around .
it is ironic isnt it? maybe thats the path of life ..to grow strong u need to have alot of obstacles in life.
feowfeow thanks for your input i m happy for u
that u woke up from ur own shell...this is how i feel abt her too..she would just encase herself in her own shell and not let me in abt her troubles at work.
She would tell me she find it hard to tok abt problems coz i m always happy go lucky n cheerful on the phone , she dont wanna burden me with her troubles.So she would just lock herself-in n disappear. And many times i told her i understand her good intentions , but i m not around for happy times only , i m here for good or worst. And she breaks my heart everytime she disappears , i feel tat she doesnt need me around. and no matter how many times i told her abt it , she repeats it.
Maybe now that i left her , she will realise her priorities in life.
Update : She msg me , a happy birthday
Wuss : Can i make a wish
GF : Sure
Wuss : I wish you will come back to me
GF : how? i decide to give up all my business
Wuss : Thats not wad i want ...etc etc.. i want you to balance your work n life n me and not put me to your "kia" list anymore. No matter how strong a plant is , it will eventually die without water.
TOU.
It's good that u learned from past mistakes and cherish her. Can see that you still cherish the r/s..talk it out..let her think..she said she wana give up her business..that shows how much you mean to her. Try to share her burden...make a compromise to have quality time together etc.. -
You will... As long as you BELIEVE IN IT....Originally posted by blowfish:may i have the strenght to recover.
-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.Originally posted by wuss:Thank you everyone for your replies , hugs n wellwishers.
I know she's my choice , thats why i held on to the invisible piece of rope i held on to , unless last night. Somehow the caring and attentive woman i fell in love with no longer exist from wad i see . I know we still love each other , even 50 years down the road , we would still have a special place in each other heart. But i cannot go on living with someone who doesnt gives a damn abt me , i m a pisces. I would be lying if i tell u i dont miss her and i dont want her back , 2 hours later would be my 31st birthday. And it would be the loneliest birthday i would ever have. Yes i would be surrounded by frens in a pub filled with pple, song n dance but i would still be alone in my heart.
I held on to this thinning rope for last half a year , hoping a miracle would happen and things would improve . but it din. I m afraid of losing her , yet i know i already lost her somewhere somehow.
Love is hard to come by in your life
True love is even harder to find
Holding on that love takes a lot of effort n time
But many have just chose to leave it aside once they have it all
And let it erode away with time.
For those who have someone to love by yourside
pls tell him you love him/her and treasure it
For nothing is certain in this universe
Even boulders erode away in the wind .
And so thus our so called love.
She sms this morning , saying she knows she hurts me too deep and dont have right to ask me to forgive her. -
Still with himOriginally posted by FeowFeow:Dear Wuss,
I was in a similar position to ur gf, I din ans my guy's calls, sometimes I'd tell him I'd call but I din, I din reply to his msgs, etc... At tt time, I was going thru a really rough patch, work & family stress was taking a toll on me, & I was snowed under ev. day wif a pile of work. I din feel like tokking @ the end of the day, only wished to be left alone to read...
Eventually, I broke his heart, & there was a day he cried from nite till the next morning. I saw his red, swollen eyes & asked him wat happened, & he asked, "Tell me, baby, do u still love me?"
It was then tt all the memories came flashing back, all those thgs he did to make me smilez, all those times he tried to show me I had his support, & I was the 1 pushing him away. I din even bother to explain why I suddenly retreated into a shell.
Then came the hard part, how do we salvage somethg like tt? We both tried, but we ended up trying too hard, we had quarrels, etc, but we stuck in there. Finally, 1 day, wif him sitting behind me & holding my waist, we tokked abt the problem, & how it seemed we were trying too hard to make thgs all better again. It appeared artificial.
Gd thg was, we managed to sort thgs out by tokking thgs thru, by taking time to smell the flowers, by giving him a hugz whenever I see him after work, thgs tt we used to do, & we found so much joy in.
I'm lucky in tt my guy chose to reveal how hurt he was, & how I'd broken his heart, cosh it gave me the chance to change & make thgs better between us. And thankfully this has made the love between us stronger.
FeowFeow
-
Huh.. wuss or anyone.. can u all help me too?
My problem is about urs. I'm studying in a poly, and my gf is in JC year 2. She's havin her 'A' levels this year and she seems so busy with work. I like her alot and had always hope to spend more time with her. Even though both of us are busy, she with school, me with cca's and lessons outside. I told her to ask me out whenever she has time and i'll cancel anything on hand just to see her. We meet like once to none every week. So, 1 month will be like 4 times most? Do steadys meet this seldomly? But she thinks it's ok.
I am sad, and i told her about it. She apologised too and say she has work. I too, told myself nevermind. Afterall it's just a few months to her 'A' levels and after that she'll have more time to spend with me. She's a very hardworking gal, who excels in studies. How? What should i do? Wuss, will i end up breaking with her? HELP!!
-
Yes, still wif him : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Devil1976:Still with him -
Why don't you start a thread of your own? It's easier for people to advise, comment and help you that way...?Originally posted by just_a_boy:Huh.. wuss or anyone.. can u all help me too?
My problem is about urs. I'm studying in a poly, and my gf is in JC year 2. She's havin her 'A' levels this year and she seems so busy with work. I like her alot and had always hope to spend more time with her. Even though both of us are busy, she with school, me with cca's and lessons outside. I told her to ask me out whenever she has time and i'll cancel anything on hand just to see her. We meet like once to none every week. So, 1 month will be like 4 times most? Do steadys meet this seldomly? But she thinks it's ok.
I am sad, and i told her about it. She apologised too and say she has work. I too, told myself nevermind. Afterall it's just a few months to her 'A' levels and after that she'll have more time to spend with me. She's a very hardworking gal, who excels in studies. How? What should i do? Wuss, will i end up breaking with her? HELP!!
There's no exact 'normal value' as to how often a couple would meet up. It would very much depends on their own accomodating life style..
My feel is that she might think it's ok for now as both of you are currently very busy with your own work and activities. My advice would be not to pressurise her unnecessarily for now.. Just show adequate care and concern for her so that both of you would not totally drift apart during this period, yet be careful not to be a hinder in her studies. Do your 'catching up' after her 'A' levels? -
Ques: How many times will u break your love ones heart b4 u learn?
my ans: no matter how many times you will never learn till he/she breaks yours. but that still may not make you learn if you are a block head. -
X2 post
-
Originally posted by wuss:
I really dunno how to describe the feelings i have now...Something would be close would be.
numb , dull , empty , void , dazed
For 1 1/2 years i have been with a gal i love , everything was perfect in the beginning , till late last year . She started her own travel agency and begin diggin herself into work. Sms and calls drizzle to a minimal , sometimes she would disappear for hours or sometimes 1-2 days , sms becomes almost non-existant or no picking up of calls or returns. "Be patient i tell myself , she's busy with work " and i know she is , and i always hope things would get better. But it din , our dates gets cancelled , postponed , she forgets special days. All she can say is "i m sorry , tied up with work" again n again.
Be patient i tell myself , over n over again.
And still things look gloomy , i tried to talk to her, abt us distancing , and the amount of time we do not have for each other . And she acknowledges that, but all she can do is cry and say sorry.
Be patient , one day i ll see the light at the tunnel . I know i will , i tell myself , when the coldest n loneliest night i bear alone.
till now ,
She skipped valentine's day , not a card , not a gift , say she's not feeling well . Its alrite i tell her , i took a week to choose a gift for her , a card and a rose . I dont mind , its okie hun , no worries. She say she get something for me for chinese valentine , to make it up .
We had planned a previous month b4 going to koh samui today coz tommorrow is my birthday , she suggested and arrange for a trip for me.
For one month i was happy and excited for this trip.I even took 3 days leave.
I had my hair cut , my teeth clean at the dentist , bought a lot of beach wear . Pack everything early.
Till the day b4 yesterday , she disappeared again , sms me telling me she's busy , will call me back . never did.
And yesterday , the day we suppose to fly off to koh samui. She msg me in the morning she's also busy. I forgotten how many times i called and left msges and sms her. and i well knew she might not be able to make it..
I left home alone hoping last min she would call me , and i sat at the departure hall alone . waiting for some miracle to happen. i check the plane tix booking , it never showed our names . Somehow the internet booking never went tru , i have ask her to double check with airlines twice , guess she never did.
So i sat there waitin ...alone...hoping its a mistake and she has a valid reason to be missing. While i m worried sick for 2 days ..
finally the sms came , 1 hour b4 departure. She's Stuck with work and cannot make it anymore , she's very upset n sorry.
I was dumb founded.....somehow in my heart i knew it was the last chance i would give to her. and she failed to make it.
I sms her , "its over"
She reply "wat you mean ? are you leaving me?"
I sms her " I didnt leave you , you leave me long ago , you just dont realise it , i m no longer no 1 in your life , your clients more important than me"
she replied " i m so sorry"
I sat there for the next few hours , looking our flight fly away.staring into the emptiness of the viewhall. Thinking wad did i wrong , why did my relationship fail. How can things turn out like this , when i devote my love n life to her and she treats me like dirt , not even the basic respect of a fren.
How can i be so low ? i msg her so many questions , and she never answered any ...she just says she's sorry.
so i began to walk ...took the train to town , look for a fren , then went off to buy beers and sat near the river. I called my closest frens , and started to cry.alcohol does make a man lose his emotional control. I spend the next few hours staring into the river n thinking wad went wrong. And i called her , many times again , she prob do not dare to pick up the phone. As if i m in the wrong , why m i still trying to call her?
So i took my luggage and walk the streets alone again , till my mind was so dazed and took a cab home n slept.
I woke up this morning hoping its all dream...but it isnt.. just a feeling of nothingness...She msg me while i was sleeping , telling she knows she hurt me deeply and will leave me for good this time.
I did not reply to that.
How can she treat someone she said she love so deeply n truely . Becoz she cant disappoint her clients , but she can break her promises n disappoint me .
Again and again n again , coz she knows i will forgive her.
How many times will u break your love ones heart b4 u learn how to cherish them?
Perhaps all of us need to lose someone we learn our lesson not to take them for granted. But then , perhaps , the person we end up with in the end , might not be the one we love most and lost.
It's ironic to see so often, the thing with couple, about keeping the issue about the relationship to themselves and praying that things will change for the better. You probably learn the hard truth - it usually never happen. People don't gain enlightenment from nowhere, just like a cart will only move if you push it. I don't mean force/pressure of any kind, what I meant is that problems will be here to stay unless you took initiative to remove them.
There is serious upheaval in the dynamic of the relationship, but it's not too much about the fewer dates. Rather, you allowed a serious breakdown of proper communication to take place within, which gradually scape off parts of your love and render it unworkable.
Communication: You save it for yourself. The Pisces empathy sinks in and you feel that you don't want to burden her by demonstrating your displease. Remember, it's NOT about stressing or whatsoever, I am sure you are intelligent to realise that if this issue was chronic, your relationship will not survive. Of course, good communication is no trashing session - you will not turn it into one unless tact words, style and tone is not employed.
Do you realise why she only said 'I am so sorry.' ? She is helpless, knowing that she is ruining the relationship with her own hands, yet she is not willing to sacrifice this dream of hers. She tries her best to maintain in a way where the relationship and her business continues (disregarding if it had damages or not). It will not be mutual, for if both is at risk, the business will take priority. There is no balance - it's a choice.I sms her , "its over"
Have you ever realise that she knows the relationship is running into turmoil, but she may not have discover that it was actually THAT bad?
She reply "wat you mean ? are you leaving me?"
Have you ever spoke to her about possible solution? Not merely just having to mention about the problems in the relationship? Solution as in how you both design and compromise ways to keep the relationship intact without falling into depression and such? From decision to a balance?
And if she still picked decision, you could have minimize your hurts?
***
She has made her decision and yours too.
Learn to move on.
/me pat pat
Cheers -
It's ironic to see so often, the thing with couple, about keeping the issue about the relationship to themselves and praying that things will change for the better. You probably learn the hard truth - it usually never happen. People don't gain enlightenment from nowhere, just like a cart will only move if you push it. I don't mean force/pressure of any kind, what I meant is that problems will be here to stay unless you took initiative to remove them.
There is serious upheaval in the dynamic of the relationship, but it's not too much about the fewer dates. Rather, you allowed a serious breakdown of proper communication to take place within, which gradually scape off parts of your love and render it unworkable.
Communication: You save it for yourself. The Pisces empathy sinks in and you feel that you don't want to burden her by demonstrating your displease. Remember, it's NOT about stressing or whatsoever, I am sure you are intelligent to realise that if this issue was chronic, your relationship will not survive. Of course, good communication is no trashing session - you will not turn it into one unless tact words, style and tone is not employed.
Do you realise why she only said 'I am so sorry.' ?
She is helpless, knowing that she is ruining the relationship with her own hands, yet she is not willing to sacrifice this dream of hers. She tries her best to maintain in a way where the relationship and her business continues (disregarding if it had damages or not). It will not be mutual, for if both is at risk, the business will take priority. There is no balance - it's a choice.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sms her , "its over"
She reply "wat you mean ? are you leaving me?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have you ever realise that she knows the relationship is running into turmoil, but she may not have discover that it was actually THAT bad?
Have you ever spoke to her about possible solution? Not merely just having to mention about the problems in the relationship? Solution as in how you both design and compromise ways to keep the relationship intact without falling into depression and such? From decision to a balance?
And if she still picked decision, you could have minimize your hurts?
***
She has made her decision and yours too.
Learn to move on.
/me pat pat
Cheers
Thank you for your detailed analysis of my problem , and yes , alot of truths in that sense u made out. Unfortunately letting go is never easy , especially when i still love her and i know she still loves me , and yet ironically, i know i do not want to go thru that kind of ordeal again. Perhaps i will forgive her when she learn her lesson but i will never forget.
I really want to share her burden and troubles , but how can i , when she refuse to talk to me or even open up . she really hid herself very well this time ,the more she think she is in the wrong , the more she thinks she doesnt deserve me , the more she will try to get away from me.
I m always willing to compromise , and from day 1 i knew she's going to give her work priority over me . I m not disappointed or her becoz she couldnt make it for the trip .But becoz she totally forgot abt her promises and forgot to inform me .There are so many way she could have prevented this from happening , it will take 3 mins to call me to inform me , but it never cross her mind . And yes , it has repeated happened more times then i could remember.
Previously i would lie on the bed wondering where she would be at night , when she doesnt reply or answer my phone. But i got used to that..
But i can nver get used to someone breaking her own promises..over n over again.. -
Originally posted by wuss:Thank you for your detailed analysis of my problem , and yes , alot of truths in that sense u made out. Unfortunately letting go is never easy , especially when i still love her and i know she still loves me , and yet ironically, i know i do not want to go thru that kind of ordeal again. Perhaps i will forgive her when she learn her lesson but i will never forget.
I really want to share her burden and troubles , but how can i , when she refuse to talk to me or even open up . she really hid herself very well this time ,the more she think she is in the wrong , the more she thinks she doesnt deserve me , the more she will try to get away from me.
I m always willing to compromise , and from day 1 i knew she's going to give her work priority over me . I m not disappointed or her becoz she couldnt make it for the trip .But becoz she totally forgot abt her promises and forgot to inform me .There are so many way she could have prevented this from happening , it will take 3 mins to call me to inform me , but it never cross her mind . And yes , it has repeated happened more times then i could remember.
Previously i would lie on the bed wondering where she would be at night , when she doesnt reply or answer my phone. But i got used to that..
But i can nver get used to someone breaking her own promises..over n over again.. Its torturing.
To undergo what you went through. Being in such relationship is utterly unfulfilling and tormenting.I really want to share her burden and troubles , but how can i , when she refuse to talk to me or even open up . she really hid herself very well this time ,the more she think she is in the wrong , the more she thinks she doesnt deserve me , the more she will try to get away from me.
Before you can open the hearts of others, you have to learn to open yours. This theory has never fail me. Or maybe it's just me. There are reasons why people remain closed to you. Thousand and one reasons, but usually for the wrong cause.
You didn't made a wrong choice, but I won't say you are right as well.
You simply made a decision.
Your next phrase of life.
Allow pain to cleanse your soul. Everything will gradually become bitter sweet memories.
Cheers -
Take care dude...
-
jus talked to her..same situation..busy busy..even as friends now..she say so...well..e end of our friendship i guess...she say be friends..well so call namesake i guess...
-
Its been almost more than 2 weeks since that incident..
i have only spoken to her once after..i called her office and she picked up the call not knowing it was me...it was very brief..she was very cold n sounded very tired..
....
she had fallen sick since our breakup...was warded into hospital for a few days..which i only found out later...she refuse to let me know where she is..i look for her at almost all the hospi but in vain..i told her i forgiven her and we would start anew..but she's just keep avoiding the topic...we only trade sms now..
sometimes 1-2 sms in a 2-3 days..
she will ignore all the sms that relates to our relationship..
*heart broken*
she's been discharged n recovering at home...i really wish i can be there for her and take care of her..but she wouldnt let me...i dont want her to get more upset so i stop going to her place n look for her..
i m really confused...i m going to take a step back n chill out...and let her recover ....but i feel so unwanted n unneeded as a bf or as a guy..
maybe perhaps everything will fade with time...even love...
i just want to know what is she thinking ,is she
(1) got someone else
(2) loves me to deep too hurt me again, so want to leave me
(3) ???
every night n morning when i wake n sleep..questions without answers popping endless in a loop..