I got a Nice guy friend.
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I do agree with you...he definitely needs to be more "approachable" towards girls....he's SHY guy???Originally posted by elindra:I think his friend needs to be more assertive besides a physical make-over. From what Caramon is saying, he sounds like a doormat and girls don't like doormats. -
yeah...better not so directOriginally posted by mistyblue:I suspect its him... but then....
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yeah lah... you see my replies ... ???? can tell I am withholding...Originally posted by SnowFlag:yeah...better not so direct -
"Approachable" is not the word hereOriginally posted by dcx:I do agree with you...he definitely needs to be more "approachable" towards girls....he's SHY guy??? He needs to get more backbone to stand up for himself. Walking like a crab in public to let people past. That has shot by what we term as courtesy. Letting people interupt him all the time without making his stand 
Is he even a guy? I don't think any female in this forum will even allow themselves to be treated this way.
I know this sounds pretty harsh but that's facts. Sure girls like nice guys. I believe most girls who have a bf/hubby here are with a nice guy. It's just that these guys are assertive as well. -
Yeap, u have my vote on tat.
Dun believe this "Oh, she'll accept for wat I am" tat bullshit. First impression counts, and this includes everything from how one dress, to one's pose/how he carries himself. And most importantly... how he com-mu-ni-cates.
Ok, first tip, tell him to read more mag. Like Men's Health, try to "psycho" him to look as good, or close as those models in there.
For his looks, the hairs gotta go. A totally bald guy looks cooler then a guy trying to save watz left of up there. Take him to the gym and train up his body. From wat you write up there, he's got a skinny body, so skip the cardio training, go straight for the weights, not too heavy. Buy supplements to build up those muscules fast. Get a tan.
Take him to the shopping mall, G2000, Giodarno, GUESS, BOD, Domanchi, POA, etc etc etc for clothes. Go to places like Yellow for the accessories, he can pierce his ears there, if he wans to.
2nd Tips, attitude, not to say to make him a badass overnight, but build up his confidence. The mirror and a friend helps. Make him talk more. Talk to the mirror, the mirror will let him know how he looks like when he talks and improve himself. This will also improve the way he carry himself. The way he walks, tell him to start walking like a human being and not a lesser primate. So the hunchback and slugging shoulders gotta go. Walk upright, straight back, chest forward, chin up, look in front, not at his little hobbit down there. Most importantly, he needs to feel proud of wat he looks like. He'll look more confident tat way.
3rd tip, well, I dunno whether this is considered a tip but, watch the movie "I Do I Do" and "Hitch". Not for entertainment, but get the main concept behind those movies. Wat those gals are actually attracted to and wat turns them on. How gals wan to be treated... so on so fore.
Tatz all tat I can give, the rest is up to himself. As a friend to him, u have to help him if u are so concerned. If he needs a training buddy in the gym, just drop me a private msg. I usually train on fridays on bt gombak.
He's going through wat I've gone through 10 years ago. But dun worry, itz not too late. Look at me now, 10 years ago, the gals did the choosing, but now, I'm the one who's doing the choosing. And I believe he's 1 caterpillar whos dying to come out of his cacoon.
Sorry, a little long-winded on my part... must be getting old... ha ha!!Originally posted by gerrykoh:Tell him to improve his appearance- get rid of his mostache, wear contacts, go for makeover.
Appearance are impt. for initial attraction that is why guys always go for pretty girls. For girls, character & personality are more impt. cos we can accept average looks.
Being nice means gentlemanly in his treatment towards girls.
We don't want a wimp. He must be assertive & knows what he wants eg when he gets interrupted by rude pple when speaking, he should not keep quiet. -
Pardon me... forgot to include. His specs, seens he's going bald, go for contacts. The mostache, cut it or clean shave it.Originally posted by Boo777:Yeap, u have my vote on tat.
Dun believe this "Oh, she'll accept for wat I am" tat bullshit. First impression counts, and this includes everything from how one dress, to one's pose/how he carries himself. And most importantly... how he com-mu-ni-cates.
Ok, first tip, tell him to read more mag. Like Men's Health, try to "psycho" him to look as good, or close as those models in there.
For his looks, the hairs gotta go. A totally bald guy looks cooler then a guy trying to save watz left of up there. Take him to the gym and train up his body. From wat you write up there, he's got a skinny body, so skip the cardio training, go straight for the weights, not too heavy. Buy supplements to build up those muscules fast. Get a tan.
Take him to the shopping mall, G2000, Giodarno, GUESS, BOD, Domanchi, POA, etc etc etc for clothes. Go to places like Yellow for the accessories, he can pierce his ears there, if he wans to.
2nd Tips, attitude, not to say to make him a badass overnight, but build up his confidence. The mirror and a friend helps. Make him talk more. Talk to the mirror, the mirror will let him know how he looks like when he talks and improve himself. This will also improve the way he carry himself. The way he walks, tell him to start walking like a human being and not a lesser primate. So the hunchback and slugging shoulders gotta go. Walk upright, straight back, chest forward, chin up, look in front, not at his little hobbit down there. Most importantly, he needs to feel proud of wat he looks like. He'll look more confident tat way.
3rd tip, well, I dunno whether this is considered a tip but, watch the movie "I Do I Do" and "Hitch". Not for entertainment, but get the main concept behind those movies. Wat those gals are actually attracted to and wat turns them on. How gals wan to be treated... so on so fore.
Tatz all tat I can give, the rest is up to himself. As a friend to him, u have to help him if u are so concerned. If he needs a training buddy in the gym, just drop me a private msg. I usually train on fridays on bt gombak.
He's going through wat I've gone through 10 years ago. But dun worry, itz not too late. Look at me now, 10 years ago, the gals did the choosing, but now, I'm the one who's doing the choosing. And I believe he's 1 caterpillar whos dying to come out of his cacoon.
Sorry, a little long-winded on my part... must be getting old... ha ha!! -
Maybe its really him...Originally posted by mistyblue:I suspect its him... but then....
Yup lets put it tis way: Girls like Intriguing element in a man. and at tt age, most of them will like to have a relationship interesting enough to explore possibility of marriage.
cheerios -
A post to answer all questions.. NO I am not him.. anyway thanks to all forumers who contribute: from those with constructive solutions to the more tact-less, thanks for your time..
What I am thinking aloud is how could ladies who often lament about the lack of " Nice" guys when my friend Peter, is so "alive" and readily available.. I feel sad not because he's not happy with the way his life is at the moment but a guy like him deserved better..
To change his appearances in order to get attached is plain absurd.. what does todays girls sees in a guy anyway? Looks? it defeat the whole purpose of being in a dating game, don't you agreed? So models with the ability to cat-walk and flaunt his/her looks deserve a chance to a relationship..
Peter with a readily smile to almost anyone, is humble, kind-hearted to the extend of being cheated, someone who you would trust but will never get a second look among the crowds, is being shun upon by local ladies.. Lack of assertiveness maybe a flaw in todays society.. being not "man" enough may not sound right.. But, is he a monster, a beggar, or a fearful creature? NO, he's not.. he will always be my best friend, as the heart he carries is more "beautiful" than anyone else.. -
Welcome to the real world, my friend.Originally posted by caramon:A post to answer all questions.. NO I am not him.. anyway thanks to all forumers who contribute: from those with constructive solutions to the more tact-less, thanks for your time..
What I am thinking aloud is how could ladies who often lament about the lack of " Nice" guys when my friend Peter, is so "alive" and readily available.. I feel sad not because he's not happy with the way his life is at the moment but a guy like him deserved better..
To change his appearances in order to get attached is plain absurd.. what does todays girls sees in a guy anyway? Looks? it defeat the whole purpose of being in a dating game, don't you agreed? So models with the ability to cat-walk and flaunt his/her looks deserve a chance to a relationship..
Peter with a readily smile to almost anyone, is humble, kind-hearted to the extend of being cheated, someone who you would trust but will never get a second look among the crowds, is being shun upon by local ladies.. Lack of assertiveness maybe a flaw in todays society.. being not "man" enough may not sound right.. But, is he a monster, a beggar, or a fearful creature? NO, he's not.. he will always be my best friend, as the heart he carries is more "beautiful" than anyone else..
If u want results fast, you have to market yourself.
Be proactive.
This assertiveness translates into self-confidence. or 'man'
In sales speak, u have to get your foot into the door first before u show them your wares. -
My friend Peter got retrenched.
Peter gazed out over the East Coast Sea, feeling the faint breeze against his face -eyes shut, the white sand warm between his bare toes.. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief he felt as he remembered the last time he had been here..
He dare not open the letter..
For the umpteenth time he used his free hand to straighten his white shirt, cursing silently when his hand brushed roughly across the edges of his badge, pinned limply on a corner of the shirt pocket..
With his other hand, he clutched tightly at the white envelope..
It was not the first time he had faced such a dilemma.. A dilemma of both wanting and not wanting to open the envelope, afraid of the contents; fearful of the consequences; aware of the potential heartbreak..
He refused to acknowledge that his appearance got to do with his retrenchment.. For all the years he served in the company, he had placed the company interest ahead of his.. many times, he work from sun-rise to dusk before he would call it a day..
Finally he muster enough courage to open up that envelope..
The luxury of hope was gone.. It was as certain as the sun-set; as surely as the neatly written words he had read over and over again in the past half an hour..
He let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret.. What could he do but move on.. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony he felt now? -
I remembered that there was a story about 'dont work so hard,nobody notices it anyway'.That is just a thought,ignore it.
Your friend is a nice guy but no point being nice in this real world.Things that happen in TV dramas dont often happen in real life.It do though,in your dreams.
My advice=many people here had said it.
Just a quick guide here:Most SG girls go for looks or money.This is what most SG men will tell you.If you have none,it is advisable to marry a foreigner.
I hope people know what I am talking about.If you dont,dont read this post as it might sound offensive to you. -
Reality is we need to be attracted to the person. That is why first impression is so impt. & pple even go for plastic surgery. Similarly the guys will not approach plain looking girls for dates even if they are super nice.Originally posted by caramon:What I am thinking aloud is how could ladies who often lament about the lack of " Nice" guys when my friend Peter, is so "alive" and readily available.. I feel sad not because he's not happy with the way his life is at the moment but a guy like him deserved better..
To change his appearances in order to get attached is plain absurd.. what does todays girls sees in a guy anyway? Looks? it defeat the whole purpose of being in a dating game, don't you agreed? So models with the ability to cat-walk and flaunt his/her looks deserve a chance to a relationship.. -
Hmm...
I think a nice person is great
but perhaps the problem is... not so much looks or manner
but if your friend INTERESTING?
To have a healthy, long relationship
I think both parties must find each other interesting enough
to be, well, interested for a long time.
They can share a passion, share a hobby
share perspectives... it doesn't matter
as long as they continually interest each other.
Of course, what one person find utterly boring
another may find captivating...
however, I do know some people who are... just so .. shy, self effacing that
they come across as no 'personality'
they dont seem to have preferences, they dont seem to have much hobbies, they don't have any view points or opinions when asked
they are so nice they are willing to listen all the time
but in the end, seriously, while everyone appreciates a listener
a relationship is cultivated by the 'opening up' of both parties
and sooner or later, when the conversation runs out
if the person don't feel like, Hey this person is interesting, I would like to know more!
But.. "hmm nice guy" then well, it may stop at there.
so yeah... it isnt good enough to be a 'nice guy' just like I am sure most (normal) guys would be bored entirely to death with a 'nice girl' who have no personality at all. -
Originally posted by caramon:My friend Peter got retrenched.
Peter gazed out over the East Coast Sea, feeling the faint breeze against his face -eyes shut, the white sand warm between his bare toes.. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief he felt as he remembered the last time he had been here..
He dare not open the letter..
For the umpteenth time he used his free hand to straighten his white shirt, cursing silently when his hand brushed roughly across the edges of his badge, pinned limply on a corner of the shirt pocket..
With his other hand, he clutched tightly at the white envelope..
It was not the first time he had faced such a dilemma.. A dilemma of both wanting and not wanting to open the envelope, afraid of the contents; fearful of the consequences; aware of the potential heartbreak..
He refused to acknowledge that his appearance got to do with his retrenchment.. For all the years he served in the company, he had placed the company interest ahead of his.. many times, he work from sun-rise to dusk before he would call it a day..
Finally he muster enough courage to open up that envelope..
The luxury of hope was gone.. It was as certain as the sun-set; as surely as the neatly written words he had read over and over again in the past half an hour..
He let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret.. What could he do but move on.. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony he felt now?
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Life goes on... Pick up an alternate life style? Certain life style is good to enjoy the moments in life, but probably won't get you anywhere too near to the girls... Ideally, strike a balance...
Restrict yourself a bit.. Take a lower expenses way of life... No use mooding over things... Expand your circle, meet more people... -
Woah.... aint you getting a little defensive here, homie.... I mean com'on, as his "best friend", instead of helping him change his image to improve himself, you are actually letting him continue to do wat is considered a disadvantage to him. Some "best friend" you are.
Cat-walk?? Nobody wans him to do the cat-walk at orchard road. If he cant carry himself right, I tell ya, he'll even have a hard time getting job even if he'd got a doc cert, not to mention getting anyone attention. So think about wat u said, kiddo. And in a courtship, everything counts, and I mean everything. Would you go dating with a guy/gal with bad manners, digging nose, speaking loudly, big, fat smelly stinky, lots of pimples and acenes on his face... and bad breathe. Before you can answer, touch ur heart, THEN answer.
And if you are really his "best friend", help him get a make over. The quote saying, "making the society fit you instead of you fitting the society" are not meant for us humble commoners, in another words, bull-crap. We have to blend ourselves to the society in order to survive in this hush world, tatz wat makes us strong.
I'm not saying tat your friend is weak, nobody is weak, itz one's will tat is weak. If wan to help ur friend survive in this world, then help him, open to suggestions, try them out, instead of arguing with everything we "kindly" suggest you COULD DO TO HELP HIM. Geez.... Women.... once you get to know them, they can be terrible creature, messing with your mind man!!
Forgive me but, from your last paragraph, you describe him as if you worship him, why dun you be his gf for a change. No?? You dun wan to?? Or you are simply not INTERESTED? There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, she's not interested. Then help him for goodness sake. Turn him something tat could turn you on. If it succeed, he'll be thankful, not to us, babe, but to you, his best friend.Originally posted by caramon:A post to answer all questions.. NO I am not him.. anyway thanks to all forumers who contribute: from those with constructive solutions to the more tact-less, thanks for your time..
What I am thinking aloud is how could ladies who often lament about the lack of " Nice" guys when my friend Peter, is so "alive" and readily available.. I feel sad not because he's not happy with the way his life is at the moment but a guy like him deserved better..
To change his appearances in order to get attached is plain absurd.. what does todays girls sees in a guy anyway? Looks? it defeat the whole purpose of being in a dating game, don't you agreed? So models with the ability to cat-walk and flaunt his/her looks deserve a chance to a relationship..
Peter with a readily smile to almost anyone, is humble, kind-hearted to the extend of being cheated, someone who you would trust but will never get a second look among the crowds, is being shun upon by local ladies.. Lack of assertiveness maybe a flaw in todays society.. being not "man" enough may not sound right.. But, is he a monster, a beggar, or a fearful creature? NO, he's not.. he will always be my best friend, as the heart he carries is more "beautiful" than anyone else.. -
geeze... I tot he just insulted a bunch of us with his first line in his reply...
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Eh i honestly do tink tt your msg sound like a movie script... or u r writing a novel... hmmm...Originally posted by caramon:My friend Peter got retrenched.
Peter gazed out over the East Coast Sea, feeling the faint breeze against his face -eyes shut, the white sand warm between his bare toes.. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief he felt as he remembered the last time he had been here..
He dare not open the letter..
For the umpteenth time he used his free hand to straighten his white shirt, cursing silently when his hand brushed roughly across the edges of his badge, pinned limply on a corner of the shirt pocket..
With his other hand, he clutched tightly at the white envelope..
It was not the first time he had faced such a dilemma.. A dilemma of both wanting and not wanting to open the envelope, afraid of the contents; fearful of the consequences; aware of the potential heartbreak..
He refused to acknowledge that his appearance got to do with his retrenchment.. For all the years he served in the company, he had placed the company interest ahead of his.. many times, he work from sun-rise to dusk before he would call it a day..
Finally he muster enough courage to open up that envelope..
The luxury of hope was gone.. It was as certain as the sun-set; as surely as the neatly written words he had read over and over again in the past half an hour..
He let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret.. What could he do but move on.. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony he felt now? -
Please lah.. I am a guy and I am straight.. A change over? what for ? if a lady judge you by appearances, she will dump you the very instance when she's given the opportunity to know other handsome guys..Originally posted by Boo777:Forgive me but, from your last paragraph, you describe him as if you worship him, why dun you be his gf for a change. No?? You dun wan to?? Or you are simply not INTERESTED? There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, she's not interested. Then help him for goodness sake. Turn him something tat could turn you on. If it succeed, he'll be thankful, not to us, babe, but to you, his best friend.
I am sad by the fact that he was not presented a chance by local ladies, when most of them goes.. " Lack of Nice men in singapore, all married liao, some dead, the rest can't make it." -
Don't you agreed that Novel or some movies derive from true life accounts too ?Originally posted by mach10:Eh i honestly do tink tt your msg sound like a movie script... or u r writing a novel... hmmm... -
Appearance aside, from how you describe him, he sounds like a doormat.Originally posted by caramon:Please lah.. I am a guy and I am straight.. A change over? what for ? if a lady judge you by appearances, she will dump you the very instance when she's given the opportunity to know other handsome guys..
I am sad by the fact that he was not presented a chance by local ladies, when most of them goes.. " Lack of Nice men in singapore, all married liao, some dead, the rest can't make it." -
You're a guy!?!? Ouch... sorry.... *salutes*
Hey... not say every lady judge by appearance, I meant "1st impression", my brudda. Appearance is PART of 1st impression, as it also made up of many things e.g. how one carries oneself, good personality... etc etc etc.
Not to discriminate fat guys but, I've seen these big bruddas getting model-like babes for gf. They dun look good, their figure is outta shape, they cant show off their bodies in SunSet Bay. But why they still got those babes into their arms? The answer lies not only in their appearance, but how they carry themselves, how they "present" themselves to the ladies, how they humour them, how they interest them. And yes, they are daring, and they are not afraid to fail.
For married men, "Nice" is not the word to use here, the word to use is "steady-ness". Nice, anyone can be nice, can pretend to be nice, can act nice, talk nice, feel nice, but not every guy can be "steady". "Steady-ness" takes time + cultivation, this watz makes them stand out from the competition.
You friend is nice, but "nice" is not enuff, my brudda. He has got to learn how to be "steady", like the unmoveable Mount Fuji. I'm too at the learning stage, itz not easy. I think itz time to wake ur friend up. And dun give me tat "the rest can't make it" bull-crap. There's no guy in the world who can't make it, it depends whether he wans to do it and make the change. If he doesn't wan to change, I'm sorry brudda, he dun deserve anyone. No such thing as free food free drinks in this world with no effort made.
Dunno whether you guys get where I'm going, but good luck to you singles out there!! Time to wake up and have confident to show ur sexy buttocks to the world, eehhh... but dun follow until like Steven Lim like tat lah... a little too extreme. Hee hee!!!
If I'm wrong in any-way, please correct me. I'm learning to be "steady" too.
Cheerz my bruddas!!
Itz Tiger time!!Originally posted by caramon:Please lah.. I am a guy and I am straight.. A change over? what for ? if a lady judge you by appearances, she will dump you the very instance when she's given the opportunity to know other handsome guys..
I am sad by the fact that he was not presented a chance by local ladies, when most of them goes.. " Lack of Nice men in singapore, all married liao, some dead, the rest can't make it." -
Odds 5-to-1 Peter will commit suicide before he hits 35.
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Ewwww! can recommend better clothes than that?Originally posted by Boo777:Take him to the shopping mall, G2000, Giodarno, GUESS, BOD, Domanchi, POA, etc etc etc for clothes. Go to places like Yellow for the accessories, he can pierce his ears there, if he wans to.
Depending on his personal style, you can choose brands from the mid-level brands.
He sounds a bit of a nerd...ok a total nerd.
Try TopMan/Moto, Tommy Hilfiger, Zara (but dont get too carried away), Levi's and DKNY. If he can afford it try Paul Smith, Yohji Yamamoto. Also get a good pair of shoes. Dont wear those horrible $50 shoes that I bet he wears. Get something like Allen Edmonds or even Johnston & Murphy. -
girls are strange. dont bother listening to what they say. Instead pay attention to how they act. They'll say one thing and do another. They'll say they want a good guy but will fuck the brains out of a bad boy. Be a bad boy then.