25K of saving.....
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i think you should spend it on the flat~i think you can tell her that you should buy the flat first then you two shall save up for another two years for your wedding dinner~its always better to have a far planning than to have a day of happiness then suffer for the rest of the married...as the two of you won't know what will it be when you two got married and living with your in-laws~its really not that easy..so find a chance to talk to her..and explain to her why you want a flat first instead of a oneday wedding~
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House is a better option, both as an investment and as a place to call home.
for the dinner part, can scale down to $10K max???
$500 per table, just have 20 tables at most lah, u really got so many relatives n friends meh
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that why its better to dump her and get an obedient vietnamese wifeOriginally posted by czechmate:Waah ... touchy topic. I would say it depends on how badly your girl wants to have the dinner. Must it be sitdown 10 course type? Can go for nice romantic "under tent" type buffet for close relatives and friends. You will get money back from hongpows - may not be the entire sum spent but chances are you will not 'lose' much. I know some people who actually received more than they paid out for the dinner.
At the end of the day, it's how both of you compromise since you're starting a life together. Some gals have memories like elephants. If the dinner is something she really wants, even if she gives in to you and forgoes the dinner, for the REST OF YOUR LIFE she will be making comments about how you were so cheapskate and insensitive to her feelings that you didn't even want to give a simple dinner to celebrate your lifelong reunion. Your kids may get to hear the sorrowful tale too. It won't matter if the flat you invest in makes a profit if property prices soar during your lifetime and you upgrade to a high class apt
Give and take alittle at both ends ... that's what a lasting successful marriage is going to have to be built on, right?
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Originally posted by dzylim:that why its better to dump her and get an obedient vietnamese wife
Quickly get one now before they become "smart" like the china ones right -
neither, don't pay off the HDB loan. Keep the cash as liquid assets.
As for the wedding dinner, tell her you'll agree to it only if she can guarantee that you'll make up the money in redpackets. If not..forget it.
Dump her. -
When you're a couple, you'd find that you and your partner may have very different ideas, values and priorities. Sometimes you'd never, never be able to accept the way your partner prioritises things... like a wedding dinner.
To you, the dinner may be total crap, a useless societal showoff event. And I'm sure you have many valid reasons to support that. But to totally disregard and disrespect your partner's opinions and insist on doing things YOUR way or the highway; that's not the right first steps that'll lead to a happy marriage.
I think if you're both willing to compromise, you can do both. -
i don think the female side in this case is willing to compromise lor.Originally posted by choco B:When you're a couple, you'd find that you and your partner may have very different ideas, values and priorities. Sometimes you'd never, never be able to accept the way your partner prioritises things... like a wedding dinner.
To you, the dinner may be total crap, a useless societal showoff event. And I'm sure you have many valid reasons to support that. But to totally disregard and disrespect your partner's opinions and insist on doing things YOUR way or the highway; that's not the right first steps that'll lead to a happy marriage.
I think if you're both willing to compromise, you can do both. -
or u can try asking her. wanna live in a nice house or just wanna have a glamourous dinner?
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I don't reach this conclusion based on doomz's posts.
But I hope for him that there's a solution that'll please everyone. It doesn't necessarily have to be choose one or the other.Originally posted by dzylim:i don think the female side in this case is willing to compromise lor. -
ask her whose money it is.Originally posted by dzylim:i don think the female side in this case is willing to compromise lor. -
Neither option. Instead, invest the money in financial vehicles and get married a decade later. You're guaranteed to have enough money for both options by then, assuming you don't get your fingers burnt and manage to double your money.
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My take is to spend 50-50
Well, unless the both of you are earning a combined salary of around $8-10k a month, i wouldn't suggest going for an extravagant wedding...
Better to spend it on something more practical then... on memories?
It does depend on your wife to be too... heh, i'm sure you already know what to do deep in yr mind..
Do it, and don't regret.~ -
Skip the dinner....go for flat....... -
Just invite the close relatives for your parents' sake. Don't need to invite all the cousins, just the aunties & uncles.
This way, u need the most 10 tables. U will definately get back more cos they will give big angpows.
The rest like colleagues & friends u can give hi tea after church wedding- cheaper. -
I think if your $$ resources is limited, invite closed relatives from both families (< or ~10 tables) for the wedding dinner and spent the rest on getting the flat. That will be a compromise between the 2 choices. Sg econ is very uncertain nowadays....... should try to lower down financial liability as much as possible for a good start, unless the lady is not understanding enough.
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Haiz... wedding... the time when logical thinking is overrided........
Anyway, you can break even or even earn a profit for wedding dinner depending on who you invite. Most people though would give you enough ang bao to cover the cost. -
Not sure if I am correct...will need clarification.Originally posted by doomz:To spend on down payment for HDB flat and own it for life or.....
a night of romatic and memorable wedding dinner which last for only 1 day?
I want to spend it on downpayment but my gf wanna spend it on wedding dinner.
Help please.........
If you put the $25k for the downpayment of the HDB flat, when u sell it, will u get it back (the cash - i mean) or is it put straight into CPF?
As for the decision, women want romantic romantic lah. But then hor...better to put aside if she wants a wedding dinner. Normally the deficit (if any) of the wedding dinner will be around $10k (estimate hor) for a 34 table $700 nett . (Not including bridal package, etc) -
Tell her this:
Ok...we'll spend the money on the wedding. By the way, dear, after the wedding, we'll be living on the streets. -
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????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Originally posted by jamesultrablue:Tell her this:
Ok...we'll spend the money on the wedding. By the way, dear, after the wedding, we'll be living on the streets.
You sure bo .
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New flat or re-sale flat ?Originally posted by doomz:To spend on down payment for HDB flat and own it for life or.....
a night of romatic and memorable wedding dinner which last for only 1 day?
I want to spend it on downpayment but my gf wanna spend it on wedding dinner.
Help please.........
You no CPF meh ? Why must pay cash ? -
Why not? It's a blunt answer and though it may not be exactly like that, it could just force her to rethink about spending those money on the wedding which will lead to losing a new home.
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Buy a house only if u really can afford it. Dun be too ambitious to get a big big house. Next time u will suffer if u find that there's too much financial burden.
Dinner wise..I would prefer something simple. But it's ur wedding and..marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Have a gd talk about it and ask parents for opinions lor. -
Go for the dinner but go for cheaper one.
Then use CPF to pay for the 20% deposit. -
get a hse first... then maybe u both can discuss how much u wanna set aside for the dinner. A hse is an asset no way both of u gonna regret it. at least u all have a roof over ur head and don have much to worry abt
Cheers!!!