stuck between 2 women
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YAR... point taken
SO NOW CAN YOU SEE HOW MUCH THIS HURTS UR WIFE?????
*glares*
btw. i think you actually might be doing mona a favour by leaving her. go figure.
you're hurting everyone around yoU!??!?!??!
CANYOUPLEASEGET IT INTO YOUR THICK SKULL?
i dunno how much brain matter's in ur skull.
but i trust you ahve a brain. even if it's pea size and only knows how to follow the lusts of the earth.
mona might be a siren. but you gonna hurt everyone cuz of that???
sigh... just dun understand earhtlings..... -
Dear Mr Ding,
You have repeatedly posted about the dilema caused by your infidelity. I really question the reason(s) behind your actions (both f***-ing around and posting your deeds here).
To boast? To get support? To get attention? To decide what to do based on posting by total strangers? Maybe to entertain us?
If there is any grey matter left between your brain (I'm assuming most of it has migrated to your other head), please think about the question below, maybe they can help you decide what you should do (assuming, again, your situation is real)
Q1) When your daughter grows up, would you rather she be your wife's shoes, or Mona's? Would you want your daughter to have an unfaithful husband or be someone who gets involved with married men?
Q2) What would you do to your future-son-in-law (assuming your daughter still considers you her dad and gets married to someone like yourself when she grows up ) if he cheats on your daughter?
happy thinkingOriginally posted by Ding Shanben:currently i'm married with a daughter less than 1 yr old and i had another gf outside whose name is Mona. my wife and i had been together for abt 18 yrs liao and kinda tired of her due to many factors. should i divorce my wife and be with Mona, or should i maintain my family and have a mistress outside? I know my wife kinda know i have another women outside cuz few night i did not come home liao, i was sleeping at Mona's house. she is keeping quiet i think i will tell her face to face later that i've another women outside. -
I will not watch Liu Jing Shui Yue anymore.Originally posted by Ding Shanben:currently i'm married with a daughter less than 1 yr old and i had another gf outside whose name is Mona. my wife and i had been together for abt 18 yrs liao and kinda tired of her due to many factors. should i divorce my wife and be with Mona, or should i maintain my family and have a mistress outside? I know my wife kinda know i have another women outside cuz few night i did not come home liao, i was sleeping at Mona's house. she is keeping quiet i think i will tell her face to face later that i've another women outside.
*chants- i will not watch liu jing shui yue anymore*
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you can fool around outside but make sure you don't get any biatches pregnant. go for a vasectomy so if any woman comes running to you saying she's pregnant, you have immunity.
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Originally posted by ilovemyrolex:
it's a very tough question but i would not want my daughter to get involve with a married if possible.
Dear Mr Ding,
You have repeatedly posted about the dilema caused by your infidelity. I really question the reason(s) behind your actions (both f***-ing around and posting your deeds here).
To boast? To get support? To get attention? To decide what to do based on posting by total strangers? Maybe to entertain us?
If there is any grey matter left between your brain (I'm assuming most of it has migrated to your other head), please think about the question below, maybe they can help you decide what you should do (assuming, again, your situation is real)
[b] Q1) When your daughter grows up, would you rather she be your wife's shoes, or Mona's? Would you want your daughter to have an unfaithful husband or be someone who gets involved with married men?
Q2) What would you do to your future-son-in-law (assuming your daughter still considers you her dad and gets married to someone like yourself when she grows up ) if he cheats on your daughter?
happy thinking
[/b] -
face up to the other questions!Originally posted by Ding Shanben:it's a very tough question but i would not want my daughter to get involve with a married if possible.
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as for the other one, i will castrate him if he play around with my daughter but my wife's father is 6 feet under so he can't castrate meOriginally posted by ilovemyrolex:face up to the other questions! -
maybe by then u cant even walk straight liao. lol! can oni watch ur daughter sleep with other married man but U!
i am going to have sweet pillow talk with my wife.
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u juz fook off n kill urself la...bugger...post say french wid gal kena slap feel guilty...another sae laid ur colleague feel guilty....now sae gt mistress outside nt guilty...wtf u wan here? get more attention issit....get a life n stop tokin cok here la...lame sia....full of shyts...Originally posted by Ding Shanben:currently i'm married with a daughter less than 1 yr old and i had another gf outside whose name is Mona. my wife and i had been together for abt 18 yrs liao and kinda tired of her due to many factors. should i divorce my wife and be with Mona, or should i maintain my family and have a mistress outside? I know my wife kinda know i have another women outside cuz few night i did not come home liao, i was sleeping at Mona's house. she is keeping quiet i think i will tell her face to face later that i've another women outside. -
Honestly, you shld start thinking abt your wife & not pay so much attention to your,ahem,desires. As they say, 'Don't think as if the brain is between your legs'.
Would you like it if your wife screws ard with other men?
And for God's sake, you have such a good wife (she doesn't question your whereabouts etc etc) ...why not you try to appreciate her more? Not all men out there are blessed with such an accomodating wife.
And OF COURSE, she keeps changing the subject whenever you bring up the subject of Mona. You don't need a degree in Psychology to figure out why.
Hope you'll get your priorities right. -
u got to consider carefully who u CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT WITH...if u tink it's oni responsibility tat made u continue wif ur wife..i feel tat u wun be happy n eventually "blame" her..if u feel tat u lov mona more than ur wife..jus go..dun drag too long..it would be v.painful for all the ppl ard uOriginally posted by Ding Shanben:currently i'm married with a daughter less than 1 yr old and i had another gf outside whose name is Mona. my wife and i had been together for abt 18 yrs liao and kinda tired of her due to many factors. should i divorce my wife and be with Mona, or should i maintain my family and have a mistress outside? I know my wife kinda know i have another women outside cuz few night i did not come home liao, i was sleeping at Mona's house. she is keeping quiet i think i will tell her face to face later that i've another women outside. -
Hi Ding. The Ding in the HK drama serial is such a Mr. NiceGuy. Why are you using his name as your nickname?
Anyway.. Seems to me that your wife is emotionally weak from the way she weeps and knows everything, and yet she is not reprimanding you but waiting for you to be back by her faithfully again. Has it ever occurred to you she may attempt suicide or jump off a building when one day she becomes too depressed over your infidelity? Look at what you have done to a woman who has loved you for so long... tsk tsk. I think you should go do some research and check out the reasons for suicide of women.. I am not cursing your wife ok...
And, you actually shoulder the thought of housing two women under the same room? hmmm... It is evident now that you have committed adultery and your wife can divorce you straightaway based on that, without any period of separation. Get ready the maintenance amount to pay her when that happens.
I am not flaming you, just warning you. Just don't want to see her do something silly over you. -
Originally posted by Ding Shanben:currently i'm married with a daughter less than 1 yr old and i had another gf outside whose name is Mona. my wife and i had been together for abt 18 yrs liao and kinda tired of her due to many factors. should i divorce my wife and be with Mona, or should i maintain my family and have a mistress outside? I know my wife kinda know i have another women outside cuz few night i did not come home liao, i was sleeping at Mona's house. she is keeping quiet i think i will tell her face to face later that i've another women outside.
People... please don't get too woke up over this post; seriously, it's not even worth any bit of anger. Clashes of morals resulted in different mindset - thank gawd that you ain't governing your life this way. (There are people I know worse) Start appreciating every little things now.
*** You had a fling in the past and said somewhere along the line that you are remorse over that matter previously - you probably realise that this statement is nothing but passing clouds in mind. Weak and not substantial.
Truth is, there are already subconscious plans for greener pastures. You didn't exercise that freewill probably because opportunity back then was faint and you could also be pressured to step into marriage with your now legal wife. Afterall, you have been dating her for very long and it is only 'socially and morally responsible' for you to marry her eventually.
Is it TRUELY born out of love? How much TRUELY left?... Bits and pieces...
I can see you see no point in this marriage, but still staying because of 'duty' and other external factors.
For what then?
If I was God and eliminate all the 'other factors' - you would have divorce her without hestitation.
You were insatisfied with your marriage and the way it was running, but you opt to seek fulfillment outside this love and you dare to claim all that doing was but her fault??
The fall of this love comes from your unwillingness to work things out from WITHIN.
P.S: To all affected souls of AA.... /me pat pat. (Esp. MCsquare)
Cheers -
Mr Ding, I really don't know the reason or purpose behind two posts in different forums bec I'm guessing everyone on this forum reads the latest posts, esp those posted by the same person.Originally posted by Ding Shanben:as for the other one, i will castrate him if he play around with my daughter but my wife's father is 6 feet under so he can't castrate me
Many of the posters from the previous post probably won't add to this one coz they've said their peace. Perhaps you are looking for some support since this is Aunt Agony.
Since this question was put to you by one of our fellow forumites, I'd like to add this for your consideration: If your daughter were to be as unfortunate as to get involved with a married man in future (and I hope not), assuming it's strictly for love and not money, think of just these two simple situations:
(a) She falls for a married man like you - hoping for a threesome, which is really the most cowardly way to settle your own problem bec you are only thinking of yourself
(b) She falls for a married man whom she knows is never going to leave his family and children for her - she will be alone on holidays and weekends; she will be left out of his family get-togethers, parties, lives. She will be nothing in anyone's eyes, anyone who is a part of the man's normal family life.
If it is the latter, do you know how painful that is going to be for her? If she has children out of this union, do you know how difficult this is going to be for her children, born out of wedlock, with a father who isn't around for them when normal, decent fathers would be for their families?
If you are a responsible father and family man thinking of keeping Mona as a mistress, if you really loved your mistress, do you want her to be miserable, unable to spend decent family time with you aside from the furtive, clandestine hours?
This sort of situation is extremely difficult for all parties involved. Your daughter is going to come of age in no time and she is going to understand and know what's going on. Is this one of the values you want to impart to her? That it's ok for her to share her man with another woman, that it's ok for her to go out with a married man? Do you really want your daughter to accept being second best in her life?
Women are intuitive by nature. Your wife knows what's happening, it's hurting her but she wants to keep her marriage and family together. She doesn't have just her pain to think of, she has your daughter to care for while you are out with Mona. I feel sad for your wife.. -
Mr Ding,
this is my first blog, i have seen many topics and none of the topics has ever push me to type. please heed our advise.
first, you must know what is yours and what is yet to be. your wife and your daughter is yours and especially your wife, who has been with you for 17 years. Mona is yet to be, even if she is, how can you be sure that thing will not repeat again after 17 years? so treasure what you have now. Around me, i have seen cases of such incident in my upper generation and i can tell you that eventually it will be a tradegy, to you and your descendants.
Secondly, i completely understand the suffering of being in a long term relationship, especially for your case, a 17 years. It is like eating pork everday. so sick.
hence when a relationship get longer, usually after 7 years, things will get boring in a relationship. so that is why it is best to get married after that, to start a new life. on top of that, if you have a child, you can transfer your love over to him as he is your own flash and blood.
i am sure that you love your child very much, every parent love their child, just like how your parents love you. i am sure you do not want your child to grow up in a broken family, there is some studies that say chilldren growing up in a brken family may have physcological problems.
so for the sake of your daughter, hang in there!!!
mona is just a crush, forget her. time will cure all wounds. as for your wife, i musr compliment her for being so understanding. think about it, how many woman is that generous? and i am sure she has alreadly forgive you for the sake of your daughter too, that is why she do not want to talk about it. it will remind her of unhappiness.
so please breakup with mona and don let it happen again. such relationship with mona will be the first but not the last. you must know how to handle them.
take care and good luck! -
Dear Mr Ding,
In my previous post, I mentioned to do your wife and children a favour and move far far away.
Whether you wish to do so with Mona or Not is entirely up to you.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Ding Shanben:how abt Mona? i am afraid she will get pregnant that's what she told me yesterday so both of are are using protection now. How can i leave Mona like this? I love her and she loves me. -
You are very lucky your wife is so stupid as to put up with your affair.
If it was me, I would have divorce u already, no 2nd chance.
U should treasure your wife, she put up with u all these years & be responsible to your kid.
Even if u go with your mistress, she might not stay with u. -
maybe she SHOULD divorce your lousy a$$ and squeeze you dry with alimony payments.
somehow, i think this cheating thing is just your pathetic fantasy.
my last post on your threads.
have a good life.Originally posted by gerrykoh:You are very lucky your wife is so stupid as to put up with your affair.
If it was me, I would have divorce u already, no 2nd chance.
U should treasure your wife, she put up with u all these years & be responsible to your kid.
Even if u go with your mistress, she might not stay with u. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Why esp me leh? *puzzled* People... please don't get too woke up over this post; seriously, it's not even worth any bit of anger. Clashes of morals resulted in different mindset - thank gawd that you ain't governing your life this way. (There are people I know worse) Start appreciating every little things now.
*** You had a fling in the past and said somewhere along the line that you are remorse over that matter previously - you probably realise that this statement is nothing but passing clouds in mind. Weak and not substantial.
[b]Truth is, there are already subconscious plans for greener pastures. You didn't exercise that freewill probably because opportunity back then was faint and you could also be pressured to step into marriage with your now legal wife. Afterall, you have been dating her for very long and it is only 'socially and morally responsible' for you to marry her eventually.
Is it TRUELY born out of love? How much TRUELY left?... Bits and pieces...
I can see you see no point in this marriage, but still staying because of 'duty' and other external factors.
For what then?
If I was God and eliminate all the 'other factors' - you would have divorce her without hestitation.
You were insatisfied with your marriage and the way it was running, but you opt to seek fulfillment outside this love and you dare to claim all that doing was but her fault??
The fall of this love comes from your unwillingness to work things out from WITHIN.
P.S: To all affected souls of AA.... /me pat pat. (Esp. MCsquare)
Cheers [/b]
Don't lie tat la...you want everybody to know is it.
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DSB, you are lowest of lowest of all lifeforms on this earth... lower than an one cell organism... i only wish you do your wife a favour by telling her to come up to this forum and let the community here advise her... its her who should and needs to be saved... not you...
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lowest please lar read this and you understand. my wife know liao lar and i promise her i will try to leave her.Originally posted by Vidvin:DSB, you are lowest of lowest of all lifeforms on this earth... lower than an one cell organism... i only wish you do your wife a favour by telling her to come up to this forum and let the community here advise her... its her who should and needs to be saved... not you...
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=124078&page=12 -
i have read and i do know that she's aware of your affair... i respect her decision to be 'understanding' even though i felt that she could have made a better decision not to be...
judging from what you typed to me...
"lowest please lar read this and you understand. my wife know liao lar and i promise her i will try to leave her."
its plain obvious how much determination and sincerity you are showing to her (and showing anything to us is no use, remember) to save your family and marriage...
its not 100%
why?
"i promise her i will TRY to leave her"
so its just a try???... you may not do so(?) you would not do so(?) you could not do so(?)
its no use getting us to answer you, we cant, its you who needs to answer to your wife, your daughter, Mona and yourself...
and if you make grey-area promises... you'll never find a way out of this mess... -
All i can say is that i really pity and feel sorry for your wife and daughter.
If you have a heart and is able to feel, please do the right thing.
If i were in your shoes, i would be happy with what i have now and cherish it. -
I say try is because i am afraid Mona will get pregnant. i told my wife that too because she ask me did you sleep with her and i say yes i did and i am realy afraid she will get pregnant. my wife and i both are at a lost also. after this incident is over i will be a faithful husband and NEVER touch any other women again except my wife. i swear to god i will leave Mona if Mona is not pregnant.Originally posted by Vidvin:i have read and i do know that she's aware of your affair... i respect her decision to be 'understanding' even though i felt that she could have made a better decision not to be...
judging from what you typed to me...
"lowest please lar read this and you understand. my wife know liao lar and i promise her i will try to leave her."
its plain obvious how much determination and sincerity you are showing to her (and showing anything to us is no use, remember) to save your family and marriage...
its not 100%
why?
"i promise her i will TRY to leave her"
so its just a try???... you may not do so(?) you would not do so(?) you could not do so(?)
its no use getting us to answer you, we cant, its you who needs to answer to your wife, your daughter, Mona and yourself...
and if you make grey-area promises... you'll never find a way out of this mess... -
Hi SBSK.. how's the fun? you no good lah, fool so many fellow forumers..Originally posted by Ding Shanben:I say try is because i am afraid Mona will get pregnant. i told my wife that too because she ask me did you sleep with her and i say yes i did and i am realy afraid she will get pregnant. my wife and i both are at a lost also. after this incident is over i will be a faithful husband and NEVER touch any other women again except my wife. i swear to god i will leave Mona if Mona is not pregnant.