no reason to live. seriously.
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there is nothing wrong with my image, it looks normal.Originally posted by browniebaobao:It's a virtual world afterall..sorry but to ask..is there anything wrong with your image? besides not smiling..
i smile all the time one, when meeting people, but the smile seems forceful? -
If really things are way more serious than it is.Originally posted by Congenial:initiate small talks?
wao, thats worst..
lots of people initiate small talks with me, but small talks are killers.
they will leaave me mentally unprepared, then i would stutter etc..
i shld really seek help. counselling or something.
if i go to psychologist, comfirm, those old fashion thinkers will think i am crazy or something..
It'll help you more to go see a professional then to worry about what the world would think.
In a long run...you'll benefit.
Consider about it. -
im sorry to say this but u sound a bit like my fave anti-hero, Adrian Mole, except that you don't seem as deluded as him.
my advice: go see a shrink. a good one.
regards -
Omg! you sound exactly like me.I almost thought I was talking to my replica,lolx. Yep,I do understand how you feel, but luckily, I have friends whom are like me and they understand how is it feels like being an introvert. We don't like opening up to people and we tend to pour our feelings with each other. I do also suffer a case of social anxiety. My lips especially, will quiver slightly whenever i'm around with strangers or just crowds.
My neck will also start to stiffen and I will sort of fall into 'statue' mode, not knowing how to reverse it to optimum status again. Like you, I was also shunned by many people and their eyes always seemingly filled with disgust and impatience. Because of that, my physiology will always be in a depressed/angsty state and this in turn affect how my whole body signals and looks like to other people. They can tell when you aren't in your state of confidence. Why? Because your body language has gave you away. Well anyway, I will be seeking a counsellor soon. I thought it was a good idea. I suggest that you should do the same. Please do not ever thought of suicide again.It's not worth it.
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Your whole attitude, directness and effectiveness needs to change. You have a weak frame.
pm me. Your situation is easy to solve. -
Don't care about what others think lah... If you feel that you need help, then you SHOULD go for it... If you don't go, then I think you're crazy ar.... If you don't even take care of yourself, who would?Originally posted by Congenial:if i go to psychologist, comfirm, those old fashion thinkers will think i am crazy or something..
Seeing a psychologist certainly don't necessarily mean that you're crazy... They see various types of patients... -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Don't care about what others think lah... If you feel that you need help, then you SHOULD go for it... If you don't go, then I think you're crazy ar.... If you don't even take care of yourself, who would?
Seeing a psychologist certainly don't necessarily mean that you're crazy... They see various types of patients...
Precisely. Somethings may be more complicated than people think. -
usually it depends mostly, OR solely on your appearance, its either u hv too much pimples, oily skin, fat, etc etc. try to clear them if u hv
nxt coz of ur "lonely" record, ppl tend to think ure a freak and wouldnt wanna get close to u, my suggestion is, start anew, find a new grp of ppl. ppl who hv nv seen u b4 or know u exist. there u can initiate conversations. or get a part time job, u MUST talkt o someone there, or how would u get ur job done?
for ur shyness, its one thing i cant help u. that u gotta do it urself. really theres nth to it. no one gives a damn if u acted like a fool or not. seriously, talking stupid things is really much better than being a mute.
not really sure if all these help, but hope it deos at least a lil -
seriously speaking, i last time got the same problem as you(well almost), but character wise is bout the same scen as you......but you really need to speak up, even most stupid thing also can.....i used to have this mental barrier also, but only recently i manage to break it as you can't live in the world alone......try to get small conversation, join their activities, don't go solo all the time
ps: frankly speaking, ns force me to intereact and so is my vocation. ever since i have the confident of talking to ppl -
yah,this phobia just suck..
yeah, i know i shld get help, but its just too difficult. i cant even speak in the phone, let alone meet the doctor.
i tried searching for new friends, as i thought it would be a fresh new start, but i was terribly wrong. i tought starting poly would give me hope, but no, it gave me hell, i was wrong, really wrong..
i would not consider suicide as i have known what causes my despair, as from last time i had always wondered what causes this crap, and now that i have known what causes it, i am now open to suggestions and hopefully go to the doc and improve myself.
and i would like to show my appreciation to the forumites who have been very warm and helpful. without this forum, i would not have known my condition.
thanks all..
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then how are u coping man?Originally posted by Oyster Omelette:Omg! you sound exactly like me.I almost thought I was talking to my replica,lolx. Yep,I do understand how you feel, but luckily, I have friends whom are like me and they understand how is it feels like being an introvert. We don't like opening up to people and we tend to pour our feelings with each other. I do also suffer a case of social anxiety. My lips especially, will quiver slightly whenever i'm around with strangers or just crowds.
My neck will also start to stiffen and I will sort of fall into 'statue' mode, not knowing how to reverse it to optimum status again. Like you, I was also shunned by many people and their eyes always seemingly filled with disgust and impatience. Because of that, my physiology will always be in a depressed/angsty state and this in turn affect how my whole body signals and looks like to other people. They can tell when you aren't in your state of confidence. Why? Because your body language has gave you away. Well anyway, I will be seeking a counsellor soon. I thought it was a good idea. I suggest that you should do the same. Please do not ever thought of suicide again.It's not worth it. -
friends will come in time. after you've been the same class for v long you're bound to find your own click. just try to talk to people more often and mix around or at the very least, be friendly with all your classmates. i was a little shy in pri and sec sch also but there's always bound to be a few friendly kids who will come talk to you. after a while you'll get to know everybody.
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You remind me of me.
Back when I was in Sec 3, my introvertness + my psuedo-Brit accent (due to my mixed parentage) ensured that a large proportion of my class hated me. They thought I was a snob at the least and an anti-social at the worst. Needless to say, I slipped into a general depression for a long time. It didn't help that I was also estranged with my father (still am, somewhat) and had financial problems to the extent that I often skipped lunch and people thought that I was anorexic (which further aggravated what others thought of me).
Finally I decided to wake up my ideas and come out of my shell. It took a long time, but eventually others came to accept me for who I am.
I know it's not easy to want to ask for help. It's perfectly understandable to have apprehension with regards to seeking for help.... you wonder what people may say about you, and you wonder if it's really an honourable thing to do instead of just trying to work things out by yourself.
Still, sometimes, you do need help. And it takes courage to recognise that you need help and actively seek it. After a close friend of mine took his own life I once again slipped into depression. It was so bad that I couldn't sleep well, eat well, and my health went downhill.
Yet I resisted seeking help for weeks until I finally decided to talk to a counsellor. She didn't solve my problems and bring him back to life, but I felt a lot better just letting it all out. I'm sure the same ought to apply to you. What's more, no one needs to know about it - only you and the counsellor knows that you sought counselling.
I'm sure your school ought to have some counselling resources or something. Talk to your lecturers.. they ought to refer you to the relevant people.
And lastly, I'm glad you are not thinking about suicide. Please don't take your own life.... It's a long way down to nothing at all. I still have my friend's soul weighing down on my conscience... I don't think I can handle two.
Good luck - do take good care of yourself. -
bleahs..
now people, u guys are getting the wrong ideas here..
my condition
i used to have my grp of friends.
but then i cant seem to talk cos anxious, nervous, etc
they are nice people who initiate conversations with me.
then i cannot talk to them cos u noe y..
then they are like
:how come u so strange one:
then we get distant.
that happens eveytime.
i can bet my life ard 99% if i meet one of u here, confirm u would say i am a strange boi..and u urself would be uncomfortable with me, thus..
then we grow distant.
then if i call u, u would be thinking "wad does this weird guy wants?"
because of that, i wont call u, and we grow more distant.
i have this persistant feeling people are looking at me all the time no matter how hard i shake it off..
then there was one time when i said some vulgarities. it was meant to be a joke, but my current condition is that, everything i say will come out in serious tone. that guy gt depressed.
i got really guilty, and even though i apologised and he accepted it, i got very depressed and i kept thinking aboutthe whole incident 24 hrs.
no matter how hard, i cant stop dwelling on such negative incidents. and i can even dwell it during meal times
i am super tensed, like what oyster omelette dude has said -
hi. u having the same prob as me. i oso no frenz. 0 ^^ since poly started like last year. but i tell u. life got many things other den frenz. those who snob u now, mayb in the future when u r successful, u can snob them back. my aim is to excel every1 who thinks lowly of me. n to prove to them tat not befrening me is their loss. don giveup. try harder
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i think the problem is, its not they who dont want befriend me.
the problem is, they think i don wan to befriend them.
ok we all dont deny that its very hard to communicate if u r speaking to a tensed, nervous, person..
try to visualise..
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thing is, i cant even open my mouth. i just cant. i get anxious, nervous, i just cant do it manz. hai, very hard to explain manz..Originally posted by phanta5y:ppl who hv nv seen u b4 or know u exist. there u can initiate conversations. or get a part time job, u MUST talkt o someone there, or how would u get ur job done? -
hey, i'm glad you found my previous post useful!Originally posted by Congenial:thing is, i cant even open my mouth. i just cant. i get anxious, nervous, i just cant do it manz. hai, very hard to explain manz..
the anxiety you are describing exactly fits the symptoms of sufferers of social phobia. some people get it much worse - they keep themselves isolated at home for days, only opening the door to maybe the pizza guy. i think you going to school must be a daily challenge?
and a challenge you manage to have succeeded in battling
like i said, there is no shame in having this condition. do approach a doctor to check if its a chemical imbalance? if you need any help locating a doctor or understanding the procedures just pm me ok? i dont bite =)
ps: im not a 'dude'! -
arr, sorry, dint realise that gurl nick in front..Originally posted by gurlndignant:hey, i'm glad you found my previous post useful!
the anxiety you are describing exactly fits the symptoms of sufferers of social phobia. some people get it much worse - they keep themselves isolated at home for days, only opening the door to maybe the pizza guy. i think you going to school must be a daily challenge?
and a challenge you manage to have succeeded in battling
like i said, there is no shame in having this condition. do approach a doctor to check if its a chemical imbalance? if you need any help locating a doctor or understanding the procedures just pm me ok? i dont bite =)
ps: im not a 'dude'!
yeah, school is a hassle for me. if not for school, i would be in my room 24 hrs, really, that wad happened in the holidays.
yeah, out of my 7 modules, i got 4 warning letter oredi, teachers classmates think i slack, but they dont know the truth.. -
I used to be like u... not confident and insecure of myself. But there all change when learn to have alittle more confident in myself.
Have some confident in yourself.
It's good to have some hobbies. Try taking up some and see a doc to learn how to cope with your situation. I don't think we can really help u here except to lend a listening ear and giving some advices. -
try taking up a hobby, and when you are very passionate about it, it vcan help you meet like-minded people and you wont feel that you have nothing to talk about.
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Congenial u are not slack and i'm sure your teachers know that,Originally posted by Congenial:arr, sorry, dint realise that gurl nick in front..
yeah, school is a hassle for me. if not for school, i would be in my room 24 hrs, really, that wad happened in the holidays.
yeah, out of my 7 modules, i got 4 warning letter oredi, teachers classmates think i slack, but they dont know the truth..
they are trying to make u focus on your studies
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Nothing wrong to eat alone in the canteen.In fact,I prefer to eat alone as I can enjoy my food and have some peace.Probably the part I want to avoid is friends' saliva getting into my food.
Having 1 great friend is better than 984651351654 friends.
Nothing much to add,below pretty sums up everything:
Like what others said,you have low self-esteem. -
Yep,i'm coping quite fine now. I'm now having my school holidays currently and waiting for my aunt to call me to meet up with my counsellor. Heh, don't worry, look around you, many people have suffer under the same circumstances. I actually heard that extroverts take up 60% of the world, that's why introverts are usually unacceptable in society.Originally posted by Congenial:then how are u coping man? -
Congenial i think i have the problem..above u mention but i am getting better now....be more confident..i mean..ppl love to see smiley face but dun force urself to smile coz that will make ppl detest u..as ppl will think like meeting them is kena force..relax..think positive,be bold...and that's wat i do to overcome my problem..and and..i think i oso have a friend wif similar problem like u..he doesnt like to tok..dunno why..but i always initiate to tok to him..slowly,he begin to tok to me liao..haha seems like i have change him sometimes u do nid some caring frenz around u to change u...n u say u look normal..all the more u should behave normal rite..
anyway..someone says that it take 4 muscle to sulk..and 2 muscle to smile..so y not use the 2 muscle and smile..a smile can heal many many things..o.o am i toking crap here?