No reply from girl, why lei?
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want us to delude him , tell him got chance la. he does'nt want honest answers. just encouragement to keep him believing in his beliefs....Originally posted by FeowFeow:Kindly be reminded tt u were the 1 asking for our views, so how can u blame us for giving u our honest opinions?
U asked for it, we gave it to u, then it's ur choice wat u wanna do oredi wat
FeowFeow -
L-)
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Originally posted by Axelheat755:lol but aint u the one who can't wait and wants to send flowers to her office so eagerly today?
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He wans to continue waiting, his choice lorr! But make it sound like we're @ fault for wat?
If he doesn't wan honest opinions, then dun ask lorr!
It irritates me when pple ask for advice, then when u give it to them, they turn ard & point fingers @ u
I dun like to scold pple in AA & try Not to do so, but sometimes hor, can't help it
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Axelheat755:want us to delude him , tell him got chance la. he does'nt want honest answers. just encouragement to keep him believing in his beliefs.... -
Doesn't he feel that he is being a menace to the girl, so-called he likes? He is behaving so immature and selfish in a way now. If the girl needs any reason to reject him, this will be a good reason! Only thinking about himself... His so-called beliefs!
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well said ... i guess this is our job .. only to advise but if he choose that path .. we are not in responsbile ... this is his choice ...Originally posted by FeowFeow:He wans to continue waiting, his choice lorr! But make it sound like we're @ fault for wat?
If he doesn't wan honest opinions, then dun ask lorr!
It irritates me when pple ask for advice, then when u give it to them, they turn ard & point fingers @ u
I dun like to scold pple in AA & try Not to do so, but sometimes hor, can't help it
FeowFeow
ppl who turn ard and point fingers are LOSER!!!!! -
I think you guys must be mistaken. I respect your opinions and did not imply any fault whatsoever. Sorry if you misunderstood.
I do cherish all you advices but i also need to know how to integrate all that advices into my current needs. -
Originally posted by clarion:I think you guys must be mistaken. I respect your opinions and did not imply any fault whatsoever. Sorry if you misunderstood.
I do cherish all you advices but i also need to know how to integrate all that advices into my current needs.
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lolOriginally posted by Devil1976:
devil always points out the crux of the topics
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Hello...
FeowFeow and the other forumnitesare providing some insights to what the lady might be thinking.
However, we dun have the answers. The lady has.
It's also possible that the lady is holding back so that she has the time to think things through.
Imagine an ex-model and eligible guy coming up to a girl telling her that he likes her. It's flattering but will prob need some time to evaluate/ do some thinking. Maybe due to age/ past experience. (Why her? Not younger girls? Is he serious or toying with her feelings?) Is it wrong to wait for someone he/she likes?
It's not about a case where she has expressed disinterest. If she has, then he prob has to move on. He is not pestering her but giving her space and time to consider. Sometimes an answer is all we need to move on..
2cents..
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I agree with wat you said. But, sometimes, a non-response is also an answer itself. It juz make me ponder why din Clarion treat it as a negative response? Instead, all his msgs here lead us thinking that he is pressing her for an answer. He emailed, sms, or msn her juz to get an answer. hmm...Originally posted by timble:Hello...
FeowFeow and the other forumnitesare providing some insights to what the lady might be thinking.
However, we dun have the answers. The lady has.
It's also possible that the lady is holding back so that she has the time to think things through.
Imagine an ex-model and eligible guy coming up to a girl telling her that he likes her. It's flattering but will prob need some time to evaluate/ do some thinking. Maybe due to age/ past experience. (Why her? Not younger girls? Is he serious or toying with her feelings?) Is it wrong to wait for someone he/she likes?
It's not about a case where she has expressed disinterest. If she has, then he prob has to move on. He is not pestering her but giving her space and time to consider. Sometimes an answer is all we need to move on..
2cents..
hopefully, she will give him answer soon... -
Sometimes the answer is obvious...
Yah lor... hope she is not the wishy washy kind like me. hehe
The song Zhi2 Mi2 Bu4 Hui3 just struck a chord in me. I am just so stubborn and proud to give in to him.. My bf is on his way to meet another girl now. I feel like stopping him. I dun even know where dun even know if I should cos i can't give him happiness.
Clairon, Sorry to hijack your thread. -
You've provided an harsh point of view, however it is needed in this thread(IMO).Originally posted by ILPSY:I agree with wat you said. But, sometimes, a non-response is also an answer itself. It juz make me ponder why din Clarion treat it as a negative response? Instead, all his msgs here lead us thinking that he is pressing her for an answer. He emailed, sms, or msn her juz to get an answer. hmm...
hopefully, she will give him answer soon...
I kinda like how the ladies get involved in this thread from page 7 onwards. These are the basic truths from the opposite sex themselves. How far wrong can it go when three or more girls agrees to their opinions?
Clarion and antoh have similiar thoughts and beliefs at this moment.
These thread is specifically for them.
Sound advices guys and girls. Nice job.
Cheers -
Well I have made it very clear to her that it is alright to tell me her disinterest. I would not hold it against her nor feel unhappy about it. This i repeated several times using several mediums.Originally posted by timble:Hello...
FeowFeow and the other forumnitesare providing some insights to what the lady might be thinking.
However, we dun have the answers. The lady has.
It's also possible that the lady is holding back so that she has the time to think things through.
Imagine an ex-model and eligible guy coming up to a girl telling her that he likes her. It's flattering but will prob need some time to evaluate/ do some thinking. Maybe due to age/ past experience. (Why her? Not younger girls? Is he serious or toying with her feelings?) Is it wrong to wait for someone he/she likes?
It's not about a case where she has expressed disinterest. If she has, then he prob has to move on. He is not pestering her but giving her space and time to consider. Sometimes an answer is all we need to move on..
2cents..
I believe in a way she is still thinking about it and like what TauTao said in the beiginning, she will be in a difficult position if she answer yes or no. We have to remember we are dealing with a 36 year old lady that is experienced and mature in thinking, for her to be coy and just ignore a person in the hope he gets a hint is nigh unlikely in my opinion. In fact she very much has the upper hand in the matter just by the fact that she is older than her pursuer.
I think she is perhaps waiting to see if a better man comes along after all we both met at dating event..... -
Originally posted by clarion:
Haha... Clarion, your humility becomes you but you shouldn't have put yourself down so. She may have the upper hand in maturity, but you have the upper hand in time. You could wait, but she... (my apologies to the lady if she happens to read this)
In fact she very much has the upper hand in the matter just by the fact that she is older than her pursuer.
Well let's just say that you don't have to let that disadvantage hamstring your performance when you're with her. Be confident. -
I did very much wanted to send her the flowers today to her office. I had already prepared a nice note, nice stationary etc...but like my previous posts and advice from some of the forumers, i decided to hold back for now to give her some breathng space. If i were to force her to say something when she is not ready, the results would be predictable. But, i have not given up on this idea yet, everything is still in place for later when i feel that it has been long enough.
Other than that, like what timble say, i need an answer to move on...i can handle rejection, i am not new to it. Weather it be, "best of luck", "not keen", etc etc nothing i have not heard before. This is what i have been empahsisng to her over the past few days, but nope nudda nothing from her.
Flowers is not meant as a show or anything along the lines, it is just to "encourage" her to react thats all, as her collegues will most likely pour themselves all over her and she would be obliged to do something abt it. -
I already assured her that age is no barrier to a sucessful relationship...but of course she must have her own thoughts or insecurities about it too.Originally posted by Tuatau:Haha... Clarion, your humility becomes you but you shouldn't have put yourself down so. She may have the upper hand in maturity, but you have the upper hand in time. You could wait, but she... (my apologies to the lady if she happens to read this)
Well let's just say that you don't have to let that disadvantage hamstring your performance when you're with her. Be confident. -
To look at it on a lighter side...while we are all here sawing and hemming away this lady could be relaxing, with me never in her mind.....hahahah
Irony....thats life for all the fuss and stress i am going through she migh be out having a dream date...haizzz my dear...if you are reading this...the bottom line is when u have decided please please speak out and tell me please...no one can read your mind. -
Sometimes the answer is obvious.. she can't decide?
I 'm offering another view point tat she cld also be thinking a lot like me.
Just sharing... personally hesitated for quite sometime (1/2 to a year) before I started out w my bf...
I didn't believe in love then... seen so many guys switched "target" so easily and within such a short time (from weeks to months)... so was thinking time will tell whether a guy is sincere...
But I was scared off by a guy who openly says that he likes me.. avoiding him and go through great lengths to make him give up.. end up.. regretting 2 yrs later. huo gai..
I may be wrong though.. still very immature in my thinking. I have no bright idea to offer. -
Well during our conversation we did broach on the subject of starting a family etc. She did seem to be worried that with her age and everything it would be quite "rush" for her...if you take into account courtship 1-2 years then marriage, you are looking at 38 by the time u start trying so you know +- it is quite a tight thingy.Originally posted by Tuatau:Haha... Clarion, your humility becomes you but you shouldn't have put yourself down so. She may have the upper hand in maturity, but you have the upper hand in time. You could wait, but she... (my apologies to the lady if she happens to read this)
But then i did tell her even if we were never be able to have children i was fine with it so long as i knew she loved me...
Some of these details i chose to omit, to protect our privacy...but now you forumers can see even though we met only once...we did had a very serious discussion..... -
You sound very mature to me....who is experienced when it comes to affairs of the heart? Unless we are Don Juans or Cassonova...where we can flirt and practise on a daily affair.
I may be wrong though.. still very immature in my thinking. I have no bright idea to offer.
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For most of us we might be good at our jobs, sports etc because of repetition but how many of us have repetitions of relationships? Or enough to make us very experienced.....hiazzzz -
Tks for your kind words. Think so much, yet still decide to go with my feelings
This relationship has made me realised how selfish and horrible I can be, esp with my words. I tried to be Wei3 Da4.. but can't do it. Time will heal...but that will be one more scar... would I still dare try again?:I -
Dun ever give up no matter how many times u fall....it is harder in practise, but we need the other half to make us whole.....
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Originally posted by timble:
If the scar could help a person remember the lesson and become wiser, then you should not be afraid of getting more scars. Perhaps one day when you meet another with about as many scars as you, the relationship might benefit all the more from those scars.
Time will heal...but that will be one more scar... would I still dare try again?:I -
I'll think abt it later... with my character it's going to be hard. How many years do we have to experiment? Read Deadpoet's post about "Not much Time left".. I tend to agree... my task now is to try to be a happy, independent person and a truly nice person.
Someone told me before... grief and lost is part of life. A loving couple will still eventually have to part. So must learn something to keep yourself occupied till old age. And of cos save lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$...