My gf cheated on me...
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Food for thought:
"You are a good- hearted man
In love with a good timing woman;
You love her in spite of her wicked ways
That she don't understand......"
Hi dear.....At least you discover before marriage...... it will be completely disastrous
if it happens after marriage....the pain and suffering will be 100Xs greater....
.....trust once lost is veri difficult to recover and both parties have to work
veri veri hard to recover what has been lost...not that is is totally impossible thou'
.... just a lot of time/ love/ fogiveness - i mean really really forgive .....
Not worth going thru that shit unless you guys are married. my personal opinion! -
Originally posted by drx:
"never put all your eggs into one basket"
taught to me by a love guru.
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Interesting.
Then how is it that a person can fully experience love? Or loving another?
I wish to hear your views.
Sorry hor was busy
The idea is to actually look out for girls even when you are in a relationship.
What i trying to say is that, just be friends with other girls, not bed them hor, never put all your time and energy on one person no matter how much you love him or her.
When a good guy is in love he tends to put 100% into the relationship, all his free time is spend on the gf, never look at other gals but in the end if the girl betray him he got no place to go. He will have no more friends to depend on cos he had dump them all due to the girl.
what i am suggesting is that to put 80% of love to the girl u like and 20% on the look out for gals who can be your next target in case it fails, just be friends with the potentials once you find them but never say you like them.
Friends are important as they will be there for you when u are in need, all through out your life. -
like to add on to drx points,by applying his method, you will be not so attached to the relationship. This is to protect yourself from utterly hurt if anything like this above stated example happen.Originally posted by drx:Originally posted by drx:
"never put all your eggs into one basket"
taught to me by a love guru.
________________________________________
Interesting.
Then how is it that a person can fully experience love? Or loving another?
I wish to hear your views.
Sorry hor was busy
The idea is to actually look out for girls even when you are in a relationship.
What i trying to say is that, just be friends with other girls, not bed them hor, never put all your time and energy on one person no matter how much you love him or her.
When a good guy is in love he tends to put 100% into the relationship, all his free time is spend on the gf, never look at other gals but in the end if the girl betray him he got no place to go. He will have no more friends to depend on cos he had dump them all due to the girl.
what i am suggesting is that to put 80% of love to the girl u like and 20% on the look out for gals who can be your next target in case it fails, just be friends with the potentials once you find them but never say you like them.
Friends are important as they will be there for you when u are in need, all through out your life.
Of course, there is always 2 sided to a coin. If you used this method, you will not be hurt that much.but the cons is that you do not give 100% of your love, and like I say, you will not be attached to the relationship and may not treasure it as a result.
Bear in mind. -
Originally posted by drx:Originally posted by drx:
"never put all your eggs into one basket"
taught to me by a love guru.
________________________________________
Interesting.
Then how is it that a person can fully experience love? Or loving another?
I wish to hear your views.
Sorry hor was busy
The idea is to actually look out for girls even when you are in a relationship.
What i trying to say is that, just be friends with other girls, not bed them hor, never put all your time and energy on one person no matter how much you love him or her.
When a good guy is in love he tends to put 100% into the relationship, all his free time is spend on the gf, never look at other gals but in the end if the girl betray him he got no place to go. He will have no more friends to depend on cos he had dump them all due to the girl.
what i am suggesting is that to put 80% of love to the girl u like and 20% on the look out for gals who can be your next target in case it fails, just be friends with the potentials once you find them but never say you like them.
Friends are important as they will be there for you when u are in need, all through out your life.
So in the end it's explaining the means of going thru this method but not tell me how a person could experience true love and giving love by using this method.
Let me rephrase my question.
: Can this person you've suggested above truly love another person and in turn know what love is?
Keep in mind of the 'right one' or 'the one' mindset as the same time so that you won't contridict this present teaching from the guru. -
I can't believe all my phrasing in this post when so screwed. Let me editing it for better understanding.Originally posted by heavenlyfire:like to add on to drx points,by applying his method, you will be not so attached to the relationship. This is to protect yourself from utterly hurt if anything like this above stated example happen.
Of course, there is always 2 sided to a coin. If you used this method, you will not be hurt that much.but the cons is that you do not give 100% of your love, and like I say, you will not be attached to the relationship and may not treasure it as a result.
Bear in mind.
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I personally think that it is not a method unless the person have made it a value he must keep. A robot?
Human are emotional and bound to reflect alot upon feelings.
The sacrifice one can give cannot be conformed into mere methods.
It varies i guess.
I may be wrong. However it is interesting to know this point of view.
Love begets fulfillment and satisfaction.
To me, it's either protect yourself or be offered as a prize.
To put it crudely, there is no such thing as half-F***
Cheers -
can give example ? a bit too chim for me
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I think relationship is a gamble. You have to have high stakes to get high returns, vice versa. But of course, if you are unlucky, you may end up losing all your high stakes. To me, being 100% devoted and 100% faithful to your partner is not a wrong thing to do.Originally posted by heavenlyfire:like to add on to drx points,by applying his method, you will be not so attached to the relationship. This is to protect yourself from utterly hurt if anything like this above stated example happen.
Of course, there is always 2 sided to a coin. If you used this method, you will not be hurt that much.but the cons is that you do not give 100% of your love, and like I say, you will not be attached to the relationship and may not treasure it as a result.
Bear in mind. -
Can the above truly love another person and in turn know what love is?Originally posted by drx:Originally posted by drx:
"never put all your eggs into one basket"
taught to me by a love guru.
can give example ? a bit too chim for me -
haiz.....
the past can't hurt u unless u let it do so.
cheated you were but that was in the past. never mind what happened in the past, what's important is what's gonna happen in the future. treat it as a lesson learnt. a heavy price to pay; perhaps, but that's if u dun learnt from this lesson. good luck to you fellow forumite, may peace be with you, always.Originally posted by arrggh:
and I broke off with her immediately. All these while, she was[b] making out with another guy behind my back. I love her so much and gave my all to her. I miss her now and really want to have her back. I can forgive her for what she had done although I know that she's not worth it. But i really love her.. gave all my best to her. For the past few days, I'd been crying and wailing.. and if not for my friends who held me back, I would have ran towards an on-coming car. I am so used to having her around me and it seems so weird suddenly these days. We haven't been contacting each other and I'm really struggling to resist calling her. I am really scared of getting involved in another relationship... i know that i need to move on with life but I find it so hard to without having her around me... I'm regretting to have broke off with her and I really want her back.. I can forgive and forget all that she had done if she repents and promises not to do it again.. I really love her.. I have committed too much into this relationship and I'm really finding it hard to let it go suddenly....[/b] -
yup, it is not wrong. but the hurt is there, in another one similiar post I mentioned that this distrust is most likely to be carried over to the next relationship.Originally posted by arrggh:I think relationship is a gamble. You have to have high stakes to get high returns, vice versa. But of course, if you are unlucky, you may end up losing all your high stakes. To me, being 100% devoted and 100% faithful to your partner is not a wrong thing to do.
that is why you heard of unreasonable gf or bf who demand them to be totally cut off with their friends of the opposite sex, for they fear that history repeat itself.
I not encouraging ppl not to give their 100%, I just add on, give the pro and cons. -
Being too sticky to your gf is indeed disastrous. When my ex betrayed me for another guy, I couldnt take it, seriously so suffering to accept the fact that she dump me for another guy. I am lucky cos there are a couple of friends standing by my side encouraging me to move on. Virtually lost contact or drifted apart from most of my friends when I am with her.
I believe in karma too. The one who betray you may be enjoying with her new bf right now but how long can it last when approaching a turning point?
I learnt from my mistakes too. Balance yourself alittle between loving your gf as well as loving your friends.
Just tell yourself, time will, shall and must heal. From now onwards, you will walk towards your dream all by yourself. She has diverted to another route. To all who have suffered through this ordeal, take good care. -
Wow...
I thought i am the only unlucky person in this world,giving 100% to a relationship,being faithful,i stay away from girls that hint me and what did i get in return?
end up betraying my trust.....
I have a car,so what?
Others have sport car..
I able to buy a HDB,so what?
Others able to affort condos....
I have a job getting good salary,so what?
Others have high pay salary..
I can even pay a 4 HDB house alone and spend the rest of my life with her without using her CPF
She left me because of "No feeling" and end up having another relationship with a guy driving a cheap subaru that "look" nice..
And that guy of her look like gorilla..
HATE HER is all you can do... -
Originally posted by BaByBoY:gosh
master yun,
perhaps u might like to explain why ur fren did this too??
Our Topic starter didn't answer my P.S question, but its ok, I have my ways to know eventually.
*** Why she did it? Namely, having sex with other guys consciously? (Despite having a bf)
I spoke alot about freewill and spoken to many people regarding their interpersonal relationships, be it here or in reality. Usually those that approached are in some form of stagnation, agony, intense anger, betrayal or whatsoever. However, bottomline is, they are all emotionally troubled and needed some form of answers to ease their burden.
She is different.
She knows something is wrong with her, but she CHOSE to do what that will continue to increase the dosage of pain, in her already screwed-up life. In her birth chart, she display the influence of an extremist, very powerful afflicted Scorpio traits and worsen by the current plantary transition. As mention before, I usually don't check out a person astrologically unless I have no other means or some big-sh!t. She approached me and keep asking me questions regarding astrology and unconsciously I saw something.
Told her to avoid alcohol and she says no way. Gradually, she spurt everything out.
And the reason to resist wisdom is that she feels that she is a flirt and needed to exercise that negativity to full extend. In reality, she is trying to numb her pain with pain, a complete foolish way of doing things. People indulge in different things when they are stressed or emotionally despair - some into drugs, some pick up smoking and she? Into guilt sex.
*** Reading through some of the posts being posted, it's interesting to note how guys who WILL feel a sense of regret or 'why-the-fark-do-I-have-to-be-so-good?' when they themselves had done the right thing in their relationship, only to see that their relationship ultimately failed to a third party or fallen into the clutches of infidelity?
Should have do this? Should have screw the other girl? Should have maintain more than one girlfriend? Should have... should have...
You mean you would be so much happier (or more 'profitable in any sense) doing wrong to your relationship? Even if you would know beforehand that your love would do you wrong?
What's wrong about giving yourself into the relationship? What's the fringing` thing about been good to your love only to find him/her betraying you ultimately?
YOU chose the relationship.
YOU did the right thing.
SO what's the issue here, apart from discovering that your love isn't what you thought he/she is to be. Afterall, we are learning something new about our relationship each new day. Like bread to be remade...renew. (Kinda different if you already know that your love IS like that... then who's to blame? You accepted the relationship anyway)
This is the Ego of a man.
When you are hurt, you begin to reason with yourself and come out with all sort of strange theories that serve to protect you only. Your wisdom is only limited to THAT of protecting yourself and not WHY and HOW? If you were to allow this scenario to bring out the other side of you (whatever it may be), you will only come to realise that eventually, you still have to return back to here IF you desire a fulfilling relationship. Since you discover that she is not meant to be, that doesn't mean others ain't.
P.S: Two wrong doesn't make one right.
Cheers -
But I thought you've already made your MOVEOriginally posted by arrggh:she was initially shocked that the guy spilled out the truth.. and then she cried..
but i have invested so much in this relationship.. isn't it a waste for it to go to naught?
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
learned something here Reading through some of the posts being posted, it's interesting to note how guys who WILL feel a sense of regret or 'why-the-fark-do-I-have-to-be-so-good?' when they themselves had done the right thing in their relationship, only to see that their relationship ultimately failed to a third party or fallen into the clutches of infidelity?
Should have do this? Should have screw the other girl? Should have maintain more than one girlfriend? Should have... should have...
You mean you would be [b]so much happier (or more 'profitable in any sense) doing wrong to your relationship? Even if you would know beforehand that your love would do you wrong?
What's wrong about giving yourself into the relationship? What's the fringing` thing about been good to your love only to find him/her betraying you ultimately?
YOU chose the relationship.
YOU did the right thing.
SO what's the issue here, apart from discovering that your love isn't what you thought he/she is to be. Afterall, we are learning something new about our relationship each new day. Like bread to be remade...renew. (Kinda different if you already know that your love IS like that... then who's to blame? You accepted the relationship anyway)
This is the Ego of a man.
When you are hurt, you begin to reason with yourself and come out with all sort of strange theories that serve to protect you only. Your wisdom is only limited to THAT of protecting yourself and not WHY and HOW? If you were to allow this scenario to bring out the other side of you (whatever it may be), you will only come to realise that eventually, you still have to return back to here IF you desire a fulfilling relationship. Since you discover that she is not meant to be, that doesn't mean others ain't.
P.S: Two wrong doesn't make one right.
Cheers [/b]
we should always do our best if we truely love
the results, no matter wat happens, will happen
If i can predict the future....
I`ll buy 4D..
kekekekeke -
girl is hard to understand creature, maybe you still do not really understand what she wants, or you cannot fulfill what she wants. nevermind, take a break, find new fresh air.
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dude...shes nt worth ur time...get along wif ur life...it'll b hard...but take it slow n steady! u'll c e exit sooner or later!
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arggg so how ar u getting along
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In short, Girl prefer polygamy sex. Boy expect spiritual love.
Yin yang cant join, nothing can be attain. -
Dear Arrggh,
You have my sympathies. It's Not that I don't feel for you, but let me share with you an experience.
I've cheated on someone before (Not gonna go into details, but suffice to say, I've felt bad eversince, & it's Not something I'm proud of... Perhaps I had No idea then...). That person, I would say, loved me so much, he forgave me.
1 of his friends asked him this question: Are you sure she's worth it? You're gonna have your heart broken again if she cheats on you again, you know?
His reply? If she does it again, then I probably won't be able to forgive her, but right now, I still think she's worth it.
If you really want her back, you want to forgive her & give her another chance, then perhaps you may Not want to already convince yourself that she isn't worth it?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by arrggh:and I broke off with her immediately. All these while, she was making out with another guy behind my back. I love her so much and gave my all to her. I miss her now and really want to have her back. I can forgive her for what she had done although I know that she's not worth it. But i really love her.. gave all my best to her. For the past few days, I'd been crying and wailing.. and if not for my friends who held me back, I would have ran towards an on-coming car. I am so used to having her around me and it seems so weird suddenly these days. We haven't been contacting each other and I'm really struggling to resist calling her. I am really scared of getting involved in another relationship... i know that i need to move on with life but I find it so hard to without having her around me... I'm regretting to have broke off with her and I really want her back.. I can forgive and forget all that she had done if she repents and promises not to do it again.. I really love her.. I have committed too much into this relationship and I'm really finding it hard to let it go suddenly.... -
time will heal the pain, it will take a while but u will b ok.
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I understand how you feel .... in fact we r in he same boat ... only different is she's my wife ... forget her she will never change ... I confronted my wife 3 times and every time she said she will stop but in the end she still do it .... I can't eat , sleep and work ....Originally posted by arrggh:and I broke off with her immediately. All these while, she was making out with another guy behind my back. I love her so much and gave my all to her. I miss her now and really want to have her back. I can forgive her for what she had done although I know that she's not worth it. But i really love her.. gave all my best to her. For the past few days, I'd been crying and wailing.. and if not for my friends who held me back, I would have ran towards an on-coming car. I am so used to having her around me and it seems so weird suddenly these days. We haven't been contacting each other and I'm really struggling to resist calling her. I am really scared of getting involved in another relationship... i know that i need to move on with life but I find it so hard to without having her around me... I'm regretting to have broke off with her and I really want her back.. I can forgive and forget all that she had done if she repents and promises not to do it again.. I really love her.. I have committed too much into this relationship and I'm really finding it hard to let it go suddenly.... -
i'm sad for you.but since its done let it remain in the past no use brooding over it.
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You mean you didn't learn that all these while?Originally posted by BaByBoY:learned something here
we should always do our best if we truely love
the results, no matter wat happens, will happen
If i can predict the future....
I`ll buy 4D..
kekekekeke -
but its not easy to get over it........ love her so much and she did behind your backOriginally posted by stellazio:i'm sad for you.but since its done let it remain in the past no use brooding over it.