Is a guy who used verbal abuse on his gf, worth holding on?
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Verbal abuse is peanuts compare to physical abuse. Used to have this friend of mine who beat the shit out of his gf. Make her all blue black on the eye. She is so damn pretty somemore... made me feel pissed off. But what can i do ? its thier problem ma.. had to kick them outta the car when they fighting behind my car.. to cut the story short... my friend end up fighting with me. I beat the shit out of the guy but in the end i kena blame by the gf. holy shit man... talk about f*ked up!
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Damn well said!! Girls, pay attention!!Originally posted by Fatum:you know what's the keyword in your narrative, sweetevil ? it's "five years " ...... we humans have a tendency to cling on to the unplesant present because we fear the unknown outside .... sorry if this comes off harsh, but the only reason you're still holding onto such an abusive jerk is because he is a "known" quality, which is preferable to the great unknown of singlehood eh ? .... i'm sure you've heard the german anecdote of the frog who was put into a pot of water and was slowly boiled to death eh ? ... just let go girl ... it's not about you loving him here ... it's about you being afraid to let go ! .... deep down inside, you probably do want to get out of this too, don't you ? ....
Just take the leap ... singapore doesn't suffer from such a paucity of nice, decent guys that you won't be able to find your true soul mate .... Best wishes ... -
Wa u sibei suey man... my heart goes out 2 u... why are they in ya car n e way?Originally posted by BadzMaro:Verbal abuse is peanuts compare to physical abuse. Used to have this friend of mine who beat the shit out of his gf. Make her all blue black on the eye. She is so damn pretty somemore... made me feel pissed off. But what can i do ? its thier problem ma.. had to kick them outta the car when they fighting behind my car.. to cut the story short... my friend end up fighting with me. I beat the shit out of the guy but in the end i kena blame by the gf. holy shit man... talk about f*ked up! -
your bf is insecure... and it is not because of you.
he will still be insecure even if h is with another woman less worthy of him or isnt the least pretty.
this is his problem by the way and have absolutely nothing to do with you. having said that ...
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO CARRY ON LIKE THIS WITH HIM?
your problem - you hold onto the past .. and what you believe are the right qualities.
people change, like you said. so you should review the relationship in question. maybe it is time for things to change too.
question - how will you feel if he continue with his ways?
will you still be able to hold your head up high as a woman?
can you live like that with him?
if not, it is time to let go and move on. -
surely her friends want the best for herOriginally posted by nOrmalbOi:p/s: u need to check ur frens too... seem like a shallow bunch to me
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Is he your first bf?
if not how many bf did u have before him? -
using vulgarities is due to the way he is, it doesn't matter if its his gf he's talking to, or his parents he's talking to, if he's used to using it, it doesn't make a difference to him. However, he SHOULD try to refrain from using them, and MAKE a point to try. if he's not doing that, then its not really tat great.
Try talking out with him, settle this together, tell him that u're sick and tired of him treating u this way, and if things don't change, you'll have no choice but to find someone else better. -
yeah, but they want looks, thats not really what u mean by "looking out for her"Originally posted by nuchio:surely her friends want the best for her -
He is my third and longest boyfriend by far. Anyway, he just called to apologize for the mistakes he had made and talked to me really nicely. I don't know what else to say to him because my feelings are already numbed. Sometimes, I think that I really am too soft hearted. no? I know he still loves me, but why the verbal abuse? Makes me wonder.. because if you really love the girl and afraid to lose her, you will refrain from doing that to hurt her right? Maybe I have not retaliated perhaps thats why he took it for granted time and time again since I always keep forgiving him. Whenever i argued with him on the slightest thing till one point I actually questioned myself if we're still loving. No doubt that we're still going on strong but perhaps its just happens that he's on one of his foul moods and said things without sparing a thought for me.Originally posted by drx:Is he your first bf?
if not how many bf did u have before him? -
WEll.. LEtting go might make u happier.. What Goes Ard comes around..
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Just as I had suspected.
Guys tends to treat their first gf as the most impt person in their life.
Do you still remember your first bf ? Guess not .
He loves u alot and he wants to be with you but he has a problem with his words. His stress level is quite high and I believe that one of the possible reason may be his ns.
During ns a guy had to be stay in the camp till weekend then he is allowed to go back home. At times he may have bring back some stress from camp that he may not know it himself. He is afarid of losing you and this fear is growing day by day.
Imagine if u are lock in a place and only weekends you are allowed only 24 hours to see your family. Will u be afarid that your bf will run to another girl while u were away in the place? Imagine his friend keep saying that you are not worthy of him and asked him to leave you will you be happy while you are inside the place?
Deep in your heart you love him alot that is why it is stopping u from leaving him. Sometimes is better to quarrel and let things out then keep it in your heart. Have seen so many couples who quarrel so much but still end up together and get married.
He quarrel with you cos he care, if one day he stops quarrling and just ignore you, that is the day when all will end., -
He is a third sergeant and he gets to book out everyday at 5.30pm. Recently, he has been training for Army Half Marathon which is coming up in September. He trains and runs everyday and need not go back to camp for the time being. Even If he doesnt gets to book out everyday and only can meet me once a week when he was still a recruit(or whatever you call that), I was more than happy and contented. I can say that I'm pretty understanding, which not many girls with boyfriends in the Army is able to do that.Originally posted by drx:Just as I had suspected.
Guys tends to treat their first gf as the most impt person in their life.
Do you still remember your first bf ? Guess not .
He loves u alot and he wants to be with you but he has a problem with his words. His stress level is quite high and I believe that one of the possible reason may be his ns.
During ns a guy had to be stay in the camp till weekend then he is allowed to go back home. At times he may have bring back some stress from camp that he may not know it himself. He is afarid of losing you and this fear is growing day by day.
Imagine if u are lock in a place and only weekends you are allowed only 24 hours to see your family. Will u be afarid that your bf will run to another girl while u were away in the place? Imagine his friend keep saying that you are not worthy of him and asked him to leave you will you be happy while you are inside the place?
Deep in your heart you love him alot that is why it is stopping u from leaving him. Sometimes is better to quarrel and let things out then keep it in your heart. Have seen so many couples who quarrel so much but still end up together and get married.
He quarrel with you cos he care, if one day he stops quarrling and just ignore you, that is the day when all will end., -
the longer u drag the more u dun wanna let go, the more u dun wanna let go, the more u will suffer his abuse, the more u suffer his abuse the more u will feel miserable....
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NO.
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Thanks dude.Originally posted by beagle:yeah, but they want looks, thats not really what u mean by "looking out for her" -
as long as there is a form of abuse.. the person has gone way too far and way too much.. and for about 5 years.. thats a little way too long.. i feel your pain.. =(.. i'd say that this guy is not worth holding on to... i mean i don't want my sister to hold on to some guy that keeps abusing her..
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with u it would be... food abuse..Originally posted by the Bear:the word "abuse" should never turn up in any relationship..
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He wasn't like that in the past. He was able to control his temper and never used verbal abuse to hurt me. As time past, his patience perhaps has reached its limits? He'll get so sensitive even over the slightest thingsOriginally posted by coffeeortea:as long as there is a form of abuse.. the person has gone way too far and way too much.. and for about 5 years.. thats a little way too long.. i feel your pain.. =(.. i'd say that this guy is not worth holding on to... i mean i don't want my sister to hold on to some guy that keeps abusing her..
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humm so u want him to change back to his old self?
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since when he started getting impatient, sensitive and use vulgarities on u? ns?Originally posted by sweetevil:He wasn't like that in the past. He was able to control his temper and never used verbal abuse to hurt me. As time past, his patience perhaps has reached its limits? He'll get so sensitive even over the slightest things
perhaps, u shld ask him anything bothering him? -
Yes.. No doubt he is still as loving but when it comes to an argument, I cannot take it anymore.Originally posted by drx:humm so u want him to change back to his old self? -
It all started with vulgarities before NS during JC but as time past, it became worse and worse. Even he doesn't know the answer and why is he behaving this way. He kept apologizing and promising that he will never repeat the same mistake again. Seems like promises are meant to be broken?Originally posted by kaobeikaobu:since when he started getting impatient, sensitive and use vulgarities on u? ns?
perhaps, u shld ask him anything bothering him? -
maybe you have raise your standard until it is not possible for him to achieve. so you might as well give it up and move on. I believe nobody will just flare up without any reason, any action will definitely follow by reaction.Originally posted by sweetevil:He wasn't like that in the past. He was able to control his temper and never used verbal abuse to hurt me. As time past, his patience perhaps has reached its limits? He'll get so sensitive even over the slightest things -
Do you think it is possible for him to change?
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why not, human behave differently in diff environment. To change a person is not that easy, but there is still hope.Originally posted by drx:Do you think it is possible for him to change?