Do you believe in having pure platonic friendship with the o
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You also very charming towards them mah
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Kenashi:of course, I got plenty of gal friends.
no choice, I am in the ladies infested working environment. -
errrr, just my guy friends all said I am gender biased.Originally posted by FeowFeow:You also very charming towards them mah
FeowFeow
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Many guys are
It's normal
There's this friend of mine from Hawaii, talk to guys got all the swear words, but talk to the girls very nice & gentle
I think the world of him, actually, he's always willing to help people, whether guys or girls (just that with guys, he's less refined)
But the guy friends all call him "Mr Aloha"
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Kenashi:errrr, just my guy friends all said I am gender biased. -
i dun really have much female frx. n all of my close frx r guys. n yes, they r single
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Originally posted by sweetevil:Do you believe in having pure platonic friendship with the opposite gender?
Like prayers AND Love at First Sight - only works if you believed in them.
Cheers -
I dun believe in pure platonic friendship. Either party will to a certain extent, no matter how minute, harbour some liking. My 2 cents tho.Originally posted by sweetevil:Do you believe in having pure platonic friendship with the opposite gender? -
I think this is possible no matter with single men and women, mareid men single women, maried woman and single man. or even among attach men and women....
the key think is understanding where you stand.
I have many guy friends whom i know makes great bf or husbands but we have understanding that we will always be friends and nothing more
admittedly, there are affections between us... but are'nt there suppose to be affection of some sorts between friends? it's once again knowing your standing. not only your own but your friends. make sure both of u know where you stand and there's no problem. but if even you feel that the understanding is greyed... then it's time to draw back and make things clear.
Sometime i use hints like "Thank goodness i have a buddy like you to listen to me bitch!!! hehehe " or something along these lines,...
Platonic relationships is TOTALLY possible!!!Originally posted by Tuatau:Ho ho... no. Told you not to take it the wrong way. Really didn't mean any offence.
Have already mentioned that platonic friendship between a married woman and a single man could be possible, but believed it was more the exception than the rule. You could be one of the exceptions whom I have yet to come across in real life.
Couldn't say the same between a married man and a single woman, though. Perhaps my social circle is too small, but there is probably no married woman I've known who is perfectly comfortable with her husband going out alone with a single woman.
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i do believe in pure platonic friendship
but it's really rare.. -
Originally posted by Haze|:i do believe in pure platonic friendship
but it's really rare..
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Originally posted by smudgey:
One has never denied the possibility, less even TOTALLY. One has merely considered how high (or low) the probability could be.
I think this is possible no matter with single men and women, mareid men single women, maried woman and single man. or even among attach men and women....
the key think is understanding where you stand.
I have many guy friends whom i know makes great bf or husbands but we have understanding that we will always be friends and nothing more
admittedly, there are affections between us... but are'nt there suppose to be affection of some sorts between friends? it's once again knowing your standing. not only your own but your friends. make sure both of u know where you stand and there's no problem. but if even you feel that the understanding is greyed... then it's time to draw back and make things clear.
Sometime i use hints like "Thank goodness i have a buddy like you to listen to me bitch!!! hehehe " or something along these lines,...
Platonic relationships is TOTALLY possible!!!
This may sound anal, but it really depends on how you define the term "friendship". You never know, even what's thought of as friendship to some could also be considered as acquaintanceship to others. The concept of "friendship" varies according to different people of different age groups and marital statuses, and this naturally leads to different answers.
For the sake of discussion however, to make sure we are on the same page as to the definition, let us go back to the question posted in an earlier reply:
"Do you see wives or husbands still chatting with their opposite-sex-best-friends after marriage through the wee hours of the night like they used to do when they were young?"
Would you still want to chat with your opposite-sex-best-friends after marriage through the wee hours of the night, assuming you used to do it when you were young? (Incidentally, why would your opposite-sex-best-friend be someone else other than the person sleeping next to you?)
You may have many guy friends who make great husbands, but why would a great husband put his wife ill at ease by meeting another lady friend alone just to listen to her b itch? When you get married in future, would you feel really comfortable letting your husband meet another lady friend alone just to listen to her b itch?
Perhaps also, we should question the motive of the original poster in asking the question. Why the question, sweetevil? Why ask, if without a doubt? -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Say, the other party didn't share your belief, then it probably still wouldn't work even though you may have believed in such friendships, would it? Like prayers AND Love at First Sight - only works if you believed in them. -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:Many guys are It's normal
There's this friend of mine from Hawaii, talk to guys got all the swear words, but talk to the girls very nice & gentle
I think the world of him, actually, he's always willing to help people, whether guys or girls (just that with guys, he's less refined)
But the guy friends all call him "Mr Aloha"
FeowFeow
aloha meant hallo right?? -
sorry ppl,
just want to base on my past experiences ...and the ans to the topic starter qns.....
NO! i dun think can....at least for myself hor and all my gf in our grp...cannot leh...the guys always want to fall in love or wan to work out a relationship!!
and its always kanna rejected liao then bo bian.....stick to our group and remain frds.... -
must have mutual understanding on where each stand. If it is one sided, the friendship just might fail if the one of them is stubborn.Originally posted by Tuatau:Say, the other party didn't share your belief, then it probably still wouldn't work even though you may have believed in such friendships, would it?
I got such friendship with at least 6 gals, I am just like a brother to them and they are just like sisters to me. No special feeling since their characters just aren't my type, it feel gd to maintain such friendship esp. when I have troubles with r/s, they will be there to comfort me. -
What is platonic? Some kind of tonic? Can eat?
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eh ... i find the analogy a bit self-fulfilling.Originally posted by Tuatau:Would you still want to chat with your opposite-sex-best-friends after marriage through the wee hours of the night, assuming you used to do it when you were young? (Incidentally, why would your opposite-sex-best-friend be someone else other than the person sleeping next to you?)
the pertinent issue isn't with the definition of friendship.
but rather it is the expectations carried by either/both parties into the relationship that will determine where it will go if the expectations are not met. -
Originally posted by eyonx:
OK, then. We put aside the definition, and talk about the expectations. So tell us:
eh ... i find the analogy a bit self-fulfilling.
the pertinent issue isn't with the definition of friendship.
but rather it is the expectations carried by either/both parties into the relationship that will determine where it will go if the expectations are not met.
Would you still expect yourself or your partner to chat with opposite-sex-best-friends after marriage through the wee hours of the night, assuming you used to do it when you were young? -
Its is possible. If the girls are really pretty, and its hard not to fall in love with them, they become my god-sisters...cos once I apply the label 'sister' to them, my mind will block all amourous attempts consciously and subconsciously.
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Originally posted by alexkusu:
May I ask why you would want a really pretty girl to be a sister, and not to be a girlfriend?
Its is possible. If the girls are really pretty, and its hard not to fall in love with them, they become my god-sisters...cos once I apply the label 'sister' to them, my mind will block all amourous attempts consciously and subconsciously.
Is it because you have already seen enough of pretty girls that you now prefer the other camp?
Or is it because you can have many pretty "god-sisters", but can only have one pretty girlfriend?
Besides, do you apply the label 'sister' as well, to the girl friends you consider ugly? That is, assuming that you still want them to be your friends... you probably wouldn't need to, right? Maybe you already treat them as "god-sisters" automatically in your heart without the label?
So really, is the label 'sister' applied to reassure yourself or to reassure the pretty girl friends?
Can you forgive me for asking these silly questions? -
hahah ... looks like the loaded trick question has juz changed packaging :-pOriginally posted by Tuatau:Would you still expect yourself or your partner to chat with opposite-sex-best-friends after marriage through the wee hours of the night, assuming you used to do it when you were young?
moreover, the expectations that i mention isnt the expect that you made it out to be.
expectations as in being in a relationship with the, explicit or otherwise, intent of being someone more than friend. (sex, marriage or otherwise)
for fun's sake: lets face it. from the scene that u gave, most would answer no. there is just no dispute over the simple fact that most have been there before, most know what the scenario implies.
however whether any answer to the question does imply that opposite sex friends could/couldnt exist is another issue entirely.
if we were to consider for the possibility of platonic relationships using the above,
the question implies that in most cases, friends chat with each other in the dead of the night.
close friends? likely so, platonic ones? contentious.
i would assert, without evidence, that in general one is likely to have more platonic ones than close ones.
ie agree that platonic relations are possible.
perhaps the reality is juz that many people go into a relationship expecting more than they appear to be? -
There can be... just not very often.
In fact, the ratio can be worked out as roughly 10:1 relatioships are platonic based.
Of course, the above data is solely MY observation and MAY not be an accurate representation of the society. -
Originally posted by eyonx:
Between close opposite-sex friends, there could still exist a platonic relationship, no?
if we were to consider for the possibility of platonic relationships using the above, the question implies that in most cases, friends chat with each other in the dead of the night. close friends? likely so, platonic ones? contentious.
i would assert, without evidence, that in general one is likely to have more platonic ones than close ones. ie agree that platonic relations are possible.
perhaps the reality is juz that many people go into a relationship expecting more than they appear to be?
One has known a few girls, single, who have had a boyfriend and a best guy friend -- they are not the same person. In these cases, the girl is very close to both guys, but she insists that the friendship between her and the best friend is strictly platonic. (Whether the best guy friend also thinks the same way or he is just biding his time, only he has the answer.)
So whether or not a friendship is platonic, may not necessarily be dependent on how close the two parties are. That was why one has emphasised on the definition... or rather "expectations " -- in your own words -- both parties carry into the relationship.
Of course we could safely assert, yes without evidence, that it is possible for us to have platonic opposite-sex friends because in this small world we live in, it is inevitable that there would definitely be members of opposite sex in our social circles. If we consider acquaintances on "Hi! Bye" terms as friends as well, it is natural that we would have platonic friends of the opposite sex almost everywhere we go.
However, looking at the thread-starting post, if the friendship did not imply a certain level of closeness or intimacy, why would the poster ask the question then? That's where the rhetorical... or rather "loaded trick question" comes in handy -- to make sure readers would be on the same page as to the level of closeness or intimacy in the supposedly-platonic friendship that one was referring to:
Is it possible to share that kind of intimacy with a platonic close friend of the opposite sex when the person is no longer single and available? -
Originally posted by Tuatau:
as was my point. but then giving this scenario raises other consideration.
Between close opposite-sex friends, there could still exist a platonic relationship, no?
In these cases, the girl is very close to both guys, but she insists that the friendship between her and the best friend is strictly platonic. (Whether the best guy friend also thinks the same way or he is just biding his time, only he has the answer.)
will make head explode one.So whether or not a friendship is platonic, may not necessarily be dependent on how close the two parties are. That was why one has emphasised on the definition... or rather "expectations " -- in your own words -- both parties carry into the relationship.
agreed. However, looking at the thread-starting post, if the friendship did not imply a certain level of closeness or intimacy, why would the poster ask the question then? That's where the rhetorical... or rather "loaded trick question" comes in handy -- to make sure readers would be on the same page as to the level of closeness or intimacy in the supposedly-platonic friendship that one was referring to:
okays at least now i see where you are coming from.
well ... apparently i took everything at face value. dont have a good reason to do otherwise. it would just involve an insanse amount of telepathy that i am ill-equipped for.
i am begining to suspect that on a certain level we talked past each other sometime in the past :-pIs it possible to share that kind of intimacy with a platonic close friend of the opposite sex when the person is no longer single and available?
personally, i find the notion of segregating friends interesting.
the fact is that most would differ in how they classify friends(if they do in the first place), to the extent, such that, if used in a normal course of discussion, requires establishment of a common ground before anything fruitful can occur.
for eg.
a friend put people into acquaintances, friends, good friends, best friends.
personally the people i meet are either acquaintances or friends.
one could almost predict that we will talk past each other if no explicit effort was made to understand the terms that we are going to use. -
anything's possible in the 21st century
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Originally posted by Tuatau:
May I ask why you would want a really pretty girl to be a sister, and not to be a girlfriend?
Hard to answer...maybe cos I dont really know. Its more like keep them close, but not too close.
Is it because you have already seen enough of pretty girls that you now prefer the other camp?
Not the other camp of cause. Value a girl who has internal beauty and perhaps.. 'easy on the eye'.
Or is it because you can have many pretty "god-sisters", but can only have one pretty girlfriend?
Besides, do you apply the label 'sister' as well, to the girl friends you consider ugly? That is, assuming that you still want them to be your friends... you probably wouldn't need to, right? Maybe you already treat them as "god-sisters" automatically in your heart without the label?
They are labelled 'friends' or 'friends of friends' or just 'classmates'. Now that you mentioned about it...most of my god-sis are pretty eye-catching (from what my friends said)... hmm.. im shallow huh?
So really, is the label 'sister' applied to reassure yourself or to reassure the pretty girl friends?
Both...more like setting boundaries. When my god-sis says Hi, etc to me when Im out with my gf..I will just say "Oh, she is my god-sis...dont worry". Girls can get quite jealous easily... so it works as a reassuring thing as well.
Can you forgive me for asking these silly questions?
Definately. For a small sum of US 50, your forgiven unconditionally