i am very worried...
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Please don't take this as an opportunity to sian starblue, SMAP. Take a queue number, dude!
From what I've read, your brother is kinda unsure of himself at the moment. If he talks about suicide and stuff, offer him some consoling words and then, instead of trying to find out what's wrong with him, tell him nicely the consequences of him committing suicide. You have told him things like you'll be sad and crying etc, keep going with that. If he has a sensible mind, he'll soon forget all this and continue with his life. I know, cause I have the same thoughts as him sometimes, except I don't invoke God in the picture.
Is his results good enough? Maybe you can encourage him to pursue a degree in pharmacy with his backgrounds. AFAIK, all phamarcists grads will easily find jobs in governmental hospitals and such. Good career move, I think. You can think of going this route. -
he knows i will be terribly upset if he does anything silly. i think if there's nothing else that's holding him back, there's still me. lolz... my beloeved brother..Originally posted by CoolMyth:Please don't take this as an opportunity to sian starblue, SMAP. Take a queue number, dude!
From what I've read, your brother is kinda unsure of himself at the moment. If he talks about suicide and stuff, offer him some consoling words and then, instead of trying to find out what's wrong with him, tell him nicely the consequences of him committing suicide. You have told him things like you'll be sad and crying etc, keep going with that. If he has a sensible mind, he'll soon forget all this and continue with his life. I know, cause I have the same thoughts as him sometimes, except I don't invoke God in the picture.
Is his results good enough? Maybe you can encourage him to pursue a degree in pharmacy with his backgrounds. AFAIK, all phamarcists grads will easily find jobs in governmental hospitals and such. Good career move, I think. You can think of going this route.
wad's AFAIK?? his results are average, or slightly below average, cos he doesnt listen in class... that's why he feels bleak... he's planning on working after he gets out of NS (means he dun wanna study further) but he dunno what jobs he can do with his diploma... -
AFAIK = As Far As I Know
Like that huh.....then peharps you shall ask him to check out career prospects instead of humming over what will he do in future? Sometimes, knowing something will help to allay one's fears. Ask him to think carefully, set a target and then work towards it. Nowadays, once you have worked for a few years, have money already, he can try going back and get higher educational qualifications.
What is important is that he will need support all the way. That's when you come in. -
He will need financial , emotional and motivational support , thats where a sister comes in.
Siblings are related by blood ties so do all your best to help him.
The rest is up to him.
A word of caution , you can choose to help him alot , but don't overdo it , if not he may not be self reliant the moment he reaches 21.
Especially , when he does his NS service , when he tends to be a little low in morale , try to boost his thoughts .
Make him feel like he's more then just a part of the family , make him feel important as a NS man. -
Im not interested in starblue.Originally posted by CoolMyth:Please don't take this as an opportunity to sian starblue, SMAP. Take a queue number, dude!
From what I've read, your brother is kinda unsure of himself at the moment. If he talks about suicide and stuff, offer him some consoling words and then, instead of trying to find out what's wrong with him, tell him nicely the consequences of him committing suicide. You have told him things like you'll be sad and crying etc, keep going with that. If he has a sensible mind, he'll soon forget all this and continue with his life. I know, cause I have the same thoughts as him sometimes, except I don't invoke God in the picture.
Is his results good enough? Maybe you can encourage him to pursue a degree in pharmacy with his backgrounds. AFAIK, all phamarcists grads will easily find jobs in governmental hospitals and such. Good career move, I think. You can think of going this route.
Starblue is older then me.
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To be honest , since this is not SB Heaven , but aunt agony ,
for your info, since i started dating , it's always girls who made the first move.
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He doesn't listen in class , thats simply because he has no energy to concerntrate in class.Originally posted by starblue:he knows i will be terribly upset if he does anything silly. i think if there's nothing else that's holding him back, there's still me. lolz... my beloeved brother..
wad's AFAIK?? his results are average, or slightly below average, cos he doesnt listen in class... that's why he feels bleak... he's planning on working after he gets out of NS (means he dun wanna study further) but he dunno what jobs he can do with his diploma...
How could someone be lively and attentive in class, when his energy is drained in the nights playing computer games?
Im sure he doesn't wanna stay as a watson's pharmacist for life or work in biopolis as a lowly pharmaceutical assistant.
Hopefully , when the new Biopolis is up , he can join as a pharmaceutical researcher or equivalent.
You'll have my utmost sincere wishes for him.
I will include him in my daily prayer. -
The outlook on Singapore's Pharmaceutical careers has been well in the recent years.
Don't worry. -
Of course, having good sisters are the best things that could happen to anyone.Originally posted by starblue:no way. no way i'm gonna be your sister. and i suggest you best start treasuring your sister... having sisters are like... the best things that can happen to anyone.
and no hugs from you that's for sure. so buzz off.
Your bro should realise your anxiety.
at least you bothered to care about him.
Diploma holders only earn about $1,400 .
Considering that males have to earn a certain amount of income to support the family , i think it isn't easy to be a male in Singapore.
Women will never understand.
At his age, he should be sensible enough to know that his actions is not going to lead him anywhere. To get into a prestigious university in Singapore , he has to know that he has to score above average.
Time for your brother to make the 2nd move.
I'll think that he'll be better over the next few days . I have had suicidal thoughts before but it's simply not worth it.
This might not be right , but i just want to tell you that may God bless you with a sturdy mind to tide through this arduous period.
Try to speak to him whenever he's alone , cause when people are alone by themselves, they will tend to think too much. -
Originally posted by starblue:my brother told me this morning, as we are going to church, that he is having suicidal thoughts again...
he feels that life is just so stagnant, so... unchanging and. bleak. he is harping on how nice it would be to have a restart button for Life, it's as though he is thinking of death as a restart button... and he told me he cant seem to get to sleep every night and maybe soon he needs to rely on sleeping pills... help... i don't know what to do... i don't want to lose a brother.. 
You brother seemed to have problem with his emotional control. He doesn't how to fully express his innate message through a medium, which resulted in a blockage within. He tell you something, but somehow, nothing is told.
He seemed empty; both spiritually and in reality, with no proper interest that he could work for and no goal to achieve. His life seemed to be very receptive to what-comes...comes - the typical kind of young Singaporean behaviour we are having these days, who doesn't know what they want and expect for themselves.
He probably realise this by now, but lack the wisdom to go about doing it or at least find the answers he want. As a result, he returned to his usual lifestyle, delaying the realization and enlightenment that is necessary for him in his world of games. Each day, the burden of 'how now?' gets onto his mind and he became frustrated.
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If you want to know what is he really thinking, my advice is to open up yourself FIRST through a sibling talk and later try to induce those hidden suppression out. You may like to talk about something... say your views on your own future and such. One good way to get someone to open up is to open up yourself first... this will put a influence on the other party to response and talk.
If nothing works, you may like to introduce him to some new things in life. Say get involve with Church or something. Redirecting the mind is very important, especially if you want to change the way of life and mindset. Before one can change, the mind has to evolve first. His lack of experience in life and personal resistance might reject your attempt to introduce... so you probably have to talk your way out... to get him out of his chair occasionally and indulge in something else other than just plain games.
Cheers -
Oh well. -
hmm, there is no restart button for life.. only on, and shutdown. even if he does not care about himself, ask him to spare a thought for his caring sister that loves him, and his parents that have brought him up, showered him with undying affection. why does he feel that life is stagnant and bleak? what is the reason behind his thoughts?Originally posted by starblue:my brother told me this morning, as we are going to church, that he is having suicidal thoughts again... he feels that life is just so stagnant, so... unchanging and. bleak. he is harping on how nice it would be to have a restart button for Life, it's as though he is thinking of death as a restart button... and he told me he cant seem to get to sleep every night and maybe soon he needs to rely on sleeping pills... help... i don't know what to do... i don't want to lose a brother.. -
one more thing, does he actually want you to help him? or does he intend to bottle up all his sorrows and not expose any of it to anyone at all.
if he wants any help at all, then the best way is for him to release his problem to you slowly, and open his heart to you so that you or your family members can understand his thoughts of life being bleak and stagnant. that is the time where people can help him with his problems. It is so hard to find a solution if you do not know what the problem is.
also about his friends, are you aware of them doing anything nasty or bad to him? because i am aware that there are some people who stick with a group of people, call them friends, but they always just bully that one person.
if your brother wants to have any friends at all, and the only type of people around him are narrow-minded, then i guess it is time to make other friends, search for greener pasture. if narrow-minded people is all he have around him, then if he really wants friends, he has to accept the fact that he is different from them and he has no choice but to befriend the narrow-minded people that he dislikes. i hope i helped a little -
haha maplestory? What's ur bro's nick in there? I can go in there and talk to him sometimesOriginally posted by starblue:thanks smap (this is about the first time i'm grateful to you.
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wad mistakes he made??? wad u mean?
he doesn't know what he really wants, like i said.. no passion, no goal, no direction...
websites?? he likes to play maplestory now.. maybe a little excessive sometimes...
daily habits... usual (that's why mum dun seem to realise anything...) sleeping late to play games. in school then i dunno how it is like, he doesnt tell me...
his love life i said already... friends i also mentioned a little, he doesnt tell me much... he's those few philosophical guys, who thinks alot about life and the meaning of life. and he often gets depressed about what he thinks about. but i need to know how i can help him see that life is just... life.. no matter how bleak it seems, it has to go on... i'm really scared he will end his life... sigh..
Actually try to spend more time with him, maybe he is feeling isolated and like no one understands him...teenage years are difficult for some people as they are still trying to find out their own identity and trying to find acceptance among their peers...I guess dats wat your brother is suffering from now...
I gotta do my hw now, but I guess I will reply more later -
why did he chose the course if he does not know anything about it?
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really grateful for your advice. in reply, i do have talks with my siblings. we always share some of our school life and other stuff, till late in the night. some of the things he shared with me almost scared me to death, cos i never knew he is so.... deep and philosophical. i guess if anyone can help him, it wud be me.. cos he tells me more things than he tells mum, and prob more than anyone else...
but i, unfortunately, am not good with words. i do not usually know how to comfort people. i can be so concerned about a person, yet have utterly no words to convey my feelings to him/her. i can only hope he knows he still has a sister who cares a lot about him and dun do anything silly.
i need to get him to do other things in life. somebody suggested getting him involved in church.. erm.. actually, he is more involved with church than i am.. so not a very good suggestion there... and i always tried to get him to go out with me, but i dunno what to do with him. movies, he says waste money. go walk walk, shopping, he dun wan. i dunno anything else already.... -
do u know wats ur brother interest in? mayb u can get him involved in community work like old folks home for a start? let him understand how precious life can be.
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Your brother is very ironic.
How could someone be addicted to computer , score average grades and have suicidal thoughts in that sense?
And also get involved in church?
Church activities should promote healthy and family life free from internet addiction , and also motivate him enough to score well , and promote the importance of living his life for honour and glory in God's name. -
how many years apart are the two of you?
if not that much, intergrate him into your group of friends la... ren dou easier... but take note of him... see if he looks left out...
lastly, just be there for him when he needs to talk... no one can be with him 24/7 it's important he knows he has someone he can call at any hour of the day...Originally posted by starblue:really grateful for your advice. in reply, i do have talks with my siblings. we always share some of our school life and other stuff, till late in the night. some of the things he shared with me almost scared me to death, cos i never knew he is so.... deep and philosophical. i guess if anyone can help him, it wud be me.. cos he tells me more things than he tells mum, and prob more than anyone else...
but i, unfortunately, am not good with words. i do not usually know how to comfort people. i can be so concerned about a person, yet have utterly no words to convey my feelings to him/her. i can only hope he knows he still has a sister who cares a lot about him and dun do anything silly.
i need to get him to do other things in life. somebody suggested getting him involved in church.. erm.. actually, he is more involved with church than i am.. so not a very good suggestion there... and i always tried to get him to go out with me, but i dunno what to do with him. movies, he says waste money. go walk walk, shopping, he dun wan. i dunno anything else already.... -
maybe it's his way to call out for attention?
as i said, the fact that he told star that he has such thoughts is a good sign... that shows he has not given up on life or rather just want more attention?Originally posted by SMAPLionHeart:Your brother is very ironic.
How could someone be addicted to computer , score average grades and have suicidal thoughts in that sense?
And also get involved in church?
Church activities should promote healthy and family life free from internet addiction , and also motivate him enough to score well , and promote the importance of living his life for honour and glory in God's name. -
There's alot of way you can get involved what.
Since he's so involved in church , you can go and participate together with his cell group's activities and have prayers. -
Maybe he's just depressed.
Don't worry. -
i saw maple items...
maybe u could get him a maple top up card n let him buy the stuff he want?
safety charms are very useful...
saves ur exp... 5%
very useful as u level up... each jnr cellion i kill gives me 65 exp n that's around 0.04% -
And don't let him know that you bought it , your brother seems those kind of thoughtful/thrifty & nice guys , so he will surely and certainly think of maple top up cards as waste of money.
just pass the maple story top up card to him , and say that your friends gave it to you. -
Starblue,
If your brother is having suicidal thoughts, it's too big a problem for AA to handle. Moreover, he needs urgent help, & asap! Please arrange for him to see a counsellor or a professional psychologist. Nowadays, there's less of a stigma, & depression is considered an illness, NOT a sign of insanity.
Please seek help for your brother urgently.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by starblue:my brother told me this morning, as we are going to church, that he is having suicidal thoughts again... he feels that life is just so stagnant, so... unchanging and. bleak. he is harping on how nice it would be to have a restart button for Life, it's as though he is thinking of death as a restart button... and he told me he cant seem to get to sleep every night and maybe soon he needs to rely on sleeping pills... help... i don't know what to do... i don't want to lose a brother..