Am i right?
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hi... just pop in to give my 2 cents worth...
since u have deciede to forgive him and start anew... then continue trying to seive out the root problem....
YOu have realised that your life revolves around him.... make that past tense... take up a hobby... meet friends... in a sense, get a life...
make and maintain more friendships... cos ultimately they will be with you when you think you have no one else... and having them around help to make the most difficult task less difficult...
You have given him a chance... but if he repeats his mistake... i think it's time to pack your bags for good. you only live once... don't waste it on a man who doesn't change.Originally posted by kiekie:I think i should get a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
I guess many gave the same advises. The only person to control your decision and how you want your life to be in is only you.
We can give all wonderful or cruel comments... but u need 2 be clear what u want, what are the problems you have been facing.
I can sense that you have lost yourself in r/s for a long time. You haven't been yourself, doing what you like, think what you want, etc. Create your own private space, re-evaluate this r/s when you are calm to be able to see pros n cons and what you want. -
Hi kiekie, reading your posts...sigh...reminds me of an experience I had with an ex. I feel very sorry for you. You gave so much to him, and yet, he hardly cares for you, that he can't be bothered to ask how you are, how was your day that sort of thing.
I can understand your eagerness to forgive him so quickly and give him a second chance. There's no doubt how much you love him. However, loving him doesn't make your problems disappear. Guys like him will always come crying back to the gal only when they realise they are going to lose the gal. But while you're still with him, he can forget about promises he's made, and how much you've done for them.
Right now, I'm sure it's hard for you to let go, and yet you feel insecure whether he can keep his promise. What you can do is set some condition which he must fulfill if he is sincere about changing, eg. no more contact with the 3rd party after he leaves his job, no SMS, or whatever it is you decide. Tell him what is not acceptable to you. Give him an ultimatum. Make him prove that he really cares for you as a person, and not because it is convenient to have you with him. If things get too much for you, tell him you want time to calm down your emotions and think things out.
Take care. -
If my GF were to be like you I would really luv her with all my heart...Originally posted by kiekie:Yes, i know why he strays and he sweared to be knocked down by vechicles if he ever touches or go out with them.
Being soft hearted, i choose to believe him once more cuz i really loves him. I told myself that i ve to learn to let go of his wrong doings and willl nv bring them up for a quarrel.
In fact I am at fault too cuz i pampered him too much, always trying to give him all he wants and allow him to have too much freedom and spoilt him. He nv help out with household chores at all........and i nv ask him to do, cuz i tot he's tired. SO everyday, i did it myself. It's me that makes these become a habit for him..a bad one.. that he took me for granted. I am crying now....
You know last night when we got together again, i dun dare to look at his face... cuz whenever i look at him, thethoughts of him calling n chatting, messenging and befriending other gals will pop up in mind mine again and again...
I m so saddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd..........................
huhhhhhhhhhhhwooooooooo Cry......
What have i done to deserve all this setbacks???
My friends say that i shouldn't be as gd to him as before. But i really can't bring myself to do that.
Last night, he went to study, fearing that he may be hungry, i went o buy food for him...i noe i shouldn't. and he came to the kopitiam to fetch me which he nv did before. I know he;s trying to change... and i can't help feeling that its because his guilty conscious that's y he's good to me...
Its hard to believe there is such a nice girl around...
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A good gal/woman would do a lot for the man she loves. If you have yet to find her, good luck.Originally posted by Delta 5:If my GF were to be like you I would really luv her with all my heart...
Its hard to believe there is such a nice girl around... 
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ThanksOriginally posted by Wanda:A good gal/woman would do a lot for the man she loves. If you have yet to find her, good luck. 
But now my priority will be to succeed in my studies and find a well-paying job in 3 years time... Blame the rat race here... Relationships no choice but to wait even though there is a gal I like now...
Sigh...
Yi Xin bu Nen Er Yong... -
Don't be so confident, there're many girls, who, like you, are willing to give their men their all.
Perhaps what you meant was that another girl couldn't possibly love him as much as you do?
But maybe your fault doesn't lie with you being too "perfect" & "sacrificing" so much for him? As mentioned by another poster, guys can get lonely if they hardly see their partners. Make HIM work too, & you be at home for him? How're you gonna find time for him if you're working at 2 jobs?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by kiekie:U r right.... but if i dun hold on 2 jobs, then our income will be lesser. In the past, he only cares about what he wants, where he wana go.... n nv tot of me. Can tell u, he nv, not even once, accopmany me to go shopping. Partly is because i nv ask him, cuz i know he will be bored, U see the picture? i pamper him too much and alwaz think of his feelings before mine. That's y he became lidat...dunn know how to appreciate what i have done for him..............He can easily find another gal outside but I can say he will nv find another one like me. -
Take relationships as it's nature course. If ur timing nt up, u wont see her. If you meet her, then dun miss her.Originally posted by Delta 5:Thanks But now my priority will be to succeed in my studies and find a well-paying job in 3 years time... Blame the rat race here... Relationships no choice but to wait even though there is a gal I like now...
Sigh...
Yi Xin bu Nen Er Yong... -
Very sensible of you! Good, good...your parents will be very pleased too.Originally posted by Delta 5:Thanks But now my priority will be to succeed in my studies and find a well-paying job in 3 years time... Blame the rat race here... Relationships no choice but to wait even though there is a gal I like now...
Sigh...
Yi Xin bu Nen Er Yong... 
There will be plenty of time for r/s later. -
I agree. It's not good to put in a whole lot of effort that is useless in improving the relationship. Before you make any 'sacrifices' for him, you should think of whether the relationship will be enhanced as a result. No point in working and working until you're no longer the person that your guy loved in the first place, right?Originally posted by FeowFeow:Don't be so confident, there're many girls, who, like you, are willing to give their men their all.
Perhaps what you meant was that another girl couldn't possibly love him as much as you do?
But maybe your fault doesn't lie with you being too "perfect" & "sacrificing" so much for him? As mentioned by another poster, guys can get lonely if they hardly see their partners. Make HIM work too, & you be at home for him? How're you gonna find time for him if you're working at 2 jobs?
FeowFeow
Take care and don't give up hope.
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hmm..yunhan havent arrive? haih~ after all i spent on counselling fees
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kiekie if you seriously think about leaving him then do it.
Do not give your life to someone who no longer loves you...but try to hold you back bcos he "needs you" -
Hi Kiekie,
I think the root problem is because u pamper him too much, and he took u for granted all these years.
This is the root problem.
It's imbalanced and u will tire out sooner or later, because all that pampering needs energy and sacrifice. U can't keep doing that, u will get a burnout.
Every time u pamper him, u are taxing urself with a burden. I know u are willing to sacrifice, willing to take on the burden, but ur soul will feel the tire and it will get tired out.
On the other hand, the other party will take u for granted.
It makes the relationship unhealthy. U are tired and he's taking u for granted.
When u do so much for him, basically u are taking a lot of the burden on ur own shoulder only.
Why don't u get him more involved and share the burden together? That's a real couple. Right?
It will make the relationship much healthier.
You both will be like real partners and he won't take u for granted anymore.
That is the fundamental solution.
And, I do think u should give him a chance. It's not his fault only. He took u for granted coz u conditioned him.
You 2 should make the changes. From now on, u should reduce ur burden and he increase his. Share together.
I disagree with all the advice for u to leave. I believe u love him alot. In fact, u love him more than urself. I believe he loves u deeply too. U are part of his life, always there for him all these years. You both are ROM married already. Actually u both love each other.
Just that it's imbalanced and so he is taking u for granted. He even dared to have a fling with a colleague.
I really believe after this incident he has woken up. I think u have woken up as well. Just give it a chance. I believe both of u can change. He will appreciate u more, and u will involve him more. -
Hi Kiekie
First of all, some people in the forum are saying how things could have happened because you are working too much and he is lonely and you pampered him too much. So in their eyes, you are partly at fault.
I donÂ’t buy that sh!t about how lonely and pampered that guy is. ItÂ’s a matter of responsibility and there is no excuse for being irresponsible. A responsible person will not leave you hanging the way he did while he search for other possibilities.
As for yourself, you are going through a self denial stage right now. You are with him physically but you simply donÂ’t love the man anymore.
Why do I say that?
Your man is an unfaithful and insincere person. It is psychologically impossible to be in love with a person who is not sincere. Love and sincerity always come hand in hand so as to speak. Understand that you may still be attracted to certain aspects of his character (eg. maybe he is humorous, maybe he is a pretty boy, etc), but when you throw in the fact that he is not a sincere person and is unfaithful to you, there is no reason for love to exist anymore.
So I was initially puzzled about why you still went back...I continued reading your post and I saw myself looking at someone who still has some lingering feelings because you are:
1) Still in love with the memories (of how well he treated you in the past) and
2) After been with him for so long, it has became a habit to you and right now you canÂ’t seem let go and break away from this habit
There are people who are unwilling to let go as well as people who are unable to let go. You have to realize that in your case, you do have a choice!
You kept saying that you are weak, but when I look at your posts I saw that you actually have a strong character within. You constantly thought of leaving him again because you simply refused to accept the unfairness bestowed upon you. If you choose to use that strength in you, you will realize that there is no reason to willow in self-pity or retain a lost love anymore.
All you need to do now is to muster whatever courage left in you to face your fears. You must begin by believing that you are strong enough to break free from your routine and find a new reason to live.
All those comments you made about how your social life is not broad enough and how your life always revolves around him are excuses for people who are unwilling to let go.
If you push your ability to the limit and make serious effort to improve your life, nothing can stop you from leading a new life without this man. -
I totally agreed with CuriousOrange!!!
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Mmm... He just told you that recently...?Originally posted by kiekie:Now another problem is that his married colleague loves him alot. She even pour water using her own bottle for him and ask him to finish all. She stays back during lunch to help him do his work when he went for lunch. And he was so touched when he found out wat she has done for him. This are all he told me last time.
He said he already hinted her they are impossible as her husband treats her very well and she is already married with kids. But it's hard for him to tell her not to call him or sms him. cuz she will cry..easily..which he doesn't want things to turn out that way...
I agree much with forumites who have suggested to stop revolving your life around him (you've made it a BAD habit and ultimately has an important role to play in the destruction of your relationship if it continues to happen...) and get yourself a new life... Scope of friends and such... Nobody would really be interested in another who absolutely doesn't have a life no matter how good she is to him..?
Restructure your life with him... Spend more quality time together... Yes yes.. You can make new RULES and CONTROLS over him but that probably won't work on the LONG RUN....
But all of the ABOVE... Only if you really decide to stay on...?
PERSONALLY, I'll ADVISE you OUT... Your ODDS are not pretty high... You've already LOST the FAITH in the relationship and ain't even anywhere near from recovering from it... Now we're telling you to take control of the situation when you can't even take control of yourself...?
STAYING ON would INVOLVE a DIFFICULT 'BATTLE' and it probably won't be a short one if it's going for the better... And DO fight with an OPEN HEART if you must, as I can sense that FAILURE might be TOO MUCH for you to BEAR.. And UNDERSTAND that ULTIMATELY WHATEVER is PLACED UPON YOU is at least PARTIALLY YOUR CHOICE...
GOOD LUCK? Cause you'll probably needing PLENTY of IT...? -
Originally posted by kiekie:What should i do? I m really in a dilemma. (Too long... edited)
I wanted to stay, but i cudn't find any good reason to do so..He dun love me anymore, our lifes has become stagnant. He resorts to knowing other new gals at pub on Fri nights and chatting wif his married colleague to ease his stresses at work and studies. I understand, thats y he choose to keep me in the dark. He said that he's afaid that i will be angry. N i told him off that if he's afraid that i will be furious, then in the first place, he shouldn't have done so!!
He kept denying abt the gals he befriend with and in the end, when i threatended to call them up one by one, then he confessed. He kept begging me not to go cuz he cannot dun ve me. But i told him straight that he will be able to find a better one. He's juz used to our relationshio and do not love me anymore. It's a kind of habit to be together..Anyway being together with him, he had forced me to be so independent and i can take care of myself.
We already ROM, juz that we have yet to hold the wedding dinner. SO he kept saying that he will talk to his parents abt it and we will applied for a house. I told him... what for??? Everynight, i sleep with a GREAT PRETENDER and thought that he was really tired and stressful... I had nv felt so foolish at all. I even gave him $$ to go to pub, afraid that he dun have enough.... Now all i get is.......................hurt.
Your man appeared to have breach the first level of betrayal, but studying your post, it also appeared to me that he lack the courage to leap across ships directly. He may not physically betrayed you, but nevertheless, emotionally, he is wavering. This could be due to a number of reasons - but most of it constitute a lack of couple interaction.
What do I mean by couple interaction?
We always talk about how relationship works with two hands akin to clapping; your act of giving is divine, but his act of taking advantage of your goodwill and duty of a then-girlfriend-now-wife has became a norm... a standard procedure that automatically comes to him. Your relationship lack life and vigour like an one way road junction; no oppositions nor alternatives surface to challenge the relationship. Like how food travels from our mouth to the end of the digestive system.
If you are thinking that I am talking about the romantic flame of your relationship, that is only half the picture. The other half is about emotional acceptance without logical justification - somewhat a woman without a mind of her own. Your husband probably sees you as a woman he is with - not a wife. Re-read that sentence carefully and you will notice a distinct difference. Although there is no need for aggressive power struggle in your Love, but without a certain idea to lay out grounds and communicate definition of how you want your relationship to be, by allowing your man the full control means that he will climb over you in no time.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I always say this: Love is about looking at the same direction; not at each other. When you put yourself a level lower than your man, and if he is not the enlightened kind, you are asking yourself to be taken advantage of.
A sizable truth is that your man is likely to think of you as a wife material, but that's about it. You are someone who looks after the family, the domestic stuff and that's about it. A woman he is with or a wife? Do you see the difference?
That is also probably the reason why he only breached that first level and not any further. Think about this: If you give him enough time to gather courage and rethink his course emotionally, this marriage is over. He is seeking for emotional substitute; someone to compensate what is lacking in his own marriage - this is same for the married woman as well. When you find two similar people with similar plight, they will come together like molecule bonding to achieve certain stability.
Non-committed relationship: People who indulge in them are usually unavailable themselves. This is to eliminate the deep guilt that is usually accompanied by such sub rosa relationship. The message that they are sending over is as such: 'we are impossible, but hey... I don't want it to be possible anyway'
What is happening may not be good for the relationship as a whole - but being good natured, you felt a need to compromise in order to keep the relationship intact without heavy conflicts. Sure is compromising and not avoidance?
I see so much avoidance in your behaviour that I can't help but to think that it is likely to be the latter. What use could it have been for you to take up the task of a private investigator and source evidence of betrayal and after finding out 'the truth' - you pack your stuff and left?
Don't you realise that all these while, you knew something is wrong with the relationship but your mind pushes all these suspicions to the back of your subconscious mind? Your refusal to see this and thus avoiding of proper couple communicate to tackle or ease the destruction process that the relationship is suffering... is like everything else is decaying beneath the grand edifice your Love portrays to your mind. And when reality hits you hard, you cannot accept the truth - thinking why this has happen even though you treated him well. This is an essential catalysis to bring you back, rudely, to reality.
You mentioned that he sees this relationship as a habit - but does he marry you out of habit as well? Following the sheeps blindly because the relationship is seemingly lengthy enough to announce a ROM?
Your lack of life outside your relationship is the worst you can contribute to ANY form of BGR/marriage. This is an ironic truth - when you don't have life outside the life of your relationship, your relationship is aversely affected. It's all about balance... and life is not merely about Love, for Love comes in different dimensions. Your need a good healthy lifestyle to complement a good relationship - people with screwed up life finds difficulty to maintain fulfilling relationship. Lack of friends also means a lack of guidance and support to reveal certain angles that neutral party can pinpoint to you before it's too late. Your blindspots.
*** You have accepted him back again.
He has told you that he will change.
He will probably avoid that woman, go less pubs, avoid knowing female strangers, etc, but how will he repair and work for the sinking relationship? You got to understand that changing those variables that causes the gale to strike the relationship won't save your Love from withering. You ought to give some consideration to the following:
I) If you want to see how this 'Giving him a chance' will work out - make sure you see him putting in effort in the relationship, with you, being slightly self absorbed for once, playing the receiving part. Reason why being explained above.
II) Built back what lifestyle you had previously given up. Remember, you are a WIFE and you STANDS ON EQUAL POSITION with your husband, to be cared and loved mutually. You ain't a woman living with him... a maid... a somebody born out of habit to be with. If you wish to play that role, you will eventually see that giving him a chance is but only a short term solution to a gradual dismissal of your relationship.
III) You got to project an ultimatum; a feeling where you will attempt to trust him again and this is but the last chance. No tears or knees begging will make you change your decision once he screwed it again. Emotions works in a way where people response 2.5 times better in a negative lost than positive gain.
P.S: Love will not fool you; you can only fool yourself with reasons being Love.
Cheers -
whois yunhan?Originally posted by alexkusu:hmm..yunhan havent arrive? haih~ after all i spent on counselling fees
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Wah rao eh... these days busy leh!
Cheers -
Sometyms u haf to walk away to see if the other person wil follow... If he loves u and is really regretful dis tym, he's stil be waiting out for u even after many years... By then, if u stil love him, nothing is ever too late... but... if he had been teking u for granted, he will react in such a way to makes u think that he feels 'lost' without u and scared to lose u, do anything to savage this marriage at THIS moment ONLY... Once he is sure u are gone for gud (which u really walks away) he've have turned to other woman for shelter... Advice is given but u just dont want to believe it...
Personally, I think there is an issue with most people nowadays when they find out that their partner has been cheating on them is mostly due to insecurity; ‘What’s wrong with mi that he has to sleep with someone else?’ That’s the real problem, my dear ger... Though we all wouldnt assume he have or have not, but dun be too blinded by the word LOVE in YOUR dictionary, not his !! Ignorant couples can love very well I suppose, if ignorance is bliss....
Ger, there are some things that are worth giving up, even at a present cost, for better rewards in the future !!!! -
I bet a cup of copi you're in for another round of cheating, after a few months ie.Originally posted by kiekie:What should i do? I m really in a dilemma.
Recently i found out that my hubby has been sort of 'CHEATING" on me outside. Specially on Friday's nite. cuz i usually stay at hme on fri nite as i gotto work on Sat. Hence, he went out to pubs with his friends even though he knows he can do so on Sat taking me along.
Nevertheless, i trusted him so much until recently. I was really devastated when i found out that he was on very good terms with one of his married colleague. They chatted on the phone eveyday when i was at work, which lasted for 30min to 1 hr. and even has multiple sms to one & other everyday.
I found out when one fri nite he came back at 6am. That day i was sick, throwing up & having a bad flu. However, i asked him to take care of himself and enjoy cuz i felt that if i ask him to come back early, its oso useless, it won't cure my illness.
I waited from 11pm to 2pm at the void deck and quicklyawent home when 1 stranger came to approach me to be friends. I laid on the bed and tried to sleep but i cudn't. At around 4pm, i went downstairs again and waited till near 6am. Despite my multiple calls and sms, he didn't answer or reply. I was so worried that something bad might have happen to him.
I went home again to get prepared for work and the moment i stepped out of the lift when i was going out, i saw him....drunk and I began to question him. He merely replied that he went to pub then makan with his colleague.
I was doubtful and tried to check his HP call details. Then i saw him making calls to some numbers that i didn't know. I asked him y he nv answer my calls & all he replied was his HP low batt. I packed my clothings & decided to moved out.
He was lying on the bed restlessly and asked me not to go. I poured out my emotions and told him off.
All these yrs, i ve been treaying him like a king. I served him meals, pick up his laundries cuz he alwaz dump them on the floor when he comes back. Get his socks for him, paid for his expenses and bills. Even thou i got to work from 8.30 to 9.30pm, i alwaz make the effort to call him & buy dinner for him as he alwaz sleep when he came back from work.
Only now then i realised i m a fool. He didn't sleep when he came back, he was making calls to his married colleague whom has 2 kids.
How do i find out? I managed to get his call list and sms list n matched up all the calls they made.
Why do i do that?
Cuz after that fri incident, he promised to be better to me & i forgave him. But 3 days later, while he was asleep, i tried checking his HP. I knew he dun like it but i have no choice as i dun know wat he's doing behind my back.
& i saw a MESSage that shattered the vision of mine.
It says: No matter wat's ur decision, i will always care for u. You muz study hard and nv let urself fall ill again. I LOVE U!
I noted the number and realised it was the name of the colleague whom he mentioned to me before cuz she was the prettiest in his company.
That night, while he was sleeping, i packed up all my belongings and left the house with lots of bag. I met my good friend & sat down for a chat. She tried to console me that things might not be as bad as i tot. That night was another sleepless one. I spent the whole night checking out the numer of calls and sms they made and tried to match them up one by one.
The next morning, he called me as he cudn't find me. I avoided his calls for 1 hour. And finally on my way to work, i answered. I told he that i will go. He was shocked as he didm't know wat was happening. He nv know that i will have a list of the info. he kept begging me to come backand promised that he will change. I questioned about his colleague and he was so afraid that i might ring her up as she has a family.
Then i told him, since u r afraid of hurting her and not me, then let me go. I ve u but not ur heart......u ve changed. No wonder u treated me so badly. Whenever i buy food for u at night, u r sleeping and by the time u wake up, u complained tat the food is cold and juz have a mouthful and go back to sleep. We have very little conversation and he alwaz tells me he is tired.
I am so sad. I felt so foolish, thinking that he's really tired.....on the other side, he's chatting with that woman before i reach home. Usually, when he charge his hp, he always leave it on a chair, now he hide it under his pillow.. sighz....
That morning when he called me, i told him that i knew everything, he was shocked and only after much questionings, he revealed the truth. He said that his colleague is in love with him. But only when the night i choose to leave him, then he wakes up and realised my importance which he nv did in the past.........He said that he didn't touch or went out wif her at all. Merely sms and chatting on the phone. He said that he has no feelings for her. I told him if he has no feelings for her, then i dun find a need for them to sms each other everyday or chat on the phone everyday for so long! Whenever i call him, he will tell me he's busy la. Then how come he's free to chatt with her for so long?????
I told him my heart is shattered and if he wants the kind of thrill go ahead, i will set him free. He broke down and cried begging for my forgiveness. Then thru the call list, i found a few numbers that he called frequently too. I tried dialing them n found out they r all gals!!! This time i was firm to leave him.
I wanted to stay, but i cudn't find any good reason to do so..He dun love me anymore, our lifes has become stagnant. He resorts to knowing other new gals at pub on Fri nights and chatting wif his married colleague to ease his stresses at work and studies. I understand, thats y he choose to keep me in the dark. He said that he's afaid that i will be angry. N i told him off that if he's afraid that i will be furious, then in the first place, he shouldn't have done so!!
He kept denying abt the gals he befriend with and in the end, when i threatended to call them up one by one, then he confessed. He kept begging me not to go cuz he cannot dun ve me. But i told him straight that he will be able to find a better one. He's juz used to our relationshio and do not love me anymore. It's a kind of habit to be together..Anyway being together with him, he had forced me to be so independent and i can take care of myself.
We already ROM, juz that we have yet to hold the wedding dinner. SO he kept saying that he will talk to his parents abt it and we will applied for a house. I told him... what for??? Everynight, i sleep with a GREAT PRETENDER and thought that he was really tired and stressful... I had nv felt so foolish at all. I even gave him $$ to go to pub, afraid that he dun have enough.... Now all i get is.......................hurt.
Do you really think a man with no shame and no moral will be sincere to change? To him, he doesn't even know what right and wrong is justifiable.
If he could get a 'prettiest' gal next round... Good bye to you, the oldest woman in his house...
I suggest you think twice instead of wasting your youth with this loser. -
I think he meant YUNAN..??Originally posted by Yunhaier:whois yunhan?
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Wah rao eh... these days busy leh!
Cheers -
Thanks all for ur kind advices. Now, he had revealed all the underlying truths abt his colleague and I think I felt better that he has got no other motives. Only thing i have to get over is that he went out knowing other gals...haiz.
Glad that now he has changed.... he knows he's wrong. I kept telling myself not to dwell in the past if i wana spend my life together with him happily. If not i will not only force him to hate me and soured our relationship once more. -
I really hope that he can change,
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Same here, i had been crying all nights for almost a wk.... and he got so agitated. And juz a few nights ago, i ran out of the house. Cuz i'm really going hysterical... He hates to see me cry, so i rather sit at the void deck and cry in the midnight. He calls me and told me that he's already trying his best to avoid his colleague but my behaviour is making him crazy too. He says he's tired of it that i kept dwelling in the past even thou i told him that i m willing to give him another chance..................
Then he asked if i want to come home.....so i walk home alone.........in tears... I think at that point of time, i really duno what i m doing.. I canot think logically.. Maybe I am too narrow...minded -
Does he expect you to just suddenly dry your tears, forget about all the wrongs he's done, and keep a smiling face for him? Ask him to be more sensitive, after all the hurt he's inflicted on you. Remind him that when he got involved with the 3rd party, both of you had already ROM => commitment. He still went to fool around and now have to gall to say such insensitive things to you.Originally posted by kiekie:Same here, i had been crying all nights for almost a wk.... and he got so agitated. And juz a few nights ago, i ran out of the house. Cuz i'm really going hysterical... He hates to see me cry, so i rather sit at the void deck and cry in the midnight. He calls me and told me that he's already trying his best to avoid his colleague but my behaviour is making him crazy too. He says he's tired of it that i kept dwelling in the past even thou i told him that i m willing to give him another chance..................
Then he asked if i want to come home.....so i walk home alone.........in tears... I think at that point of time, i really duno what i m doing.. I canot think logically.. Maybe I am too narrow...minded
Has he really changed, or is it on the surface only?
I think you should try to talk/share with someone else, e.g. a friend or SOS counsellor to help you clear your emotions. There are some tel numbers which you may like to call at the top of this forum.