Choice Of Guys - A or B? HELP!
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Originally posted by parn:ME
Alot of B Guys around cos when Singaporean guys fall in love, they became B Guys...caring, considerate, always there for you...almost too perfect for the start. But eventually when they're together with you, they tries very hard to keep up with their B Guys act and it won't take long for you to find out they're actually not B Guys.
Why do most guy feel miserable sometimes even after getting attached to the girl that he like? The only explaination is because he wasn't behaving truely to himself while he's going after the gal. Trying his best to sweep/hide all his character flaws and immaturity while going after the gal certainly took him alot of effort to hide it efficiently. And on top of that, he needed to come up with new tricks and treats to keep his gal happy and loved. How long can any guy keep up with that kind of living lies? So when their living lies fell through, so did their relationship.
And the worse fact is...a lot of Singaporean guys are like that.
I don't believe in stereotyping rich guys and poor guys. And it doesn't means that the guy is rich means he must flirt and dump gals....that's silly to make such assumptions. And doesn't means poor guys won't flirt and dump gals, a lot of flirting and dumping in reality are done by poor guys. Reason is just because there are more available poor guys than rich guys around.
Eventually it is still up to glossy_matte to make her own decision. She can stick with B and live out the relationship wondering if B is the right one for her while thinking of A every now and then...until she's eventually too old for decision and stuck to B for life and marries B. OR She could take her chances with A while denying SEX till A marries her....LOL.
She won't even remember B at all if A is really serious about her all this while. Even if she's going to fail her relationship with either A or B, at least she'll have happier memories/histories with A than B. She won't feel that she've wasted her age and time on a boring guy. Don't you know that is very important to a girl???
So I would still advise glossy_matte to pick the guy who will bring her the most happiness. Do you guys really seriously think that girls would glady get stuck with guys just became he's first in the queue?
I think wiser girls would rather be dumped than to get stuck with boring guys for the rest of their lives...cos that's real misery.
I think guys who are able enough to ruffle the feathers of any girls are indeed rare and mystical enough to for her to give him a chance. So she should give herself and him and chance for a romance. But if the girl is insecure, best decision for her is to choose the most static guy....which is Guy B.
Good luck. my 2 cents. no offense nothing personal. here goes...........
they say nice guys come in last.
you just re-affirmed that.
this type of mentality makes it such an uphill task for people who love you to protect you from the packs of wolves in sheep skin out on the streets.
mysterious guys are fascinating to inexperienced girls because they're reminded of some fictional character from fantasy books or movies.
but such guys can pull a mysterious vanishing act too.
not so soon but after they finish their fun at least.
and that's about as long as his novelty last.
since such guys realize they're so innately irrestible to uninitiated girls, they aren't gonna settle for just 1 girl at a time. you're gonna get double-crossed, triple-crossed...... marriage won't stop them either. girls lose out to guys in this waiting game because their 'value' depreciates with age so don't waste your precious youth on such lame bastards. but you must learn to distinguish the genuine B guys from the cheap imitations. to this extent i agree with you. given a choice between 'A' and a fake 'B', just choose 'A' if in a hurry to choose. genuine 'B's are very rare, your chances of meeting and identifying 1 are not high so if you find 1, treasure him -
Guy B is a myth nowadays?
ironic... -
let's be humbleOriginally posted by R3SsH|n:Guy B is a myth nowadays?
ironic...
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Maybe C, D, E or F - the one that won't make you develop insomnia
but sound sleep every night!
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Your first sentence about guy Bs is so very wrong. A lot of Guy Bs are not acting. They really are Guy Bs from the start till the end. Perhaps bad company you mix with, judging from the observation that you prefer the bad guys to start off with.. no offense and I could be wrong..Originally posted by parn:ME
Alot of B Guys around cos when Singaporean guys fall in love, they became B Guys...caring, considerate, always there for you...almost too perfect for the start. But eventually when they're together with you, they tries very hard to keep up with their B Guys act and it won't take long for you to find out they're actually not B Guys.
Why do most guy feel miserable sometimes even after getting attached to the girl that he like? The only explaination is because he wasn't behaving truely to himself while he's going after the gal. Trying his best to sweep/hide all his character flaws and immaturity while going after the gal certainly took him alot of effort to hide it efficiently. And on top of that, he needed to come up with new tricks and treats to keep his gal happy and loved. How long can any guy keep up with that kind of living lies? So when their living lies fell through, so did their relationship.
And the worse fact is...a lot of Singaporean guys are like that.
I don't believe in stereotyping rich guys and poor guys. And it doesn't means that the guy is rich means he must flirt and dump gals....that's silly to make such assumptions. And doesn't means poor guys won't flirt and dump gals, a lot of flirting and dumping in reality are done by poor guys. Reason is just because there are more available poor guys than rich guys around.
Eventually it is still up to glossy_matte to make her own decision. She can stick with B and live out the relationship wondering if B is the right one for her while thinking of A every now and then...until she's eventually too old for decision and stuck to B for life and marries B. OR She could take her chances with A while denying SEX till A marries her....LOL. She won't even remember B at all if A is really serious about her all this while. Even if she's going to fail her relationship with either A or B, at least she'll have happier memories/histories with A than B. She won't feel that she've wasted her age and time on a boring guy. Don't you know that is very important to a girl???
So I would still advise glossy_matte to pick the guy who will bring her the most happiness. Do you guys really seriously think that girls would glady get stuck with guys just became he's first in the queue? I think wiser girls would rather be dumped than to get stuck with boring guys for the rest of their lives...cos that's real misery.
I think guys who are able enough to ruffle the feathers of any girls are indeed rare and mystical enough to for her to give him a chance. So she should give herself and him and chance for a romance. But if the girl is insecure, best decision for her is to choose the most static guy....which is Guy B.
Good luck.
She has already mentioned that guy A is KNOWN for being a casanova, flirt etc.. He already has a track record of dumping girls after hes finished.
If you think a girl is wise since she is willing to risk emotional pain for short term cheap thrills then there is nothing I can say..
I agree. Choose the one that will give her the most happiness in the long run. You state that being stuck with Guy B will be miserable since hes static. How can you tell? Are you glossy_matte?
In addition, you are asking her to plan to fail in her relationship. Yes divorce and sh!t happens. But shouldn't one plan for success and preservation? The route you are leading her is to eventual breaking up. Do you think marriage with Guy A will be plain sailing and exciting all the way? The infatuation factor will be gone after several years.. and it will be up to the couples to keep the flame going.. Unfortunately, Guy A is all about infatuation so that leaves us...? -
Originally posted by glossy_matte:Guy A
Comes from a wealthy family, smart too. Downside is that he treats everything as a challenge and stoop to anything to get what he wants. Has a glib tongue and is known as a flirt.
Guy B
Comes from middle income family, honest and hardworking. Treats everyone well and no matter what he does, he puts me in the first place and is always there for me. But he can get kind of boring at times. He knows that Guy A is courting me but he doesn't confront him, he just tells me to make the best decision for myself and he will always be there no matter what.
Guy A is much better looking than Guy B.
I have just started a relationship with guy B and things are getting boring. Although he tries hard to keep things going but I just feel bored with him after I met guy A.
Guy A is courting me although he knows I'm attached. I can't help but fall for his charms. He's the kind that knows how to please a girl and I really enjoy hanging out with him. He claims that I am the one for him.
I don't who should I choose. I am worried that guy A is not true as he's known to be a player. While I'm really touched by guy B, I just don't feel that I love him much.
Am I too judgemental?
Why are we discussing who to choose from when in fact you are ALREADY in a relationship with B? If your position is such that you are single and available, fine, you can have all the time to make a decision even though ultimately you have not have a decision at all, or make a decision in which you may ultimately regret.
Your comparison merely shows how lack of understanding you have for yourself, with regards to what you want in Love. Don't be mistaken, both A and B doesn't matter to me - what matters is what you are looking for. So what if A is a flirt, rich, good looking and B is the typical nice guy... the fact is that you have two choices and when put into situations where you have choices - you don't know what you want. In tarot (and CloUdiSm), this is known as the Seven of Cups - the wish list.
You are touched by guy B, but you don't love him very much, then why are you in a relationship with him? Is being 'touched' a reason enough to justify a relationship? Many people can do many times to make someone feel touched and loved, but the emphasise is not what you do... more like what you feel and what you want.
What happens is that you are being subjected to temptation and the fact that you are so vulnerable is because you don't really love your bf very much. Of course! A truly satisfied woman cannot be seduced; guy A understands this theory completely. There is a gap in your fortification that surround your relationship - probably a sooner/later thing before all is lost.
You cannot just claim that he is far too charming and irresistible- you reciprocated his affection.
Cheers -
l will just leave u with some of my thoughts:
1. Show and teach Guy B how to love, and he will definitely love u back. Come on man, like the others had said b4, Guy B is inexperience in love, of course he dunno how to love u in the right way. Do you best to guide him, as the saying goes, knowledge is power. However, one note of cautious if he goes the wrong path, chances are he will become Guy A. l think that's what "parn" was trying to say.
2. Want the relationship to grow, communicate often with each other
3. Forget abt Guy A. Those f***ers just wan the love hole of yours. Once they got it, they will either dump u or ask for more. I agree with "parn" tt Guy A can be rich or poor. But their agenda are more or less the same. I had 2 friends. Z is a rich guy, Y belong to the lower income class. Z party like crazy, flirt like crazy, as for the sex pt l am not quite sure. But he aint a virgin at 17. Y, tt guy is looking for another exp. And my colleagues are no better -
Wow. Can't believe my eyes that most people are choosing B, or is it easier to say so in a forum.
Ignore my sentence above... Chose B. -
bbb
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how u know?Originally posted by HunterKiller86:l will just leave u with some of my thoughts:
1. Show and teach Guy B how to love, and he will definitely love u back. Come on man, like the others had said b4, Guy B is inexperience in love, of course he dunno how to love u in the right way. Do you best to guide him, as the saying goes, knowledge is power. However, one note of cautious if he goes the wrong path, chances are he will become Guy A. l think that's what "parn" was trying to say.
2. Want the relationship to grow, communicate often with each other
3. Forget abt Guy A. Those f***ers just wan the love hole of yours. Once they got it, they will either dump u or ask for more. I agree with "parn" tt Guy A can be rich or poor. But their agenda are more or less the same. I had 2 friends. Z is a rich guy, Y belong to the lower income class. Z party like crazy, flirt like crazy, as for the sex pt l am not quite sure. But he aint a virgin at 17. Y, tt guy is looking for another exp. And my colleagues are no better
mayb HER agenda is to be get laid by guy A???
u never know ok??? hee -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
I second that. Why are we discussing who to choose from when in fact you are ALREADY in a relationship with B? If your position is such that you are single and available, fine, you can have all the time to make a decision even though ultimately you have not have a decision at all, or make a decision in which you may ultimately regret.
Your comparison merely shows how lack of understanding you have for yourself, with regards to what you want in Love. Don't be mistaken, both A and B doesn't matter to me - [b]what matters is what you are looking for. So what if A is a flirt, rich, good looking and B is the typical nice guy... the fact is that you have two choices and when put into situations where you have choices - you don't know what you want. In tarot (and CloUdiSm), this is known as the Seven of Cups - the wish list.
You are touched by guy B, but you don't love him very much, then why are you in a relationship with him? Is being 'touched' a reason enough to justify a relationship? Many people can do many times to make someone feel touched and loved, but the emphasise is not what you do... more like what you feel and what you want.
What happens is that you are being subjected to temptation and the fact that you are so vulnerable is because you don't really love your bf very much. Of course! A truly satisfied woman cannot be seduced; guy A understands this theory completely. There is a gap in your fortification that surround your relationship - probably a sooner/later thing before all is lost.
You cannot just claim that he is far too charming and irresistible- you reciprocated his affection.
Cheers [/b]
This gal got a big problem with herself.
Honestly,
1) If she is single, i wud say go with type A
cos i do believe that Type B can sometimes be 'stony'
and stupid gals simply get stucked with guys like that.
Thats why there are gals who married their sec/high school
bfs wo looking around enough first.
And it also seemed like she is the type that prefers more exciting
lifestyle.
2) But she is attached!!! so she got a big problem herself. -
I thinK A is gd if u are just out for Fun...
but B is betta if u wanna long term...
Mayb u can try A... den if u find him yucks and irritating.. den u go back to B loR.... Since B dun mind.. why u must mind? -
serotonin at work
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it not this guy is boring, it becos she found a new love ma...... a love tat we all dun think will last de loh..... haiz... started with B liao so fast like another 1 liao.... GUYs, do u all wan a gal like tat?Originally posted by glossy_matte:Guy A
Comes from a wealthy family, smart too. Downside is that he treats everything as a challenge and stoop to anything to get what he wants. Has a glib tongue and is known as a flirt.
Guy B
Comes from middle income family, honest and hardworking. Treats everyone well and no matter what he does, he puts me in the first place and is always there for me. But he can get kind of boring at times. He knows that Guy A is courting me but he doesn't confront him, he just tells me to make the best decision for myself and he will always be there no matter what.
Guy A is much better looking than Guy B.
I have just started a relationship with guy B and things are getting boring. Although he tries hard to keep things going but I just feel bored with him after I met guy A.
Guy A is courting me although he knows I'm attached. I can't help but fall for his charms. He's the kind that knows how to please a girl and I really enjoy hanging out with him. He claims that I am the one for him.
I don't who should I choose. I am worried that guy A is not true as he's known to be a player. While I'm really touched by guy B, I just don't feel that I love him much.
Am I too judgemental? -
For short term fun = guy A
Long term security = guy B
don't regret giving up guy B for guy A , coz since u know A's a player... you should know that things won't last that long with him... -
depends on what you're looking for......
If you "wan de qi"... and you're not looking for a long term partner... then go with A loh...... -
it depends on urself...
choose A if:
- u can't live w/o gucci handbags and versace clothes
- u can get him to marry u.. nvm if he strays, divorce him and get huge amt of maintenance.. its the money that counts
- u need to flaunt a handsome and rich bf in front of ur frenz
- u tink u r smarter than him, can get him to buy u expensive stuff and then ditch him later on
- u can't take eating in hawker centres and food courts
- u can tolerate the thought of him in bed with other women when he say he's busy at work
choose B if:
- u need someone by ur side when u r feeling down
- u think of sharing ur life with someone loyal to u
- u want him to remember and celebrate ur birthday every year -
knn sound like the zhen qing plot...shengxiao, vietnam and that Dr. ShiOriginally posted by glossy_matte:Guy A
Comes from a wealthy family, smart too. Downside is that he treats everything as a challenge and stoop to anything to get what he wants. Has a glib tongue and is known as a flirt.
Guy B
Comes from middle income family, honest and hardworking. Treats everyone well and no matter what he does, he puts me in the first place and is always there for me. But he can get kind of boring at times. He knows that Guy A is courting me but he doesn't confront him, he just tells me to make the best decision for myself and he will always be there no matter what.
Guy A is much better looking than Guy B.
I have just started a relationship with guy B and things are getting boring. Although he tries hard to keep things going but I just feel bored with him after I met guy A.
Guy A is courting me although he knows I'm attached. I can't help but fall for his charms. He's the kind that knows how to please a girl and I really enjoy hanging out with him. He claims that I am the one for him.
I don't who should I choose. I am worried that guy A is not true as he's known to be a player. While I'm really touched by guy B, I just don't feel that I love him much.
Am I too judgemental?
feel like slapping the shengxiao. want to get the best of both worlds..
make a fuxing decision and stick to it!! -
Originally posted by glossy_matte:Guy A
Comes from a wealthy family, smart too. Downside is that he treats everything as a challenge and stoop to anything to get what he wants. Has a glib tongue and is known as a flirt.
Guy B
Comes from middle income family, honest and hardworking. Treats everyone well and no matter what he does, he puts me in the first place and is always there for me. But he can get kind of boring at times. He knows that Guy A is courting me but he doesn't confront him, he just tells me to make the best decision for myself and he will always be there no matter what.
Guy A is much better looking than Guy B.
I have just started a relationship with guy B and things are getting boring. Although he tries hard to keep things going but I just feel bored with him after I met guy A.
Guy A is courting me although he knows I'm attached. I can't help but fall for his charms. He's the kind that knows how to please a girl and I really enjoy hanging out with him. He claims that I am the one for him.
I don't who should I choose. I am worried that guy A is not true as he's known to be a player. While I'm really touched by guy B, I just don't feel that I love him much.
Am I too judgemental? any idiot who choose A is masochistic and loves to be controlled.
down with BDSM! -
Guy A - is just a selfish guy who just want to acheive his own needs which is u, where he know u r into a r/s & just wan to step into it as 3rd party with the intention of u breaking up with guy B.
Guy B seem to be the nice & true to u, however love cannot be forced if u dun hav feeling for him, it's better that u break his heart now than later.
However, breaking up with Guy B, may mean more chance for guy A to have more advantage to court u furthur, however, my advise is stay away from him & before u get burned urself, i'm sure there are plenty guy which u can find the right chemistry to. -
Originally posted by NuLife:
Right...that's why I suggested wiser girls would rather be dumped than dumped their bfs first.
thou.. i agree to some extend w what u say here...
but shudnt it be
"I think wiser girls would [b]rather dump their bf than to get stuck with boring guys for the rest of their lives...cos that's real misery."
but dun you forget,
"dumping one for another"
and "dumping one and look for another" are different
and it shows the persons character and how they respect others feelings.
dunno her age...if she is very young still..
then its forgivable to wat i said prevly...
else if she is of marriagble age seg mid-late 20s,
then something is wrong with her.
"am i too judgemental ??" hee..
[/b] -
Yup...so look for Guy A who are actually Guy B in reality. That's so much better than getting stuck to Guy B who are really Guy B. Genuine 'B's Guys are dull and boring, even though they are sincere and considerate and polite and always there for you...sometimes they tries too hard to impress and you'll feel like you're with the wrong guy. And how can they be rare since there are a lot of Guy Bs in this forum and outside this forum?Originally posted by boy in blues: my 2 cents. no offense nothing personal. here goes...........
they say nice guys come in last.
you just re-affirmed that.
this type of mentality makes it such an uphill task for people who love you to protect you from the packs of wolves in sheep skin out on the streets.
mysterious guys are fascinating to inexperienced girls because they're reminded of some fictional character from fantasy books or movies.
but such guys can pull a mysterious vanishing act too.
not so soon but after they finish their fun at least.
and that's about as long as his novelty last.
since such guys realize they're so innately irrestible to uninitiated girls, they aren't gonna settle for just 1 girl at a time. you're gonna get double-crossed, triple-crossed...... marriage won't stop them either. girls lose out to guys in this waiting game because their 'value' depreciates with age so don't waste your precious youth on such lame bastards. but you must learn to distinguish the genuine B guys from the cheap imitations. to this extent i agree with you. given a choice between 'A' and a fake 'B', just choose 'A' if in a hurry to choose. genuine 'B's are very rare, your chances of meeting and identifying 1 are not high so if you find 1, treasure him -
Guy A who are actually Guy B in reality?Originally posted by parn:Yup...so look for Guy A who are actually Guy B in reality. That's so much better than getting stuck to Guy B who are really Guy B. Genuine 'B's Guys are dull and boring, even though they are sincere and considerate and polite and always there for you...sometimes they tries too hard to impress and you'll feel like you're with the wrong guy. And how can they be rare since there are a lot of Guy Bs in this forum and outside this forum?
you think every guy is like me ah?
just kidding -
Actually I am quite disturbed by this comment... just because there are lots of B guys means you can fool around?? then in the end after everything fall back on them?? sounds like these guys are meant to be used...Originally posted by parn:Choose Guy A but deny him SEX till he marries you for good. Lots of Guy Bs around, so don't worry.
I am quite sad for you... seem like you have never met a guy that is nice, caring and so on, since all of them lie, fake, hide flaws.... I do know of guys who dont act, but are truely B guys from the bottom of their hearts... From what you are saying, since most B guys are just pretending, then theres no point in discussing whether to choose A or B, just choose A...Originally posted by parn:ME
Alot of B Guys around cos when Singaporean guys fall in love, they became B Guys...caring, considerate, always there for you...almost too perfect for the start. But eventually when they're together with you, they tries very hard to keep up with their B Guys act and it won't take long for you to find out they're actually not B Guys.
Why do most guy feel miserable sometimes even after getting attached to the girl that he like? The only explaination is because he wasn't behaving truely to himself while he's going after the gal. Trying his best to sweep/hide all his character flaws and immaturity while going after the gal certainly took him alot of effort to hide it efficiently. And on top of that, he needed to come up with new tricks and treats to keep his gal happy and loved. How long can any guy keep up with that kind of living lies? So when their living lies fell through, so did their relationship.
And the worse fact is...a lot of Singaporean guys are like that.
Anyway, who says only guys hide flaws?????. Gals are the ones who HIDE MORE FLAWSSSSS........ Why do gals put on makeup??? why do gals avoid wearing something that might make them look fat??? why do some gals wear pushup bras??? so, to say a B guy hide his flaws through acting is actually an unfair comment... do gals even show their flaws out in open in the first place??? I doubt so... Everyone has flaws, who wants to show it??? -
I'm correct cos even the most genuine Guy B will eventually side-tracked from their Guy B personality because they tries too hard to maintain their perfectness. And when guys became too agreeable with everything, they unconsciously became a wimp and loses the strong side of their personality - their ability to lead in the relationship...and it becomes boring for girls cos they don't need 'servants'.Originally posted by DriftingGuy:Your first sentence about guy Bs is so very wrong. A lot of Guy Bs are not acting. They really are Guy Bs from the start till the end. Perhaps bad company you mix with, judging from the observation that you prefer the bad guys to start off with.. no offense and I could be wrong..
She has already mentioned that guy A is KNOWN for being a casanova, flirt etc.. He already has a track record of dumping girls after hes finished.
If you think a girl is wise since she is willing to risk emotional pain for short term cheap thrills then there is nothing I can say..
I agree. Choose the one that will give her the most happiness in the long run. You state that being stuck with Guy B will be miserable since hes static. How can you tell? Are you glossy_matte?
In addition, you are asking her to plan to fail in her relationship. Yes divorce and sh!t happens. But shouldn't one plan for success and preservation? The route you are leading her is to eventual breaking up. Do you think marriage with Guy A will be plain sailing and exciting all the way? The infatuation factor will be gone after several years.. and it will be up to the couples to keep the flame going.. Unfortunately, Guy A is all about infatuation so that leaves us...?
Since the gal already know that Guy A is a flirt, then she'll be prepared for the breakups/dumping situation. On top of that, she could enjoy the romance that's in store for her if she chooses Guy A and there's a chance that Guy A will turn out to be Guy B if she's really the correct gal for him. And hence, no such emotional pain as what you've prescribed.
Guy B is static as according to glossy_matte mentioned that her bf tries hard to keep things going and she felt that the relationship is boring. If her bf is doing something but nothing have changed, that's as static as it can get...as far as I've observed.
I've given her some things to ponder upon from a girl's point of view. Have you tried being fair for once and look upon this matter from a girl's point of view?
If you're unable to do so, then you're not impartial enough to help anyone.