Choice Of Guys - A or B? HELP!
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How can guy A be actually guy B in reality??? theres a conflict in personality over here... unless you tell me that person has split personality???Originally posted by glossy_matte:
Guy A
Comes from a wealthy family, smart too. Downside is that he treats everything as a challenge and stoop to anything to get what he wants. Has a glib tongue and is known as a flirt.
Guy B
Comes from middle income family, honest and hardworking. Treats everyone well and no matter what he does, he puts me in the first place and is always there for me. But he can get kind of boring at times. He knows that Guy A is courting me but he doesn't confront him, he just tells me to make the best decision for myself and he will always be there no matter what. [/b][/quote]
[quote]Originally posted by parn:Yup...so look for Guy A who are actually Guy B in reality. That's so much better than getting stuck to Guy B who are really Guy B. Genuine 'B's Guys are dull and boring, even though they are sincere and considerate and polite and always there for you...sometimes they tries too hard to impress and you'll feel like you're with the wrong guy. And how can they be rare since there are a lot of Guy Bs in this forum and outside this forum?
Or do you actually mean... an exciting guy who knows how to talk, humor you and absolutely fun to be with in addition to being a person who genuinely treat people well in general??? Although there are such guys around, I think you can wait long long... -
I think the one who is static is glossy_matte... Why??? who is the one who is trying hard to keep things going??? not her bf!!! seems like glossy_matte isnt even making an effort to improve the relationship but is trying to find an excuse out of it, more or less she has already made a decision and wants others to justify it for her...Originally posted by parn:Guy B is static as according to glossy_matte mentioned that her bf tries hard to keep things going and she felt that the relationship is boring. If her bf is doing something but nothing have changed, that's as static as it can get...as far as I've observed.
We've given her some things to ponder upon from a guy's point of view.Have you tried being fair for once and look upon this matter from a guy's point of view?Originally posted by parn:I've given her some things to ponder upon from a girl's point of view. Have you tried being fair for once and look upon this matter from a girl's point of view?
If you're unable to do so, then you're not impartial enough to help anyone.
If you're unable to do so, then you're not impartial enough to help anyone. -
Originally posted by Crappyz:
So you agreed that there are more Guy Bs and they are not a rarity?
Actually I am quite disturbed by this comment... just because there are lots of B guys means you can fool around?? then in the end after everything fall back on them?? sounds like these guys are meant to be used...
I am quite sad for you... seem like you have never met a guy that is nice, caring and so on, since all of them lie, fake, hide flaws.... I do know of guys who dont act, but are truely B guys from the bottom of their hearts... From what you are saying, since most B guys are just pretending, then theres no point in discussing whether to choose A or B, just choose A...
Anyway, [b]who says only guys hide flaws?????. Gals are the ones who HIDE MORE FLAWSSSSS........ Why do gals put on makeup??? why do gals avoid wearing something that might make them look fat??? why do some gals wear pushup bras??? so, to say a B guy hide his flaws through acting is actually an unfair comment... do gals even show their flaws out in open in the first place??? I doubt so... Everyone has flaws, who wants to show it???[/b]
I'm sure that Guy Bs doesn't exists for real cos if he does, then he's as boring as what glossy_matte has described for her bf.
Would u rather be with someone who is real as what you know them to be or would you rather be with someone who is potentially not what you know them to be? We all know that Guy A is a flirt from rumours, but does anyone know if Guy B might not be what he projected himself to be all along?
Physical flaws don't hurt people as deep as personality/character flaws when they were both discovered as lies. -
Originally posted by Crappyz:How can guy A be actually guy B in reality??? theres a conflict in personality over here... unless you tell me that person has split personality???
Or do you actually mean... an exciting guy who knows how to talk, humor you and absolutely fun to be with in addition to being a person who genuinely treat people well in general??? Although there are such guys around, I think you can wait long long...
Well it's not my post anyway, but I'm glad that you could see my point which is highlighted in RED.
Don't feel bad even if you're so far away from being that person, cos I don't think it'll bother glossy_matte a bit. -
The following is an email that was written by Azrael.
In a way, it shows why some B guys actually get fedup so much so that they stop being nice guys.
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Death of a Nice Guy
By: Azrael
Women are always saying how they want a nice guyÂ…someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.
Bullshit.
Next time I hear that from a woman, I will say exactly that. Bullshit. Because you don't want the nice guys. Sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. But the truth is - you want the jerks. You want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. You want the guys who don't call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they're committed to you. You want the ones who don't talk to you, don't open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) If you do find a nice guy, you make sure he's unattainable. He has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he doesn't want a relationship at all. Basically, you want what you can't have.
You know how I know this? I used to be a nice guy. Yeah, I'm the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. I listen to your problems, I offer advice. Like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, I'm always there to back you up. I tell you how pretty you are. I tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. You say thanks, briefly, and then continue to rant about Jerk #2873.
I tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there's always that "butÂ…". Then you call me up at 1 in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it's made you. You make excuses for why he's been ignoring you. You make more plans to change him. "If." And, do you know what the worst part is? This is the guy you're attracted to. This is the guy you're willing to get physical with. This is the guy you're willing to lose your virginity to. You make a big deal about how you're not a slut, and you won't just kiss any guy. But you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. Or you want to. Or, you already have.
No, you don't want a nice guy. And don't give me that bullshit about "a good man is hard to find." There are millions of them out there. Probably hundreds around where you live. And I'm willing to bet you know a few. You know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? The one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? Is always willing to drop whatever he's doing to satisfy your needs?
What about him? No, of course not him. He's not enough of a jerk for you.
And the worst part? You don't want him nowÂ…but you will. When you get older, oh, say 30, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can't play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. Wait, I take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. We've been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we're all too happy to get it. We're nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you've been giving us for 15 years.
I used to be a nice guy. Fuck that. I took the phone calls, I dished out the compliments, I listened, I gave so much advice, shit, I should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. I used to be a nice guy, and I figured that I didn't need to actively look for a girl - that if I just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. I thought that I would make for an ideal partner, I'd open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.
I used to be a nice guy. What did that get me? 21 years of my right hand and softcore porn on Showtime. So, fuck it. Fuck it entirely. I'm not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. Next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn't called in a week, I'm just going to smile at you and say "Ok." In fact, maybe, I'll tell you to call him. Better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. Save us all some time. I feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.
And I like that.
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Do you know why some nice guys become bad??? No, they were not acting... its just that everyone take advantage of them, no one appreciates them, like I said in an earlier post, some people feel that they are MEANT TO BE USED, so these nice guys finally WAKE UP TO REALITY and the next moment, others label them as fakes, liers, actors... This is the sad reality -
Originally posted by Crappyz:
You shouldn't look from the guy's point of view cos eventually you're going to advise glossy_matte who is a girl. And if you can't understand her agony from her point of view....then who are you advising actually? Her bf???
We've given her some things to ponder upon from a [b]guy's point of view.Have you tried being fair for once and look upon this matter from a guy's point of view?
If you're unable to do so, then you're not impartial enough to help anyone.[/b]
Come back to Planet Earth plzzzz.................. -
Crappyz...pls keep your textbooks/reference books somewhere. We don't want to read them. Thanks.
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I never said B guys are a rarity... and they do exist for real... I disagree that B guys dont exist... and what do you mean by then he's asboring ???Originally posted by parn:So you agreed that there are more Guy Bs and they are not a rarity?
I'm sure that Guy Bs doesn't exists for real cos if he does, then he's asboring as what glossy_matte has described for her bf.
Would u rather be with someone who is real as what you know them to be or would you rather be with someone who is potentially not what you know them to be? We all know that Guy A is a flirt from rumours, but does anyone know if Guy B might not be what he projected himself to be all along?
Physical flaws don't hurt people as deep as personality/character flaws when they were both discovered as lies.
I think you are going out of topic, she said "honest and hardworking, boring at times" why do you keep assuming that ALL B GUYS ARE FAKE??? You have repeatedly shown that you are BIASED against B guys, how then can you objectively comment here???
And yes physical flaws dont hurt as much as personality flaws, so are you telling me that gals show their personality flaws openly to guys???
I dont feel bad not being that. Though I have my flaws, I am confident enough not to be unhappy over such trivial stuffOriginally posted by parn:Don't feel bad even if you're so far away from being that person, cos I don't think it'll bother glossy_matte a bit. -
So do you mean that she should have EMPHASISED that ONLY GALS, GAYS and GUYS who can think in the way of a girl can answer??? If that is so, then you are only seeing half of the actual picture, there is no objectivity here. You need to hear from both sides first before eventually advising her. That is the best way to make a decision, not to say: lets not hear the guys point of view... coz shes a gal... yes I'm not on Planet Earth and I dun intend to return anywayOriginally posted by parn:You shouldn't look from the guy's point of view cos eventually you're going to advise glossy_matte who is a girl. And if you can't understand her agony from her point of view....then who are you advising actually? Her bf???
Come back to Planet Earth plzzzz.................. -
Yah I know you dont want to read them since you are prejudiced... anyway, this isnt from a textbook/reference... this is from an actual person, flesh and blood... and you have just proved that you are biased again...Originally posted by parn:Crappyz...pls keep your textbooks/reference books somewhere. We don't want to read them. Thanks. -
btw where is glossy_matte?
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We all shld choose a partner that is "suitable" for us.
Not by the usual definition of nice/good guy/gal.
Everyones different and the type of partner that
will compliment our character is up to one to find.
But again, matte's situation is such that
she is choosing while she is still in a relationship!
I bet she is just an young gal looking for
more experinces and fun.
And really, the mattes' explanation of that guy A
really seemed a flirt more than anything else. -
U think guys like B are spare tyres ar?Originally posted by parn:Choose Guy A but deny him SEX till he marries you for good. Lots of Guy Bs around, so don't worry.
guys also have pride and feelings one leh... -
Okay this is just my 2 cents. No offense intended.Originally posted by parn:I'm correct cos even the most genuine Guy B will eventually side-tracked from their Guy B personality because they tries too hard to maintain their perfectness. And when guys became too agreeable with everything, they unconsciously became a wimp and loses the strong side of their personality - their ability to lead in the relationship...and it becomes boring for girls cos they don't need 'servants'.
Since the gal already know that Guy A is a flirt, then she'll be prepared for the breakups/dumping situation. On top of that, she could enjoy the romance that's in store for her if she chooses Guy A and there's a chance that Guy A will turn out to be Guy B if she's really the correct gal for him. And hence, no such emotional pain as what you've prescribed.
Guy B is static as according to glossy_matte mentioned that her bf tries hard to keep things going and she felt that the relationship is boring. If her bf is doing something but nothing have changed, that's as static as it can get...as far as I've observed.
I've given her some things to ponder upon from a girl's point of view. Have you tried being fair for once and look upon this matter from a girl's point of view?
If you're unable to do so, then you're not impartial enough to help anyone.
Like I said earlier, you cannot speak for all the Guy Bs out there. Some Guy Bs are genuinely Guy Bs. They are not acting what so ever.
Some Guy Bs like to act all jerk like or wayang the "bad boy" image. But thats not Guy A. Guy A ,as we have already seen from the poster, sees women as a challenge, will stoop to get anything he wants and is a flirt etc.
And theres a very high chance that Guy A will really be Guy A all the way. Whats stopping him from going after a more beautiful, sexier girlfriend once hes bored of glossy_matte.
The key point here is this: How can you be absolutely sure that Guy B is the only one at fault?
As many of the forumites here, both gals and guys here have earlier pointed out there is something amiss since she is now in a relationship with Guy B. Are you encouraging her to look for someone else while in another relationship?
After she got Guy A, what happens if she notice someone even better? Do you think that magical spark of infatuation will last forever? There will come a point when the relationship will start dulling out. Thats not an opinion, thats an observation of the majority of relationships.
When will it ever end if she keeps changing bfs once she finds someone better?
Like what a lot the forumites here have stated: A possible underlying reason is shes dumping Guy B right now simply because she found someone better. Guy B being boring, dull etc etc might just be an excuse.
Anyway the long post I have written is just another way of looking at this. I do understand your point however. -
u have my deepest condolences...
Originally posted by Crappyz:
The following is an email that was written by [b]Azrael.
In a way, it shows why some B guys actually get fedup so much so that they stop being nice guys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Death of a Nice Guy
By: Azrael
Women are always saying how they want a nice guyÂ…someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.
Bullshit.
Next time I hear that from a woman, I will say exactly that. Bullshit. Because you don't want the nice guys. Sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. But the truth is - you want the jerks. You want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. You want the guys who don't call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they're committed to you. You want the ones who don't talk to you, don't open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) If you do find a nice guy, you make sure he's unattainable. He has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he doesn't want a relationship at all. Basically, you want what you can't have.
You know how I know this? I used to be a nice guy. Yeah, I'm the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. I listen to your problems, I offer advice. Like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, I'm always there to back you up. I tell you how pretty you are. I tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. You say thanks, briefly, and then continue to rant about Jerk #2873.
I tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there's always that "butÂ…". Then you call me up at 1 in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it's made you. You make excuses for why he's been ignoring you. You make more plans to change him. "If." And, do you know what the worst part is? This is the guy you're attracted to. This is the guy you're willing to get physical with. This is the guy you're willing to lose your virginity to. You make a big deal about how you're not a slut, and you won't just kiss any guy. But you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. Or you want to. Or, you already have.
No, you don't want a nice guy. And don't give me that bullshit about "a good man is hard to find." There are millions of them out there. Probably hundreds around where you live. And I'm willing to bet you know a few. You know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? The one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? Is always willing to drop whatever he's doing to satisfy your needs?
What about him? No, of course not him. He's not enough of a jerk for you.
And the worst part? You don't want him nowÂ…but you will. When you get older, oh, say 30, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can't play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. Wait, I take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. We've been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we're all too happy to get it. We're nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you've been giving us for 15 years.
I used to be a nice guy. Fuck that. I took the phone calls, I dished out the compliments, I listened, I gave so much advice, shit, I should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. I used to be a nice guy, and I figured that I didn't need to actively look for a girl - that if I just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. I thought that I would make for an ideal partner, I'd open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.
I used to be a nice guy. What did that get me? 21 years of my right hand and softcore porn on Showtime. So, fuck it. Fuck it entirely. I'm not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. Next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn't called in a week, I'm just going to smile at you and say "Ok." In fact, maybe, I'll tell you to call him. Better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. Save us all some time. I feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.
And I like that.
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Do you know why some nice guys become bad??? No, they were not acting... its just that everyone take advantage of them, no one appreciates them, like I said in an earlier post, some people feel that they are MEANT TO BE USED, so these nice guys finally WAKE UP TO REALITY and the next moment, others label them as fakes, liers, actors... This is the sad reality[/b] -
U r too greedy
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according to the details u give..
i think guy b is better.
its not the money.. cause later marry because of money or whatever end up also not happy. soooo NONONOO..
character and personality more important.. scarli .. u and guy a not even 1 month he find another girl liao. rofl. glhf -
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Guy B better
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you know why u find B boring? coz u haven't had sex yet.. trust me.. those guys seem nice, and boring outside.. are horny bastards... bet u will have the best sex ever, after that, u no wanna hang out with A anymore!! B is boring becoz he knows he can more than make up for that flaw with his skills in bed... A is fun or looks fun coz he gotta be FUN, esp when his skills in bed sucks.. such guys normally have premature ejectulations. So for the long run... B is definitely better
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Brilliant....Originally posted by parn:Since the gal already know that Guy A is a flirt, then she'll be prepared for the breakups/dumping situation. On top of that, she could enjoy the romance that's in store for her if she chooses Guy A and there's a chance that Guy A will turn out to be Guy B if she's really the correct gal for him. And hence, no such emotional pain as what you've prescribed.
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Choose Guy A and hope that Guy A will turn out to be Guy B. Then why don't you choose Guy B from the start!! Fantastic chick logic from you.
Other than that I agreed with what you said.
A few years ago, me and my mate sat down and discuss my dates with a girl. I told him that I always insist on paying and buying her some gifts because that's what a gentleman should do.
He said," KNN...I knew you for ten years but I don't recall you paying for my dinner leh."
I realised from then that I was just putting up an act in front of the girl. ..because I wanted something from her. I bet she can smell that from afar as well.
But I believe people who are truly "Guy B" does exist. That KNN friend of mine is a good example actually. -
OMG...this thread is getting from worse to worst.
Now it's degrading the post with all those nonsense threads.
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For the last time
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Guy B are usually the types of guys who are still looking for a girlfriend now and never got any. Not that they're not nice enough, but they're just absolutely clueless about girls and relationships....not to mention the only sex that they have are with their right/left hands.
Girls don't just go into a relationship with any guys that are nice like Guy B. Don't you guys know that there's something called chemistry other than the usual physical attraction???
Glossy_matte is probably regretting now that she've made a wrong choice by being Guy B's girlfriend. The reason is because she's not happy cos she realised that there isn't any chemistry between Guy B and her despite the fact that Guy B tries very hard to make things work but actually doesn't at all.
Instead of choosing Guy B, why don't you guys advise Glossy_matte to choose neither of them? Don't you all know that she has already complained that Guy B is not what she wants? So get some education and stop pushing the unwanted goody-nice Guy B to Glossy_matte. She've already said that she realised she doesn't love Guy B that much.
Hate it when senseless people argued for the sake of argueing and end up destroying the purpose and intentions of the poster. -
Was that post for me? too long to read.Originally posted by parn:OMG...this thread is getting from worse to worst.
Now it's degrading the post with all those nonsense threads.
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For the last time
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Guy B are usually the types of guys who are still looking for a girlfriend now and never got any. Not that they're not nice enough, but they're just absolutely clueless about girls and relationships....not to mention the only sex that they have are with their right/left hands.
Girls don't just go into a relationship with any guys that are nice like Guy B. Don't you guys know that there's something called chemistry other than the usual physical attraction???
Glossy_matte is probably regretting now that she've made a wrong choice by being Guy B's girlfriend. The reason is because she's not happy cos she realised that there isn't any chemistry between Guy B and her despite the fact that Guy B tries very hard to make things work but actually doesn't at all.
Instead of choosing Guy B, why don't you guys advise Glossy_matte to choose neither of them? Don't you all know that she has already complained that Guy B is not what she wants? So get some education and stop pushing the unwanted goody-nice Guy B to Glossy_matte. She've already said that she realised she doesn't love Guy B that much.
Hate it when senseless people argued for the sake of argueing and end up destroying the purpose and intentions of the poster.
By the way, do you know where I can find some naked pictures of that girl in your avatar?
I need some pictures to keep my left and right hands occupied.
Thanks in advance. -
You noe why so mani people are saying guy B?
because even you yourself don't haf a good impression of guy a! -
Nice guys never win...whose gonna dispute that?