Im in pain!!
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try talking with her.... in depth... figure out the root cause... like...
is she insercure?
is she not mature enough?
is there something you can do to help change her habit?
is it the time of the month?
is she going through something big/stressfull?
is there something you are doing that is bugging her?
etc. -
Originally posted by Wolfwoof^^:
Wait wait. Her depression. Is it self-proclaimed or doctor diagnosed her to have depression? 2 different things, 2 different treaments. If she self-proclaimed that she has depression, she might be trying to escape from reality or she enjoys being sad, moody, in all those negative emotions or simply, she likes to indulge in self-pity.
I have tis gf who's suffering from depression. When shes normal. everything is ok..but when moodswings kicks in, she'll behave in a strange manner. Totally different person.. she realli disappoint me.
I tried to tolerate her, console her & counsel her but all i get is a cold attitude towards me. when i have thoughts of breaking up with her, all the things she had done for me came up in my brain... im in pain!
Then after sometime she'll be alright..loving, caring & thoughtful. My frds advise me to give her up but i... im confuse. Fyi, she had dump me for 7th time during our rs. Im so tired, so sick & so low morale
God help me.. argh, Y heaven make fun of me..
I had a gal-friend. Fun-loving, friendly and mild-tempered. She hardly had any mood-swing and was very out-door type of girl. 2 years ago, she jumped down from her 8th-storey apartment.
Her parents, friends and even boyfriend told her she is suffering from depression. Even the doctor said so but she was not even aware she was suffering from depression. Not only that, she was relectant to get treated. She felt she would be Ok but she was wrong.
She had constant feelings of sadness and tension. Her symptoms were constant, not mood-swings like your gf's. She was no longer out-door type, she lost interest in her usual activities/hobbies, she was constantly complaining of tiredness, her sleeping pattern changed as well as her appetite (she lost alot of weight). She felt hopeless and the last straw, her suicidal thoughts claimed her life. At age 23, she died. She lived in Jurong East.
From my experience, I felt your gf is acting or enjoys to be 'depressed' OR she has severe personality disorder. (I won't say she is possessed) A truly depressed person will not treat u so nice & loving suddenly and then tried to break up with u 7 times(unless u treated her badly and yet, refused to let her go).
There are plenty of such people around. They are so self-centered and closed-up that it's very difficult to get them to listen to change. It could be due to their upbringing or their surroundings. They might have been pampered by their parents that they became self-centered. Or they might have some bad experiences that caused them to shut themselves out from outside.
In either cases, they can only help themselves by growing up.
I advise you to leave her.
Cheers! -
Wolf,Originally posted by Wolfwoof^^:I have tis gf who's suffering from depression. When shes normal. everything is ok..but when moodswings kicks in, she'll behave in a strange manner. Totally different person.. she realli disappoint me. I tried to tolerate her, console her & counsel her but all i get is a cold attitude towards me. when i have thoughts of breaking up with her, all the things she had done for me came up in my brain... im in pain!
Then after sometime she'll be alright..loving, caring & thoughtful. My frds advise me to give her up but i... im confuse. Fyi, she had dump me for 7th time during our rs. Im so tired, so sick & so low morale
God help me.. argh, Y heaven make fun of me..
I think her problem lies in her previous relationship.
She dumped her previous boyfriend to be with you. Now she couldn't live with that.
When you decides to do a "sliding tackle" in the first place (regardless of whether it is morally correct or not), you should have considered whether she is able to take the pressure that comes along with it.
I don't want to jump into conclusions here, so you should try to find out the root of her problems first.
Has she mentioned to you that she feels isolated by people around her after the incident?
Has she mentioned that she's feeling guilty about forsaking her previous boyfriend and felt that she didn't give him a proper closure?
How does her family view your relationship with her?
Is she is feeling insecure now?
Find out the root of her problem then we can recommend help. -
leave herOriginally posted by Wolfwoof^^:I have tis gf who's suffering from depression. When shes normal. everything is ok..but when moodswings kicks in, she'll behave in a strange manner. Totally different person.. she realli disappoint me. I tried to tolerate her, console her & counsel her but all i get is a cold attitude towards me. when i have thoughts of breaking up with her, all the things she had done for me came up in my brain... im in pain!
Then after sometime she'll be alright..loving, caring & thoughtful. My frds advise me to give her up but i... im confuse. Fyi, she had dump me for 7th time during our rs. Im so tired, so sick & so low morale
God help me.. argh, Y heaven make fun of me.. -
Huh?? So fast a new girl already? I thought it's still the one he snatch from someone else.Originally posted by Ayukat:Eh, uncle, how many girlfriends u got? The proper 1? The clingy 1? The one you snatch from others? Now a depressed 1?
If it's a new girl forget what I said wolf. -
u go search using his nick, u see how many liaoOriginally posted by curiousOrange:Huh?? So fast a new girl already? I thought it's still the one he snatch from someone else.
If it's a new girl forget what I said wolf.
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do you know that depression can kill?Originally posted by Wolfwoof^^:Ya.. she told me b4 our rs tat she has depression
If she has depression, why don't she consult a shrink instead of just letting it be? They got good shrinks at NUH or go to IMH. If can afford, go to private shrinks.
No joke pal, get her to a shrink before her illness get worse.
By the way, how did she know she got depression if she never consult doctor before? What are her synptoms? -
i understand e depreseee cos im going thru dat..its like me..i relli need someone to lean on rite now and i cant lean on him bcos its bcos of him im depressed..its true..sometimes i feel relli happi wid him den sometimes i fall bak into e depression state where i jus wanna die..and its true also dat no one can help me but myself..but when u r in dis state..u jus keep thnking..gosh dis is it..i cant do it nemore..i wanna die... n its during dis time dat i wish someone can trully accompany me n talk to me n make me feel better..right now..i thnk my life sux..i dun haf any self esteem..i hate how i look..i hate how thngs r going wid my bf...sch sux and my frens r too busy for me...im broke and im living all alone...e silence is piercing my earss and i dont know wad to do..i jus wanna feel better..dat there is sumthn out there worth living for...or maybe i need a sincere companion...or mebe im jus relli helpless...what do u guys think?
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I used to be with a gf who also suffers from depression. We broke up eventually. I've went through her mood swing, and rediculous accusations. She was also overly obsessed with her health conditon, and start to hallucinate that she has incurable disease. I tried to get her to see a psychiatrist, but failed.Originally posted by Wolfwoof^^:I have tis gf who's suffering from depression. When shes normal. everything is ok..but when moodswings kicks in, she'll behave in a strange manner. Totally different person.. she realli disappoint me. I tried to tolerate her, console her & counsel her but all i get is a cold attitude towards me. when i have thoughts of breaking up with her, all the things she had done for me came up in my brain... im in pain!
Then after sometime she'll be alright..loving, caring & thoughtful. My frds advise me to give her up but i... im confuse. Fyi, she had dump me for 7th time during our rs. Im so tired, so sick & so low morale
God help me.. argh, Y heaven make fun of me..
What I can offer was to try to get her to see a psychiatrist, if you love her and sincerely wants to help her. Work with her family, to give her all the support. She could be cold, angry at times, but it will be over.
Anyway, just to add on, my relationship ended in a way that I never expect it to be, so it's a bad example. -
-
Originally posted by dunamis:Wait wait. Her depression. Is it self-proclaimed or doctor diagnosed her to have depression? 2 different things, 2 different treaments. If she self-proclaimed that she has depression, she might be trying to escape from reality or she enjoys being sad, moody, in all those negative emotions or simply, she likes to indulge in self-pity.
I had a gal-friend. Fun-loving, friendly and mild-tempered. She hardly had any mood-swing and was very out-door type of girl. 2 years ago, she jumped down from her 8th-storey apartment.
Her parents, friends and even boyfriend told her she is suffering from depression. Even the doctor said so but she was not even aware she was suffering from depression. Not only that, she was relectant to get treated. She felt she would be Ok but she was wrong.
She had constant feelings of sadness and tension. Her symptoms were constant, not mood-swings like your gf's. She was no longer out-door type, she lost interest in her usual activities/hobbies, she was constantly complaining of tiredness, her sleeping pattern changed as well as her appetite (she lost alot of weight). She felt hopeless and the last straw, her suicidal thoughts claimed her life. At age 23, she died. She lived in Jurong East.
From my experience, I felt your gf is acting or enjoys to be 'depressed' OR she has severe personality disorder. (I won't say she is possessed) A truly depressed person will not treat u so nice & loving suddenly and then tried to break up with u 7 times(unless u treated her badly and yet, refused to let her go).
There are plenty of such people around. They are so self-centered and closed-up that it's very difficult to get them to listen to change. It could be due to their upbringing or their surroundings. They might have been pampered by their parents that they became self-centered. Or they might have some bad experiences that caused them to shut themselves out from outside.
In either cases, they can only help themselves by growing up.
I advise you to leave her.
Cheers!
-
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Wolf,
[b]I think her problem lies in her previous relationship.
She dumped her previous boyfriend to be with you. Now she couldn't live with that.
When you decides to do a "sliding tackle" in the first place (regardless of whether it is morally correct or not), you should have considered whether she is able to take the pressure that comes along with it.
I don't want to jump into conclusions here, so you should try to find out the root of her problems first.
Has she mentioned to you that she feels isolated by people around her after the incident?
nope
Has she mentioned that she's feeling guilty about forsaking her previous boyfriend and felt that she didn't give him a proper closure?
ya
How does her family view your relationship with her?
against our rs
Is she is feeling insecure now?
yupFind out the root of her problem then we can recommend help.
[/b] -
same gal la.Originally posted by curiousOrange:Huh?? So fast a new girl already? I thought it's still the one he snatch from someone else.
If it's a new girl forget what I said wolf. -
She can total ignore me, abuse me mentally & when she gets into moodswings, she'll find quarrel with meOriginally posted by laosu:do you know that depression can kill?
If she has depression, why don't she consult a shrink instead of just letting it be? They got good shrinks at NUH or go to IMH. If can afford, go to private shrinks.
No joke pal, get her to a shrink before her illness get worse.
By the way, how did she know she got depression if she never consult doctor before? What are her synptoms? -
Hi dunamis, I know you posted out of good intentions, but self-proclaimed or diagnosed, you never know whether it's clinical depression so I wouldn't advise such a person to be abandoned. It may just be leading to suicide eventually.Originally posted by dunamis:I advise you to leave her.
Cheers![/color]
She needs to have a list of willing people whom she can trust, so that she can go to them when she feels depressed. What these people need to do is simply to provide a pair of listening ears. No advice, no suggestions, no asking her to brace up, no asking her to 'wake up' - All these only accentuate her self-belief that she's worthless and hopeless and reinforce the depression.
I suggest a list of people, because honestly it can be tiring and frustrating for any one person if she goes to only him or her (like your situation).
I like the way alfagal offered help - she simply offered you a link to a list of helplines that you can call. Do encourage her to give one of the helplines a call. These helplines are manned by professionals.
As for others, please refrain from advising Wolfwoof to abandon his gf. If Wolfwoof is truly sure that it's petty tantrums, that's fine.. he should leave her and he would, if he does not love her anymore, and could no longer tolerate her nonsense. BUT we never know if it's true depression, because if it is, it can eventually mean eventual death through suicide if she feels the ultimate hopelessness.
Like what one of these guys say, Wolfwoof, you are really a great guy to have been through with your gf all this time. However, you need your breaks and private moments as well, so do make sure you have them.
Sounds like a broken record, but please.. do give one of the helplines a try. -
Originally posted by ellisbeck:Like what one of these guys say, Wolfwoof, you are really a great guy to have been through with your gf all this time. However, you need your breaks and private moments as well, so do make sure you have them.
Sounds like a broken record, but please.. do give one of the helplines a try. 
M©+square falls off the chair and die-ded.
Cheers!!!! -
are u the same guy who dumped a pregnant gf for another ger only to wanna give her up after a few weeks or sth?
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Originally posted by M©+square:
M©+square falls off the chair and die-ded.
Cheers!!!! -
he is getting his karma backOriginally posted by shinta:are u the same guy who dumped a pregnant gf for another ger only to wanna give her up after a few weeks or sth? -
i was abt to say that too.......... snatch a depressed/split personality gal now tai jee juay juay.Originally posted by rainee:he is getting his karma back -
Poor Girl following him...Originally posted by rainee:he is getting his karma back
I pity the girl most. -
ah... n i tot i rmb wrongly..
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Originally posted by Wolfwoof^^:
One thought it was still the same pregnant girl you were talking about, only this time she is suffering from pre- or post-natal depression.
same gal la. -
Hello......for those who need professional help, I recommend NUH neuroscience ward. Call 6772 2002 for appointment. Go see Dr. Calvin Fones. The doctor might give you some medicine. It's good to take the medicine because it will help calm your mood. Don't rely on just talking/ sharing because taking the medicine is an important part too.
So call now 6772 2002.
What you need to recognize is that mental illness is treatable and there's medicine for it. Don't ignore or underestimate mental illness, or refuse medication.
Call now.
6772 2002.
Dr. Calvin Fones. -
let us dun rub it in bah. no matter what sort of person he is, tat his problem.. we give whatever advice we know and let him sort out the mess himsef.
karma or not.. time will tell.