Is waiting a fool's game? (for love)
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Retarded isnt something I would describe us. More to dimwitted or nitwit? Which sounds cooler or has a ring in it =p haha. But seriously, when I love da girl, I will wait... until I can wait no longer. Its really me. Cant help it now can I?Originally posted by FBI:haha blamed ourselves being retarded. U might wanna use maths on that question. N = bblablabla Take N = to watever
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We do talk in class or msn, sometimes but its quite rare, usually we are with and in a group of friends. So 1 to 1 wouldnt be that subtle isnt it hehehe But even then, I'm seriously doubting my ability to get a loved one.Originally posted by FBI:Look man she didn't even reply u and that means u still have 50 percent. The rest of the 50 u gonna earn it yourself. Slowly man, i believe u have hope unless u got some rivals
Mhmm if earning those % were proportional to how much effort and time I put in, I think i deserved something in return. But its not
too bad . Haha.
Sure got rivals, its like all the girls i like at least got some decent guy or some sort must come along and disrupt. Or less decent, but i dont count those as rivals, more like buggers. -
ic, u have a better vocab. I think we have a common char and that is stubborness. I will do the same thing 2 . U will hate it when u have rivals coming.
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Not really, just practice slightly more of english words. Just kiddingOriginally posted by FBI:ic, u have a better vocab. I think we have a common char and that is stubborness. I will do the same thing 2 . U will hate it when u have rivals coming.
. Determined and stubborn at the same time, until we fall badly that is. When we fall we fall harder then normal, so its really double jeopardy. No girl and more devastated.
Rivals are something of a challenge, pesky and irritating, but once you beat them, fulfilling. OK i sound dorky, sorry. But i welcome competition cause, its healthy and at least you learn from your mistakes. And try not to repeat them in future
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yes but u will hate them when yoir rivals use despicable moves. i believve there will cause i met alot of them
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Care to share some experience? I dont really know any despicable moves, cause I hardly count flamming your competitors aka Backstabbing them as despicable. Its a good strategy, just gotta live with the guilt thereafter.Originally posted by FBI:yes but u will hate them when yoir rivals use despicable moves. i believve there will cause i met alot of them
Right, I just realise the girls I like always speak to another close friend. And furthermore is a guy. Argh, this really makes me sad and a tad jealous... I wanna know more about her but she confides in another person. But i Dont doubt my friend motives for listening, hes nice. But another normal reaction is... Jealousy
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nah don use the word jealousy. Should b envious. It's good that u are envy. No nt flamming. Like this rival speaks ill of u infront of her making her believing that u are 1 big bad ass. Being nice to u suddenly but in fact jus trying to know wat's your next move to woo her. Being a hyprocrite, hidding his real personality infront of her but actully he is a bad person. Try many ways to take her away frm u so that u don get a chance to meet or talk to her.
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being friends is actually better than being girlfriend/boyfriend..that's what i feel,it lessens the awkwardness between 2 people..
but then when u get to the stage of wife/husband,of cos it's much better than being friends..
so my advice to u is to take it slow,jus be friends first..slowly interest them and if u can't,jus leave it be.. -
Originally posted by Dendrite88:Hi all, new here
Just wanna post something that has been on my mind for very long time, but dont really have the guts to. ( dont really know if this topic was created before, i apologise if i did a repeat thread)
Just a general statement, is waiting a fool's game (for love).
I know that in my case, I always have been waiting for the girl to accept me. Despite waiting for ages (sec1 - sec 2 End of year ) , all i Got was a negative reply. I put in the effort and time to woo the girl, but still , i guess i dont make the cut. Although the girl said NO to me once before, i continued to woo her still , thinking i can melt her heart.
But, then i asked again after another year, but this time i just realised that she has a boyfriend, so i discontinued my "waiting game". It was devastating, i was totally crushed and felt so lost. I wandered aimlessly in msn, games and all around thinking that this shouldnt be happening.
But i got back on my feet and widened my social circle (I only have a few close friends with me back then), I got to know this girl through IRC (same school) and she is supposedly to be the smart,nice,sweet, girl next door.
Half a year later (sec 3 mid year) , I found that we have common interests and stuffs so I decided to try my luck and began the "wooing process". I admit, i pestered her aimlessly on msn and smses. I told her I would wait for her, which took another half a year , and still we kept in contact and I still waited and waited and waited. But in the end, she gave me a reason to why cannot accept me, all due to studies. I was crushed yet once more, how many times God wanna test me? I asked myself whether is it because of my looks and character?
Then now, I'm in a poly, which i wont disclose, I just recently found interest in another girl (same class) , though she hinted to me many times that I do not stand a chance, I'm still determined to woo her. tell me, is history going to repeat itself and me... am I a fool, for this waiting game?
When you wait for someone who doesn't Love you, you are a fool.
Anyway, you don't exactly wait for a girl in your case; it is a matter of a failed chase/s with many failing attempts.
***
A final hug and time knew it.
Bus stop to sendÂ…a send to homeÂ… a permanent send.
Dreadful reluctance disperses while time ticks, with reality in hasteÂ… in same regular ticks.
Seconds seemed to speed pass proportionÂ… minutes moved in unison
Bursting heart with wordsÂ…only to be sealed with timely hesitation.
Long enough for time to escape the clutches of emotions.
In stasis of time… there are voices… voices from within…‘Time’s not right.’
Time lied…and the innocent lie was believed… trusted like a naïve child.
Deceptive time brushed pass and sever through the pounding heart.
There was a splitÂ… there was screamÂ… there was innate painÂ… felt after a delayed time frame.
Time locked agonyÂ… swirling constantly like dagger to fleshÂ…marking the thin walls of heart with lines of sadist pleasure.
Time had a promiseÂ… failed to deliverÂ…projected for time to mock at manÂ’s plain stupidity.
Diabolic timeÂ… kept kickingÂ… keep tickingÂ… kept kickingÂ… kept tickingÂ…
- Chronicles of yunhaier.
Christmas... has gone... december has concluded... and wtf am I doing...
P.S: Please ignore.
Cheers -
It has nothing to do with god.Originally posted by Dendrite88:Its really nice to see people dedicated and all, it beats people who go around hankering after girls like 23/7. Seriously, i think that i have lowered my expectations, matured a little bit but still, i Guess its all in God's hand now right?
I just feel the this waiting game is so... Unfair. But hey, life is unfair but why make the waiting game as unfair as life? not fair. I hate to sound like I'm whining, but well. Its the morning I guess.
Have you tried fishing before? Waiting doesn't necessarily guarantee you a fish by the end of the day.
If you have a choice, and you can be more proactive about it.. I say why not?
If you've already been rejected or you already see low / no chance, waiting is your personal choice... Nobody's really obligated to do anything for you... Really... -
this means that they are not so comfortable speaking to you. haha if they are very comfortable speaking to you, it's time to move on to another target.Originally posted by Dendrite88:Care to share some experience? I dont really know any despicable moves, cause I hardly count flamming your competitors aka Backstabbing them as despicable. Its a good strategy, just gotta live with the guilt thereafter.
Right, I just realise the girls I like always speak to another close friend. And furthermore is a guy. Argh, this really makes me sad and a tad jealous... I wanna know more about her but she confides in another person. But i Dont doubt my friend motives for listening, hes nice. But another normal reaction is... Jealousy -
yeah, hypocrites/backstabbers are the ones i hate to the core.. c'mon they are using underhand methods to get u off the gal's back.. i encounted this type of ppl many times be4 already.. if u notice, most of them comes frm those bengs/gangsters.. white collar shir type hypocrites also have, but they are stil not that extreme YET that i encounted..
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Oh this type of people I have yet to meet though, so not really much affected yet. But what should I do if I encounter this type of people?Originally posted by FBI:nah don use the word jealousy. Should b envious. It's good that u are envy. No nt flamming. Like this rival speaks ill of u infront of her making her believing that u are 1 big bad ass. Being nice to u suddenly but in fact jus trying to know wat's your next move to woo her. Being a hyprocrite, hidding his real personality infront of her but actully he is a bad person. Try many ways to take her away frm u so that u don get a chance to meet or talk to her.
Yeah that is true, being friends is the 1st step huh?Originally posted by beavan:being friends is actually better than being girlfriend/boyfriend..that's what i feel,it lessens the awkwardness between 2 people..
but then when u get to the stage of wife/husband,of cos it's much better than being friends..
so my advice to u is to take it slow,jus be friends first..slowly interest them and if u can't,jus leave it be..
Husband and wife is a little to far still =p Interest them mhmm, shall try to find the interest.. Thanks -
Ouch, the truth is just harsh , I guess your right.Originally posted by Yunhaier: When you wait for someone who doesn't Love you, you are a fool.
Anyway, you don't exactly wait for a girl in your case; it is a matter of a failed chase/s with many failing attempts.
***
A final hug and time knew it.
Bus stop to sendÂ…a send to homeÂ… a permanent send.
Dreadful reluctance disperses while time ticks, with reality in hasteÂ… in same regular ticks.
Seconds seemed to speed pass proportionÂ… minutes moved in unison
Bursting heart with wordsÂ…only to be sealed with timely hesitation.
Long enough for time to escape the clutches of emotions.
In stasis of time… there are voices… voices from within…‘Time’s not right.’
Time lied…and the innocent lie was believed… trusted like a naïve child.
Deceptive time brushed pass and sever through the pounding heart.
There was a splitÂ… there was screamÂ… there was innate painÂ… felt after a delayed time frame.
Time locked agonyÂ… swirling constantly like dagger to fleshÂ…marking the thin walls of heart with lines of sadist pleasure.
Time had a promiseÂ… failed to deliverÂ…projected for time to mock at manÂ’s plain stupidity.
Diabolic timeÂ… kept kickingÂ… keep tickingÂ… kept kickingÂ… kept tickingÂ…
- Chronicles of yunhaier.
Christmas... has gone... december has concluded... and wtf am I doing...
P.S: Please ignore.
Cheers I should move on shant I?
Nice chronicles you have, basically Sums up the feelings and thoughts one in my cas would have, Your own creative work? Very good.
Theres so much truth in what you say devil, I'm expecting you to be experienced. So whilst waiting what do you do??Originally posted by Devil1976:It has nothing to do with god.
Have you tried fishing before? Waiting doesn't necessarily guarantee you a fish by the end of the day.
If you have a choice, and you can be more proactive about it.. I say why not?
If you've already been rejected or you already see low / no chance, waiting is your personal choice... Nobody's really obligated to do anything for you... Really... Tell me, I have indulge myself in games, going out with friends and more gaming (No drinking, underage ) . But it still makes me sad despite having friends around.
No obligation is true. Seriously think your darn right -
Hmmm, another truth, harsh yet true. Lets say we are alone for a few minutes, sometimes got topic to speak of, but usually I try but. Dont work. Guess gogogo another target.Originally posted by hxm:this means that they are not so comfortable speaking to you. haha if they are very comfortable speaking to you, it's time to move on to another target.
Share experience please, I have yet to encounter any of such jerks yetOriginally posted by HolySniper:yeah, hypocrites/backstabbers are the ones i hate to the core.. c'mon they are using underhand methods to get u off the gal's back.. i encounted this type of ppl many times be4 already.. if u notice, most of them comes frm those bengs/gangsters.. white collar shir type hypocrites also have, but they are stil not that extreme YET that i encounted.. 
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Two points you should think about Dendrite88Originally posted by Dendrite88:But seriously, when I love da girl, I will wait... until I can wait no longer. Its really me. Cant help it now can I?
1) It's obvious she is not attracted to you now...
What makes you think she will suddenly be attracted some years later if you wait?
Is it likely that she will wake up one morning and suddenly realise that you are the one for her?
2) Logic will tell you that when a method is not working, you have to change it.
Your past experiences has shown you that waiting and pestering cannot impress women at the initial stage.
You should be thinking how to change your approach instead of sticking to something that doesn't work.
Sincerity alone cannot make her attracted to you. -
Thanks for the reply, but what defines the attraction factor? Can you please elaborate more? Besides physical attraction I think sincerity is the only thing left.Originally posted by curiousOrange:Two points you should think about Dendrite88
1) It's obvious she is not attracted to you now...
What makes you think she will suddenly be attracted some years later if you wait?
Is it likely that she will wake up one morning and suddenly realise that you are the one for her?
2) Logic will tell you that when a method is not working, you have to change it.
Your past experiences has shown you that waiting and pestering cannot impress women at the initial stage.
You should be thinking how to change your approach instead of sticking to something that doesn't work.
Sincerity alone cannot make her attracted to you.
What approach can I use then that can at least assure me of not waiting for nothing?
Thanks so much for your comments above, deeply appreciated. -
patience is good, but do it wisely.
who say waiting means fool, it jus happens that the fool is waiting. seriously i dun like to treat gals (or guys) like target practice.. its really really cannot den move on.
besides, imo, one year isn't long.. or is it becuz im getting old le..
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What they said was right, patience is a virtue, but they didnt mention the pain or hurt that came with it.Originally posted by Ito_^:patience is good, but do it wisely. who say waiting means fool, it jus happens that the fool is waiting. seriously i dun like to treat gals (or guys) like target practice.. its really really cannot den move on.
besides, imo, one year isn't long.. or is it becuz im getting old le.. Guess moving on is the best sound advice I have received so far, 3 years in the same class, its going to be tough moving on.
Mhmm it really isnt long, but for people my age (17), its quite long I think, cause these days, I can see people change girls at their whims and fancies. Not saying that all are, just most -
Dendrite88Originally posted by Dendrite88:Thanks for the reply, but what defines the attraction factor? Can you please elaborate more? Besides physical attraction I think sincerity is the only thing left.
What approach can I use then that can at least assure me of not waiting for nothing?
There is an analogy I heard from a friend before. I really hope you can be inspired by it.
Imagine the attractive women out there are fishes in a tank.
A lot of guys were sitting around the fish tank.
They were discussing among themselves which fish is the most attractive. Some were practically sticking their face onto the glass surface of the fish tank, looking longingly at the fishes. They wanted to own the fishes so much but all they can say is this:
“These fishes had it easy all their lives. All they need to do is “peac0cking”. They display their best features and simply lure men like us to them like a magnet!”
And at that point of time, a man walked in.
He had a net in his hand.
He stood on top of the fish tank and he started scooping up the fishes. He turned and said to the men:
“You are all wrong.
After all, all the fishes can do is wait. If none of you takes any action, they remain in that tank!
I on the other hand am the real winner because I simply decide which fish I want and I scoop her up with my net!”
The men sitting around admiring the fishes are all the sincere guys out there who are still wondering and waiting.
You on the other hand must be the one who always stand on top of that fish tank.
The net represents your world.
The net represents confidence and strength. It represents the passions and dreams in your life. And it will include certain qualities that can make women take notice; humor, maturity, patience and of course like what you saidÂ…physical appearance.
I am sure a lot of people would have told you a version of that story. Every time you ask them how you can be successful in dating, they will tell you:
“Focus on your own life”,
“Pursue your hobbies”,
“Stop looking out for women and women will come to you”,
“Make sure you are financially secured”
They are in fact subconsciously telling you that you need to build a net before you can invite a woman into it.
Obviously, there will be other ways to get women. Given the fact that you are only 17 yrs old now, you might be looking for a quick fix to your problem.
But steer clear of trying to be something you arenÂ’t.
Fake confidence and fake strength can ensure that you will get some success through displaying jerk-like behavior. But there are so many of them out there who make the women miserable and ended up making themselves miserable as well.
If you are thinking of a long term and healthy relationship, what I described is one of the best possible path.
Good luck. -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Truly inspiring, almost led me to tears. What my situation is now, being described so vividly through that story, thanks so much orange
Dendrite88
There is an analogy I heard from a friend before. I really hope you can be inspired by it.
Imagine the attractive women out there are fishes in a tank.
A lot of guys were sitting around the fish tank.
They were discussing among themselves which fish is the most attractive. Some were practically sticking their face onto the glass surface of the fish tank, looking longingly at the fishes. They wanted to own the fishes so much but all they can say is this:
[b]“These fishes had it easy all their lives. All they need to do is “peac0cking”. They display their best features and simply lure men like us to them like a magnet!”
And at that point of time, a man walked in.
He had a net in his hand.
He stood on top of the fish tank and he started scooping up the fishes. He turned and said to the men:
“You are all wrong.
After all, all the fishes can do is wait. If none of you takes any action, they remain in that tank!
I on the other hand am the real winner because I simply decide which fish I want and I scoop her up with my net!”
The men sitting around admiring the fishes are all the sincere guys out there who are still wondering and waiting.
You on the other hand must be the one who always stand on top of that fish tank.
The net represents your world.
The net represents confidence and strength. It represents the passions and dreams in your life. And it will include certain qualities that can make women take notice; humor, maturity, patience and of course like what you saidÂ…physical appearance.
I am sure a lot of people would have told you a version of that story. Every time you ask them how you can be successful in dating, they will tell you:
“Focus on your own life”,
“Pursue your hobbies”,
“Stop looking out for women and women will come to you”,
“Make sure you are financially secured”
They are in fact subconsciously telling you that you need to build a net before you can invite a woman into it.
Obviously, there will be other ways to get women. Given the fact that you are only 17 yrs old now, you might be looking for a quick fix to your problem.
But steer clear of trying to be something you arenÂ’t.
Fake confidence and fake strength can ensure that you will get some success through displaying jerk-like behavior. But there are so many of them out there who make the women miserable and ended up making themselves miserable as well.
If you are thinking of a long term and healthy relationship, what I described is one of the best possible path.
Good luck.
[/b] you really brought something new into my life by introducing that story and how to cope with it. I am seeking of course for the long term r/s not some hogwash boyfriend and girlfriend thing. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
Im touched by all of you ladies and gentlemen replies, I will persevere and move on, Thanks so much -
attraction is a very large part which cant really be summarized...Originally posted by Dendrite88:Thanks for the reply, but what defines the attraction factor? Can you please elaborate more? Besides physical attraction I think sincerity is the only thing left.
to some gals/ladies...it maybe confidence, charisma or looks that attracts them to the guy...but there are also cases whereby gals/ladies get drawn to guys when they are playing in sports or doing something seriously...(this example is like when they are doing things without any motive)....maybe this type of love will last longer and much more sweeter then the other 3 that i have mentioned...thats what i think -
Arghh, I see, what you mentioned above I seem to lack 2/3 LOL. Confidence check, Humour check, other then that.. Big NONOOriginally posted by weijian:attraction is a very large part which cant really be summarized...
to some gals/ladies...it maybe confidence, charisma or looks that attracts them to the guy...but there are also cases whereby gals/ladies get drawn to guys when they are playing in sports or doing something seriously...(this example is like when they are doing things without any motive)....maybe this type of love will last longer and much more sweeter then the other 3 that i have mentioned...thats what i think thanks for elaboration ^-^
Happy new Year all
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sometimes even though others tell you that not to wait but move on and find another one, but deep down inside you'll try to convince yourself otherwise... i'm still experiencing that.
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Yeah, however hard you persuade yourself, you still find yourself looking at her every movements, some more in the same class for my case, how to avoid or ignore?Originally posted by thousandisland:sometimes even though others tell you that not to wait but move on and find another one, but deep down inside you'll try to convince yourself otherwise... i'm still experiencing that.
Its ok, we shall try our best shant we? Happy new year to you