Is waiting a fool's game? (for love)
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so canny the gal accepted u?
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canny? is she the one from the 3D girls? good luck brother!Originally posted by olala:so canny the gal accepted u?
and to olala, i feel your pain man. It hurts to wake up every morning knowing that she doesnt belong to u. In the past I used to think that height was a great problem as well. But as i got older i realise it doesn't matter anymore. Well, it will be easy for me to tell you to move on, but as they all say, at the end of the day just follow your heart, and hope her heart is not made of stone. -
Yeah, fully agree to the words in red. Even though I'm saying i'm focusing on other area of life, but when I'm back to my rest time and de-focus it all comes back. Not easy to move on. Alot of times will need another focus in the same relationship area or self-numbing and time to lessen the pricks on the heart.Originally posted by hypercurry:canny? is she the one from the 3D girls? good luck brother!
and to olala, i feel your pain man. It hurts to wake up every morning knowing that she doesnt belong to u. In the past I used to think that height was a great problem as well. But as i got older i realise it doesn't matter anymore. Well, it will be easy for me to tell you to move on, but as they all say, at the end of the day just follow your heart, and hope her heart is not made of stone.
But, don't take things too hard. She will not know how hurt you will feel missing her at a particular time. The situation will still remain as it is no matter how we feel inside.
Hmm... lolx seems I'm advising myself also
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I think waiting too long is dumb.
I waited for 4yr. As a result, I gave up opportunities to date other girls for 4years. I consequently endured teases for 4years because I was waiting for her. All i got in the end is nothing. Why should we guys put the girls on pedestral while underpinning ourselves at the bottom? Girls should be honoured and at the same time realise it is a bonus that someone is willing to do that.
Build your confidence. Improve your physique. In the end, it is us guys who dominate in society. No point agonising over 1 girl. The feminists might disagree with me by pointing our exceptions, but in terms of numbers, we guys dominate. If you look at the top cosmetic firm in the world (Loreal), you realise guys make up the majority throughout the corporate ladder. -
I think for some guys, if they dont wait for a long period, they wont give up and tell themselves to move on. I think its best for the guy to wait until he is finally convinced and tired, then move on. I know time is lost, but u learn something at the end of the day.Originally posted by geodome:I think waiting too long is dumb.
I waited for 4yr. As a result, I gave up opportunities to date other girls for 4years. I consequently endured teases for 4years because I was waiting for her. All i got in the end is nothing. Why should we guys put the girls on pedestral while underpinning ourselves at the bottom? Girls should be honoured and at the same time realise it is a bonus that someone is willing to do that.
Build your confidence. Improve your physique. In the end, it is us guys who dominate in society. No point agonising over 1 girl. The feminists might disagree with me by pointing our exceptions, but in terms of numbers, we guys dominate. If you look at the top cosmetic firm in the world (Loreal), you realise guys make up the majority throughout the corporate ladder. -
How true... I'm still waiting in my heart through my mouth keeps telling me to move onOriginally posted by hypercurry:I think for some guys, if they dont wait for a long period, they wont give up and tell themselves to move on. I think its best for the guy to wait until he is finally convinced and tired, then move on. I know time is lost, but u learn something at the end of the day.
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When those who wait with Faith no matter how long. They are persistant.
Those who doubt themselves or grew weary yet wait are foolish.
There is a difference.
MC -
MC:
Why do you preach such romantic ideal? Have you been reading too many romantic novels? Man is inherently self-seeking. No point preaching perfect love when Man himself is tainted. This is why I condemn alot of romantic novels, because none of the authors refuse to acknowledge the ugly nature of Man himself.
Such romantic ideal is like the ideal gas. It is easy to describe. Its behavior is predictable. We know everything about the ideal gas (from internal energy to kinetics), but the ideal gas don't exist. The romantic ideal, just like the ideal gas, is a concept, not a substance. -
for sure, i would wait for her passively.Originally posted by hypercurry:Do you want to wait passively, or wait actively?
she dumped me.. if i were to wait for her actively, wudnt i be some sort of an irritant mutant?
so yes, i shall just wait till i'm tired or someone new appears into my life. maybe one of you wud like to tell her that i'm still waiting.. we havent talked for near to 2mths already.. -
Hmm.. not really. Do you think if you dumped her at the first place, and u wait for her actively, does it make a difference? She'll still think you're a irritant mutant.Originally posted by sinicker:for sure, i would wait for her passively.
she dumped me.. if i were to wait for her actively, wudnt i be some sort of an irritant mutant?
so yes, i shall just wait till i'm tired or someone new appears into my life. maybe one of you wud like to tell her that i'm still waiting.. we havent talked for near to 2mths already..
The trick is not to make her feel that way. Persisting doesnt make u irritating. You just have to let her be constantly aware that you're waiting. If you 2 haven't talked for 2 months, why not surprise her and give her a phone call chat? -
you raised a few valid points. after a late night convo with a friend of mine, combined with suggestions by the forumnites here, i think i'll chat up with her one day. and that one fine day.. i wouldnt know when..Originally posted by hypercurry:Hmm.. not really. Do you think if you dumped her at the first place, and u wait for her actively, does it make a difference? She'll still think you're a irritant mutant.
The trick is not to make her feel that way. Persisting doesnt make u irritating. You just have to let her be constantly aware that you're waiting. If you 2 haven't talked for 2 months, why not surprise her and give her a phone call chat?
how do i "let her know i'm waiting"?
if she seems resistant/hesitant, do i take a step back and avoid her like now? -
I'm interested. How did you end up with this conclusion about me?Originally posted by geodome:MC:
Why do you preach such romantic ideal? Have you been reading too many romantic novels? Man is inherently self-seeking. No point preaching perfect love when Man himself is tainted. This is why I condemn alot of romantic novels, because none of the authors refuse to acknowledge the ugly nature of Man himself.
Such romantic ideal is like the ideal gas. It is easy to describe. Its behavior is predictable. We know everything about the ideal gas (from internal energy to kinetics), but the ideal gas don't exist. The romantic ideal, just like the ideal gas, is a concept, not a substance.
Cheers -
Originally posted by M©+square:I'm interested. How did you end up with this conclusion about me?
Cheers
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the longest wait is not created by the amount of time passed, but by your mind
*nudge* -
BUMP! to all those waiting for something to happen, Vday coming soon ^-^Originally posted by darkslay:the longest wait is not created by the amount of time passed, but by your mind
*nudge* -
Forget abt it. Confirm no interest. So many signs..dun waste ur time. The thing abt gals is that once they dun like u they dun like u anymore.Originally posted by Dendrite88:Hi all, new here
Just wanna post something that has been on my mind for very long time, but dont really have the guts to. ( dont really know if this topic was created before, i apologise if i did a repeat thread)
Just a general statement, is waiting a fool's game (for love).
I know that in my case, I always have been waiting for the girl to accept me. Despite waiting for ages (sec1 - sec 2 End of year ) , all i Got was a negative reply. I put in the effort and time to woo the girl, but still , i guess i dont make the cut. Although the girl said NO to me once before, i continued to woo her still , thinking i can melt her heart.
But, then i asked again after another year, but this time i just realised that she has a boyfriend, so i discontinued my "waiting game". It was devastating, i was totally crushed and felt so lost. I wandered aimlessly in msn, games and all around thinking that this shouldnt be happening.
But i got back on my feet and widened my social circle (I only have a few close friends with me back then), I got to know this girl through IRC (same school) and she is supposedly to be the smart,nice,sweet, girl next door.
Half a year later (sec 3 mid year) , I found that we have common interests and stuffs so I decided to try my luck and began the "wooing process". I admit, i pestered her aimlessly on msn and smses. I told her I would wait for her, which took another half a year , and still we kept in contact and I still waited and waited and waited. But in the end, she gave me a reason to why cannot accept me, all due to studies. I was crushed yet once more, how many times God wanna test me? I asked myself whether is it because of my looks and character?
Then now, I'm in a poly, which i wont disclose, I just recently found interest in another girl (same class) , though she hinted to me many times that I do not stand a chance, I'm still determined to woo her. tell me, is history going to repeat itself and me... am I a fool, for this waiting game? -
There is chances.
Why not you spend time improving yourself and find out how to impress ?
Btw girls like man who is the chooser and not the silly one waiting for them -
Originally posted by Xlashes:There is chances.
Why not you spend time improving yourself and find out how to impress ?
Btw girls like man who is the chooser and not the silly one waiting for them
Not totally correct. The way you 'package' your statement....hmm...need some zhnging.
Cheers~ -
Chances??
Chances r, stop believing this "you've got chance" rant by ur friends. They know nothing and in the end will irritate the gal who might avoid u in the future. U, urself know ur chances, and dun give urself false hope. Sounds harsh huh? Well, take it from someone who'd come a long way.
Improving oneself is good... very good. Let them come to u instead to u going to them, Yan can cook, y not u? They can choose, y not u?
As for the courtship, "chances" r u need to create ur own oppotunity instead of wait for the big guy upstairs to do the work for u, his too bz to mind these minor stuffs.
By the way, "practicing" isnt harmful in anyway, just a way to boost ur confidence and guts at the price of morality and somone else's truth feelings for u, if tat person does have it
Originally posted by Xlashes:There is chances.
Why not you spend time improving yourself and find out how to impress ?
Btw girls like man who is the chooser and not the silly one waiting for them -
Originally posted by Boo777:By the way, "practicing" isnt harmful in anyway, just a way to boost ur confidence and guts at the price of morality and somone else's truth feelings for u, if tat person does have it so dat not counted as harmful arh?
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M© Xiao xiao mode *onOOriginally posted by Boo777:Chances??
Chances r, stop believing this "you've got chance" rant by ur friends. They know nothing and in the end will irritate the gal who might avoid u in the future. U, urself know ur chances, and dun give urself false hope. Sounds harsh huh? Well, take it from someone who'd come a long way.
Improving oneself is good... very good. Let them come to u instead to u going to them, Yan can cook, y not u? They can choose, y not u?
As for the courtship, "chances" r u need to create ur own oppotunity instead of wait for the big guy upstairs to do the work for u, his too bz to mind these minor stuffs.
By the way, "practicing" isnt harmful in anyway, just a way to boost ur confidence and guts at the price of morality and somone else's truth feelings for u, if tat person does have it
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M© raise hand in class.
Errr Lao Shi...i don't understand some parts you teach.
If Blue highlighted is referring to Courtship, then what is the first 2 paragraph referring to?
In red highlighted 1st para, If he didn't even try, then how will he know he will irritate the girl and the girl will avoid him leh?
If he himself knows he got chance, then he will do it. If he know he got no chance then of cos won't do it...? **Scratch head....look up in the sky**
Hmm....you yrself know your chances....but yet again....those may be false hopes???
Knowing yourself got chance or not = false hopes?????? **M© blurred halfway...*
Lao shi, you learnt what ar???
To know your chances Ho sey boh
OR
You learnt not to give yourself false hope?
Cos from what my teacher teech me last tarm is chance = hope leh.
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Lao shi....no understand tis part.
In para 2 highlighted red karler hor.
You say hor, let gers come you instead of you going to themz.
*If ger come to me........OHhhh
**
Budden in blue portion, you say muz create opportunitee instead of waiting for Ti Gong(heavenly grandpa) to help out.
That means ask guys to whack tio bohz? ::Just Do It:: tio bohz?
Then why you say don't cheong...let gers cheong at you....
Alamak....**M© pulls hair...**
If practicing is good to build confidence, then wad if the girl avoid him? :shocked:
That meanz confidence = false hope???
Ah Boo777 Lao Shi...
Your red contridick-ed wif your brue karler leh...
M© hope Ah Boo777 lao shi can esprain...
Thank you!!!!
Cheers~
p.s Being a student is so fun!!!!!!!!! Twister!
Gong hei Fatt Choy! -
*turning around wearing extremely thick spectacle, and 2 front bunny teeth*Originally posted by M©+square:M© Xiao xiao mode *onO
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M© raise hand in class.
Errr Lao Shi...i don't understand some parts you teach.
If Blue highlighted is referring to Courtship, then what is the first 2 paragraph referring to?
In red highlighted 1st para, If he didn't even try, then how will he know he will irritate the girl and the girl will avoid him leh?
If he himself knows he got chance, then he will do it. If he know he got no chance then of cos won't do it...? **Scratch head....look up in the sky**
Hmm....you yrself know your chances....but yet again....those may be false hopes???
Knowing yourself got chance or not = false hopes?????? **M© blurred halfway...*
Lao shi, you learnt what ar???
To know your chances Ho sey boh
OR
You learnt not to give yourself false hope?
Cos from what my teacher teech me last tarm is chance = hope leh.
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Lao shi....no understand tis part.
In para 2 highlighted red karler hor. You say hor, let gers come you instead of you going to themz.
*If ger come to me........OHhhh **
Budden in blue portion, you say muz create opportunitee instead of waiting for Ti Gong(heavenly grandpa) to help out.
That means ask guys to whack tio bohz? ::Just Do It:: tio bohz?
Then why you say don't cheong...let gers cheong at you....
Alamak....**M© pulls hair...**
If practicing is good to build confidence, then wad if the girl avoid him? :shocked:
That meanz confidence = false hope???
Ah Boo777 Lao Shi...
Your red contridick-ed wif your brue karler leh...
M© hope Ah Boo777 lao shi can esprain...
Thank you!!!!
Cheers~
p.s Being a student is so fun!!!!!!!!! Twister!
Gong hei Fatt Choy!
Ah sooo....
1st para
chances = The "u got chance" spoken by ur friends
hopes = own mindset and confidece level
Perhaps I sounded discouraging by some pple in the first para, so I try to instill "some hope" if he manages some guts to approach some gal in the 2nd para.
2nd para
chances = oppotunity tat he can create, by, of cos, using his brain to cook up some excuse to approach her.
As for the "practicing" part, he wont have he confidence lowered by much, cos he won't be putting in his all. Itz a "practice", not serious.
Just to clear some misunderstanding, it won't harm her, if she's not serious, too. This practice is to teach him to keep his calm and cool and experience the proper way of how to communicate with gals, thru multiple slappings with trout.
In closing, one can choose to continue to wait, or one can choose to take another one, or one can choose to escape reality
Escape Reality!! I choose u!!! (applies to Boo only. Others need not apply.) -
I guess I really sux at explaining things....
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Let me do the explaining for Boo777. I think I understand what he is trying to say.
Guys who have spent some time thinking about their aspirations and ambitions in life will know what I am talking about.
Life is too short to be hung up about your lovelife. I myself have only completed 40% of what I want to acheive in life.
Mindset: “Let them come to you, they can choose why not you”
The part in red is a mentality.
To be successful in anything you do, you need to have the correct mindset.
Too many guys out there focus on meeting womenÂ’s expectations. They forgot about their own expectation and passion in life.
Getting a woman is not success. Getting a woman who is willing to accommodate your expectations and passion in life is the real success.
To achieve that,
Focus on improving yourself first and foremost as it makes you a catch.
Be willing to walk away if she cannot give you what you want.
Boo777 is talking about a weeding out process.
Once you have gotten your act together, donÂ’t settle.
Weed out those who are not willing to accommodate, keep those who can meet your expectations.
Practice
I donÂ’t think I need to elaborate on this one. Confidence and charisma comes from practice.
You can keep improving yourself but still don't know what to say when a woman approaches you unless you get some real experience.
But I have something I want to add though.
Practice with the correct mindset.
I have a friend who started torturing himself with a ”3 seconds” rule some time ago.
When he sees someone he likes in the street, he gives himself 3 seconds to decide whether he wants to approach.
I saw how the other guys were laughing at him when he was shot down and I asked him why he wanted to torture himself like that.
His reply:
“I should be the one laughing at them. I’ve spent only 3 seconds of my life making a decision, if her interest is low, I drop the idea and move on.”
“They on the other hand will spend the whole day discussing every aspect of that girl but will not know whether she is interested!
“They are wasting their time!”
His focus is on himself.
He is concerned about other aspects of his life that requires his attention.
Therefore, he uses the weeding out process.
Weed out those who has low interest in him instead of spending so much effort trying to raise their interest.
He understands right from the start, what he wants to achieve:
Getting a woman who is willing to accommodate your expectations and passion in life is the real success.
A woman who has high interest in you will naturally try to do that.
And you donÂ’t have to waste time trying to raise her interest.
Your focus will always be on your dreams and passion in life. -
No you don't, you just need more time to consolidate your thought process and then type it out clearly.Originally posted by Boo777:I guess I really sux at explaining things....
Your earlier post was unclear, i was just teasing you.
Gong Hei Fatt Choy ah.
Cheers~