Kai Bu Liao Kou(Can't open mouth)
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Originally posted by ChairmanJay:u sound like an expert. can teach me a little bit more?
I'm not an expert.
I failed very badly in love.
I only know how to give and duno how to take back.
The real experts are the ones in AA.
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You not in AA meh?Originally posted by browniebaobao:
I'm not an expert.
I failed very badly in love.
I only know how to give and duno how to take back.
The real experts are the ones in AA. 
Cheers -
your a expert in terms of knowledge on when, where to do the right things, but you just not sure how to take back only...there are a lot of people who don't even know those things... (no offence to anyone)
its good to be humble, but too humble isn't a good thing eitherOriginally posted by browniebaobao:
I'm not an expert.
I failed very badly in love.
I only know how to give and duno how to take back.
The real experts are the ones in AA. 
+1
well said...
you are at least a expert, just not professional enough only...share with us lor...will you - browniebaobao?Originally posted by M©+square:You not in AA meh?
Cheers -
dude relax ok just do your best.Originally posted by ChairmanJay:I just canÂ’t open my mouth to let her know
I really wanted to tell Cyndi I really like her very much, but i just can't do it. She has been in the same class with me for the 4th year. I never know that she is the one for me untill late 2005, during the school holidays.
Maybe it's a class gathering that made me change my views toward her. The class gathering was held at a charlet. We had our great times and memories there. After the charlet, I started msging her everyday and night. I try my best to show my care for her. We even started talking on the phone for long hours. She shared some of her problems with me. And I try my best to help her.
I started to know more about her. Then, I found myself in a love triange; she crush on another guy in the same workplace as her. however, that guy doesn't like her. I was heart-broken. I can feel that she was really depressed. I can't do anything to help as she just refused to tell me about it. After sometimes, she finally learnt to forget about that guy.
Once, she asked me to go out together with her. She said she was moody and need someone to accompany her. Although I'm kinda shy, I was over the moon and agreed without much thinking. Soon, we go out together more often and have dinner together sometimes. I really enjoyed being with her.
After school reopen, I seldom have chance to talk to her. One day, she lost her voice and was coughing badly. I bought her strepsel everyday till the day she recovered. In class I was quiet. Maybe I'm shy, or I have nothing to say to her. Then last saturday, we have lunch together. I can feel that she likes me too. I got the Chong Dong to tell her i like her too. But..those mere simple sentences, I canÂ’t say them.
Untill wednesday, I picked up my courage and I was about to tell her. Unfortunately, I found out that she crush on another guy AGAIN but she denied it. I asked her whether have she liked me before and she said she did. My whole heart hangs in the air, I can only watch from afar.
She is so important to me, I regret not letting her know.
This V day do something nice for her..
Is better for you to go forward and tell her that you love her.
Even if she reject you for the first time. Try a few more times.
I have been through this phase before and girls tell me that they want guys who have guts to admit the love for her.
If you really love her then go ahead and say it out loud.
There is nothing wrong with loving a girl.
If you are so scare then why love her? Try someone else.
A girl really needs a brave guy whom she can look up to, not a weak guy who could not even say such simple words. -
Are you someone I know?
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Haiz.. 2 years ago, I like a girl. She is friendly, kind etc.. At that time, my best frenz knew that i like her. But becox i do not have the courage to tell her i like her, my frenz took the chance and stead with that gal
Haiz.. -
So what's the issue now that you finally managed to pluck out your courage to tell her and she admit that she "did" like you before. Too late? She's attached?Originally posted by ChairmanJay:I just canÂ’t open my mouth to let her know
I really wanted to tell Cyndi I really like her very much, but i just can't do it. She has been in the same class with me for the 4th year. I never know that she is the one for me untill late 2005, during the school holidays.
Maybe it's a class gathering that made me change my views toward her. The class gathering was held at a charlet. We had our great times and memories there. After the charlet, I started msging her everyday and night. I try my best to show my care for her. We even started talking on the phone for long hours. She shared some of her problems with me. And I try my best to help her.
I started to know more about her. Then, I found myself in a love triange; she crush on another guy in the same workplace as her. however, that guy doesn't like her. I was heart-broken. I can feel that she was really depressed. I can't do anything to help as she just refused to tell me about it. After sometimes, she finally learnt to forget about that guy.
Once, she asked me to go out together with her. She said she was moody and need someone to accompany her. Although I'm kinda shy, I was over the moon and agreed without much thinking. Soon, we go out together more often and have dinner together sometimes. I really enjoyed being with her.
After school reopen, I seldom have chance to talk to her. One day, she lost her voice and was coughing badly. I bought her strepsel everyday till the day she recovered. In class I was quiet. Maybe I'm shy, or I have nothing to say to her. Then last saturday, we have lunch together. I can feel that she likes me too. I got the Chong Dong to tell her i like her too. But..those mere simple sentences, I canÂ’t say them.
Untill wednesday, I picked up my courage and I was about to tell her. Unfortunately, I found out that she crush on another guy AGAIN but she denied it. I asked her whether have she liked me before and she said she did. My whole heart hangs in the air, I can only watch from afar.
She is so important to me, I regret not letting her know.
For a change, if you have the courage to ask her if she like you BEFORE, why don't you just ask her if she still likes you NOW??
Pal, if you have problems expressing your feelings to the girl you like, you'll probably will regret it (which I think you already regret as you mentioned).
Me like my gf for 4yrs but because of guts and several more other reasons I never express my feelings for her and also scared she can't accept me but when I finally did muster up my courage and confess, the next thing I know she's my gf ler (although we just broke up but it's not due to no feelings but rather exterior reasons like pressure from families).
Go for it pal before you regret even more. Like I always tell people, you'll never know if you'll succeed or fail if you don't try. You do it, you'll have a fair chance but if you opt out then you already fail.
Ask yourself, you wanna try and fight for a chance or you simply just chicken out and opt to fail even before you try? -
Like what I have told you before, go for it before it is too late.
You might think it is complicated, but from what I heard, you just clutter your mind with too many thoughts and ideas formed from assumptions based on her actions. When you told me what she said and what you thought, I, as an outsider, could not find any links between those two.
So I think you indeed think too much. And I think you know it too. And the danger of thinking too much is that it will stop you from actually acting out. So in the end, too much thinking, until you got scared by your own thoughts, of what might have happened, when all those have never happened.
So I think the first thing you need to do is to block all these thoughts and assumptions from your mind. And just do it. Just tell her that you like her and that you want to be in a r/s with her if possible. She will tell you that she is afraid of getting hurt again, maybe she is still recovering from her pain from her previous r/s? Tell her that you will give her time.
And if she said she is afraid of losing the frenship with you if both of you happen to break up in the end, assure her that you will still be friends with her even though things didn't turn out well.
Good luck. Reach for your courage and tell her how you feel. Stop thinking of all the negative things, of things that did not happen because those will only stop you from doing the right thing. And once she has made her decision, respect it -
correction* I meant MODS of AA.Originally posted by M©+square:You not in AA meh?
Cheers
I'm MOD of HH leh. -
In love, one should know when to give, how much to give and when to let go.Originally posted by weijian:your a expert in terms of knowledge on when, where to do the right things, but you just not sure how to take back only...there are a lot of people who don't even know those things... (no offence to anyone)
its good to be humble, but too humble isn't a good thing either
My problem is I gave too much, and the guy always dun reciprocate.
My exs said these to me..
"I dun feel love."
"It is a mistake right from the beginning, we shouldn't be together. And knowing that it's a mistake, we cannot continue to make this mistake." Then why did he woo me in the first place? Said im so nice so nice, and put me high on a pedestral. Then when he wanted to break up, he said whatever he could to hurt me, and pushed me to hell, let me live or die on my own.
And one said this to my buddy..
"I duno why I love her that time, love this kinda person." I really felt very chem sim when I learned about this. It was during my father's wake that my buddy told me this. It was terrible. I nv felt his love for me before. But I still stayed by him. He was always ogling at girls, and harrassing my frens to get their numbers. That's what annoyed me because my frens came to complain to me which put me in a difficult spot. I already closed both eyes when he get close to other girls or ogle at them when we were together. what I asked for is for him to leave my frens alone. Ain't I good to him? Why can't he spare a thought for my feelings?
I feel utterly disappointed. I have never been unfaithful or done anything wrong. In fact, they were the ones who let me down. I tolerated with things that I could not, I forgive time and again. And the way they put it, it makes me feel that I deserved that kinda cold treatment and attitude from them.
Now I duno how to love again.Originally posted by weijian:
+1
well said...
you are at least a expert, just not professional enough only...share with us lor...will you - browniebaobao?
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hmm.. if im expert in love, i wun be depressed till now. -
its not maybe you're shy.. you ARE shy. if you cant open your mouth, then you have to get used to being unable to express your emotions and feelings, and not having a voice or say in anything. dont expect for anything to happen if you're not willing to try.
just because she likes someone else you're not going to voice your feelings to her?
If i were you, i'd want her to know my feelings more so that at least i can attempt to change her mind. -
Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Haiz.. 2 years ago, I like a girl. She is friendly, kind etc.. At that time, my best frenz knew that i like her. But becox i do not have the courage to tell her i like her, my frenz took the chance and stead with that gal
Haiz..
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How did you find out she got another crush? Maybe its rumour?Originally posted by ChairmanJay:I just canÂ’t open my mouth to let her know
Untill wednesday, I picked up my courage and I was about to tell her. Unfortunately, I found out that she crush on another guy AGAIN but she denied it. I asked her whether have she liked me before and she said she did. My whole heart hangs in the air, I can only watch from afar.
She is so important to me, I regret not letting her know.
Since she mentioned that she liked you before, just go all the way for it. Try and talk to her more often in classes. Pluck up your courage. I am sure even if you fail, you will know you tried your best for it.
There is no harm letting her know that she is still important to you. Prob let her think about it and who knows, the tides might be in your favor.
My philosophy is always" You nv try, you nv know. If you tried and failed, you will have no regrets. If you dont even try, you will end up in regrets"
Good luck dude -
u will soon exp it with himOriginally posted by browniebaobao:
I'm not an expert.
I failed very badly in love.
I only know how to give and duno how to take back.
The real experts are the ones in AA. -
haiz... my situation like urs lor... no courage... like 2 yrs ago rite... the gal i like like suddenly ignore me... sms/msn also no reply.. then i dun dare tok to her face to face...thus i dunno y she like suddenly ignore me...then now... we somehow like became normal frens.. like ask hmwk all this la.. ... juz veri normal stuff... unlike last time...then durin the period she ignore me rite... her close fren tell me she last time actually like me...but she scared she wil get hurt again... but i thought... like too late because the incident like 1 yr liao....up till now... i stil dun hav the courage to tell her i like her... 99% no courage and 1% afraid to she her even as a veri normal fren...
u should juz tell her how u feel.... do it face to face.... if u dun try.. u nv noe wat wil happen... -
pls have some courtesy, dun hijack ple's thread and post some lame comments.Originally posted by FBI:u will soon exp it with him -
hes lame, dun u know thatOriginally posted by browniebaobao:pls have some courtesy, dun hijack ple's thread and post some lame comments.
come AA the other day and creating havoc here -
i know, juz a idiot who has got nothing better to do mah.Originally posted by StarPuppy:hes lame, dun u know that
come AA the other day and creating havoc here -
well bro.. if u still have feelings for the girl, go all out to woo her heart back.. it is nv too late.. to the girl.. Prove to her how much u love her and what u can do for her..Originally posted by wadsad:haiz... my situation like urs lor... no courage... like 2 yrs ago rite... the gal i like like suddenly ignore me... sms/msn also no reply.. then i dun dare tok to her face to face...thus i dunno y she like suddenly ignore me...then now... we somehow like became normal frens.. like ask hmwk all this la.. ... juz veri normal stuff... unlike last time...then durin the period she ignore me rite... her close fren tell me she last time actually like me...but she scared she wil get hurt again... but i thought... like too late because the incident like 1 yr liao....up till now... i stil dun hav the courage to tell her i like her... 99% no courage and 1% afraid to she her even as a veri normal fren...
u should juz tell her how u feel.... do it face to face.... if u dun try.. u nv noe wat wil happen...
In the past.. she might be testing ur reaction when she ignore u suddenly.. .. and u probably dissapointed her greatly by having such a mild response... if u are the girl, u think u will want to be a guy like tat? undecisive?
to me.. whether my life is long or short doesnt matter.. its the quality of how u live it.. to try all the things i want to try, achieve what i want to achieve.. Even if i can achieve nothing.. i will die with no regrets knowing that i have put in my effort to try to attain all these.. ..
cheers..
binZ~ -
good luck.
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tyOriginally posted by wo_shi_wo:good luck. -
So you've got all the encouragement you need here.Originally posted by ChairmanJay:ty
Anything else stopping you?
Cheers -
jia you.
i hope you two can be together for real. -
But did she enjoy the date with you?Originally posted by ChairmanJay:Once, she asked me to go out together with her. She said she was moody and need someone to accompany her. Although I'm kinda shy, I was over the moon and agreed without much thinking. Soon, we go out together more often and have dinner together sometimes. I really enjoyed being with her.
Enjoy = A fun and memorable date. Not an auntie agony session.
You want her to associate you with happy feelings, not negative ones.
It seems like all you did so far were listening to her relationship problems (her neg. feelings) and giving her advices.
Chances are, she has already got used to that pattern. She will now only think of talking to you when she has problems because she associated you with her negative feelings.
That I think is one of the reasons why you are always a second option in her eyes.
What I would suggest:
Try not to bring her out when sheÂ’s feeling moody.
You are making your task twice as difficult because she will be preoccupied with her thoughts during the date.
Your task is to make her enjoy the date and want more. Chances are she will not enjoy herself at all.
She will end up telling you all those problems and turn the date into an auntie agony session. DonÂ’t allow that to happen.
So know when to ask her out to improve your chances.
Confessions are over-rated.
I like to have control of the situation at the beginning.
I will never verbally tell a woman I like her until much later in the relationship.
But you can still let her know where she stands through your actions.
Here's how...
When a lady friend broke up with her boyfriend and asked me outÂ…I did the following which you might find useful:
The art of listening without giving advice.
Give her eye-contact and nod your head at appropriate times when sheÂ’s talking to let her know you are paying attention and listening attentively.
Throw in some random phrases like “uh huh”, “hmm”, “I understand how that feels” etc.
DonÂ’t give her advices at all because you end up spending 1 or 2 hours discussing those crap advices that have got nothing to do with you.
So donÂ’t advice. Just be a good listener.
Your aim is to enjoy yourself during the date
Give her 10 mins max to talk about whatÂ’s bothering her. Be a good listener during that time.
Then spend the rest of the time making both of you enjoy the date.
Go for action dates! ThatÂ’s the best way to help her forget her stress and worries.
In my case, I took her to a funfair with a bad ass “Viking” so that she can scream into my ears until they bleed.
Then I took her to an arcade so that she can kick my ass in some computer game. (of course I told her I purposely let her win).
You see why I said confessions are over-rated now?
The way you talk and listen to her.
The way you look at her.
The way she can enjoy herself when sheÂ’s with you.
The way you touch her at the appropriate time.
Those are the things you should focus on.
Confessions will not raise her interest. So don't worry about whether you should confess, it is not that important.
Focus on doing the right thing and when your gut tells you the time is right, grab hold her hand.
But for nowÂ…start talking to her again.
Stop avoiding her and once you are in talking terms again, ask her out and do the right things.
Good luck. -
curiousOrange brought up an interesting point.
Get her to see that you are an interesting person to be with, and let your concern for her shows through your action. And I mean do those actions by yourself, not through your best friends or her best friends.