how to save a rushed courtship?
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Originally posted by curiousOrange:Why don't you ask yourself this question...if Blade87 is courting you...would you prefer him to:
1) Ask for your permission to hold your hand
OR
2) Hold your hand when the time is right?
/me go bang wall. -
Like u said the gal had to display high interest first before doing such things.Originally posted by curiousOrange:I don't think see girls as stupid.
That scenario was tried and tested..it depends on the delivery and involves a bit of play acting.
Gave her a cheeky smile while doing it and the result was good.
So don't worry about me.
And of course that's a lame way. I know that...and she knows it as well. In fact, everybody knows what my intention is.
BUT it works.
If the girl has high interest, she will make things easy for the guy. Especially if she enjoys herself the last few times she went out with the guy.
Use a bit of imagination...you went out this guy for a few times...he is someone who can make you laugh and enjoy yourself.
And you felt that the chemistry is there.
You are dying to know when he will make his move...then he did something like that.
The effect will be good.
Why don't you ask yourself this question...if Blade87 is courting you...would you prefer him to:
1) Ask for your permission to hold your hand
OR
2) Hold your hand when the time is right? -
Wah lau...poor bladez87.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
/me go bang wall.
You rather bang the wall than him.
That's some fantastic encouragement from you huh. -
yup, but I think bladez87 stood a chance initially. If he played his card right.Originally posted by dokono:Like u said the gal had to display high interest first before doing such things.
Girl wouldn't have went out so many times with him if she was not interested.
That was before he started folding stars and spending so much time on msn and on the phone.
But nevermind, the next relationship will be better. -
Wow u sound like u have a hand with gals. I wouldnt suggest tryin to touch the gal but rather let her touch me. I wouldnt want to turn her off if i made any wrong moves.Originally posted by curiousOrange:yup, but I think bladez87 stood a chance initially. If he played his card right.
Girl wouldn't have went out so many times with him if she was not interested.
That was before he started folding stars and spending so much time on msn and on the phone.
But nevermind, the next relationship will be better. -
ok. i farking screwed up again.
you guys know what. i seriously have a knack, talent, gift for screwing everything up.
i had the intention of playing a joke on her.
it went overboard.
she thought i was serious.
and she was angry with me. corrections IS.
another major - marks. MINUS.
ok guess what. i think i realised i have no more chance with her le.
she told me , you sounded like you were threatening me. but nevermind, xi guan jiu hao.
sian i always screw things up. -
Don't bash yourself like that.Originally posted by bladez87:majorest problem is i dont know what to do.haha
You are still young...plenty of time.
Just take it as an experience and next time you will be better prepared.
As for theories...accept what works for you. Modify them if necessary.
But always keep this mindset...actually Dokono has already mentioned in a lot of his post.
You are not seeking her approval when you are wooing her.
If you keep trying to seek approval...you appear desperate.
Focus more on yourself. -
What have you done? Why did you go and threaten her??Originally posted by bladez87:ok. i farking screwed up again.
you guys know what. i seriously have a knack, talent, gift for screwing everything up.
i had the intention of playing a joke on her.
it went overboard.
she thought i was serious.
and she was angry with me. corrections IS.
another major - marks. MINUS.
ok guess what. i think i realised i have no more chance with her le.
she told me , you sounded like you were threatening me. but nevermind, xi guan jiu hao.
sian i always screw things up. -
dun worry. this serves a good lesson for u. geting burnt now is better than getting burnt later.Originally posted by bladez87:ok. i farking screwed up again.
you guys know what. i seriously have a knack, talent, gift for screwing everything up.
i had the intention of playing a joke on her.
it went overboard.
she thought i was serious.
and she was angry with me. corrections IS.
another major - marks. MINUS.
ok guess what. i think i realised i have no more chance with her le.
she told me , you sounded like you were threatening me. but nevermind, xi guan jiu hao.
sian i always screw things up.
u mus develop a mentality that u will not beg or appear needy...then u wun appear to be weak anymore. -
Originally posted by bladez87:waa blur liao blur liao. haha.
ok here is what i have been told
1) give her time and space, stop contact for some time, even if need to contact , keep it at minimal.
2) contact with her but less.
3) keep going at her nonstop.
just at this thread, there are so many opinions so many advice, i dont even know which 1 to follow. haha.
yunhaier, my situation is ON then OFF...still can ON meh? how sia?i dont know. i complete nerd, kultz, geek at this type of stuff.
as in i dont know what to do la! blur liao. wth wth!!! info overload.
yun can you like tell me in simple terms? i havent get driver licence yet.
so now my case is OFF liao then ON? or is my case ON liao but i suddenly turn OFF?
Yun info always so chim, if i can understand it, it will be very useful.
if i cant understand it, it is no use. haha. no offence la. but this time i really dont understand. previous post i understand.
Ok dude, I try not to be chim and make my stuff easily digestible.
Logically, people would tell you to SLOW down because you took haste.
But the question is whether BRAKING (from your e.g: avoid her more, talk less, etc), when you had already accelerated beyond control, beneficial to your situation?
It doesn't.
Because you are putting a foot into your mouth with your own mistake. When you tried to put a brake on your plight by consciously having to slow things down, instead you 'kill' things.
You make whatever passion dies faster.
You don't 'keep going at her' like a maddening bull - you probably end up in limbo. Instead, you make steady progression and not regression, as most people would advise you to.
'Keep going at her' means dumping emotional value into the chase. You only need to avoid that for a moment. Emotional value refers to doing things that is of emotional values (e.g. making stars).
You continue to maintain good friendship.
You continue to communicate, behave and everything else like what you would do to other friends MINUS THE EMOTIONAL TAG.
You can't chase someone by trying to drown her with all these emotions and hoping that you could succeed. People gets TURN OFF with too much wild emotions that are randomly thrown upon. It is highly anti-seductive.
I know you are sincere, but please don't panic. It makes you seemed ambiguous and questionable.
Maintain that... until it's time to pop the question.
P.S: Don't bother about the ON/OFF thingy, it was just an analogy. Seriously, if nothing gets in, just do it your way.
You learn better through your experience.
Cheers -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:Wah lau...poor bladez87.
You rather bang the wall than him.
That's some fantastic encouragement from you huh. 
erm.... coz u asking me if he were to hold my hand mah..
i cant help laughing..
he's like a xiao di to me leh.. how to imagine? hahaha.. -
first thing to change is ur attitude and communication skills.Originally posted by bladez87:ok. i farking screwed up again.
you guys know what. i seriously have a knack, talent, gift for screwing everything up.
i had the intention of playing a joke on her.
it went overboard.
she thought i was serious.
and she was angry with me. corrections IS.
another major - marks. MINUS.
ok guess what. i think i realised i have no more chance with her le.
she told me , you sounded like you were threatening me. but nevermind, xi guan jiu hao.
sian i always screw things up.
if i were her, i would ignore u also. -
eh? what is wrong with his attitude?Originally posted by browniebaobao:first thing to change is ur attitude and communication skills.
if i were her, i would ignore u also.
All along I thought he is being too nice to her.
He folds stars leh...mai siao siao hor.
Typical nice and sincere guy. -
Haha... why do nice guys always get rejected? Is nice wrong?Originally posted by curiousOrange:eh? what is wrong with his attitude?
All along I thought he is being too nice to her.
He folds stars leh...mai siao siao hor.
Typical nice and sincere guy. -
M© laffs......
Contribute? Hai....let this boy learn.
Cheers -
i dun mean that.Originally posted by curiousOrange:eh? what is wrong with his attitude?
All along I thought he is being too nice to her.
He folds stars leh...mai siao siao hor.
Typical nice and sincere guy.
he knows wat im talking abt. -
i talk without thinking...that is my problem.
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Originally posted by dokono:Haha... why do nice guys always get rejected? Is nice wrong?
too general liao..
one wun be rejected without a reason. -
deleted double posting
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Yah...I got contribute leh. I gave him a scenario illustration.Originally posted by M©+square:Contribute? Hai....let this boy learn.
But BBB said my method can only hook up old ah mas.
Tried my best.
happy CNY btw -
haiz. i am a failure. i am a boy. dense and do not know anything. clueless. stupid. hopeless.
getting screwed by life is the purpose of my existence. haiz... -
i make glow in e dark straw stars, make paper flowers ,draw potraits stiill fail leh ....Originally posted by curiousOrange:eh? what is wrong with his attitude?
All along I thought he is being too nice to her.
He folds stars leh...mai siao siao hor.
Typical nice and sincere guy. -
usually it's becos no feelings becos hes too nice right?Originally posted by browniebaobao:
too general liao..
one wun be rejected without a reason. -
Stop blaming yourself.Originally posted by bladez87:haiz. i am a failure. i am a boy. dense and do not know anything. clueless. stupid. hopeless.
getting screwed by life is the purpose of my existence. haiz...
You didn't reply just now...what happened now?
Why she said you were threatening her? -
bbb, don't play play with that scenario....it'll work if Attraction + Timing is optimium. Swee swee one.Originally posted by curiousOrange:Yah...I got contribute leh. I gave him a scenario illustration.
But BBB said my method can only hook up old ah mas.
Tried my best.
happy CNY btw
Can let the girl fly one leh.
Cheers
Oh oh Happy Chinese New Year!!!