Friend...
-
It's never easy. but you can START off with an apology.Originally posted by OasisBlue:Not as easy as u think...if everything can be apologised...den dere will be no hate in de world...besides she just wun forgive n forget...mb they just dun heal... -
U have not read de whole topic...i have mentioned i did! I apologised to her, i cheer her up...it wun work! so i m not a f**king idiot!Originally posted by coffeeortea:have you even tried it yet? i hate fucktards who come into aunt agony, ask for help, and when good advice has been given, the thread starter even without trying types as though he/she knows what will happen and as if he/she has better opinions and ideas. if thats the case, why the fuck do they need help from others anyway. -
I have STARTED lots of apologies....she just wun talk to me...Originally posted by smudgey:It's never easy. but you can START off with an apology. -
well then give her time to cool down.Originally posted by OasisBlue:I have STARTED lots of apologies....she just wun talk to me...
it takes two to tango.
and if you are willing to apologise, and apologise over and over again.. it's up to her if she wanna forgive you..
at least u tried your best to savage this friendship -
My 2 other frenz and her are going to report me for splashing water...
-
splashin water very serious meh?
last time in high school, i saw two gals came out frm toilets n splash urine (or apple juice/cooking oil) at one other gal -
Well...maybe she feels an insult...i find it petty to do so...
-
If you've already sincerely done your apologies and she still couldn't be bother, I think there's also little you can do liao... Meanwhile, just let life runs on... Mingle with other friends... If she want to forgive you one day, she would.... Else, guess things can only stay this way...?Originally posted by OasisBlue:Well...maybe she feels an insult...i find it petty to do so... -
I... call this my gut feeling or something, but I have this feeling the friend that you offended, isn't very very angry with you, but because the 2 other friends keep "stirring up the flames", that's why they still keep boycotting you. So, I think you should wait for a while longer until it seems that she has cooled down, then approach her when she is alone, and give her a long, sincere apology, as a last try, and if she still does not relent, well, maybe you should just give up. Then after that, you should also approach the other 2 friends, preferably when they are by themselves.
Reporting people for splashing water... =_= I should have reported that boy a year ago then. Gah. And make that one more boy for spraying water in my face with his water bottle, and using the water cooler to spray me. You picked the wrong person, girl, wrong person. Let me guess, is the person who is angry at you, usually a rather quiet person? Or she is those type that usually like to hang around with a group of people...? -
Hmm...she is usually quiet but also hang out around with a grp of ppl...sometimes she hardly speaks within the grp...i guess she trying to forget about me...and de incident...Originally posted by hyperactivechatterbox:I... call this my gut feeling or something, but I have this feeling the friend that you offended, isn't very very angry with you, but because the 2 other friends keep "stirring up the flames", that's why they still keep boycotting you. So, I think you should wait for a while longer until it seems that she has cooled down, then approach her when she is alone, and give her a long, sincere apology, as a last try, and if she still does not relent, well, maybe you should just give up. Then after that, you should also approach the other 2 friends, preferably when they are by themselves.
Reporting people for splashing water... =_= I should have reported that boy a year ago then. Gah. And make that one more boy for spraying water in my face with his water bottle, and using the water cooler to spray me. You picked the wrong person, girl, wrong person. Let me guess, is the person who is angry at you, usually a rather quiet person? Or she is those type that usually like to hang around with a group of people...?
-
Most of all...ppl r siding her...i mean i m ok with them siding her cuz i m at the wrong first...but they keep asking me to stop bothering her...will dis solve de problem? Maybe we can start over as frenz again?
-
you have already done your part, relationships work both ways, even if you're willing to lay down your life for her, if she does not want to keep the friendship, its just not going to happen. i say give it one last shot, and call her out or something so you both can talk your hearts out. consider her feelings though, she might need some cool down time
-
OT on~Originally posted by alexkusu:so ur trying to hit on the topic starter? nvm, ur boring me. tata~
see la, told you to put down roots, now you become u-15 flamebait.
OT off ~ -
Ya lor...i got splashed by a boy 2 times dude...in front of de whole canteen after sch...so many ppl...and i was chasing him too lol...dats fun wad...Originally posted by alexkusu:splashin water very serious meh?
last time in high school, i saw two gals came out frm toilets n splash urine (or apple juice/cooking oil) at one other gal
-
Omg...holi is going be over...i guess my punishment is coming soon...
-
honestly man.. u've already done your best, and if some fucktard cannot take having a surprise shower, which she probably has to do at least once everyday, i say fuck her, i'd rather make friends with a street lamp
-
Originally posted by coffeeortea:
Dats in front of me, a teacher on probation(leaving de sch soon) and 2 frenz...in front of de sch gate...well she cried...and some water was poured on to bags n stuff...
honestly man.. u've already done your best, and if some fucktard cannot take having a surprise shower, which she probably has to do at least once everyday, i say fuck her, i'd rather make friends with a street lamp[/b]
...anyway...dis shower..involves no soap,towel and all those shower stuff...no doors...no dryer?? and with clothes on ...well i left soon after de incident...i dunnoe how wet was she...but sort of 3/4 full of my water bottle...she is fine actually...cept she is petty...not forgiving... 
-
In my opinion your "friend" is just way too petty, and you've also admitted that... So why exactly do you still want a friend like that?
I think you'll save yourself a lot of time, effort and pain if you just look for new friends.
In fact... Don't look for new friends at all. It'll just happen naturally, in time, won't it? You'll just start talking to someone, share similar interests, talk some more... And there you have it, a friend. It can't be that hard, right?
And to sort of contradict myself.... Well, if you really don't want to give up, then don't.
I never gave up on trying to revive a particular friendship (which was almost completely destroyed because my friend somehow found my private blog where I'd written about my more-than-platonic feelings for her) because I didn't want to lose it... and probably because I just can't give up la huh.
After about nearly a year of her avoiding me and not replying to the dozens (maybe hundreds) of SMSes I sent her, she somehow forgave and forgot, and we went back to being good friends, perhaps better ones than before.
So I guess it's really up to you as to whether you think her friendship will be worth all the effort you put in... But seeing that you've already put in a lot of effort, I'm not sure... Try giving you and your friend a break. I hope you gave her and yourself a break during the school holidays!
No matter what decision you make, good luck to you (: -
Originally posted by Erise:
Yup...ppl has said dat i should give up on dis friend...but to me...like u...i dun wish to give up...luckily...she did not find out my blog as well...with all my feelings bout her...erm wads platonic btw? (i checked de dict...not really sure still...)so erm i wrote dis blog...and ppl ended up mistaking me as a homo...cuz those feelings i wrote...to them...it seems more den just a fren...but no way i will be...dats impossible...just dat i take her very importantly...cuz frenz are those dat i loved most other then family...
In my opinion your "friend" is just way too petty, and you've also admitted that... So why exactly do you still want a friend like that?
I think you'll save yourself a lot of time, effort and pain if you just look for new friends.
In fact... Don't look for new friends at all. It'll just happen naturally, in time, won't it? You'll just start talking to someone, share similar interests, talk some more... And there you have it, a friend. It can't be that hard, right?
And to sort of contradict myself.... Well, if you really don't want to give up, then don't.
I never gave up on trying to revive a particular friendship (which was almost completely destroyed because my friend somehow found my private blog where I'd written about my more-than-platonic feelings for her) because I didn't want to lose it... and probably because I just can't give up la huh.
After about nearly a year of her avoiding me and not replying to the dozens (maybe hundreds) of SMSes I sent her, she somehow forgave and forgot, and we went back to being good friends, perhaps better ones than before.
So I guess it's really up to you as to whether you think her friendship will be worth all the effort you put in... But seeing that you've already put in a lot of effort, I'm not sure... Try giving you and your friend a break. I hope you gave her and yourself a break during the school holidays!
No matter what decision you make, good luck to you (:
to me, dis frenship is definitely worth...my fren is not an expressive person...so erm its kinda worse dat she hate me now...cuz she dun express her feelings...and i dunoe how she feels...sad? hurt? angry? so she is a difficult one...well do ur fren has frenz who discourage u? if not...u r lucky...she has frenz who actually discourage me...they think i should stop interacting with her forever...cuz they think i hurt her...and she feels dat i m harming her...but actually... being splashed VS being hate by a gd pal...which hurts more... she is trying to forget me btw...how m i going to salvage...
i m now at de point of transfering sch...cuz i feel VERY VERY VERY unhappy dere...i noe i can be with my other frenz...but i still feel unhappy at de fact dat i was hated...by a gd pal...she has completely ignored me...dump my things away...everything...anything related to me will disappear...from her mind...its been 2 wks since we interact...i have de spirit of determination...but lack of de encouragement... do u noe dat i m so desperate to salvage dis frenship dat my mom has helped to pray to de gods...and i did so too... 
-
Well... more than platonic meaning I liked her more than a friend? Until now I still don't know if she's just a very very special friend or anything more than that, but anyway...Originally posted by OasisBlue:Yup...ppl has said dat i should give up on dis friend...but to me...like u...i dun wish to give up...luckily...she did not find out my blog as well...with all my feelings bout her...erm wads platonic btw? (i checked de dict...not really sure still...)so erm i wrote dis blog...and ppl ended up mistaking me as a homo...cuz those feelings i wrote...to them...it seems more den just a fren...but no way i will be...dats impossible...just dat i take her very importantly...cuz frenz are those dat i loved most other then family...
to me, dis frenship is definitely worth...my fren is not an expressive person...so erm its kinda worse dat she hate me now...cuz she dun express her feelings...and i dunoe how she feels...sad? hurt? angry? so she is a difficult one...well do ur fren has frenz who discourage u? if not...u r lucky...she has frenz who actually discourage me...they think i should stop interacting with her forever...cuz they think i hurt her...and she feels dat i m harming her...but actually... being splashed VS being hate by a gd pal...which hurts more... she is trying to forget me btw...how m i going to salvage...
i m now at de point of transfering sch...cuz i feel VERY VERY VERY unhappy dere...i noe i can be with my other frenz...but i still feel unhappy at de fact dat i was hated...by a gd pal...she has completely ignored me...dump my things away...everything...anything related to me will disappear...from her mind...its been 2 wks since we interact...i have de spirit of determination...but lack of de encouragement... do u noe dat i m so desperate to salvage dis frenship dat my mom has helped to pray to de gods...and i did so too...
I don't know if you've already done it before, but try writing her a letter? I think you need to communicate to her the idea that you really cherished the friendship and want the both of you to be friends again. Tell her to try and think independently of what her other friends are saying about you, and remind her about the times when you were good friends? I mean, she must have liked you as a friend for some reason so just try and remind her of that?
But I don't get why she would hate you? Maybe its her friends fanning the flames and all, but still? Hate is a bit too extreme and wanting to forget you like throwing all your stuff away is a bit too much too, in my opinion...
Maybe you should just let her cool down first, really. And to be honest? Two weeks without interaction is actually quite a short time... I went through months of not communicating with my friend, except for "official" or school matters like having to hand in work or whatever because she was the history rep. Otherwise she practically ran away whenever I was around, and we never talked to each other at all, even when we were talking to our other friends in the same group. My class was small so basically everyone just talks to everyone.
I guess it's a lot harder for your case cos of those two "friends" of her adding fuel to the flames but there's really nothing much you can do if you really want to save the friendship. You just have to grit your teeth and keep trying no matter what.
And oh, if you're blogging about all this... Stop. Really. She might be reading the blog and thinking things like "Why is she so hung up over this?" so if you really need to, write it down in a journal. Don't publish it on the internet AT ALL. I learnt that the hard way.
And what I did was to act normal, actually. I didn't ask her to forgive me or anything (also because I wasn't sure as to why she was ignoring me... I didn't know or realise until a few months later) but just acted like nothing was happening. You might want to try to be as normal as you can. Hang out with your other friends to show that you CAN live without her, it's just that you really want the friendship back. I know it'll be hard because it feels like you can't go on with life properly around her, but just keep with it.
And lastly, if it really is too painful, just forget about it. You'll definitely make a lot more new friends in life. You're still young and have many places and years to go. Don't deprive yourself of other friends just because of this one friendship, as much as you really cherish and want it. -
Well saidOriginally posted by Erise:Well... more than platonic meaning I liked her more than a friend? Until now I still don't know if she's just a very very special friend or anything more than that, but anyway...
I don't know if you've already done it before, but try writing her a letter? I think you need to communicate to her the idea that you really cherished the friendship and want the both of you to be friends again. Tell her to try and think independently of what her other friends are saying about you, and remind her about the times when you were good friends? I mean, she must have liked you as a friend for some reason so just try and remind her of that?
But I don't get why she would hate you? Maybe its her friends fanning the flames and all, but still? Hate is a bit too extreme and wanting to forget you like throwing all your stuff away is a bit too much too, in my opinion...
Maybe you should just let her cool down first, really. And to be honest? Two weeks without interaction is actually quite a short time... I went through months of not communicating with my friend, except for "official" or school matters like having to hand in work or whatever because she was the history rep. Otherwise she practically ran away whenever I was around, and we never talked to each other at all, even when we were talking to our other friends in the same group. My class was small so basically everyone just talks to everyone.
I guess it's a lot harder for your case cos of those two "friends" of her adding fuel to the flames but there's really nothing much you can do if you really want to save the friendship. You just have to grit your teeth and keep trying no matter what.
And oh, if you're blogging about all this... Stop. Really. She might be reading the blog and thinking things like "Why is she so hung up over this?" so if you really need to, write it down in a journal. Don't publish it on the internet AT ALL. I learnt that the hard way.
And what I did was to act normal, actually. I didn't ask her to forgive me or anything (also because I wasn't sure as to why she was ignoring me... I didn't know or realise until a few months later) but just acted like nothing was happening. You might want to try to be as normal as you can. Hang out with your other friends to show that you CAN live without her, it's just that you really want the friendship back. I know it'll be hard because it feels like you can't go on with life properly around her, but just keep with it.
And lastly, if it really is too painful, just forget about it. You'll definitely make a lot more new friends in life. You're still young and have many places and years to go. Don't deprive yourself of other friends just because of this one friendship, as much as you really cherish and want it. i like ur comments...so erm...writing letters...i have tried...emails as well too...wun help cuz she will just del it...so wad do u mean by wad other frenz r saying bout me...those negative comments? i will try but she listens to them more den me...well...cant blame her...she noe them longer den me...cept 2 but they are more closer den me now...since they often meet up for netball and such stuff... gd memories? well dat i cant mention...b4 she hates me...our frenship turns bit sour...and she mentioned dat she rather not have de gd memories den having problems with me...she dun wish to face de obstacles...
To her...maybe splashing water is an insult, not respecting her and of cuz some sort of harming her...harming her is very ridiculous to me though...all my other frenz said its weird of her...but who noes...we only noe each other for like 1 yr and to be exact should be only 6-7months...diff perspective but we became real gd within this period... i dun think her frenz are fanning de flame...however they r stopping me from getting near her...
Well i will try to give her more time...but i cant wait...cuz i will be transfering sch if i m still unhappy...i dun have other frenz cept a few whom i m not very close with and the boys...i have another grp of frenz but lately they are sort of cold to me...this yr is a bad yr...all my other frenz(not in my sch) are surprised dat i do not have frenz...cuz i m someone who likes to have fun with ppl...making frenz etc...so its like totally not me...and...i cant make more new frenz...too depress...anyway i hope she forgives me by dis year...next yr streaming...sec 3...i dunnoe if i can interact with her if we r in a diff class...dats even harder to try to seek for her forgiveness...
Hmmm...now its not 2 but 7...ok one of my close frenz talks to me already (so its 7 or else it will be 8...wait...going to be 8 soon...if dat another fren of mine "recruits" my another fren...confusing?) so we r now not so close as b4...she just tell me to confront them...but i tried...dun work...they dun even listen to me...they stare at me with annoying faces and scary eyes...as if they r gonna kill me...with all kinds of method =X...
btw, we r choosing grps for our music project today...max is 5 ppl... i was so scared dat i would be joining their grp dat my one of my hands was trembling...others(except their grp) saw it and asked me why...dats embarrassing but at dat time i was very scared...they are so scary...sort of ganging up on me... i take frenship importantly just like my life...so when i have lost frenz cuz of my fault or mistakes...and maybe resulting them to hate me...i will be very depress and timid to face them...but on the other hand, i will wish for their forgiveness...
so erm de 7...they did not add fuel to de fire...they just stop me...and are against me....mistaken dat i m an ultra bad person, trying to harm her...they watched too much tv...
I can live without her...but with her around me...i cant stop thinking of us being gd pals b4...urging me to seek for her forgiveness immediately...sigh...quite painful...but i m stuck...i dun wish to give up but i m too tired to continue...sigh ... -
Wow... It's really complicated eh.
Since I don't really know the whole situation I can't really help you, as much as I want to.
I know it's a very trying time, but I seriously don't think you should go to the extent of transferring schools... I advise that you just try to not think too much about this whole situation first, and enjoy the company of your other friends? Since you're going to be streamed soon, you'll make new friends, hopefully with a clean slate, meaning no "history" for your new friends to judge you with?
Don't think too much about it... New friends will always come along in life. And please don't let it affect your studies... I don't think any one person is ever important enough to affect your future!
You're still young, don't brood over this. Move on and live life happily! You have lots of other friends, keep up your other friendships and don't lose them over a friendship that may already be gone, okay?
Please do take good care of yourself, and remember that you have lots of other people who DO love and care for you! -
I can no longer stay in dis unhappy sch...my fren has actually told my male fren who is trying to help me dat i m nuts...she din say but she point at her head...dats an insult...i m terribly hurt...
-
As much as i want to make more frenz and stop thinking bout her, i cant stop myself from being hurt...she is de one who hurt me most... i wun forget...it has leave a scar in m heart...ok i treat her... like u...more den platonic...so erm i m very very very hurt to lose dis fren...anyway how can she insult me lidat...she also no better...so hairy...everyone call her gorilla...i noe it...i cant have best frenz or true frenz...they will laff at me...make fun of me...i hate myself...Originally posted by Erise:Wow... It's really complicated eh.
Since I don't really know the whole situation I can't really help you, as much as I want to.
I know it's a very trying time, but I seriously don't think you should go to the extent of transferring schools... I advise that you just try to not think too much about this whole situation first, and enjoy the company of your other friends? Since you're going to be streamed soon, you'll make new friends, hopefully with a clean slate, meaning no "history" for your new friends to judge you with?
Don't think too much about it... New friends will always come along in life. And please don't let it affect your studies... I don't think any one person is ever important enough to affect your future!
You're still young, don't brood over this. Move on and live life happily! You have lots of other friends, keep up your other friendships and don't lose them over a friendship that may already be gone, okay?
Please do take good care of yourself, and remember that you have lots of other people who DO love and care for you! -
Oya forgot one thing...she had actually laff at me when i said i dun wish to waste my water...dis is also one of de reasons i splash on her...now she call me nuts as if she has no fault....
