How would u noe if u're ready to settle down?
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oh. ok ok. his fault.Originally posted by browniebaobao:should ask the guy why he so no brain wan.
they were only around 18 years old. -
actually I duno them la.. he's my buddy's fren.Originally posted by Manager433:oh. ok ok. his fault.
I was told that he became a totally changed person after that.
He accompanied her to have the abortion.. it was very painful for him coz he blamed himself for creating this new life and then killed it. -
aiyo age 18 never say make me think that girl abit..........Originally posted by browniebaobao:actually I duno them la.. he's my buddy's fren.
I was told that he became a totally changed person after that.
He accompanied her to have the abortion.. it was very painful for him coz he blamed himself for creating this new life and then killed it.
hopefully he became mroe mature bah -
one of my fren(not very close to me, but close to one of my buddy) got married when he was 19, bcos he got his gf pregnant, both side parents knew about it and agree to let them get married, give them finanical support, the guy need to go NS, and the girl need to finish her studies, the guy's parents take care of the kid. Couple live with guy's parents until they both come out to work and earn enuff to buy their own house.Originally posted by browniebaobao:actually I duno them la.. he's my buddy's fren.
I was told that he became a totally changed person after that.
He accompanied her to have the abortion.. it was very painful for him coz he blamed himself for creating this new life and then killed it.
My buddy, knew him for about almost 15 yrs(since lower sec), he's 27now, just got married bcos he got her gf pregnant. His father take care of expenses needed to wedding, they live with his parents also.
When it comes to such case, if your parents is more to the old fasihioned type, they sure force you to get marry(and help you too), cos the guy's parents will not let their son do bear the bad name of being irresponsible, make girls pregnant and dun marry her. And for the gal's parents, will think that it's a big big shame that their daughter got pregnant but no one want to be responsible for it.
For the parents of ppl at my age, most of them are the old fashioned type, it's hard for them to accept abortion or single mom. So once they know their son/daughter got "shotgun", they will force them to marry. -
Force to married but does they really love each other? Love and sex different thing.
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x2.Originally posted by Manager433:Force to married but does they really love each other? Love and sex different thing.
Mian qiang shi bu hui you xing fu de.
Married because of love or responsibility? or under pressure? -
I think resale is better than new flatOriginally posted by browniebaobao:resale ba..
new flats might have hantu also..
esp sg so small.. u wun know whether ur new flat area was a cemetery before..
but who don't want new things rite..
think got pros and cons lah...
shinta r u getting a flat after your ROM?
where u all planning to get? -
but the cost is definitely higher lor..Originally posted by BufPuf:I think resale is better than new flat
but who don't want new things rite..
think got pros and cons lah...
shinta r u getting a flat after your ROM?
where u all planning to get?
renovation cost etc..
at least if resale.. if lucky get a flat that is quite well furnished, then can save a bit. -
Try to choose a estate whereby u can get a chance to vote every 4-5yrs.
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When you have common main goal(s) in life or when your main goal(s) do not conflict with each other...Originally posted by shinta:as above.
And you know each other quite really well... Can use and enjoy each other's company on a long run (life time?), can tolerate or live with each other's faults even when they're amplified a 100 x..... -
That's easy.
You will realise you have found the right one when you can talk basically about anything, ranging from flat buying to family planning, without inducing violence and contempt. Both of you are able to meet eye-to-eye in terms of expectation, values and belief.
Most importantly, your love is unconditional towards your other half. Of course, without contempt. Simply just that.
On getting new or resale flat, if you are into feng shui, better get brand new flat that are built after 2004. Otherwise, remedial actions are needed for flat built prior to that. Anyway, you can ignore what I said if you are not. -
did nellie reveal a hint?Originally posted by shinta:as above. 
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Originally posted by hisoka:when you think the guy is rich enuff that when you divorce can get lots of money out of him and you find him bearable for a few years
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gettin resale... cos.. the place is generally much bigger than the new ones..Originally posted by BufPuf:no right time bah...when u feel that u are ready to commit..and financially stable...the topic of wedding would appear...then you will start discussing where to buy flat, who to contribute to what to the family..
btw...
would u guys buy resale or new flat?
I still prefer a new flat but it seems like the locatinos are not vry convenient to us...he kinda convince me that resale is better and i do agree that there are more advantages...can make use of the grant...save on renovation..10% downpayment...
but you never know what the previous owner did or kept..skali got 'hantu' how
still thinking.. -
To all:
thank you very much for ur posts and opinions
u have helped alot...
i was actually afraid of making the wrong decision..
i'm very sure i wanna marry him... but its the timing.. these days i've haven been thinking straight..
haiz
anyway.. the problem's all over -
When we bought the flat together
We got a resale flat too. Bought it more on location and layout of the house then the decor. I wouldn't say that we saved on renovations since we spent a pretty penny on it.
Plus I hated the decor of the house. The fun part about buying resale houses is that you get to see other people's home and trust me some are real horrors in decorating the place
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Sorry I took so long to come in again : )
Ok, how I know. Basically I know when I can't imagine life without my partner. I can basically watch him dig his nose, scratch his groin or dig his ear without thinking he's really disgusting.
We can basically never have a guaranteed relationship that lasts forever. But we sure as hell can try : )
Erm, as for the kids issue. Maybe later. Right now, I don't think I can tahan a screaming bundle of fairy floss in my arms
Furthermore, my figure zou yang 
FeowFeowOriginally posted by shinta:let's have some discussions over this.
how would u noe u're ready to settle down, have a place of ur own and maybe a few jnrs along the way? -
one day i'd say lets get married later..
one day i'd say lets get married earlier..
one day i'd say let's think some more about this before we get married.
marriage is supposed to be between me n him... dunno since when a 3rd person came into the picture..
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What 3rd personOriginally posted by shinta:one day i'd say lets get married later..
one day i'd say lets get married earlier..
one day i'd say let's think some more about this before we get married.
marriage is supposed to be between me n him... dunno since when a 3rd person came into the picture.. 
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not mi not miOriginally posted by elindra:What 3rd person -
Shinta,
Nobody can fault you for being indecisive, you're still a very young girl. And yes, I agree with you, marriage is between 2 people, but many feel that it's their right to give you their 2 cents' worth whether you want it or Not. Worst of all, they feel that they're being very kind in doing so.
I'm assuming that the 3rd party isn't another lover coming in between you & Nelly, since both of you are in love. I'm assuming the 3rd party is a family member/relative who's very irritating. Unfortunately, this is SG, my girl *rubs rubs Shinta's head*
Nevermind, you should discuss this with Nelly, & make a decision between both of you. Stick by that. Ultimately, it's YOUR wedding. Your parents/his parents/relatives have already had their weddings. It's now YOUR TURN.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by shinta:one day i'd say lets get married later..
one day i'd say lets get married earlier..
one day i'd say let's think some more about this before we get married.
marriage is supposed to be between me n him... dunno since when a 3rd person came into the picture.. -
don't marry the one u can live with for the rest of your life.Originally posted by babymac13:1) The feelings for her is strong enough to make you think she is the one that can live with you for the rest of your life.
marry the one u can't live without.
that aside, u'v got to be sure that both of you are ready. not juz u yourself are ready to settle down.
actually it'll be kinda sad to know that you ready, but he/she is not.. then even if u'r ready to settle down, also no point.
5 cents -
when i am rich enoughOriginally posted by shinta:as above. -
Dear shinta,Originally posted by shinta:one day i'd say lets get married later..
one day i'd say lets get married earlier..
one day i'd say let's think some more about this before we get married.
marriage is supposed to be between me n him... dunno since when a 3rd person came into the picture..
it is not wrong for you to be indecisive.. after all u are a girl.. and a girl need security, love and loads more~ Not to mention girls are normally more emotional based and do make decisions based on that..
i suggest looking into this 3 things before making a decision.
1. Finance.
It is best not to rely too much on loans or credit cards. ie:housing loans, renovation loans, car loans etc..
Too much liability will cause a strain to your pockets and start a number of little squabbles, which will probably strain the relationship.
And of cos.. an expensive wedding on loans, normally ends up in an expensive divorce too.. MONEY is always an issue.. like it or not.. People do fight, argue over money..
2. Age.
I wont say u are young.. but spending 40 - 60 yrs is not going to be easy. There are a numbe rof stuff that can be very unpredictable..
I suggest that u might want to hold it back for a year or 2.. First.. to save some money... second, for u to meet and see more people.. third, to enjoy the little little things singlehood can offer u for a while more.. Until u reach 25 or so? By then u should be ready mentally and financially to settle down..
There are many people who regretted marrying too young..
3. Changes.
Try not to have too many major changes in ur life within a short period of time/ same time..
ie: Get married, buy a car, buy a flat, change ur job, fighting for a promotion.
can be very stressful. Let it come gradually~ then things will slowly fall in place~ And u have time to react~
Its an one sided opinon of me! My suggestion is that listen to everyone and all you can.. No harm doing that... But take in what u think can be useful to you and dump those opinons u feel it is not useful..
cheers~ -
Hmm...Originally posted by FeowFeow:Shinta,
Nobody can fault you for being indecisive, you're still a very young girl. And yes, I agree with you, marriage is between 2 people, but many feel that it's their right to give you their 2 cents' worth whether you want it or Not. Worst of all, they feel that they're being very kind in doing so.
I'm assuming that the 3rd party isn't another lover coming in between you & Nelly, since both of you are in love. I'm assuming the 3rd party is a family member/relative who's very irritating. Unfortunately, this is SG, my girl *rubs rubs Shinta's head*
Nevermind, you should discuss this with Nelly, & make a decision between both of you. Stick by that. Ultimately, it's YOUR wedding. Your parents/his parents/relatives have already had their weddings. It's now YOUR TURN.
FeowFeow