why I feel sad and empty after promotion?
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i saw a docu on these last month...Originally posted by 798:i heard it is expensive n i wonder where to keep tis if family members are under the same roof.
these hardcore collectors are mostly single...
they actually dolled them up...
bring them for holidays and outdoors photoshoots...
some owners use them to satsfy their lust too...
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i saw a comic dat some blow-up doll actually save its owner from getting drown when flood occurred.Originally posted by GHoST_18:i saw a docu on these last month...
these hardcore collectors are mostly single...
they actually dolled them up...
bring them for holidays and outdoors photoshoots...
some owners use them to satsfy their lust too... 
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i just have a fee break recently, but wont help as work just wont stop coming.. they come by email or calls... if not when u go back they will be all there waiting for mi...Originally posted by R3SsH|n:u just need break...burn out...
maybe......Originally posted by BrUtUs:tink ur problem is u lack love... u fling too much liao la... like u said, time to settle down... now work dont matter to u liao cos ur heart is empty... so go hunt down the gal for life now... Originally posted by ditzy:Because you only got your promotion after 30 years on the job. 
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u mean something like this...Originally posted by 798:i saw a comic dat some blow-up doll actually save its owner from getting drown when flood occurred. 
btw this is sex doll rafting... -
[Originally posted by mochou:i rather not to give comments on you, but i will ask you questions, which i hope will lead to the answers you looking for.
Before this promotion takes place, did you hope for it? Do you really want a promotion/pay increase?Is this what you hoped for?
abit abit lah, need to upgrade to the next level already, current job too simple already... no challenge
if you really wished for a promotion, is this end up what you expected? like you mentioned "10% plus only", did you expect more? And how responsibility increase? is it balnaced with your pay increase? Maybe the pay increase is very little when the job increase is a lot?
pay increase by 10% but work responsibility doubled.. but it's already quite high already for SG standard.... but here not very high just ok ok
Or maybe you want more power and authority in the company, rather than pay increase, but after the promotion, you are still the same in terms of what you can do in the company? mabye you still cant boss people around yet? dun need that i am already bossing ppl around previously.. and not bossing actually.. ppl are seeking for my advice so i just help lor.. they want my bossing..i will be happy to leave them alone
In the first place, do you like your job? if you dont like your job, or you dont like your colleague, dont like your job environment, etc. You wont be very happy no matter what you achieve in job which you dont like in the first place.
like very challenge but also very xiong... tiring.
You said you have "1 lover, 1 sex partner and 1 dunno how to define one", maybe it's time for you to find someone to get married? That way you will find more meaning in life, feel that you work to support a family, work for someone who's important to you(your wife and kids), not for yourself only, not giving your hard earned money to some women that wont be with you forever. But this is really up to you, perhaps you really dont want to get married yet.
cannot help it that one is married and the other got bf and getting married soon too, i wont mind marrying them one..seen like all the good gal are taken already..... i dun mind to settle down... but do i really have to go SDU? sighz
Do you have real friends to share feelings with? maybe most people around you, like those colleague who arrange party for you, can you share real feelings with them? or are they just ppl that you need to social with for the sake that they work with you? In my case, if i have achieved something big, throwing a big party wont make me happier than asking few real good frens out and share the good new with them.
not much fren here now...that's one thing I have to give up when i took up this job.
Hope you bother to read such long a post, and hope it helps too.
thanks. -
agreed with the first part... but dun really understand ur part on fear....Originally posted by Yunhaier:I think that is the problem.
You are empty because your relationship is as empty as void.
Having three partners doesn't equate to fulfillment. In fact, it blatantly revealed how vulnerable your emotions are to insecurity and the fear of Love/commitment. People who fear Love often attempt to gather more partners so as just 'reassure' themselves and acts as a contingency plan in case one partner 'fails' him. They do not have to face the situation of a complete lost and could actually carry on and cling their unhealthy love mindset onto the other remaining few.
All these relationship you have created are as unstable as MLM. The minute this grand 'edifice' collapse, you see how weak the structure of this model is. And an unconscious truth is that: you are constantly recreating your feared scenario - the fear and lack of faith towards love commitment:
Fear commitment - create unstable model that it wouldn't last - realise it is unstable - create MORE of such unstable models - gradually some fails - recreate more - generate greater fear of commitment - repeat cycle with greater intensity.
If you call that fulfilling, then you are likely to deceive yourself through strong delusional reinforcing.
You have already expressed your greatest fear here and the novelty of flings is dying for you.
I think it's time for you to mature emotionally.
Cheers -
no problem for mi on that....so got a website in english.. where to buy?Originally posted by 798:i heard it is expensive n i wonder where to keep tis if family members are under the same roof.
ya lor.. no one help mi to spend my money..then earn so much for what?Originally posted by 798:u need some love commitment. i believe there will be some emptiness in ur heart when u reach this stage n achieve everything.
good luck! 
i dun mind.. but alot are link with church ... dun have by individual one leh.. i dun mind walking in to a sch and tell them i can help lor..Originally posted by DriftingGuy:Time for more meaningful stuff like contribute to society by help the unfortunate.. and not just strategizing on how to get your next fling
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wah this doll so ugly...ang moh are really very outdated in sex toy compare to jap now..Originally posted by GHoST_18:u mean something like this...
btw this is sex doll rafting... -
i dun really wanna stick salt in yr wound but i think that really answers your own question.Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):got 1 lover, 1 sex partner and 1 dunno how to define one....still not enough meh? what i am short of now?? sighz....why i am unhappy?
a guy can only be a typical male jerk for so long? -
Originally posted by HENG@:i dun really wanna stick salt in yr wound but i think that really answers your own question.
a guy can only be a typical male jerk for so long?
i know i'm a sinner -
its not that u're a sinner. but maybe yr mind is asking, can't u be nice to girls without u know, thinking of yourself(and the sex u'll get) as your motivation?Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):
i know i'm a sinner -
huh??? since when i dun?? i very nice to gal gal one.. especially young cute xiao mei mei.... without sex as motivation ok.. they are just so cute and innocent.. so real.... not like all the auntie i'm seeing now... all so fake...Originally posted by HENG@:its not that u're a sinner. but maybe yr mind is asking, can't u be nice to girls without u know, thinking of yourself(and the sex u'll get) as your motivation? -
er... well making yourself sound like a total paedophile now isn't gonna helpOriginally posted by I-like-flings(m):huh??? since when i dun?? i very nice to gal gal one.. especially young cute xiao mei mei.... without sex as motivation ok.. they are just so cute and innocent.. so real.... not like all the auntie i'm seeing now... all so fake... -
Originally posted by HENG@:er... well making yourself sound like a total paedophile now isn't gonna help mi not ok.. just dun like auntie..
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hor u auntie discrimination. boooooooooooooooo!!!Originally posted by I-like-flings(m): mi not ok.. just dun like auntie.. -
u bad bad to mi but i still nice to u ok go see u will like it..Originally posted by HENG@:hor u auntie discrimination. boooooooooooooooo!!!
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=188152 -
Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):agreed with the first part... but dun really understand ur part on fear.... Commitment is a trust thing. Either you have or you don't. And because it is a trust thing, when you have a failed relationship, chances are, you lose much of this trust and thus get hurt as a result.
So when you fear commitment, you are automatically unable to be emotional intimate with another because it forces you to put trust onto them and the relationship. Therefore, your fear of commitment causes you to equip yourself with several partners/flings so that even if one relationship fails, you still have the rest of your flings/relationship to serve as a back up contingency plan. It will appear like you wouldn't lose everything and still 'retain' a portion of your 'capital'.
And interestingly, because of this model you are pursuing, you will realise that all these fling/relationship are dying/failing because you simply cannot sustain a fulfilling relationship structure using such doomed model. Then every time when your fling/relationship fails, it triggered your fear of commitment again and reinforced whatever negative mindset you had in Love.
It intensify the negatively and you end up trying to secure more flings/relationships to protect yourself from the 'loses'. And the whole fringing` cycle continues over and over until it imploded from within.
Cheers -
huh?? bo lah.. my case is not i dun dare to trust... it's no one wan mi lah..my flings is for the physically needs lah..i dun mind to have a perm one.. but just no gal wan to marry mi now lorOriginally posted by Yunhaier: Commitment is a trust thing. Either you have or you don't. And because it is a trust thing, when you have a failed relationship, chances are, you lose much of this trust and thus get hurt as a result.
So when you fear commitment, you are automatically unable to be emotional intimate with another because it forces you to put trust onto them and the relationship. Therefore, your fear of commitment causes you to equip yourself with several partners/flings so that even if one relationship fails, you still have the rest of your flings/relationship to serve as a back up contingency plan. It will appear like you wouldn't lose everything and still 'retain' a portion of your 'capital'.
And interestingly, because of this model you are pursuing, you will realise that all these fling/relationship are dying/failing because you simply cannot sustain a fulfilling relationship structure using such doomed model. Then every time when your fling/relationship fails, it triggered your fear of commitment again and reinforced whatever negative mindset you had in Love.
It intensify the negatively and you end up trying to secure more flings/relationships to protect yourself from the 'loses'. And the whole fringing` cycle continues over and over until it imploded from within.
Cheers -
lol that face of "her" looks like some retro japanese cartoon charater.Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):wah this doll so ugly...ang moh are really very outdated in sex toy compare to jap now..
And what's this guy really doing? he's holding a can of beer. -
u have not seen those made from realdoll.com, more real n perfect den human.Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):wah this doll so ugly...ang moh are really very outdated in sex toy compare to jap now..
there is a post in ntu paper regarding view on japanese producing sex astdroid. the writer feel if tis happened, human will lose his exist. -
gals are like fire... really fun to play with, but really hurt u too...Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):huh?? bo lah.. my case is not i dun dare to trust... it's no one wan mi lah..my flings is for the physically needs lah..i dun mind to have a perm one.. but just no gal wan to marry mi now lor -
then how much is those realdoll one?? where can get it??? hahha..can use it alone or act threesome with my lover what. hahahahahahahhahOriginally posted by 798:u have not seen those made from realdoll.com, more real n perfect den human.
there is a post in ntu paper regarding view on japanese producing sex astdroid. the writer feel if tis happened, human will lose his exist. -
Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):huh?? bo lah.. my case is not i dun dare to trust... it's no one wan mi lah..my flings is for the physically needs lah..i dun mind to have a perm one.. but just no gal wan to marry mi now lor No one wants you?
I think it's a psychological stand which you have constantly inbuilt into your system that cause your mind to delude the fact that it is NOT that nobody wants you, rather you don't allow the condition for people to have a fulfilling relationship with yourself and making yourself a GOOD condition for people to have a fulfilling relationship with you.
And because you kept feeding yourself with this ideology, it 'appear' like everything wasn't part of the cause-and-effect plan, but in fact, it is.
I encounter many cases like yours; people who tell themselves who are doomed to be alone/unmarriagable, when in fact, they are attractive people with personality that could draw. One good example is my Pisces best friend: she has a HORDE of suitor craving for her affection and she could tell me like what you did: nobody-wants-me sort of reply.
And interestingly, the guys she chose are people who are:
I) Jerks
II) Unavailable (Married/attached/etc)
III) Practice certain form of abuse/neglect.
What kind of result can we derive from here?
A forlorn flirt? An oxymoron.
It's usually the mindset that determine how well you will fare in relationship and nor circumstances that you fall into. Your mindset SHAPES your circumstances and if it became the other way round, you could probably see a degenerative path towards Love and Relationship.
The very fact that you are involved in several relationships already means that you are not Saturn-centered isolation issue (Astrology). The reason you gave yourself is pretty much insubstantial, if you actually do some reflection and look along my direction.
I think I have spoken enough. Maybe until you are ready to mature emotionally, if not, my post still stands.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
huh?? then how? what is the solution??? No one wants you?
I think it's a psychological stand which you have constantly inbuilt into your system that cause your mind to delude the fact that it is NOT that nobody wants you, rather [b]you don't allow the condition for people to have a fulfilling relationship with yourself and making yourself a GOOD condition for people to have a fulfilling relationship with you.
And because you kept feeding yourself with this ideology, it 'appear' like everything wasn't part of the cause-and-effect plan, but in fact, it is.
I encounter many cases like yours; people who tell themselves who are doomed to be alone/unmarriagable, when in fact, they are attractive people with personality that could draw. One good example is my Pisces best friend: she has a HORDE of suitor craving for her affection and she could tell me like what you did: nobody-wants-me sort of reply.
And interestingly, the guys she chose are people who are:
I) Jerks
II) Unavailable (Married/attached/etc)
III) Practice certain form of abuse/neglect.
What kind of result can we derive from here?
A forlorn flirt? An oxymoron.
It's usually the mindset that determine how well you will fare in relationship and nor circumstances that you fall into. Your mindset SHAPES your circumstances and if it became the other way round, you could probably see a degenerative path towards Love and Relationship.
The very fact that you are involved in several relationships already means that you are not Saturn-centered isolation issue (Astrology). The reason you gave yourself is pretty much insubstantial, if you actually do some reflection and look along my direction.
I think I have spoken enough. Maybe until you are ready to mature emotionally, if not, my post still stands.
Cheers[/b] -
Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):huh?? then how? what is the solution??? Are you even enlightened to understand that having multiple partners doesn't equate to fulfilment?
If you do understand and desire to cease such relationships, are you even able to upkeep it that way?
Having fark buddies contribute to a playing unevolved mindset - are you even prepare to give them up?
Are you able to see a woman beyond sex? Are you able to date a woman because you are truly in Love and able to separate Love from Lust?
Are you able to gauge a woman based on her compatibility with you and are you able to date a 'right' woman that suits you? (Right as in available woman that doesn't introduce obvious complication).
Are you able to see that having a proper relationship will eventually lead to marriage? You don't have to marry every woman you date, but ultimately are you even afraid of settling down in a monogamy relationship?
Are you prepared for the sai kang in a proper relationship? Will you be running away from problems and return back to your original mode where it is much easier to handle, since there isn't much commitment involved? Are you willing to pay the price that comes with commitment, which you will pay less as your relationship stabilize?
P.S: Get your fundamental right - all will gradually fall into place.
Cheers