Bye Bye!!
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Yah! Same here! I will still walk off, then all he gotta do is wait. I will come back one. I will pia home because I worried he's hungry or want to give him a hug, in the end I still say sorry even though not my fault. Usually it is la..Originally posted by life2121:but will u b able 2 leave when u thought u can do it... previously i hav e same tinking but i always held on... there r times when its jus so tiring n it seems like a chore 2 meet up...
i tink when e receiving ends takes 2 much, they tend 2 b taking tinks 4 granted... damn! i hav e same experience... n i noe watever it is... even if i feel strongly 2 jus even take some time off... i will still call her n worry abt her n such... haiz... suddenly feel kinda jian gu tou (cheap bones)...
because dun forget..i am the oversensitive one right?
Damn suay...going to get engaged onli kanna this sort of thing from his friend until it got to my head..then i got to his...hahaha..tsk tsk..I am really weak too... -
i did..but see..his prob is that he thinks im the forgive and forget polaroid..one shot ok already. If i take more than a day to feel sad..he sure gets upset one. I can take 1 year to say sorry and treat him like king if i really disappoint him...but for him..i think max. 1 day.Originally posted by life2121:dats right... no need 4 revenge or e sorts... jus do wat u feel its right... but hav u tried communicating 2 him b4? like tell him how u felt n asked if he why?
Not that i will take advantage of him if he is caring..of course i will not la. I know what its like to kanna play with, why would I do it to him too? He only know how to see me as all the oversensitive overreacting dunno what thing..but he ever think abt what i have to listen to and tahan or not.Hes in the army, so tired, I know. I try now to just keep it inside. Because I think I hammer him with all my blah blah blah until it becomes a chore for him to even listen to me. Hai. My fault again.
his friend get away with it. Again. -
haha dun tink dat way lah... we not weak ba... erm... maybe jus emotionally charged... so much so dat it will always get 2 our head...Originally posted by AshedAnna:Yah! Same here! I will still walk off, then all he gotta do is wait. I will come back one. I will pia home because I worried he's hungry or want to give him a hug, in the end I still say sorry even though not my fault. Usually it is la.. because dun forget..i am the oversensitive one right?
Damn suay...going to get engaged onli kanna this sort of thing from his friend until it got to my head..then i got to his...hahaha..tsk tsk..I am really weak too...
jus 2 share a bit more... there were times when i will really act totally heck care... n it seemed that she will pay more attention n not take me 4 granted... not saying dat u shld try but jus 2 remind that sometimes by giving 2 much, we might b feeding e viscious cycle... n in e end... if u tink back... e one who is 2 be blamed e most is oneself...
hope u resolve all tis... its not easy 2 come 2 engagement stage... -
erm... dun tink so lor... not everything is ur fault lah... if u keep blaming urself.. like i said its gonna b a viscious cycle... actually i tot its kinda weird... when i was in e army, i wld always look 4ward 2 book out so i can c my ex...Originally posted by AshedAnna:i did..but see..his prob is that he thinks im the forgive and forget polaroid..one shot ok already. If i take more than a day to feel sad..he sure gets upset one. I can take 1 year to say sorry and treat him like king if i really disappoint him...but for him..i think max. 1 day.
Not that i will take advantage of him if he is caring..of course i will not la. I know what its like to kanna play with, why would I do it to him too? He only know how to see me as all the oversensitive overreacting dunno what thing..but he ever think abt what i have to listen to and tahan or not.Hes in the army, so tired, I know. I try now to just keep it inside. Because I think I hammer him with all my blah blah blah until it becomes a chore for him to even listen to me. Hai. My fault again. his friend get away with it. Again.
so if u realise u hammer him wif a lot of complains, i m sure u got do something abt it rite? -
:Originally posted by life2121:haha dun tink dat way lah... we not weak ba... erm... maybe jus emotionally charged... so much so dat it will always get 2 our head...
jus 2 share a bit more... there were times when i will really act totally heck care... n it seemed that she will pay more attention n not take me 4 granted... not saying dat u shld try but jus 2 remind that sometimes by giving 2 much, we might b feeding e viscious cycle... n in e end... if u tink back... e one who is 2 be blamed e most is oneself...
hope u resolve all tis... its not easy 2 come 2 engagement stage...: no lar we are not weak..i justfind it hard to bochup because if i bochup, he will even more bochup. Believe me, this guy can totally not talk to me for three days if he wants to. But one thing for sure is I must hold back abit more..just...how ah? -
Haha yeah I got do something..I keep quiet..find more and more ways to tell him..some ways is really super nice flatter him first honestly then tell him nicely..but end result still the same le..so now is really tiam tiam for gd. only go nuts in forum, in person must be quiet. Act happy.Originally posted by life2121:erm... dun tink so lor... not everything is ur fault lah... if u keep blaming urself.. like i said its gonna b a viscious cycle... actually i tot its kinda weird... when i was in e army, i wld always look 4ward 2 book out so i can c my ex...
so if u realise u hammer him wif a lot of complains, i m sure u got do something abt it rite?
Hai..not like i enjoy feeling this horrible..at the back of ur mind before u sleep u sure know behind every man is two women..the gf..and the other close gf..(not gf in that sense la), and sometimes..while the man is at work...close gf will try to push gf down like some silent gladiator comp..wah lau..i don't wanna compete with her lo..if she want then i let her do everything for him..like now. Let her do his birthday..i just stand there zho bo become extra lo. After all, my suggestion all no good...she say my painting skill no good...so i dont paint picture for him lo. She say my idea no good...so i let her take over lo. Next time she say i gf no good..i let her take over lo. Easy right?
What i hate is bo tai bo ji kanna tio gan by her. Its irritating. But I want to be fair and mellow abt all this. Just at this pt...take in too much sht so need to cool down first. Otherwise i will end up complaining abt it same old same old.
I think she and the ex gf of his get along veri well. But the ex because got si bei alot of suitors, so she can really bochup him and get him running after her. She also si bei chio, and the other girl never hesitate to remind me. U know what she say to me? "U not that pretty le..but i think he really love u la."
HOWEVER, she got do nice things for me. Like she buy me my little pony toy for christmas etc. She cares. BUT, material things aside...realli or not. I rather pass the toys for a friend le. -
I think it's time for you to get out of that relationship NOW.
i. He takes you for granted / got tired of you.
- What, your boyfriend can ignore you for three days? With absolutely no regards for your feelings? I refuse to believe he still loves you. You kept giving, he kept receiving and he's not responding. Not a good sign.
ii. Close female friend.
- I feel that this girl and your boyfriend have something going on. From what I read, she and your boyfriend seems to.. do everything together? Of course, with the group, but hey, if your boyfriend really loves you, he should at least TRUST and RESPECT you. But no, he gets all worked up and stomps away with that girl.
Those are pretty clear signs. Get away from him now. There is no more trust and understanding in your relationship - the two most important things are gone. -
Hey Hey
its ok can talk here...
anyway...no lar..i also dunno how to bochup...i mean im not like that by nature...I do like to talk nicely but this guy doesn't talk one.
Then...it comes to a pt even small small thing already piss me off. Like he got ringtone from her, i also dunno when she send.....he pass to me saying its from his "friend". then knn her phone ring in the car when we going somewhere, of course i feel one pierce. Then he anyhow drive suddenly because i didn't tell him what is wrong. Ringtone only man, but what piss me off is he never tell me. If he tell me, i will onli ask when she send, thats all. Wont be as upset as i am now. Haiya, he just need to admit to me, i dun have all the cool things to send him or what fck. Its okay one. I just need to know where i stand among all this. His ex never kanna this because she too chio, so that girl always look up to her. This is a fact, I was told from the ex. The ex also notice. She just never get as much as i kanna. Also, both of them act cute kind, so birds of the same freaking feather sure flock together one.
Hai. If i dun say, i will sure explode one day. If i say, things will get complicated, which is the last thing I want. I dont mean to create so much trouble lo but i cannot tahan this kind of flak from someone who hardly knows me.
She hang out alot with him so what. Come to think of it, she dont feel stupid meh. Everytime sing the same song to me. Got one time i counter her by finishing her sentence.
PS: New. She just sms me saying she will bake the cake. Sui la!! Dun need spend money on cake liao. I know..I ask her to kiss him on the cheek too..for me lar. Then this monday, she say she wanna go track day with him, i ask her accompany him. Besides, she sure more happy than me. At least he know the girl sitting next to him wont chow bin. (as if i got anything to chow bin abt...track day le!! exciting!!) -
\Originally posted by binarynwitz:I think it's time for you to get out of that relationship NOW.
i. He takes you for granted / got tired of you.
- What, your boyfriend can ignore you for three days? With absolutely no regards for your feelings? I refuse to believe he still loves you. You kept giving, he kept receiving and he's not responding. Not a good sign.
ii. Close female friend.
- I feel that this girl and your boyfriend have something going on. From what I read, she and your boyfriend seems to.. do everything together? Of course, with the group, but hey, if your boyfriend really loves you, he should at least TRUST and RESPECT you. But no, he gets all worked up and stomps away with that girl.
Those are pretty clear signs. Get away from him now. There is no more trust and understanding in your relationship - the two most important things are gone.
to the i.) Haha..that one i guess abit la..but its normal lar..alot of girls kanna this thing..guys too. I just happen to give alot. Love? He dun even say I love you to me anymore. Anyhow I blah you. Heehee..quite funny. Hai..true..
and ii.) No lar dun think they have anything going on...but she is there for him ready to support him when he need help...also..come to think of it..if u read my farther posts...if she everything bao ka liao..see i like to paint and draw..she study in art skool so that one she can do for him liao...music..i like to sing she also like to sing so also can...then...just wondering..what is left for me to do for him that she cannot do? Now hes lagi sian of me..but as much as i wanna be my happy self..cannot at the mo. Love, very strange...he doesn't storm away wit her..he just doesnt want to complicate the friendship that one i understand..but he dun get it. How he like it if everytime he meet with my friend who is a guy, e.g. la..he keep saying "err u not that handsome la" or "i love her parents her mom always hug me one! she dun hug u meh?? But ur her bf wat!!" Like maybe its tactless and innocent lar..but damn hurtful. I admit got once i told her, then she put me on guilt trip saying she treat me like a friend how can i feel like that blah blah blah. Cannot win la. Just let her be.
PS: Thank u for ur reply I just hope he doesn't read this man..i will surely kanna something...but im sure there is some way this can be resolved with everyone happi. -
btw, i just want to know...is this something i should be even reacting to in the first place? Because if it isnt, and i need honest answers...I will realli heck care and let her say until she sian. And one more thing i wanna clarify...I dun deliberately pinpoint pple one. Maybe in my nature because i am full of angst all that stupid things..i may seem like that. But freaking hell i din become some sort of half hippie to kanna this kinda cock back in singapore. Melbourne i was freaking loving the sunshine and knowing at the back of my mind there is a guy who loves me. Now he dun wanna say anymore. Wont force. I think at the end of the day...time will tell one. I wont cut the relationship short like that first...will sit back, relac one corner and watch the entertainment going on. Now, I am just very sad onli...
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it is so clear he doesn't even care about you anymore. If he cares about your feelings, he will make an effort to not be so close with that girl. trust me, I have gone thru this before, my ex was close to someone and a few weeks later we broke up and he got together with her.
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But according to him shes irritating because she is the act cute kind with the squeaky voice etc. She like to poke here poke there playful lar..nothing wrong. And she does nice things for me and him. BUT..she is attached. with this guy for 3 yrs.Originally posted by rainee:it is so clear he doesn't even care about you anymore. If he cares about your feelings, he will make an effort to not be so close with that girl. trust me, I have gone thru this before, my ex was close to someone and a few weeks later we broke up and he got together with her.
What confuses me and irritates the bejeezers outta me is that he say she is irritating and that he dun wanna play with her whichis one thing, but act like she s super best friend, even get angry wit me. She is nice to me, buy me things, BUT suddenly whack one insult to me. So what is what now? Who is the bad person here? Issit me? Because it is si bei confusing.
I dont tell him these things so he will fall out with her sia. This is bull. Why i tell him is because 1) i regard him as my bf 2) Since she is gonna be a close friend, then how do i resolve this 3) If i counter and make her cry, thats it lo I will look like the cb who is petty or whatever but who wont become like that if kenna this ?
Im so sorry to hear abt ur case....Hai..pple very difficult to trust...i trust him...but these days...slowly bit by bit he stop telling me things..then say its my fault because i will get upset...this cycle is familiar to me but the solution is not...and to me..if they get together then get together la..dun need to sway here sway there...and i just wanna be happy again...but dunno why what she says has been affecting me alot. just don't know why. Usually it will fall off my shoulders. -
oh yar..its hard for him not to be close..i mean they all share nice memories together...so something i know i have to accept which is ok. but dun need to rub it into my face until liddat. I know maybe she is tactless but innocent, but i dun think i am willing to tahan this for the rest of my life. Also, i cannot be the only one trying to accommodate. There must be a balance. I also have my own things to do wat. He think army very shiong ah. Wait till he start living my life le. The only reason why I seem so free is because i drop everything to spend time with him when he book out, i am happy to.Originally posted by rainee:it is so clear he doesn't even care about you anymore. If he cares about your feelings, he will make an effort to not be so close with that girl. trust me, I have gone thru this before, my ex was close to someone and a few weeks later we broke up and he got together with her.
Also, maybe i always no money not like her...cannot cook, cannot be capable and dunno what else...oh ya, never pass driving the first try..like him..which she also start one neverending story abt both of them passing first time...see, irritating right? whats the point of all this? why wanna poke poke me until i feel the finger? I dun get it. Say one thing, act another. Very sian 1/2. -
maybe you shud have a good talk with him abt all this instead of writing it here
A couple shud learn to communicate with each other...without communication everything falls apart -
Thats the prob. We reboth so tired of the same topic once i mention one word of it he will keep silent. Sure silent war one.Originally posted by rainee:maybe you shud have a good talk with him abt all this instead of writing it here
A couple shud learn to communicate with each other...without communication everything falls apart nmind la..how about this...i will let her keep doing this and just keep quiet...because i also dont want bo tai bo ji complicate a "super strong friendship". Besides..obviously im in no position to comment. To him, or her, i am just one member of a group. I wish I was beautiful to him again, the happy girl he loves spending time with. But happy girl kanna tekan for months already. how le? Just remain happy again lo. Try to geh abit if all else fails. I love him, I still believe in this. BUT, i wish the girl didnt have to keep saying all those things. Maybe if she just keep quiet, give me abit of space and chance to at least PLAN MY BF'S BIRTHDAY or be his gf in one way or another, wouldnt be so bad. Shes not a bad girl, she is very caring. Beautiful person. BUT...........i am afraid.
I'll admit it here privately to u all I am afraid. Sometimes, the way he looks at her is si bei scary. I am with him almost all the time when he book out, maybe i will lay low for awhile. Just keep quiet and slowly distant myself first. I will try to do that. I want to know where i stand in his heart. Whether through gd times and bad, this guy is going to stand by me, because through his gd times and bad, i am there. And I will be one. Dun need to give me equal or wat nonsense. Just be abit more patient and kind. Just because he is kind doesnt mean i will go"haha, i got u!" Siao. I will appreciate . -
hmm...see how it goes ba. Actually for me, I would just let go cos no point being in a r/s when I can't even be myself and the other party doesn't seem to care when I am sad.Originally posted by AshedAnna:Thats the prob. We reboth so tired of the same topic once i mention one word of it he will keep silent. Sure silent war one. nmind la..how about this...i will let her keep doing this and just keep quiet...because i also dont want bo tai bo ji complicate a "super strong friendship". Besides..obviously im in no position to comment. To him, or her, i am just one member of a group. I wish I was beautiful to him again, the happy girl he loves spending time with. But happy girl kanna tekan for months already. how le? Just remain happy again lo. Try to geh abit if all else fails. I love him, I still believe in this. BUT, i wish the girl didnt have to keep saying all those things. Maybe if she just keep quiet, give me abit of space and chance to at least PLAN MY BF'S BIRTHDAY or be his gf in one way or another, wouldnt be so bad. Shes not a bad girl, she is very caring. Beautiful person. BUT...........i am afraid.
I'll admit it here privately to u all I am afraid. Sometimes, the way he looks at her is si bei scary. I am with him almost all the time when he book out, maybe i will lay low for awhile. Just keep quiet and slowly distant myself first. I will try to do that. I want to know where i stand in his heart. Whether through gd times and bad, this guy is going to stand by me, because through his gd times and bad, i am there. And I will be one. Dun need to give me equal or wat nonsense. Just be abit more patient and kind. Just because he is kind doesnt mean i will go"haha, i got u!" Siao. I will appreciate .
But up to you to decide ba...hope evthing will turn out well for u -
I hope so and I hope I am not being an idiot for holding on...just feel freaking useless lar...i know he cares for me not in a normal way but different...but doesnt mean he cant tell his gf he love her IF its for real..now i wish i can believe it.Originally posted by rainee:hmm...see how it goes ba. Actually for me, I would just let go cos no point being in a r/s when I can't even be myself and the other party doesn't seem to care when I am sad.
But up to you to decide ba...hope evthing will turn out well for u my heart kanna broken again... -
If anyone can summarise what is going on, pls do. In lesser sentences to the pt, better....i hate being so lo li lo sor... would be much appreciated. For now...any moderator...by tom...is it ok to super lock this thread?? Because if he read i will die. I dun want spoil his mood. Thank u anyone else if u want to talk can pm me or we start a new thread... thank u all for ur help...pls continue to leave comments..flame also can...
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Haiz.. it's the 'friends or me' situation again..
I know it's super confusing about that friend of yours.
There are some people that are really buay zhi dong.
One moment hery want to be mr/miss popular to get into your books, another moment want to have one-upmanship. This type of people thinks they are always rite & knows best. maybe she cares way too much.
Find a time to talk to her to leave you guys alone to grow on your own.
It can be difficult but something have to be done to break out of this triangle. -
*weeps*Originally posted by AshedAnna:What am I going to do guys...his birthday's coming up...I've gone out and gotten his favourite things...Im especially excited about this one present, which is a book!
But..I was thinking of something more elaborate..but..I'll leave it all to that girl to plan because she already texted me about what she plans to do for him. My role is to say "ok" to everything, or get insulted if i suggest anything else. So yay, I'm kinda free from everything because she bao ka liao.
U know last year...my godbrother helped me book a suite at the Fullerton along with champagne and roses and all that crap... and in the end....she told me that he was happiest spending it with his friends at sentosa having a bbq?? It happened that way, oh yeah...2k plus of my savings were blown away The only reason why I didn't tell him she said that was because I didn't want to be selfish and take him away from his friends!! Hahahahaha...I am sucha nong...
( i can't believe im laughing right now..)
why u have to listen to that 3rd party? its like she's trying to split the both of you up leh.
in the end, is you that matters, not her or him. Its okay to be selfish at times -
wah, even now still thinkin of his feelings. What a great girl u are ehOriginally posted by AshedAnna:If anyone can summarise what is going on, pls do. In lesser sentences to the pt, better....i hate being so lo li lo sor... would be much appreciated. For now...any moderator...by tom...is it ok to super lock this thread?? Because if he read i will die. I dun want spoil his mood. Thank u anyone else if u want to talk can pm me or we start a new thread... thank u all for ur help...pls continue to leave comments..flame also can... -
Move on gal! Cut your losses and dont waste your time. Why stay in this rs when you can move on to greener pastures? Not wanting to get engaged and not wanting to get engaged with you are two different things. Wasting time & resources with the wrong person is just time/money wasted. And when you do move on and find your right person, Im sure you're not going to wish you had more time to spend more time with Mr Wishy Washy rite?Originally posted by AshedAnna:Oh no...Im sorry to hear that...Hai...maybe its normal for us to kanna this kind of thing...I am planning to stick around abit more...then if really nothing changes..I will leave..I said I won't leave him but doesn't mean he take me for granted...what are u planning to do?
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Yah! That's it man thank u. Short and sweet. Actually from the beginning it wasn't a "ur friends or me" until i cannot take it anymore. I wonder why he gets mad when I get affected by wat she says. If she says something mean, he'll tell me to use my common sense and say "its a joke! Cannot differentiate issit!"Originally posted by Magnus:Haiz.. it's the 'friends or me' situation again..
I know it's super confusing about that friend of yours.
There are some people that are really buay zhi dong.
One moment hery want to be mr/miss popular to get into your books, another moment want to have one-upmanship. This type of people thinks they are always rite & knows best. maybe she cares way too much.
Find a time to talk to her to leave you guys alone to grow on your own.
It can be difficult but something have to be done to break out of this triangle. -
Is not I want to listen..she really damn agressive if she wants to do things her way one. Its like I say hey lets do this then she will ten sentences say "no no he dont like this one u dunno meh etc etc etc".Originally posted by alexkusu:*weeps*
why u have to listen to that 3rd party? its like she's trying to split the both of you up leh.
in the end, is you that matters, not her or him. Its okay to be selfish at times Yar u know maybe I DON'T know him very well or whatever but she freaking at least just KNOW that I am with him, not her lo. But funny le. He get angry with me and give her face one. Why liddat? -
Originally posted by alexkusu:Move on gal! Cut your losses and dont waste your time. Why stay in this rs when you can move on to greener pastures? Not wanting to get engaged and not wanting to get engaged with you are two different things. Wasting time & resources with the wrong person is just time/money wasted. And when you do move on and find your right person, Im sure you're not going to wish you had more time to spend more time with Mr Wishy Washy rite? Hee...yeah I know...but if I were to leave I will onli do it if really I completely break down. As of now...I will still try but the weird thing is Im doing all the freaking effort because he blame me totally. He just sit back and criticise. Then he says I got self-esteem problems. Siao. Of course I will la. I treat her like my close friend last time then suddenly she pull one wugong like that come out. And most of the time she say when he's not around. I got record one small conversation but I deleted it because its too psychotic already. But when I tell him he simply doesn't believe me, and thinks Im just out to get her. Sht, own gf think she is one kind of cb. Where got like that, one? No wonder he cant bring himself to say he love me anymore. Then when I ask him if he love me anymore he tulan. So what does he expect me to do sia. Programme me to just smile issit.