Bye Bye!!
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u gotta wake up liao la. dun because a relationship is long means that u must try all means even to the point of ill treating urself to maintain it. dun give a fuck seriously its not difficult to find another guy unless ur goddamn fugly. watever ur gonna feel after breaking up is just some insecurity from splitting up from a long time relationship and having a major overhaul of ur lifestyle. u lidat sit there tio kan tio kaobei i dun tink u will be happy right? dun let urself become someone with a major emotional baggage i tio before its really quite hard to get urself on the right track again.
anyway i suggest u cease the futile action of trying to talk sense to ur bf liao since its extremely obvious that he's too 'friend' with the girl. i believe the idea of talking nicely has actually been suggested by some other forumers and has briefly crossed ur mind but its not gonna work. reality check ==> the relationship has reached a point where talking simply isnt going to solve the root of the problem.
now u can try to hang in there and maybe wait for the girl to fuck up or for ur bf to get sick of that slimy girl. or u can wake up and leave this relationship which is taking a toll on u. personally i'm not too optimistic for u on the former that kind of girl u noe how sticky they are and more. if u really go break up there's positives for u in any case: (1) hopefully, ur bf maybe, juz maybe, will wake up a bit and find out wat's wrong, in which case a proper talk might actually be appropriate under such circumstances. depending on how much he is distracted by the girl though. (2) u get urself out of a messed up relationship.
good luck. -
Ask yourself if you are happier staying in this r/s or getting out of it.
You might be sad in the short term if you choose to leave, but if you stay, you will be in for long term suffering.
Which one do you prefer?
It is your call girl
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Seems like your this gf of yours brain wash ur bf that u r not suitable for him ...
Just leave them alone if they can get together or not ...
Chances are higher for a break up ... -
hihi..to the threadstarter...how old r u and your bf?
i oso cannot stand act cute girls...seriously..if i were you...i think ill go crazy..
personal opinion : i feel your bf should draw a line between friendship and girlfriend..it seems that he is treating that stupid girl as a girlfriend.
so maybe if you want to save the relationship,you can try talkin to him?or maybe write him a lettter so that you can organise your thoughts better...coz i understand sometimes its not really easy to have a face to face,heart to hear talk..
that gal is like trying to challenge your position..i guess your bf should learn how to place his priority.
and seriously, i feel like slapping and strangling that act cute gal.haha
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i noe its difficult to put down a relationship dat has been so long and dat u still love him.. but a relationship doesnt work if only one party is giving out, n e other party acting as though hes a toilet bowl, always in, nv out.. its a fact dat he doesnt treat u as well as dat girl-fren of his.. excuse me.. if dis is e case, u as his gf is only his gf by name.. so wads e point? dun let him drag u on.. he's not worthy of ur love.. im sure dat girl is already more dan juz a fren to him.. leave him and only den will he realise whos true to him, n whos e f*ckin hypocrite as time goes by.. im sure no one can act for more dan half of her life.. n by den, u will already find a better man, n for ur dear bf now, he would haf wasted half of his life wif a hypocrite if he ever chooses her once both of u r not together, which is likely e case.. dun mind me saying.. dat guy is a jerk.. n dat girl is a bitch.. dun waste ur life on them.. u can lead a better life..
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I think there ain't no sure way to tell for now...Originally posted by AshedAnna:But according to him shes irritating because she is the act cute kind with the squeaky voice etc. She like to poke here poke there playful lar..nothing wrong. And she does nice things for me and him. BUT..she is attached. with this guy for 3 yrs.
What confuses me and irritates the bejeezers outta me is that he say she is irritating and that he dun wanna play with her whichis one thing, but act like she s super best friend, even get angry wit me. She is nice to me, buy me things, BUT suddenly whack one insult to me. So what is what now? Who is the bad person here? Issit me? Because it is si bei confusing.
I dont tell him these things so he will fall out with her sia. This is bull. Why i tell him is because 1) i regard him as my bf 2) Since she is gonna be a close friend, then how do i resolve this 3) If i counter and make her cry, thats it lo I will look like the cb who is petty or whatever but who wont become like that if kenna this ?
Im so sorry to hear abt ur case....Hai..pple very difficult to trust...i trust him...but these days...slowly bit by bit he stop telling me things..then say its my fault because i will get upset...this cycle is familiar to me but the solution is not...and to me..if they get together then get together la..dun need to sway here sway there...and i just wanna be happy again...but dunno why what she says has been affecting me alot. just don't know why. Usually it will fall off my shoulders.
It could be that they really don't quite like you and see you like a thorn in the eye... More unhappy with the fact that you're actually his gf... Trying to make things difficult for you so as to rid of you... At the same time trying to act 'kind'...?
It however can also be that it's just their character and nature... Somehow maybe just quite different from yours... Your bf... His friends... I don't have much doubt that he kinda 'enjoy' their company in 1 way or another as friends... Otherwise they won't be together... The 'minus' thing about this is that somehow there is a tendency for his mentality to be naturally closer to theirs... Or to be influenced by them in certain ways...
As for between you and your bf... I'll suggest you just try to keep things cool with him for now... Personally I feel that it's better for the engagement to be called off as there really isn't enough stability in the relationship to withstand the external factors revolving around it... If you know that your complaints are irritating him, try to cut down on that or minus it off totally from them... As much as I would like to see that as a form of communication bridge between you and him when done correctly.. I just don't see how it would help if it is to break things down totally before any much of other appropriate 'communication' can be reached..?
Alternatively, you can try to voice out whatever you wish to say to him to a friend instead...?
At this point, I think it's more important for everybody to keep their cool.. And yup.. Perhaps like you've mentioned... To watch the 'entertainment' but not to overreact to them...
Just to add... It is quite 'strange' (ok, not really that...) for a couple to be engaged because he often feel very happy when he's with you.... In a relationship, it's really not just about being happy together... Imagine if you're both married to each other.. What happens when you're not 'happy together'? -
I waited for one hour at my grandmas hse for him to pick me. He say he going to see sticker for car with her bf and her. Turn out see already make me wait for damn long. I last one to leave the hse le, and grandma wanna sleep. He will pia for them, won't freaking pia for me. Oh ya, and i thought they just call him to go...last minute...NO. PLAN BEFOREHAND LIAO. Damn basket one.
Then that girl artist wat..super artist right...design some cock or gui sticker say "cute right??Cute right?? Hee hee" fck la. She want trophy or what.
Freaking attention seeker. Pple talk also she must anyhow listen. Idiot.
But she got one super irritating thing she really lives by from what I observe.
"IF I WANNA MAKE STUPID COMMENTS, I BETTER BE CUTE WHEN I DO IT."
AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
I think enough le..I better break off. Realli i cannot keep tolerating this kinda thing. Ex gf chio then chio la. That girl friend of his can go fck spider. I had enough. I love him but...he dont realise the person who make me sad is actually him. He everytime scold me.
Malaysia that time, yesterday we went, i freaking do everything for him. I bring camera la, big bag, help him to settle white card and passport, early morning kanna tekan because I no key to go inside the hse to bring out his cigarette. I go up twice. He dont tell me the plan for the day and who we're meeting, how the fck i know we are actually late.
Cannot already...I cannot keep accommodating his mood..happy happy hug me, no happy onli tekan me, and if i upset he heck care. Joke or no joke, I am no toy. ...doubt he will come running back to me..I bet once we break right..that girl will freaking be all over him..say dont be sad la...actualli from the start i already dun like her...blah blah blah....sure one..i tell u. I bet my whole life on it.. (either way live or die i also nothing to lose la)
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I am happy in this relationship..but only when she comes into the picture..wow. Instant mood breaker. (Well it has gotten to this pt anyhow...it wouldn't be sucha pisser if in the first place somebody u know..told her to keep the hell quiet and be abit more zhi dong.)Originally posted by rainee:Ask yourself if you are happier staying in this r/s or getting out of it.
You might be sad in the short term if you choose to leave, but if you stay, you will be in for long term suffering.
Which one do you prefer?
It is your call girl -
Well she has her bf, who is my bf's best friend. I mean...somebody who doesn't have any partnership history with my bf whatsoever saying things like that...I mean, about the comment on his ahem, if she has seen the picture then fcking thats it. Dont have to hao lian. U see, its always taken a step further.Originally posted by playmemory:Seems like your this gf of yours brain wash ur bf that u r not suitable for him ...
Just leave them alone if they can get together or not ...
Chances are higher for a break up ...
I mean, I am sick of even talking about her at all, but if I don't let go this anger...I mean, where the heck am I going to channel it to? My bf expects me to smile all the time, then there's the world's most annoying THING saying this and that abt how she and him blah blah blah, and she says it in front of her boy too which i dunno how the hell he can tahan...(love must b damn strong or something)...BUT I CANNOT KANNA TEKAN LEFT RIGHT!!! ITS NOT FAIR!! WHY ME?? WHY NOT THE FRIEND? WHY MUST BE THE GIRLFRIEND KANNA BLAME FOR EVERYTHING ONE?? YOU WILL ANYHOW BLAME UR GF MEH IF U LOVE HER??ANYHOW SCOLD HER UNTIL SHE CRY MEH??ANYHOW HECK CARE HER UNTIL SHE BEG U TO HOLD HER HAND LIKE A DOG BEGGING FOR BISCUIT???ALLOW ANYONE TO SAY MEAN THINGS TO HER?? THEN WHEN SHE SAY SHE LOVE YOU YOU ANYHOW ANSWER??? SAY SHE GOT ISSUES WITH EVERYTHING WHEN IN THE FIRST PLACE U NEVER DO UR FREAKING DUTY AS A BF TO MAKE SURE U TAKE CARE OF HER, ARMY OR NOT???? REALISE SHE EVERY WEEKEND FOLD UR UNIFORM NICE NICE FOR U, MAKE SURE U GET TO CAMP SAFELY, WORRY ABT YOU, NEVER PILLION OTHER GUYS BIKE ANYHOW OR ANYHOW TAKE OTHER GUYS CAR OR GO OUT WITH OTHER GUYS BEHIND UR BACK??SHE EVERYTIME GO OUT, EAT, SLEEP, THINKING OF YOU??NEVER SAY MEAN THINGS TO U??
(sry suddenly i became very sad.) -
You've got to be firm and tell that girl to cut her crap and respect the personal space between you and your guy.No negotiations.If you want to salvage this whole relationship, and your sanity, you have to be firm.Originally posted by AshedAnna:I am happy in this relationship..but only when she comes into the picture..wow. Instant mood breaker. (Well it has gotten to this pt anyhow...it wouldn't be sucha pisser if in the first place somebody u know..told her to keep the hell quiet and be abit more zhi dong.)
It's when you let something carry on for far too long, and the other party thinks it's perfectly fine and dandy to be the traffic light, then this sorta thing will happen.
Friends are friends, hanging out is one thing, invading your space and time, now that's a no-no.If you guy chooses to walk that path, then you have to stand back and re-assess the situation. -
I wun be there on his b-day. I got ask him whether he saturday nite free or not. Just give him the present and siam liao. Anyhow say I got seminar or dunno wat on his b-day. Tell him also no use. He will heck care anyway. Nmind la..give sunday to his friends. because i'd be too selfish rite, to come along and spoil his mood. because if she is there i sure freaking hell wanna strangle her. Not fair to him also la. 21st birthday le.
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That's being the victim..It will only make this situation worse, because now the ammo is with the rest, to bitch about your absence etc.Originally posted by AshedAnna:I wun be there on his b-day. I got ask him whether he saturday nite free or not. Just give him the present and siam liao. Anyhow say I got seminar or dunno wat on his b-day. Tell him also no use. He will heck care anyway. Nmind la..give sunday to his friends. because i'd be too selfish rite, to come along and spoil his mood. because if she is there i sure freaking hell wanna strangle her. Not fair to him also la. 21st birthday le. -
\Originally posted by LazerLordz:You've got to be firm and tell that girl to cut her crap and respect the personal space between you and your guy.No negotiations.If you want to salvage this whole relationship, and your sanity, you have to be firm.
It's when you let something carry on for far too long, and the other party thinks it's perfectly fine and dandy to be the traffic light, then this sorta thing will happen.
Friends are friends, hanging out is one thing, invading your space and time, now that's a no-no.If you guy chooses to walk that path, then you have to stand back and re-assess the situation.
How? Apparently Im the only person who sees what shes doing and saying is wrong. My bf doesn't. Neither does hers. If I make her cry, who is going to stand by me and go, yeah she's right? And who wants to get caught in this crossfire? I can suck it up and suppress it like I always do and probably get old faster, or somebody whom she listens to and takes seriously can just tell her right in the face. I dont really feel sorry for her if she cries because in the first place, you're gonna get what you give. And the irony is, she now tells me she hates his ex because that chio bu used to play with HER bf, and that made her uncomfortable. What a sick twist. -
Oh no...oh no...what am i supposed to do now....I just want my boyfriend back...Originally posted by LazerLordz:That's being the victim..It will only make this situation worse, because now the ammo is with the rest, to bitch about your absence etc. -
You want your boyfriend back the way he was? Or are you prepared to see the reality that he is? A man who will not stand up for you in front of his friends?Originally posted by AshedAnna:Oh no...oh no...what am i supposed to do now....I just want my boyfriend back...
Sorry but the last sentence is what I gather and feel from your posts.. -
Originally posted by LazerLordz:You want your boyfriend back the way he was? Or are you prepared to see the reality that he is? A man who will not stand up for you in front of his friends?
Sorry but the last sentence is what I gather and feel from your posts.. He doesn' see the pt of standing up for me because in the first place he is able to heck care abt what she says according to him, but what about me? I can't not care...especially when it gets so personal...arrghh...i never do anything to hurt him..why he still like that...why why why why why why why why why why...i told him before no matter how angry or how sad or whatever he is he is still beautiful to me....just give me some time to cry ahwile will do because there is nothing else I can do but cry. everything else is most likely forbidden or will get me even more upset. Like if i choose to talk about it, nothing gd will come out of it because he will get silent, i will get more frustrated... -
You can choose your husband but you cannot choose your in-laws.
Same case.
You can choose your boyfriend but you cannot choose his friends.
If you accept him, you would have to accept more. -
hmm..Originally posted by AshedAnna: He doesn' see the pt of standing up for me because in the first place he is able to heck care abt what she says according to him, but what about me? I can't not care...especially when it gets so personal...arrghh...i never do anything to hurt him..why he still like that...why why why why why why why why why why...i told him before no matter how angry or how sad or whatever he is he is still beautiful to me....just give me some time to cry ahwile will do because there is nothing else I can do but cry. everything else is most likely forbidden or will get me even more upset. Like if i choose to talk about it, nothing gd will come out of it because he will get silent, i will get more frustrated...
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I have the same scenario .. yeah ... except that i'm a guy and my gf is closer to her friend (girl) ...
i did the same .... do everything for her, it always seems not enough ...
when she's down ... i spend the whole day saying sorry when it's only a minor misunderstanding ... and I cheer her up by talking to her a lot ..
when i'm down, usually because she don't pay attention to me, she only asked me whether i'm okay ... i ignored her ... need a little time mah ..
then she got upset ... saying can't stand another time ler ....
and our anniversary ... i asked her out ... was gonna do something nice for her ..
she rather do her work at home, that's fine ..
but later on, she went out with her friend ... without telling me ... i feel insignificant like you ..
i keep on telling myself ... loving is about giving and expecting nothing in return ..
you love him, and by doing all that, you prove that you're a nice person ....
bear with it, when he really can't stand you, well ... get over it bah ..... someone used to tell me, not to take relationship too seriously, will get hurt like crazy ....
just put your care and attention into the relationship, but not your life and let it become your obsession .... take care! -
I realli love him..just getting all this is abit unfair le..I will stay by his side...but just feel sometimes less impt. than that girl...I know maybe sometimes hejust give in otherwise she will cow beh more...but...better to shut her up than me? She dun even know me le...Originally posted by SilverRevo:I have the same scenario .. yeah ... except that i'm a guy and my gf is closer to her friend (girl) ...
i did the same .... do everything for her, it always seems not enough ...
when she's down ... i spend the whole day saying sorry when it's only a minor misunderstanding ... and I cheer her up by talking to her a lot ..
when i'm down, usually because she don't pay attention to me, she only asked me whether i'm okay ... i ignored her ... need a little time mah ..
then she got upset ... saying can't stand another time ler ....
and our anniversary ... i asked her out ... was gonna do something nice for her ..
she rather do her work at home, that's fine ..
but later on, she went out with her friend ... without telling me ... i feel insignificant like you ..
i keep on telling myself ... loving is about giving and expecting nothing in return ..
you love him, and by doing all that, you prove that you're a nice person ....
bear with it, when he really can't stand you, well ... get over it bah ..... someone used to tell me, not to take relationship too seriously, will get hurt like crazy ....
just put your care and attention into the relationship, but not your life and let it become your obsession .... take care!
Yar i will try to prove myself as a nice person...
just getting too much bad thing from them onli.. -
But I dun understand why it becomes like that... small small thing just anyhow scold me...or give me that kinda look..then that girl also anyhow talk...just how much of a loser do they want me to feel man. I wanna die sia. Realli. Everytime I say sorry, when I try to help and maybe cock up abit he just say "i never ask u to help wat". Wat the hell...
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everyone speaks un-rationally when they flare up...take it as deaf ear then give each other time to cool off?
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haiz...why not have a talk with your bf?
or
maybe can gather sgforumnites and ambush that girl.I help you throw tomato.heehee
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Hai...
today he bad mood because he lost his 11b..this sunday his b-day but he cant book out for a month i think its drivers course...why timing so bad one..
I gave things alot of thought actualli...I won't leave him but I think I will have to tell that girl off...(jialat she got the same name as me some more). If she tekan me again, I will just tell her firmly but tactfully that she should basically just shut the f up. No choice...gotta do it...im just scared that pple will think im oversensitive or wat..but i think now not scared liao...
I dunno when i will meet her next but if i do...then i do lo.. if i make her cry..then lan lan if everybody side her i just apologise...because i really kanna cornered until cannot corner anymore...what u think? what is the best way to say to her? -
what is the horoscope of there " fren " ?
Be careful when u tackle there ger, somehow i sense she is not a simple person.
U also need to show some proof to your bf..