A real life love story
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W run down the staircase with all her tearsÂ… she could not accept itÂ… all in her mind was why why why? Why is this happening to her? K was following herÂ… silently.. W walk around aimlessly.. for hours till she break down.. and cryÂ…
K walk towards her… “dear….”
W had been thinking in her mind to let K go back to Liling Â….
“K… why dun you go back to her? She need you…”
“ No!”
There is silent between themÂ… W know that K had no more feeling for Lilting anymore.. but would she be able to accept it? To live with this forever? Â…
K too was feeling really sad he did not expect W would have mind so much.. He regretted telling her but they will have to face it one day and W had the right to know about this..
Time pass with both of them sitting there in silent.
W turn aroundÂ… walk towards K Â… and hug him...
“ K, I admit that I can’t accept it but what is done cannot be undone… you love me and you were willing to accept me and my past.. so why cant I do the same thing…”
“ dear if you really cant accept it and wanted me to leave now I will… but I wun go back to her anymore…to me you were the only one I love and willing to protect you for life… it was my fault for what I have done but…. I only got to know it today.. and you know that all along I dun love her.. she was only my companion… she know that herself.. moreover why must she wait till now … then she say..”
in W heart she is thinking of the same thing as well. If she really have K child why must she only appear now? W find that she is up to something but what if it is true?
W mind was in a mix.. what should she do nowÂ…
Somehow all rather W and K was thinking of the same thingÂ… Liling was lyingÂ…
Be it true or false Â…
“ K be it I am lying to myself or not but I find that something is wrong… I just cant bring myself to believe it.. Liling hate us all along..
but no matter what.. dear… I love you and I am willing to trust you … I am willing to let go of this… as I believe it is not true.. and I know you… too well , I am willing to let go of this will you? Are you able to?”
“I will … I will so long as you trust me.. I was so afraid you would leave me because of this… I have doubt about this as well, as the time when she had the baby I was in camp.. and we have not had any intimate for a long time.. some how the time does tally… I was thinking whether to tell you… as I am afraid you wun believe it…”
K was so touch that W is able to understand..
Time after that Liling keep on calling K .. she would choose that kind of timing where she know that W would be with KÂ… she would sms him all kind of mushy sms sms hopping that I could seeÂ…W did not see any reason now not to believe K.. as she know that Liling was caper able to do anything just to get him back.. K and W was together 24hrs everyday.. she cant find any time that k would meet LilingÂ… but W was a insecure gal as say earlier on.. she wanted K to have a clean talk with LilingÂ….
K did Â… from that time onwards Liling have stop sms himÂ…Â…. -
W and K resume back to their life style fast. One fine day K ask W. “ what if one day you have my child what would you want to do?” K was hugging W.. he always find W very huggable..
“ me? If I have your child one day and we were not marry I will go and abort it without telling you.. as I would not want to get marry so young.. and I know that you dun think much of kids rite..”W say it jokingly..
“If you ever do that dun ever come and look for me again..” It was the first time that K ever shouted at W ,in this years.. W keep quite all the way as she did not really mean what she say.. even if she does, she did it because she dun want K to be tired down just because she had his child… W would never do this kind of things..
But K would no longer want to have W so much in bedÂ…after that day.. Whenever W ask K why, he would give excuse that he is tired.. but W know deep down in KÂ’s heart he is afraid that I would be the same as LilingÂ… he would not want me to suffer. And he would want to keep the child.. because of this W and K frought very often, W suspect that K might have other woman out there if not why K refuse to WÂ… W would be able to take it no matter what the reason is except ,K got tired of WÂ… W always have that thought that K was doing something behind her back.. or if he got tired of her.. Every night when K is not around W would have her mind running wild.. but infect K was just having some decent fun with his friends..
W was too sensitive for K to take it. But with his love for W he would try his very best to compromise. He just want W to be happy. On the part of W ,she felt bad for treating K in this way at times, but she just cant rest her mind. The only think she hope was that K would understand.. W and K never believe that they could be so much in love that infect willing to give each other their bow of love, to care and love for each other even if they themselves ,alone suffer.. -
Thought their love were strong.. but there is already a communication breakdown which both of them refuse to talk it out.. W try.. when she notice that K seem to be more and more reluctant to talk about this. W become more and more possessive when she find that K became less attach to her.( remember K and W used to be together everydayÂ…) K would wanted to have his own time. K would spent all his time with his friends and computer..
Once W went over to peep at K comÂ’s it was not intentionally at all. The ICQ icon just flash out when W on the com.. K was not around at that moment.. W saw something that really broke her heartÂ…
It was a conversation between him and a gal.
“ hi! Wow nice to c you on line…! It has been so long since last time we chat!( W never know if chat meaning on the phone or in ICQ.) how are you getting on? I really miss talking to you.” Say that gal.
“ yup! Me too! Guess what I miss you too since the last time we chat! So where have you been?”
“ same thing as per normal lor.. hey you too seem to be so bz! Where on earth would you have time for your gf?”
“ gf? Since when did I say I have a gf? I am so bz with my work and studys what you think.. not many gals could stand me. As I dun have time to stay with them..”
“oic.. but you were a nice guy!! Sure you will find your someone. Hummmm… I am so hungry …”
“ oh you ! hungry? Where you stay? I come and pick you out then we go for dinner? I really miss you leh..”
They started to dicuss where they want to go... that gal was staying in woodlands and is very far away from K! W could not carry on with their message anymore.. it was too hurtful for her to see.how could K do this at the back of her?! What went wrong with him? W did not cry.. she got no more tears to shedÂ… their conversation keep on rolling in her mind. Is K really tired of W? At that point of time W just want to leaveÂ… she wanted so much to confront K but was afraid that K would leave her because of this.. W would do anything just to make K stay beside herÂ….
Does this phase sound familiar? At the beginning of this story W did the same thing and K keep quite as well.. it was W retribution Â…. W would never expect it Â… K was has change it was no longer that W used to know..
They spent lessees and lessees time with each other.. K would always say that he is bzÂ… or tired but when ever W call K later in the time K would not be aroundÂ…
K was lying… he just dun want to see W even if they meet up K and W would not have much to talk and W would be pulling a long face. Whenever this happen K would start to scream at W… “ what is it that you want? Why are you always pulling a long face?”
W would always be silent and apologize to K even if is not her fault.. There is something in W that K do not know .. that ICQ.. W did not do it deliberately Â… she always pull a long face is because she wanted K to notice her.. she know that is a very childish thing to do butÂ… she just want K to notice her. And the only way to make K talk to W is to create tention to quarrel.
In W heart she never never want this to happen.. she is very disappointed with herself rather then with K.. W used to have a very strong character and would be able to let go whenever it comes to relationshipÂ…but nowÂ…. She is totally devoted to KÂ… W wanted to savage the situationÂ…
Times when they quarrel on the phone she would take a taxi down to KÂ’s place just to apologize.. and when ever K say that he miss her she would rush down to KÂ’s place in the next minutes.. W did all this just to please K.. she had tried real hard. -
The last draw came when she was having a fight with K on the phone while she is working… K slams down on W’s phone. W was so piss off that she decide to take a few hours off to rush down to K’s place. (K was at home at that moment. K was supposed to have his RT at 7 which was say by K all this while.) in the taxis W was trying her very best to control her emotion she just want to have a nice talk with K and patch things up but when K open the door and saw W.. “ why are you here again!!!!! Cant you just let me off.. everytime when we quarrel you would run up to my places are you done with all your rubbish? Could show some respect for yourself and me?” W felt real sad, which is beyond her limits…
She cries out loud “ BASTRAD!! You are asking me why am I so useless to come up! Respect!! I do respect you but do you? What are you and that ICQ gal? Should I respect your ICQ gal as well? I have already been keeping quiet… I had enough!!!”
K has really gone way before WÂ’s limitÂ… but.. instead of K feeling guilt for what he has done he turn aroundÂ…
“What!!! You look into my ICQ? Dun you think that you are being very rude!!! Why should I be guilty of? You should be the one! Now tell me what you want now!
W felt the knife stabbing straight into her heartÂ…
“I know I was in the wrong in seeing your ICQ but I did not do it purposely! But I have already see what I should not see so I want a explanation from you! Who is that gal related to you? What have I done wrong to make you want to fool around out there?
“ohs please for god sick!!!! I dun owe you any explanation! Look you were in the wrong! Not me! Think! If I have really got something to do with that gal would I ever be so stupid to let you see the thing without deleting away? This show how much faith you have in me ! come-on! Is all in your head!! Why cant we just give some space for each other and please dun do this kind stupid thing by putting down all your job and come here! Give me a break were you.! And moreover I have never met her although we wanted to meet up but gosh !she stay so far do you think I will? And who on earth we tell each other their true identity? I am just playing around as I was bored!”
W was really mad! she felt so hurt at that point of timeÂ… why why has K become like this? WhyÂ… she could only suffer in silent as she know that what ever she say K would only harden his words and start to screaming at her againÂ…
W went over to hug K… “ I am sorry dear.. I wun any more…”
GOD! She could not believe what has come out from her mouthsÂ…. She was not in herself.. whenever W thinks of this she had a fear towards KÂ….. even till now.. the feeling is no longer the same.. would the history repeat again? No ones would know..
K hug her back…. He dun mean to hurt W but he felt that even if W had been in the wrong to peep at his computer. Even if she does that why does she want to kick a big fight over this ! K felt that ‘ she is the one who want to see this and now she is making a big fuss here…’
No words could come out from her mouths .. she just want K to stay with her .. but not after awhile K pull W away and start to search for his things.. W was even more surprise when K was ready to go when he is not even in his uniformÂ…
“ why are you in this aren’t you going for your RT?”
“I have just come back from there and now I am meeting somewhere else. Faster say what you want to say.. I am late..”
W know from now that K has always lie to herÂ… he did not went to RT at that timeÂ…. Where is he? W no longer have the heart to carry on Â… she dun want to think anymore.. she felt betray by someone she love deeply..
K went off by letting W alone in the streets wanderingÂ…
W hate K but she is still willing to let him go as she find that she was in the wrong in the first placeÂ…when they just got togetherÂ… what ever K do that would make here feel sad she would just suffer in silentÂ… she started to drink every nite.. glass by glass jar by jarÂ…
(At this part of the story W break down and cryÂ… while she is writing.. all the fresh back came back to her. Is it worth for a guy like him? She felt hurt once again deeply.. maybe she just could not forget what happen in the past..) -
W heart is really dead this time.... but guess is all destinies.. Whenever W wanted to give up on K Â… K would react differently.. it seem that he know everything in advanceÂ… when this happen W would find herself in loving him more then to hate Â…. But in love who would be able to measure between hate and love?
If god want to punish W she would let him do what ever he want but why must god make use of K to led W deeper?...... she did not went back to work that day as instruct by K..
W sat under his void deckÂ… she sat there thinking of K..
3 years plus of relationship… they have a lot of wonderful times together.. their honeymoon period.. the time when they always ride to JB.. .. “ W still remember there were once when they went JB with a group of friends.. W wanted to have durian very much at that point of time but K and friends does not have much cash left after the whole day.. moreover those durian were rather small and expensive..
W was rather disappointed .. but she manage to get it past after time.. but K did notÂ… he remember W want the durian very much.. he secretly squeeze out all his money and went to buy for WÂ…
K still remember the expression W had at that moment .. she was blushing when one of her friends say “ hey W… cant believe K… he would rather squeeze out all his money for something you want..!” W felt so warm at that time.. K too. He told W before .. whenever W is happy K would be happy… whenever W smile K would smile.. ( W smile when she think of all this but no matter what she would need to face it.) K did not call her as usual that night..
No words.. no action could describe how W felt.. no one would know how she feel.
No one ever affect her life so much.. she is willing to give up everything she had for K. so long as K is happy she will be happyÂ…
K? felt bad for screaming at W as wellÂ… he still love her but guess he has not really grown up to accept it yet. He would always tell W to grow up abit and to face the reality.. but sad to say . guess is K he himself who cant wake up.. he is some guys that he would always thought that he had been through a lot and is already a grown up person but every one would have their own definition of this word.. it was something that you cant compare.
W too.. Sensitive, too possessiveÂ… W and K come from totally different family background , they have total different in their likes and dun likesÂ….. but guess things would always happen in this way unlike poles would attract just like magnetÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â… K always wanted commitment from W but have K ever think for what he has done? K had hurt W too much.. too much for W to take it..
Once W ‘s sis was having house warming and they waited for K… till very late at nite…W know that on that day K actually have a BBQ section with the people in this forum .. W wanted badly for K to be with her but could not force him to do that.. .. K know that W wanted him to go badly… so he promise W in the end that he will go to her sis place… but K lie…..
Her family have been waiting for K till very late at night but there is still no sign of K.. W try calling K but he refused to pick up. W thought that K was too bz with his work to pick upÂ…but W was wrongÂ… K did went for the BBQÂ…
K finally pick up the callÂ… saying that he was still at work..( but there was female voice in there.. W know that K was lyingÂ…) W try very hard to bring herself back to tell her family to go homes firstÂ… W was trying so hard to act happy but it was just too difficut for her to do that.. she went downstair alone to hide away from her familyÂ…. Till all her family member went offÂ… W was still alone there waiting for KÂ… W was so stupidÂ…. K finally turn up at around 1 plusÂ… all the people have gone..
“ you were not at the office rite? You went to the BBQ.. why must you always lie to me?”
“ I tell you that is because I dun want you to wait… for me..”
“ stop being so self center! Dun always assume what you presume! Do you think that I would not wait for you even if you say that? Especially when I know that you lie…”
“ do you think I want to lie? If I dun lie you would be kicking a fuss out of it I just dun want you to spoil my mood!!!!!”
W went slient again.. K dun understand W at allÂ…Â…
Is only when W got slient K would start to realize that he was too hash who his wordÂ… all he would do by that time is too few sorry but to egoesi to say it out..
W wanted to break up but she just cant bring herself to say that outÂ… -
From time to time.. W just wanted to have some time with K.. but she didnÂ’t know that K does not think in this way anymoreÂ….. K just want time only for his friends..
W realize that when, K goes out with his friends very often and at the same time W would want to tag alone.. K would cook up all kinds of excuse to stop her from goingÂ…
K wanted to have W out with him but he just cant stand the way W would react. Whenever W was out with K or his friends,she would pull a long face if she dun like them. Or when she is hungry she would scream at k infront of his friendsÂ…. W forgotten that K also have his prideÂ…. W would always blame K for not being sensitive enough. Infect K has already done his best.. just that W mislook it.
K could never understand why W had become like this,W was not used to be like that, she would follow K wherever he go.. at that time W enjoy going out with his friends a lot.. guess K is right.. W had change.. as her job changeÂ…
On the side of W she find that some of KÂ’s friends were those ah bengÂ… W always wander if there would be that K has the ability to marry her one day?
In W mind, the more K mix with this kind of people the more he would not make it in life.. but all K want is just some friendsÂ… K too have lost a lot of friends because of W.. too.
K donÂ’t understand why W had to work so much Â… he didnÂ’t realize that W was just trying to get away with the hurt that K had given to her. Work is the only way to make herself forget about KÂ… about the hurtÂ… WÂ’s friends had suggest that she should give up and go onÂ… but W was too stubborn to listen.. to tell the truth is she was afraid of losing him to be around with her. She still believe that she had the ability to change the whole situation around.. She cant accept failure..
K too facing a lot of thingsÂ… he could not cope with his study.. he could not cope with his workÂ… he could not cope with our thingsÂ… he just cant get anything rite as W is always in his mindÂ… he would not dare to make decision.. he afraid that he would do something to upset her.. Moreover K know that W was a very sensitive person.
W and K love each other.. but have hurt each other too muchÂ… communication became a great barrier to them.. their friends donÂ’t understand why are they holding on to each other so tight when they both know that they are having problem with each other.
Parents, both of their parents wanted very much for them to get marry… K’s mother even walk up to W and say.. “ have you two think of getting marry? It has been so long.. I have discuss with his father … if you two really want to get marry we are willing to flock out all the money for you two.. we really hope to see you two get marry..”
W was a lost at wordÂ… she cant believe what she heard.. K had a great parents despite the fact that they use to force on K a lot.. but W had really gone far way out to help them till she herself find there is too much for her to handleÂ…. W still can remember where KÂ’s mother would sometime call her in the middle of the nite to ask where is KÂ… W know that his mother was just being worry but W was really tired as a result W would always have to cook up some story to lieÂ… she felt bad but guess it is the only wayÂ… as time goes by.. she find that she is just lying to everyone because of K.. W always wanted someone to take care of her and not the other way roundÂ… K could never understand how W had been through all these yearsÂ… -
Everyone notice that they are having great problem even WÂ’s familyÂ… but they are not willing to let go at allÂ…
1st of Sept 2001, W had gone over to Aust. For holidayÂ…with her familyÂ… she just want to relax herselfÂ…. The day when K send W to airport .there was a odd silent between them.. Although W was only going to be away for a week plus. Both of them stood there without say to each other, they would only look at each other. It seem to them that when W come back everything would changeÂ… they sense itÂ… W had promise to call K every nite when she get thereÂ… but she did not do it.. she was uncertain or I should say she is afraid that she would hear another gals voice in the back ground.. she miss him so muchÂ….
KÂ… in Singapore did not as well.. he seem to be restless without W around but on the other hand.. he felt more carefreeÂ…( they use to be together everyday..) K did not break his promise to W he waited every nite for W to call but the call never cameÂ….. as in the other side of the world where W is.. she was just too uncertain with a hurt heartÂ…
K started to lost interest in every thing that he is doing.. as he miss WÂ… he realize something about himselfÂ… he really cant get anything done with W around in his mindÂ… he message WÂ’s brother in law..( as W did not bring her hp along) the nite before W is back.
“Hi sorry I would like to check if W is coming back 2morro? As I would like to pick her up.. could I know what time would that be?”
W saw the message, she was happy yet worryÂ… what would happen when they meet? What is she going to say? What will he say? All the question float in WÂ’s mindÂ… she know that they would have to settle their problem no matter what Â…Â….
W was flight heading back to Singapore.. she miss K a lot a lot and was hopping that he was there.
K too hope that W was in that filght.. He miss her a lot.. too.. but both of them seem to know that there was something going to happen soonÂ…
W saw K the minutes she was out of the gate! K stretch out his hand to reach for W.. they were both hugging to each other tightly… till W’s sis call out to them.. everyone was looking at them thinking… ‘ it had only been for around 2 weeks and they are like gone forever..!’ they all laugh.. but in their heart ,they know things will never be the same again… that nite W went over to K’s house … they sleep in the comfort of each other arms… saying all those sweet love talk to each other… they really cant bear to leave each other.. and W thought that even if they would break up it will be her to spell out first…. “ I love you dear forever…” they fall asleep…. -
Things go well the following few daysÂ… but K and W was feeling miserable.. they cant talk to each other anymoreÂ… love had them blindÂ…. To keep them togetherÂ…
There was one niteÂ…. W call K in the middle of the nite.. as she miss K a lot.. wanted to talk to him.. she was over at her sis place. She told her sis very thing that happen from the beginning till nowÂ… W just want to find someone to talk toÂ…
“ helo, dear… you are still awake? I thought you say that you were sleeping?( W know that K lie to her again)”
“ dear I call you when I get home ok me eating now…” K just hang up the phone without waiting for W…
1 hours 2 hours had pass but he did not reply.. is already 3am.. W is still waiting for himÂ….
She call again… “ dear”
“ dear I told you already can I call you back when I get home!!!!!!!!” K stop her before she could even carry on… but W went on..
“ no dear you listen to me! I think we need to have a talk! I know I was in the wrong for cant forgetting the past and I always dun mean what I say…. But I promise you I will change.. why dun we start again? 4 years … it has been 4 years…”
K was keeping quiet all the way.. he is that kind of person that would not speak up his mind and would blame you later on for not asking him.. but when people ask he would find them irritatingÂ… sometime W really duno what is K thinking aboutÂ…
“ dear I will call you when I reach home…”this was the only word that K say….before hanging up on her…
W waited the whole nite till 5 am when K finally message ‘gd nite,I love you’ W felt relief when she see that but was too tired to respone and fall asleep…
It was a sunny morning but is a day where W wanted to forget but she cant …. That very next morning… W and her sis was going to work…In the MRT….. ‘peep peep’
You got one message receive.. “ -
Dear, I have been thinking the whole nite.. I think I want to break with you. Please forgive me.. I just canÂ’t concentrate on whatever I do with you around.. you affect me a lot.. I canÂ’t concentrate on my work, my study, and even when I am driving.
Please do not call me.. I can’t bear to hear you cry.. Trust me I still love you but I just want to do my things on my own. I need time to settle down… but I duno when.. would that be.. take care.”
W has lost her sense of directionÂ… she was stun.. she wanted to rush to KÂ’s place but instead of leaving.. WÂ’s sis had try to pull her back.. W struggle Â…. WÂ’s sis left with no choiceÂ… she slap WÂ…
W stopÂ…. She did not cry but .. It was totally blank in her mindÂ… she felt so hurt as if a knife was going through her heart.. K could never imagine what was W like that day.. It was as if she has gone to hell.. WÂ’s sis was trying her best to calm W down..
“Hey you see! Since he wanted sometime to cool down let him be… you talk to me about him yest. And you say that you were willing to let go.. so what are you now?” W’s sis was shouting at her.. W keep quiet all the way.. she was lost.. She could not accept was she had seemed…
WÂ’s sis wanted W to go to work and they will meet in the nite.. before she left..
W was lost.. she went to her work place.. but through out she was as stone as a rock.. She could not do anything. She wanted so much to cry but she cantÂ… she smoke, one stick after another she decided she cant just let it go in this way.. she call K..
She try time after time.. But K refuse to pick up.. In W’s mind what she left was “why? Why does he want to do this to me? Don’t he say he love me? Why is he hurting me now?” W dun understand why few weeks back.. They have a talk … W wanted to break up at that time but K was begging her not to.
W wander around in orchard blindlyÂ… she sat down outside park mallÂ…. In the rainÂ… she wanted to ask K a questionÂ… she send a message to KÂ…
“Do you still love me?” W only hopes was that K would reply her last message..
“ I do.. I still love you as much..” K replies….
It had smoothened W heart although it might not mean anything anymoreÂ…
“ I love you too.. I am willing to wait till you come back to me…”
K did not reply anymoreÂ…Â…Â… -
W was all wetÂ… in the rain, she remember that time when they were caught in the rain .. and was force to hide under a bus stop, full of the following days new paperÂ… they were so cold that they use those news paper to cover them .. while K was hugging K.. It was so warm.. They promise each other at that time not to let go of each other even if one day there would be storm and thunder in Singapore..
But what W had now is all memories Â… all seem to have disappeared within 2 hoursÂ…
In that 2 hours.. K was sad tooÂ… he engross himself with all his work. He could not get W out of his mind. The woman he love and wanted to spend his whole life withÂ…
He would not be able to think what is he going to become , life without herÂ… everything is in his mindÂ…
Both of them.. Missing and loving each other but Â…Â…..
W thought that all these things only happen in show?movies? Never thought that it is happening to herÂ…
WÂ’s sis was really worry to see her in this states.. what they could do now is to accompany her..
W took a 3 days leave.. She just wants to be alone.. She had shifted over to her sisterÂ’s place.. Somewhere, where no one could reach her, no one would know her,Â… she could hide thereÂ… aloneÂ…(to avoid her parents from asking too)
W has a very strong character, she would not cry infront of othersÂ… no matter how unhappy she is, she would still carry on. Consider her past it had been hard for her, no one knows about her past.. a hidden past that haunt her for life.. her family never knows what has happen till her.. till that very moment she break down and cryÂ…
W told her whole family what had happen to her in the past.. why does she hate guys so muchÂ… and how they have neglect her in the past.
No one would believe that at such a young age,W would have gone through things which was not meant to be..
She keep everything to herself as she dun wants anyone to worry for her.. all the way till now W plan everthing,good or bad.. by herself.. no one is there to guide her along till K comes along.. She really depends a lot on K.. All along she would really hope that someone would be able to guide her alongÂ… But K could never understand what has W gone throughÂ… she is tired very tired..
K would always tell W that him too, has been through a lotÂ… but he is still as strong.. It had never come across his mind that W was not as strong as everyone thinkÂ…
Wherever W ask advise from K, he would only tell her that he could only give advise but not to make a decision for her.. and he would just keep quite and walk awayÂ… But what W need was advice and not lecher for something she did not ask for..
W really fall this time Â… in the past W lost almost all her friend because of K , she change all for K.. but now she has lost K, which is her everythingÂ…
She had lost a 4 years of relationships over niteÂ….
What was W going to do? K had left her without any reasonÂ… K was really to heartless.. this was the first time they break upÂ… they have never never parted each other before.. why would K bear to do this..?
W wanted very much to talk to K face to face but she know that K would never want that. He could not face WÂ…. he was a cowardÂ….
As he knows that he wun be able to let go,if he would see her againÂ…
Why must two person whom truly love each other to end up in this wayÂ…Â….?
WhyÂ…Â… -
W was so depress.. she know that K would not be back anymoreÂ… she went home..
Pack up everything that K left at her place..(K often stay at W place. Therefore he has most of the things there.)
Bit by bit pick up his things. Tears were rolling down profuselyÂ… her family left her alone in the room packingÂ… W just need to be alone..
Every of KÂ’s things had is own history behind.. , a racing jacket which spent KÂ’s whole months salaryÂ… a birthday card which K had spend the whole nite doingÂ…
All the past came back to W again.. she spent the whole nite packing.. While her whole family wait for her..
W did not sleep the whole nite Â… she was thinking what would her be, without K, how is she going to leave onÂ… she fall asleep without knowingÂ…
She saw K that niteÂ… but she lost him again when she wake upÂ….
For the past 2 days.. W had been crying in the day and nite.. there is one morning..when she wake up crying, her 3 year old nieces walk over to her ..
“Aunty ... why are you crying? (W did not reply..) oh.. I know why.. like lor.. I also wake up crying this morning.. I had a bad dream.. so you too! Bad dream!”
somehow at this time W look up and saw her sis standing outside the door,with her tears droppingÂ… (at that point of time W knew that how much her family member care for her.., how worry they are..)
W sat by the swimming pool the whole day.. she had been thinkingÂ…it was just a dream.. a nightmare (what her niece say had node some sense into her.) she would not fall without K.. if K wants to leave even if W begged or commits suicide K would not come backÂ… she was tired of thinking about K.. without K around life would have to go onÂ… she will be able to stand up again! She willÂ…
W had always been so strong.. perhaps.. is not that she cant give up on K is just that she cant accept the fact that it was K who initiate the breakÂ… it never come to her mind that it was K who leave her..
K had love W too much but he never give her a chance to love him backÂ….
People say that time would heals everything.. this is was what W hope now.. -
brb!~~!~!~
-
i give up :p
------------------
ThEsE wOrDs YoU SaId lAsT NigHt
SeEmEd hArMlEsS LikE a ChILd'S SmILe
BuT dId YoU kNoW It StUng My EvErY nErVe?
ShAtTeReD mY PrIde,
LeFt mE ScArReD
i MiGhT nEvEr bE tHe sAmE aGaiN
fOr tHeSe wOrDs YoU sAiD
aRe fOrEvEr eNgrAvEd
LiKe A MemORy CuRtAin
DraWn aCrOSs ReaSons
bUt YOU--- ReMEmBeR
I WoUld SuRviVe -
Hi Monster,
I m really touched by the story that u posted... can u continue posting it? Or can u email to my email address? Thanks
-
I want to cry already,please email me the story.Originally posted by autumn:Hi Monster,
I m really touched by the story that u posted... can u continue posting it? Or can u email to my email address? Thanks -
hey i thot u say u brb?? quick post leh.. i read till my eyes gona kuku liao, but then the last post of this story really touched me.. i mean W's family is really supportive..Originally posted by MoNsTer:brb!~~!~!~
n it's obvious that W is the writer.. haha.. -
-
Are u a photographer .Originally posted by Wes Brown:
Alway have all this photo -
2 days passÂ… W had not have the courage to meet up with her friends who had been looking for herÂ…. W had accepted the fact that K wanted to go but she canÂ’t overcome the fear in her Â…Â…
W had arranged an appointment with her doctor on the third dayÂ… W had always have problem with her health even when she was with K.. . She had been to many doctor which tell her the same thingsÂ… that is she had some kind of virus in her which might cause her to lose the ability of giving birthÂ…
She had quarrel a lot with K in the past regarding thisÂ… as K was more to worry about her health then to give birthÂ… but it matters a lot to W, she wanted to have a child with K. The first time when W went to see a doctor, she was really shockÂ… especially when the doctor tell her that she might has some virus in her that she would not be able to give birth. In the first place she thought that it was K who past it to her.. but guess she was wrong.. According to the doctor that it has been in there since last time is just that it did not surfaceÂ…
W blame herself for doing unfaithful things to K.. she blame herselfÂ…. For a fun, a thrill, and to revenge on guysÂ… that had cause her to be in this stageÂ… she didnÂ’t know how to relate it to K.. she was so afraid that K would mind and leave herÂ…
She was alone with guilt in her heart, she start to avoid K.. however she didnÂ’t know that K was really worry about her.. K had been trying to look for her but Â….to no avail. K presumes that W no longer want himÂ… each day he would hide himself in his roomÂ…
Till the day where W appear which was 2 weeks later.. she decide to pluck up her courage to tell KÂ… She call up to KÂ…
“Dear.. I am sorry for disappearing for so long.. I..”
“Stop! I would not want to listen! When you feel like being alone you would just disappeared. Have you ever think of me? Fine since you want to do this.. I will let you be … I want to be alone now… could you just leave me alone? You wun rite/ you will come and look for me… what do you want….!!!!!!”
“no dear.. please listen to me! I just want to say something to you.. and I will leave!”
Without any response K slam down the phone..
K was really hurt by W and he felt hurt tooÂ… He was so afraid that what W wanted to say was to break up with himÂ…
W rush over to K’s house but she was 5second late.. she saw K ride off infront of her… ‘why cant he listen to me….’ ‘ if only K would listen….
W went up to his place to place a note on his table, explaining what had happen to her and to apologizeÂ… she went home ..
Even at home.. she cant get to sleep.. she was waiting for K to call but he did notÂ… W had been trying to contact all his friend for his whereabouts .. no one know where is KÂ…. finally W manage to get to K at 4 amÂ…. But K refuse to speakÂ… W had no choice but to look for him at his placeÂ…
In the cab.. W had prepare herself that K might wanted a break up.. she just want an answerÂ….
W was at K doorstep.. K was there .. he pull W to him when he saw her..
“dear.. I don’t care what had happen in the past. I can dun have a child but I cant lost you! I want only our future.. do you understand?!” -
She thought of all this went she was on the way there.. The doctor wanted her to go through a 3 months treatment to cure what was there. How she would wish that K was there to accompany her.. but it was just a thought that she feel it will never happen againÂ….
W could no longer concentrate on her work anymore.. moreover she had to go for her injection every day and all the medicine made her feel very sick.. She could not take it anymore.. she quitÂ….
Guess all the people might be thinking that W is very foolish for being like thisÂ… with all the sleepless nite,Â…. Because of K.. but only she would understand where actually K stand in her heart.. W too have to be responsible for having their relationship.
W and KÂ… two true love Â…. Parted with their heart loving each other for the pressure around them.. since they feel so much for each other why cant they save the situation with their love? No one would knowÂ….
Day by day passÂ… WÂ’s family have been doing their best to get W up againÂ…although they know that W, on surface seem to get over it but deep in her heart Â…. Is still bleedingÂ…
But one thing for sure.. W had to leave the world of K.. She wanted so much to talk to someone who understands herÂ… but she had no courage to tell any of her friends..
There was a nite where W really miss K so much.. but she cant call him.. Instead she decide to call one of her friends.. Vivian.. one of her very close friendsÂ…
Without a second thought she came down to WÂ’s placeÂ…
“Vivien… I am sorry to ask you out in this kind of time..(12 am) but I guess I really need to talk.. K… break up with me..( tears start to roll down from her cheeks…)
I was lost.. I dun want him to go.. tell me how? How can I get him back. I feel so sad for making everyone life so miserable.. I dun mean to..
And I have told my family about all my shameful past.. and guess what, they cry… they realize how much they have neglect me in the past.. I feel so bad for letting them down.. I was so useless!!!!! ( she could not control herslf anymore.) and I was having injection every day.. I am really stress out… why am I always in such a mess?what should I do now?” -
Vivien lint over to her Â… ( she was hugging W)
“ I am so sorry to hear that… I have been thought this.. I know how you would feel.(her boyfriend had left her once last time within their 6 years of relationship for another gal..) but this is the time where you have to really pick yourself up..
you might have lost the whole world but you still have me as a friend.. who will always be here for you..( she started to cry as well, it hurts her for seeing W in this way.. among all the friends W suppose to be the stronger type of gals..)
do you know how I feel when my boyfriend tell me directly in the face that he wont patch back with me no matter whatÂ…! You know that Â… he did come back to me in the end.. but now I had regrettedÂ… dun be like me.. K will come back to youÂ…he will trust me.. give him sometime to cool down.. he love you.. how you feel now is how he is feeling as well.. guess he is still in a dazeÂ… by that time if he really come back you would have to decide would you go back to him after all that he had done to you.
Please do not do anything to hurt yourself… it will hurt me to see you in this stage…. Remember even if he is not back… then is time to pull yourself up! You could leave without him… verbally you say that you duno what to do but deep in your heart you know exactly what to do.. dun lie to yourself.. remember this is what you use to tell me..”
What she say had really got over WÂ’s mind.. W start to think.. all along why does their relationship fall into this.. W realize that K always want her to do things for herself and not for him.. W depend on K too much.. and K had no confident to take of W yetÂ… W had been too sensitive, too demanding, too possessive.. and she should not carry like this.. to her by doing that prove that she love K a lot, wanted attention from him.. to KÂ… he felt too pressuring to be with her.. he might not be able to give W what she needed instead he might hurt her.. -
W wanted K to know that she love him too much to let him goÂ… she want K to be what he want to be.. W massage K.
‘True love never run smooth. Some people might not even find true love in their entire life.’ It was the first message after the break up.. she never got a reply, however she never wanted a reply.. she just want K to know that he was W true love..
This prove that love is not the only thing that would make a relationship work.. there is much more to it. Trust, faith, communication, how to cope with each other feelingÂ… -
W still miss K but it was only miss.. she would think of what K is doing now.. days of the week where W and K would meet up.. the hardest days was Friday the day where they only leave in each other world.
On the radio there is always this song..
Our last kiss carried
The flower of tobacco
It was a bitter and cruel smell
About this time tomorrow
I wonder where would you be
Who will you be thinking of
You will always gonna be my love
Even if I fall in love with someone else someday
IÂ’ll remember to love
You taught me how
You will always gonna be the one
Now I still sing a sad love song
Until I can sing a new song
The moment that stood still
Seem to be trying to move
But I donÂ’t want to miss anything
About this time tomorrow
I will definitely be crying
Who will you be thinking of
You will always be inside my heart because there is always a place for just you
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one in my heart
Now and foreverÂ…Â…. -
W start to climb out of her own caveÂ… own graveyard.. she wanted to do things which she would not even think of doingÂ…in the past.
She started to exercise more often.. it was too ease her mind against K.. She use to afraid of swimming, she wanted to give it a try ... now.... and she had prove that she could make itÂ… every Friday, W would meet up with Vivien and company to swim, jogged, badminton and most of the time they would sit at a place talk about their lifeÂ… W had recover under companys and comfort of her friends and family.. ( most of these time W would be at home, she is afraid that certain things and place would remind her of K..)The only place she had been out was to church. And every time she prays, she would pray for K as wellÂ… every niteÂ…
Her friend had found her a job .. it was to deal with computer.. it use to be what W hate most because K would spend most of his time with it.. But W know that she would need a job at the moment and she must forget K, get on with her life..
She had begin to get on with her lifeÂ…. But at this point of time when she just learnt to go on without K.. she got a message from K Â….
‘ if someone cant love you the way you want them to be does not mean that the person dun love you with all he has…’
It was the first message that K send after months of break up..
All her memories came backÂ… she dream of K hugging to a gal but when she call out for K, the gal he is hugging is unknown. She wake up in the middle of the nite looking up the sky.. could not imagine if that really happen in real lifeÂ…
W had wanted to go over his place to pick up her things but she was afraid that when she go in, she might find another gal sleeping on his bedÂ… and that their portrait photo would be replace by other gals.. W know that she wun be able to take it.
W could not believe what she had see.. it was K but to W .. she hate K.. from the message W presume that K have shift all the blame her..
Feelings for K got even woset. She hate K deeply.. why must K always react in this way.. he always think that he is rite and could never see eye to eye with W..
W could not be bother with his message. The most important for W now is not to hold on to the past but to move forward and forget about him.. W would use her own past to compareÂ… she had suffer something much more then thisÂ… since K is heartless enough to break up this relationship, so why should she tied up her whole life for him.. to W is k having another gal out there no longer mattersÂ… just pray that she would not meet them in the middle of the streetsÂ…
1 month laterÂ…Â…Â…Â….. -
Finally! W had come to term with herself.. she had manage to control herself and would start to live a life of her ownÂ…. Getting back her old palsÂ…
W always have a strong will of living.. Maybe this is the reason why K would have break up so easily as he know that W would be able to get over it fastÂ…
Love for K would forever be loved just that when the love is no longer with youÂ… meaning is time to let goÂ… Love is about wanting the other party to be happy.,.. and not to have that personÂ…
W did not let everyone down.. she pick herself up very fast.. she is going to lead her own life now.. she has manage to let go of K.. the reason is she love K too much to let him go.. But K will always have a place in WÂ’s heart. If K never come back, at least W will still remember how K is likeÂ… she no longer hate him as well. Hate is love.. she is tired of loving him already.. loving K is such a heavy loadÂ…
Day went by fast.. if W were to say that she never think of K within this period of time she is lying but she would be able to face the factÂ…Â…. she deep herself in the pool whenever she think of KÂ…
Something interrupted the class while she was teaching..
“ hi! Wxxx how are you? ( it was W pals..) ah… did K call you? I am still contacting with him.. he was feeling down the day he break up with you… so I thought that he would come back for you.”
WÂ’s heart was aching but at the same time she had a kind of feeling which she cant explain.. K too was feeling down at the other side..