sad
-
I find no excuse to change the date as that is the date of our anniversary.Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:Talk to your boyfriend about it. See if you two can reach a compromise about going to ROM at a later date. Both of you must be able to think clearly about this issue.
sad.
really sad
I think I better stop liking A, and get married peacefully. Anyway if suffer, i am the only one suffering. Since i can endure for 5yrs... I think can do it for the rest of my life.. juz hope that i will not appear in the news that I am another mother dragging my kids to jump off the building in the years to come.
Crying sadly... -
Originally posted by nici:
I wouldn't tell what you should do, as the decision ultimately lies in you. Just remember that you shouldn't make a decision hastily, and most, if not all factors have to be thought through carefully and considered thoroughly.
[quote]Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:
[b]
[b]Age shouldn't force you to reach a decision, unless you want kids.
That's the problem, because I do not want to be an old mother
Even then, there are still some issues which still haven't been addressed.
Quite alot, which we just keep mum and never brought them up again.
What if you and current boyfriend decides to divorce if there are too many fights? Who will look after the kids? **Sobbsobsob, i don't know
What if you decide to go with A and it does not work out?
This is what I am afraid of
There are too many questions to consider, both before and after, and both for your current boyfriend and A.
Yah, that's true. Too many factors to consider.
I really want to Thank you all for your advices.
Though in the end it's up to me to make a decision, but at least I have found a right avenue to voice out my sorrows. & receives many feedbacks (like my inner voices) to help me sort out my feelings better because now I am really confused and in a dilemma.
Now i m online chatting with A. I feel bad and guilty but i cannot help it. But our chats are very casual ones, nothing mushy or intimate.[/b] -
If i like A silently in my heart, at least that will not inflict any pain on my SO nor A.
Because A and I did not even start off at all.
We merely know that in our hearts, we feel something for each other.
I told him not to be concern abt me out of sympathy.
And I did encourage him to find an ideal partner.
How should i treat A now? Why life is always so miserable for me. -
June's gone this year, doesn't mean that there will be no June next year or in the future.Originally posted by nici:I find no excuse to change the date as that is the date of our anniversary.
sad. really sad
I think I better stop liking A, and get married peacefully. Anyway if suffer, i am the only one suffering. Since i can endure for 5yrs... I think can do it for the rest of my life.. juz hope that i will not appear in the news that I am another mother dragging my kids to jump off the building in the years to come.
Crying sadly...
It's not like 29 February, which comes every four years. If you and current boyfriend can make improvements within a year, why not? Both of you will be happy.
-
nici...it's true that this A guy is attentive to you all and such, but that doesn't necessary determines that he is the "one" for you. You probably took A guy as a replacement for your bf cos he is giving you the care and concern that you have desired for in your bf, unfortunately your bf doesn't give you that attention anymore. But it doesn't means that your bf doesn't love you. Should you choose to be with A guy, imagine life with him in another 5 more years and you will see that A guy has become another shadow of your current bf.
You have been together with your bf for 5 years already and both of you are already making plans for marriage. Do consider this, attractions for each other won't hold both of you together for 5 years. The "getting used" to that you've mentioned is the love that both of you have build over the last 5 years together.
Try to recollect what both of you have been through for the past 5 years, including all the happy and unhappy moments. If I were in your position, I would've been very touched and such too. However, what kind of man do you really need? Please remember that your ex-colleague A is still very much a stranger to you cos both of you don't spend as much time together as you and your bf. Do you need a man who can cater to you like a butler? Or do you need a man who can stick with you for 5 years and yet still wanna marry you and spend a lifetime with you. What kind of force would make a man do all that if it isn't love?
Despite his temper and such, which boring guy in this world doesn't have a temper? Think not having a temper is equivalent of not having a personality too, wouldn't it be boring? Being pleased 24x7 will eventually makes that guy seems really irritating to you too, have you thought of that too?
Ultimately it is still your decision to make regarding this issue. But I would like to assure you that once the magic is gone, this kind of perfect gentlemen's behaviour will eventually irritates you in no time. So I truly hope that you will think through it before you make your decision and live it without regrets.
Good luck.
-
I think that sentence alone already has the answer to your problem? In a nutshell, put off any marriage plans for the time being until you have straightened your thoughts. Quite simply, nobody should ever marry anyone for whom he/she has the slightest reservations.Originally posted by nici:I know very well that now I am unfit to make any decisions because my mind is not clear.... but there is not much time left. -
If you do have some feelings for him, don't go against it. The more resistance you show, the deeper you fall. Spend a few days thinking it through, whether your feelings for him is just infatuation or are you really for him.Originally posted by nici:If i like A silently in my heart, at least that will not inflict any pain on my SO nor A.
Because A and I did not even start off at all.
We merely know that in our hearts, we feel something for each other.
I told him not to be concern abt me out of sympathy.
And I did encourage him to find an ideal partner.
How should i treat A now? Why life is always so miserable for me. -
wah seh....good..Originally posted by parn:nici...it's true that this A guy is attentive to you all and such, but that doesn't necessary determines that he is the "one" for you. You probably took A guy as a replacement for your bf cos he is giving you the care and concern that you have desired for in your bf, unfortunately your bf doesn't give you that attention anymore. But it doesn't means that your bf doesn't love you. Should you choose to be with A guy, imagine life with him in another 5 more years and you will see that A guy has become another shadow of your current bf.
You have been together with your bf for 5 years already and both of you are already making plans for marriage. Do consider this, attractions for each other won't hold both of you together for 5 years. The "getting used" to that you've mentioned is the love that both of you have build over the last 5 years together.
Try to recollect what both of you have been through for the past 5 years, including all the happy and unhappy moments. If I were in your position, I would've been very touched and such too. However, what kind of man do you really need? Please remember that your ex-colleague A is still very much a stranger to you cos both of you don't spend as much time together as you and your bf. Do you need a man who can cater to you like a butler? Or do you need a man who can stick with you for 5 years and yet still wanna marry you and spend a lifetime with you. What kind of force would make a man do all that if it isn't love?
Despite his temper and such, which boring guy in this world doesn't have a temper? Think not having a temper is equivalent of not having a personality too, wouldn't it be boring? Being pleased 24x7 will eventually makes that guy seems really irritating to you too, have you thought of that too?
Ultimately it is still your decision to make regarding this issue. But I would like to assure you that once the magic is gone, this kind of perfect gentlemen's behaviour will eventually irritates you in no time. So I truly hope that you will think through it before you make your decision and live it without regrets.
Good luck.
-
Originally posted by dcx:Then what's wrong? Nothing's wrong.........isn't it just normal friends chit chatting? haha u really makes me laugh for the slightest moment.
Yah, it's nothing wrong, but i never do that for the past 5yrs you know. Never! The only guys I ever talk to is my colleagues, my SO frens, my family (count those food court uncles out.
) -
Consider you're 29, 30 yrs old this year....what's the past 5yrs compared to the past 20yrs+++ above the recent 5yrs of the things which you'ev done?Originally posted by nici: haha u really makes me laugh for the slightest moment.
Yah, it's nothing wrong, but i never do that for the past 5yrs you know. Never! The only guys I ever talk to is my colleagues, my SO frens, my family (count those food court uncles out. )
Btw, don't you have any friends? I mean, own friends..... -
That's good. Cheer up!Originally posted by nici: haha u really makes me laugh for the slightest moment.
Yah, it's nothing wrong, but i never do that for the past 5yrs you know. Never! The only guys I ever talk to is my colleagues, my SO frens, my family (count those food court uncles out. ) -
Wah..... you even know her age.Originally posted by dcx:Consider you're 29, 30 yrs old this year....what's the past 5yrs compared to the past 20yrs+++ above the recent 5yrs of the things which you'ev done?
Btw, don't you have any friends? I mean, own friends..... -
Out of curiousity, are you A guy?Originally posted by nici:If i like A silently in my heart, at least that will not inflict any pain on my SO nor A.
Because A and I did not even start off at all.
We merely know that in our hearts, we feel something for each other.
I told him not to be concern abt me out of sympathy.
And I did encourage him to find an ideal partner.
How should i treat A now? Why life is always so miserable for me.
Cos really seldom a women in this situation will whine like a guy who cannot get his women.
Care to share some happy moments that you've shared with your bf here? -
Thanks so much... u really figured out what's on my mine right now.Originally posted by parn:nici...it's true that this A guy is attentive to you all and such, but that doesn't necessary determines that he is the "one" for you. You probably took A guy as a replacement for your bf cos he is giving you the care and concern that you have desired for in your bf, unfortunately your bf doesn't give you that attention anymore. But it doesn't means that your bf doesn't love you. Should you choose to be with A guy, imagine life with him in another 5 more years and you will see that A guy has become another shadow of your current bf.
You have been together with your bf for 5 years already and both of you are already making plans for marriage. Do consider this, attractions for each other won't hold both of you together for 5 years. The "getting used" to that you've mentioned is the love that both of you have build over the last 5 years together.
Try to recollect what both of you have been through for the past 5 years, including all the happy and unhappy moments. If I were in your position, I would've been very touched and such too. However, what kind of man do you really need? Please remember that your ex-colleague A is still very much a stranger to you cos both of you don't spend as much time together as you and your bf. Do you need a man who can cater to you like a butler? Or do you need a man who can stick with you for 5 years and yet still wanna marry you and spend a lifetime with you. What kind of force would make a man do all that if it isn't love?
Despite his temper and such, which boring guy in this world doesn't have a temper? Think not having a temper is equivalent of not having a personality too, wouldn't it be boring? Being pleased 24x7 will eventually makes that guy seems really irritating to you too, have you thought of that too?
Ultimately it is still your decision to make regarding this issue. But I would like to assure you that once the magic is gone, this kind of perfect gentlemen's behaviour will eventually irritates you in no time. So I truly hope that you will think through it before you make your decision and live it without regrets.
Good luck.
That is why I reluctant to let go my SO.
I feel so much better. -
Fierce, right??? hurhurhur~~~~~Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:Wah..... you even know her age.
I also know yours.........scared-ed or not????
Actualli i no noe her age leh........ -
Sound like your current boyfriend is neglecting you. A is right, you should make decision because of you not him. Think about your relationship with this current boyfriend. If without A will you breakoff from him? If the answer is yes, then go ahead. If not you better think twice, A may not suit you. I think that's what worried A that's why he ask you to think for yourself.
-
My age is not even hidden.Originally posted by dcx:Fierce, right??? hurhurhur~~~~~
I also know yours.........scared-ed or not????
Actualli i no noe her age leh........
Don't know yet can say? Or you any pom the age one? -
Maybe this would helps.......Compromisation.......(think spewing is kolleck...not suze..)Originally posted by nici:Thanks so much... u really figured out what's on my mind right now.
That is why I reluctant to let go my SO.
I feel so much better. -
haha, no i m not guy A!! of coz!Originally posted by parn:Out of curiousity, are you A guy?
Cos really seldom a women in this situation will whine like a guy who cannot get his women.
Care to share some happy moments that you've shared with your bf here?
happy moments are when he talk to me nicely, wearing the type of clothes he prefers me to wear, went for holidays and ... duno -
I didn't say that your age is hidden wat...i said i also know your age.......hiakz..Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:My age is not even hidden.
Don't know yet can say? Or you any pom the age one?
Feeling~~~~ I feel her age leh.....fierce or not???? hurhurhur~~~
hiak hiak hiak~~~ -
he WEARS the type of clothes he prefers you to wear?????!!!!!!!!Originally posted by nici:haha, no i m not guy A!! of coz!
happy moments are when he talk to me nicely, wearing the type of clothes he prefers me to wear, went for holidays and ... duno
-
Originally posted by dcx:
You know, can be through the profile.
I didn't say that your age is hidden wat...i said i also know your age.......hiakz..
Feeling~~~~ I [b]feel her age leh.....fierce or not???? hurhurhur~~~
hiak hiak hiak~~~[/b]
Very siong, can feel her age.... I wanna learn. -
Woah..... me a bit conservative when it comes to clothes, sorry, cannot help.Originally posted by nici:haha, no i m not guy A!! of coz!
happy moments are when he talk to me nicely, wearing the type of clothes he prefers me to wear, went for holidays and ... duno -
Why he wears? Not she wears meh?Originally posted by dcx:he WEARS the type of clothes he prefers you to wear?????!!!!!!!! 
-
Hehehe....ok...think it's not a bad idea to have a little getaway with your bf for a short while. Perhaps for a short trip overseas to feel closer again?Originally posted by nici:haha, no i m not guy A!! of coz!
happy moments are when he talk to me nicely, wearing the type of clothes he prefers me to wear, went for holidays and ... duno
Do observe the changes in A guy once you've made up your mind to stick with your bf again...especially after the short trip. And you would've thank yourself for not jumping onto the wrong guy.
You're fine now.