sad
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I only one post niah... Add all your posts together, maybe more 'long-winded' than me ley....??Originally posted by dcx:As usual...........the long-winded ones.......
Now awaiting for Yunhaier n McSquare -
SAW.Originally posted by dcx:See RED -
You're FUNNY... How ya ever know what's the 'right' decision and what's the 'wrong'...??Originally posted by parn:Aiyo...you all huai nan ren...she already make up her mind and you all ask her to change ROM date, tempt her further with more guys out there more suitable for her.....is this Aunt Agony forum or Potong Jalan forum?
Please help her!!! If she change her ROM date, both parents and her bf will sense something is not right and this action will bring her pre-marriage into an even greater turmoil than the existence of this A guy.
nici...read my post again if you start to have any doubts again. It will clear your doubts and put your mind back to the right state.
And stop posting irresponsible stuffs. Cos once she made the wrong decision, there is no turning back for her. Who is willing to take the responsibility to help her up again?
How many of you guys here can hold a relationship and love a girl for 5 years or more? If there is, then you should be able to understand the love and the efforts that both of them have put into this relationship. Isn't it kinda mean to destroy their love foundation with a few mere sentences to stir up some irresponsible feelings in another?
It may be fun to tease and flirt with her here, but please think of the severity of the outcome should she chooses wrongly. She's confused and that's why she came up here to post for advice. So please think of her as your best friend, sister, daughter and advice her accordingly rather than trying to put her soon-to-be-married relationship at risk.
THINK. -
Hmm... Sounds pretty bad... Should be a 'karmanic' relationship...?Originally posted by nici:As quoted in red above,
Sad to say, my SO did. That's why last year we broke up. He got himself involved with a married colleague whom has 2 kids and also other women from pubs and massage salons. A great mess... and alot of things.... like i mentoned in the 1st post.
But i fall in love with guy A is not taking a sort of revenge. It's just a very natural mutual feeling. let's put A out of the picture first.
Before A, i already lost confidence in my r/s because of the pain my SO has inflicted on my life. there's no securities but commitment. I agreed to marry him is because of the r/s built over the yrs and i told myself, no matter wat happens in future, i ve to close an eye. And I really nv thought of getting into any other form of r/s.....
Your relationship which you've chosen to step in and be SHAPED along with it, has caused your 'fate' for today.... All those just happened last year and you're going for the ROM this year with so much DOUBTS still within yourself...?
You're LOST. Like you're said, you're probably not even yourself anymore.... It probably would be ok if you never 'wake up' again in the future... Anymore problems in the future, just post here in AA and call it a day...?
What's your SO's horoscope?
It's difficult to explain to you... Or even to talk you out of it... Because it's a 'cage' you've so willingly placed yourself within... Based on your nature, this just really ain't quite you... But yes, there's an alternate saying.... The 'blindly no turning back' mode... I think you're on IT....
The reason why you're not pushing back the ROM date is not because you can't... It's because you're weak and unconvinced... Blind as I've said... Because you don't want to... What 'young mum'; anniversary with ROM; others' expectations etc. are just excuses you've made up for yourself SUBCONSCIOUSLY.... Because without them, you probably won't know how to bring yourself to the 'green light' of your ROM... The 'date line' is set and agreed by yourself so that you can quickly get things OVER with...
You've got a stubborn nature in a sense... And it would certainly be MOST degrading to yourself to ACCEPT that your DECISION to go on this relationship for 5 YEARS of your life... CHANGE YOURSELF and go into a 'no turning back' mode has been RETURNED with a 'HE BETRAYED ME' answer... The FACT that your move was quite a very wrong one...? NOPE. You CAN'T ACCEPT that. That's why you've rather CHOOSE to GO ON and even SUFFER in SILENCE if you have to....
But the fact is humans often make mistakes in their lives... Even devils do.... It's not just about being 'wrong' now, but the worse of scenerio would be to CONTINUE with that 'wrong' and bring it to a HIGHER LEVEL.... Do you have to live with that? Not if you can do away with your own ego...
And ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT to NOTE... If your SO knows that you're on ALL OUT on this 'no turning back' mode (which he should probably knows by now...), he can HOLD a KEY to the OUTCOMES to MANY THINGS to COME... Like you've mentioned about he being the DECISION MAKER MOST of the time... He can choose to RUN the SHOW the way he likes... And YOU can only blindly SURRENDER your FUTURE to him... For better or worse... And just what which of the 2 does it really seems to you for now...? You need not tell... But you should only see.... -
Originally posted by nici:
Hmm...you have certainly given Guy A alot of opportunities to sway you from your marriage. But fret not, there are alot of better guys out there who can easily replace Guy A, and that's the truth.
[quote]Originally posted by browniebaobao:
As the saying goes,
"Nan pa ru cuo hang, nv pa jia cuo lang".
I also think that you should not force yourself to go ahead with the ROM.
U are already showing signs of withdrawal liao.
U are still very young.
I know of ple who pator 7 yrs and still split.
If he's not the one u wana settle down with, dun force..
mian qiang shi bu hui you hao jie guo de.
[b]To me, marriage is a ONCE in a lifetime thing. You really have to be sure that u wana marry him bcos u wana spend the rest of ur life with him, and not bcos u feel that since u have been together for 5 yrs, it's time to tie the knot. Not bcos of kids etc. It's still very early to think about kids. Do not make this mistake. U will live to regret.
Guy A told me this too when I told him i m getting ROM.
Pardon me for saying this, he cheated you more than once. Dun you fear that he will cheat on u after marriage also?
Of course I am fearful of that, but hopefully he won't let me find out if he really did. I am very afraid to get hurt again. On the outside, I always act that I am very strong... that it's ok, tomorrow will be a better day. Only my girl buddies know that at heart I am weak.. Acting strong is to defend myself and not to let others worry. I dare to air out here is because I do not know anyone here in person. If not, I rather die than say. [/b]
Correct me if i'm wrong, but from your point of view...certainly you have already forgiven your bf long ago. So this is also not the problem as your bf is irreplacable by any guys...including Guy A.
So are you afraid or feeling insecure of getting married as in the marriage itself? Why did you agreed to the marriage in the first place?
The fact that you have agreed to marry your bf despite all that he have done in the past showed me that you still love him. You probably thought back about the past when you're restless and this instill some fears and uncertaincies in you.
You may want to move on and give your bf a real chance of repentent and observe how he is treating you at the moment. Do not think of marriage as the end of everything, there is always divorce should you really regret your decision in the future. However, should you decide to opt out of this marriage...you must understand that the decision must come from you and not from our advices. Bring your decision to your parents and let them be aware of your fears, worries and insecurities. And allow your parents to help you out of this marriage if you've became the unwilling party.
Do not delay your decision till every arrangements have been made...for the sake of the happiness of everyone who are important to you. -
U hit it.... hit on my weakness and vital points...oh ouch... it's painful.Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... Sounds pretty bad... Should be a 'karmanic' relationship...?
Your relationship which you've chosen to step in and be SHAPED along with it, has caused your 'fate' for today.... All those just happened last year and you're going for the ROM this year with so much DOUBTS still within yourself...?
You're LOST. Like you're said, you're probably not even yourself anymore.... It probably would be ok if you never 'wake up' again in the future... Anymore problems in the future, just post here in AA and call it a day...?
What's your SO's horoscope?
It's difficult to explain to you... Or even to talk you out of it... Because it's a 'cage' you've so willingly placed yourself within... Based on your nature, this just really ain't quite you... But yes, there's an alternate saying.... The 'blindly no turning back' mode... I think you're on IT....
The reason why you're not pushing back the ROM date is not because you can't... It's because you're weak and unconvinced... Blind as I've said... Because you don't want to... What 'young mum'; anniversary with ROM; others' expectations etc. are just excuses you've made up for yourself SUBCONSCIOUSLY.... Because without them, you probably won't know how to bring yourself to the 'green light' of your ROM... The 'date line' is set and agreed by yourself so that you can quickly get things OVER with...
You've got a stubborn nature in a sense... And it would certainly be MOST degrading to yourself to ACCEPT that your DECISION to go on this relationship for 5 YEARS of your life... CHANGE YOURSELF and go into a 'no turning back' mode has been RETURNED with a 'HE BETRAYED ME' answer... The FACT that your move was quite a very wrong one...? NOPE. You CAN'T ACCEPT that. That's why you've rather CHOOSE to GO ON and even SUFFER in SILENCE if you have to....
But the fact is humans often make mistakes in their lives... Even devils do.... It's not just about being 'wrong' now, but the worse of scenerio would be to CONTINUE with that 'wrong' and bring it to a HIGHER LEVEL.... Do you have to live with that? Not if you can do away with your own ego...
And ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT to NOTE... If your SO knows that you're on ALL OUT on this 'no turning back' mode (which he should probably knows by now...), he can HOLD a KEY to the OUTCOMES to MANY THINGS to COME... Like you've mentioned about he being the DECISION MAKER MOST of the time... He can choose to RUN the SHOW the way he likes... And YOU can only blindly SURRENDER your FUTURE to him... For better or worse... And just what which of the 2 does it really seems to you for now...? You need not tell... But you should only see....
That's really me, my life now.
Sighz.... I am actually a very optimistic person, and is not bad at advising others but come to my own r/s.... I always laugh in front of my buddies and tell them I am ok and not to worry. That's what I am , putting up a brave front all the time. BUT I AM NOT OKAY...... sadddddddd......
Very naturally whenever I think of guy A, I felt very happy, on all smiles...... feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach.. u know.... like now I am smiling, it's like sugar that sweetens my heart and brightens my day. But I know nobody can make me happy or sad unless I allow myself to.
As for my SO, everyday he's busy with work.... come back home eat, watch the news and sleep... I know it's common. Which couples aren't like that. It's just the lack of a little from everything.... and A comes along and replenish the emptiness. But A is not the type who urged me to break off or whatever. He just told me my SO shouldn't have beaten me up, that is real bad. He is sensitive, sensible and mature type. Of coz sometimes funny and chatty...
I shouldn't compare lah... they are 2 different cases. -
I could've been funnier and play along as everyone else acting really concerned but yet almost clueless on how I should advise her. I could've clicked elsewhere and ignore this post completely, but when I read all the advice that she've gotten...I felt really obliged to advise her based on what I've felt is best for her. Besides, it's up to her if she agrees with me or not and whether my advice make sense to her or not.Originally posted by Devil1976:You're FUNNY... How ya ever know what's the 'right' decision and what's the 'wrong'...??
Most important is that my advice get through her and she understands what I meant. I don't care if you guys weren't able to understand at all, cos you guys certainly aren't in the situation and you guys should know better how to help yourself too.
You said that I would not know what's the 'right' decision and the 'wrong' decision. Well, she would know it wouldn't she? So why don't you ask her if the advices are 'right' or 'wrong'?
I can only advise based on what she is willing to tell us. However, it is not the first time here that people in real agony have difficulty in expressing and relating their real agony to us. Nothing wrong if they have to withhold certain information to their disadvantage, I've decided that those information are secrets...and so be it.
I would advise her based on what she've decided for herself. Had she really wanted out of this marriage, she would've done so in her own ways and wouldn't need to post in here. She doesn't want out of this marriage, so what she've decided for herself is the 'right' decision in this case. If she really wanted out of this marriage, then we wouldn't be much of a help anyway wouldn't we? Afterall, we're strangers.
How would you have decided which is the 'right' and 'wrong' decision for her?
-
Sorry for the unhappiness and tension caused among u forumites.
To all: There's no right or wrongs.
Basically all of u are helping to put back the bits and pieces of my thoughts into the frame and let me see from many different aspects of life. The positives and negatives that enlightened my views which I have narrowed or rather too confused to think of.
Thanks alot for all your help, i wouldn't know what to do if i m alone. -
My goodness!Originally posted by Devil1976:I bet to difer? I think that's a debatable issue... What if that guy has a certain moral standard to follow...? He even advised her... That would seems more out of care and concern than anything (unless it's a REAL CLEVER cover up, which would also make no sense without any follow up...)....?
Even that 'A' guy is just out for himself, I see little reason why her ROM should even be stopping him....
I realised that i've was in both A and SO's shoe before. Quite sometime ago.
Hmm...what's new.
*MC walk away....trying to look for stars in the dark blue.* -
Errr....i take it that you don't want any further post from me.Originally posted by nici:Hi M©+square
Thanks so much for telling me these.
I will bear your kind suggestions and thoughts in mind..... 
MC Tio chided...but this is gentle.
*continue with the deep blue* -
Originally posted by nici:A sad thing in life is to meet someone who means a lot to u, only to find out in the end dat it was nv meant to be.... (edited... too long)
...He buys me lozenges everyday to soothen my coughs and is like shielding me from all dangers and difficulties. I can't help falling into it.
My last week at work, my bf was deployed for an overseas business trip for a week.
I meet up with A twice, for dinner and the other for supper.
Cuz i knew that we will never have the chance again.... when my bf is back.
He knew that I have a bf, and I told him abt my ROM, because I do not want to lead him on or to toyed with his feelings. He seemed shocked and distraughted.
In MSN, I confessed to him that I like him.. and it was terrible that instead of missing my bf whom at the point of time was abroad, my mind was preoccupied with A. I never thought that i will like another person other than my significant other, and moreover within such a such period of 2 months.
I knew I shouldn't fall in love with him, but I just can't help it.
A didn't make any confession until when i asked him through MSN, because, face to face, we avoided talking abt r/s....
Now, I or rather we are merely waiting for my ROM day to come.......
But from the scenarios as stated above, is A really interested in me? Or is it that I am over-sensitive... because my 5yrs r/s lacks of the care and concern since it's already 5yrs; most of the things my bf already take for granted. That's why I am so drawn towards A?
I am going abit crazy thinking of A and my present r/s. Should I get married for the sake of marrying or should I get free?
Maybe my feelings for A is an infatuation.........
But as what A advised me, if i were to make a decision, I am making it for myself and future. Not because of his existence... He even says that we may not be suitable. Is he backing off because he doesn't want to get involved in this mess?
But i can't stop thinking of him day and nite. The feeling is really undescribable.
Yes... yes... I have been summoned (but hey, better late than never).
***
Your Man You are so married to security that it is beginning the blur the lines that distinct between love and 'else-other-than-love'. You are a domestic woman, which love has taught you to stay behind the scene, love and be supportive of your man. You gave him all the freewill to do anything he wants (which is a good thing), but you should never compromise what you have given to him, by retrograding your principles and thoughts to fit him and create a distorted picture of Love (e.g. who hasn't cheated? - this is a extremely negative mindset to adopt).
He has cheated and repented, apparently. And you had forgave him as well. If it is one isolated case, fair enough. BUT...'...He got himself involved with a married colleague whom has 2 kids and also other women from pubs and massage....'
Counting the least possibility, that adds up to three separate women. Registering marriage this June? Do you think that a marriage will change your man?
You should never marry someone thinking that they will change; they won't.
***
Your Lover A is an example of possible benefic relationship (not necessary karmic). His appearance in your life is very straightforward:
I) He questioned the identity of your relationship and definition of your Love. Namely, would you be marrying for Love or Security.
II) He presents an alternative, in which your mind is beginning to see that it is possible to have a relationship with a man, vastly different from your current boyfriend (that your man is not exclusive and not-the-only-one)
III) CloUdiSm states we '...attract the qualities we exude...' - therefore when your esteem is bounded by his control, which signifies certain degree of inferiority, you will see yourself accepting, regardless, the mindless temper your boyfriend flares into. A presented a side which you thought it was loving and devoid of aggression.
You mentioned that all the pain your SO has inflicted upon you has greatly decimated your love for him and that you will close one eye no matter what happen in the future, which I presume it will include emotional abuses, which has spread regularly over the period of five years (CloUdiSm speaks about Boundary Regression - which is a long theory, but I won't have enough time and space for it)
The truth is that you are unwilling to make decision for yourself and rather circumstance make those difficult decisions.
NOBODY has the right to abuse you, even if he is your boyfriend/husband. And the emotional abuses are so brutal that it has caused you to abnegate your prerogative of Love.... your 'basis entitlement' of being loved and cared for, in exchange of a delusion perception of Love, saying that you must shoulder and accept everything negative about him, regardless.
This is crap.
You are in a 'Love business' and all that comes with the 'love business' must come, not just the negative side of Love.
***
Your Difficulty Your stultifying effort to make any decision to due to a phenomenon known to CloUdiSm as the Marpessa Complex.
In the Greek mythology, Marpessa was the more fortunate maiden beloved by Apollo, although she would have lived happily ever after with Idas, one of the heroes of the Calydonian Hunt and also one of the Argonauts, whom carried her off from her father with her consent.
Idas refuse to give up and dared to fight Apollo. In the end, Zeus parted them and told Marpessa to choose.
She chose the mortal, fearing, that the God would not be faithful to her.
You are like her; rather the evil you know than the evil you don't, for you rather chose a known wrecked relationship over an unknown utopia.
You are so rooted to the shores of your relationship, even though it has lost much meaning and you adjure the idea of leaving the island even you have the means to do so.
You are buying the ideology of 'security' and despite that you have invested so much, you are still unwilling to abandon your bad investment.
***
Your Voice You cannot step into a marriage when you have someone else occupying space within your heart, mind and soul.
And you cannot step into a marriage with the power of commitment minus Love.
Because this spells vehement karmic suffering.
Consider this:
I) Avoid accepting commitment/s that you are unsure of - namely marriage. It must be put to later date.
II) CloUdiSm second Law of Love (Law of Relationship Existence) states that '...No one can make us stay in a bad relationship except ourselves...' Learn that you are empowered to make decisions for your love life and quit letting circumstances make for you. If you must leave him, then do so and not subjected to emotional weakness.
III) IF you MUST communicate with him, then by all means do so. If you want to give a chance to this relationship, he must at least know what is happening before he could propose a viable solution to work things out between the both of you or see new reason/s why you should NOT remain in this relationship.
Cheers -
MC, erm...... I didn't say I don't want any further post from you neh. And i do not have the authority too, you have every right to comment or post your advices de.Originally posted by M©+square:Errr....i take it that you don't want any further post from me. MC Tio chided...but this is gentle.
*continue with the deep blue*
Thanks for being here ........ to knock some senses into me... from my dreams heehee -
No matter what.....it's a sure NO that a guy will to beat up a woman, let alone in a relationship.....
Frankly speaking.....i will say => u break up with him....yes....this's personal, for i cannot tolerate a guy beating up a woman....this's me....
For i can't see any reason what gives him the right to beat u up...if now he beats u, i don't ee why he can't beat u up in the future....
Breaking up with him doesn't means that you've to be with A.
It's all for yourself....
Ok..i'm pissed off, fed-up and all above said are my personal reactions and views... -
Nay... Don't worry... I'm not unhappy or under any tension at this point...Originally posted by nici:Sorry for the unhappiness and tension caused among u forumites.
To all: There's no right or wrongs.
Basically all of u are helping to put back the bits and pieces of my thoughts into the frame and let me see from many different aspects of life. The positives and negatives that enlightened my views which I have narrowed or rather too confused to think of.
Thanks alot for all your help, i wouldn't know what to do if i m alone. -
Actually, such things need not be surprising at all...?Originally posted by M©+square:My goodness!
I realised that i've was in both A and SO's shoe before. Quite sometime ago.
Hmm...what's new.
*MC walk away....trying to look for stars in the dark blue.* -
Originally posted by dcx:No matter what.....it's a sure NO that a guy will to beat up a woman, let alone in a relationship.....
Frankly speaking.....i will say => u break up with him....yes....this's personal, for i cannot tolerate a guy beating up a woman....this's me....
For i can't see any reason what gives him the right to beat u up...if now he beats u, i don't ee why he can't beat u up in the future....
Breaking up with him doesn't means that you've to be with A.
It's all for yourself....
Ok..i'm pissed off, fed-up and all above said are my personal reactions and views... PERSONAL, but making ALOT of F*CKING SENSE... " -
Sorry if you have to feel offended...Originally posted by parn:I could've been funnier and play along as everyone else acting really concerned but yet almost clueless on how I should advise her. I could've clicked elsewhere and ignore this post completely, but when I read all the advice that she've gotten...I felt really obliged to advise her based on what I've felt is best for her. Besides, it's up to her if she agrees with me or not and whether my advice make sense to her or not.
Most important is that my advice get through her and she understands what I meant. I don't care if you guys weren't able to understand at all, cos you guys certainly aren't in the situation and you guys should know better how to help yourself too.
You said that I would not know what's the 'right' decision and the 'wrong' decision. Well, she would know it wouldn't she? So why don't you ask her if the advices are 'right' or 'wrong'?
I can only advise based on what she is willing to tell us. However, it is not the first time here that people in real agony have difficulty in expressing and relating their real agony to us. Nothing wrong if they have to withhold certain information to their disadvantage, I've decided that those information are secrets...and so be it.
I would advise her based on what she've decided for herself. Had she really wanted out of this marriage, she would've done so in her own ways and wouldn't need to post in here. She doesn't want out of this marriage, so what she've decided for herself is the 'right' decision in this case. If she really wanted out of this marriage, then we wouldn't be much of a help anyway wouldn't we? Afterall, we're strangers.
How would you have decided which is the 'right' and 'wrong' decision for her? Though I've always try to respect most forumites' advices, but somehow I just can't help when one starts to belittle others' post and comments... And 'rightfully' self-claim one's own advice is the TRULY one....
Originally posted by parn:
Aiyo...you all huai nan ren...she already make up her mind and you all ask her to change ROM date, tempt her further with more guys out there more suitable for her.....is this Aunt Agony forum or Potong Jalan forum?
Please help her!!! If she change her ROM date, both parents and her bf will sense something is not right and this action will bring her pre-marriage into an even greater turmoil than the existence of this A guy.
nici...read my post again if you start to have any doubts again. It will clear your doubts and put your mind back to the right state.
And stop posting irresponsible stuffs. Cos once she made the wrong decision, there is no turning back for her. Who is willing to take the responsibility to help her up again?
How many of you guys here can hold a relationship and love a girl for 5 years or more? If there is, then you should be able to understand the love and the efforts that both of them have put into this relationship. Isn't it kinda mean to destroy their love foundation with a few mere sentences to stir up some irresponsible feelings in another?
It may be fun to tease and flirt with her here, but please think of the severity of the outcome should she chooses wrongly. She's confused and that's why she came up here to post for advice. So please think of her as your best friend, sister, daughter and advice her accordingly rather than trying to put her soon-to-be-married relationship at risk.
Though I have to admit that you've got your own valid grounds for your advices also, but pls also learn to RESPECT others' advices if you want the same form of respect from the others...
BUT STILL, your EFFORTS and SINCERITY is TRULY APPRECIATED in AA... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
-
Well... Much of what I could have said have already been said to you...Originally posted by nici:U hit it.... hit on my weakness and vital points...oh ouch... it's painful.
That's really me, my life now.
Sighz.... I am actually a very optimistic person, and is not bad at advising others but come to my own r/s.... I always laugh in front of my buddies and tell them I am ok and not to worry. That's what I am , putting up a brave front all the time. BUT I AM NOT OKAY...... sadddddddd......
Very naturally whenever I think of guy A, I felt very happy, on all smiles...... feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach.. u know.... like now I am smiling, it's like sugar that sweetens my heart and brightens my day. But I know nobody can make me happy or sad unless I allow myself to.
As for my SO, everyday he's busy with work.... come back home eat, watch the news and sleep... I know it's common. Which couples aren't like that. It's just the lack of a little from everything.... and A comes along and replenish the emptiness. But A is not the type who urged me to break off or whatever. He just told me my SO shouldn't have beaten me up, that is real bad. He is sensitive, sensible and mature type. Of coz sometimes funny and chatty...
I shouldn't compare lah... they are 2 different cases.
It's all up to you now...
To RESIGN to 'FATE' which would probably lies MAINLY in HIS HANDS, and LIVE LIFE the way IT IS NOW... Not really being your 'break free' self but a submissive form... Only to either TOLERATE things when they go wrong or FACE REAL SH|T and try to do something about life when it goes TOTALLY OUT OF HAND for you....
OR
BREAK FREE and DECIDES where you would like to go from there... Find a better guy for youself if you can, if not...? I think it still BEATS being MARRIED and STUCK to someone who probably won't appreciate you much of any bits...
HAVING A STEADY BF SETTLE DOWN WITH HIM MARRIAGE is no longer the NORM nowadays... Not that I have anything against that, but you need not be living YOUR LIFE people EXPECT you to... BECAUSE END OF THE DAY, you'll be the one STUCK with YOUR OWN LIFE... NOT THEM....
You're still PRETTY YOUNG... RESPECT YOURSELF by RESPECTING YOUR LIFE... RESPECT YOUR LIFE by MAKING DECISION which you can RESPECT.... -
Originally posted by Devil1976: PERSONAL, but making ALOT of F*CKING SENSE... "
I like your "F*CKING" sentence above...
hMz...am i intruding too much into threadstarter's personal mind/problem??? If so, tell me so that i TRY not to be....... -
Yeah~~ That's right~!!!! *Fully agreed with*Originally posted by Devil1976:Well... Much of what I could have said have already been said to you...
It's all up to you now...
To RESIGN to 'FATE' which would probably lies MAINLY in HIS HANDS, and LIVE LIFE the way IT IS NOW... Not really being your 'break free' self but a submissive form... Only to either TOLERATE things when they go wrong or FACE REAL SH|T and try to do something about life when it goes TOTALLY OUT OF HAND for you....
OR
BREAK FREE and DECIDES where you would like to go from there... Find a better guy for youself if you can, if not...? I think it still BEATS being MARRIED and STUCK to someone who probably won't appreciate you much of any bits...
HAVING A STEADY BF SETTLE DOWN WITH HIM MARRIAGE is no longer the NORM nowadays... Not that I have anything against that, but you need not be living YOUR LIFE people EXPECT you to... BECAUSE END OF THE DAY, you'll be the one STUCK with YOUR OWN LIFE... NOT THEM....
You're still PRETTY YOUNG... RESPECT YOURSELF by RESPECTING YOUR LIFE... RESPECT YOUR LIFE by MAKING DECISION which you can RESPECT.... -
MC.........i didn't know you beat up your gf.........Originally posted by M©+square:My goodness!
I realised that i've was in both A and SO's shoe before. Quite sometime ago.
Hmm...what's new.
*MC walk away....trying to look for stars in the dark blue.*
haiz........u disappoint me..... -
Nay... I think she like you ok...?Originally posted by dcx:
I like your "F*CKING" sentence above...
hMz...am i intruding too much into threadstarter's personal mind/problem??? If so, tell me so that i TRY not to be....... 
-
Originally posted by dcx:MC.........i didn't know you beat up your gf.........
haiz........u disappoint me..... -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Nay... I think she like you ok...?
Frankly speaking.......i share the same thoughts too..... -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... Sounds pretty bad... Should be a 'karmanic' relationship...?
Your relationship which you've chosen to step in and be SHAPED along with it, has caused your 'fate' for today.... All those just happened last year and you're going for the ROM this year with so much DOUBTS still within yourself...?
You're LOST. Like you're said, you're probably not even yourself anymore.... It probably would be ok if you never 'wake up' again in the future... Anymore problems in the future, just post here in AA and call it a day...?
What's your SO's horoscope?
It's difficult to explain to you... Or even to talk you out of it... Because it's a 'cage' you've so willingly placed yourself within... Based on your nature, this just really ain't quite you... But yes, there's an alternate saying.... The 'blindly no turning back' mode... I think you're on IT....
The reason why you're not pushing back the ROM date is not because you can't... It's because you're weak and unconvinced... Blind as I've said... Because you don't want to... What 'young mum'; anniversary with ROM; others' expectations etc. are just excuses you've made up for yourself SUBCONSCIOUSLY.... Because without them, you probably won't know how to bring yourself to the 'green light' of your ROM... The 'date line' is set and agreed by yourself so that you can quickly get things OVER with...
You've got a stubborn nature in a sense... And it would certainly be MOST degrading to yourself to ACCEPT that your DECISION to go on this relationship for 5 YEARS of your life... CHANGE YOURSELF and go into a 'no turning back' mode has been RETURNED with a 'HE BETRAYED ME' answer... The FACT that your move was quite a very wrong one...? NOPE. You CAN'T ACCEPT that. That's why you've rather CHOOSE to GO ON and even SUFFER in SILENCE if you have to....>>> Agreed upon this
But the fact is humans often make mistakes in their lives... Even devils do.... >>> Must be you... It's not just about being 'wrong' now, but the worse of scenerio would be to CONTINUE with that 'wrong' and bring it to a HIGHER LEVEL.... Do you have to live with that? Not if you can do away with your own ego...
And ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT to NOTE... If your SO knows that you're on ALL OUT on this 'no turning back' mode (which he should probably knows by now...), he can HOLD a KEY to the OUTCOMES to MANY THINGS to COME... Like you've mentioned about he being the DECISION MAKER MOST of the time... He can choose to RUN the SHOW the way he likes... And YOU can only blindly SURRENDER your FUTURE to him... For better or worse... And just what which of the 2 does it really seems to you for now...? You need not tell... But you should only see....