Felt disgusted n betrayed..
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if i were you, and i was bound to go overseas. i will definitely go. who cares about a stupid girl?! i dont believe in the "one" . any girl can be the "one" at the right time, right place, right condition. so it is pointless to give up the rest for 1.
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Oh well.
Learn this lesson well then; no member of this opposite sex is ever worth doing too much for. -
Aw man, look what being faithful gives you, my advice is dun break up with her pretend to forgive her and when she thought you are her bf, betray her sleep with other gals. Make her know how does betrayal feels and after she found out you betray her, tell her how a s.lut she has been and treat her like dirt, make her cry. Then dump her.
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Threadstarter, I'm sorry to say this and many of us here will say this too. You are a moron to change your education plans for a girl. Please... For goodness sake, be a man! You have to live your life like it's suppose to be. Be focused on building your own life, in terms of education, career etc. Alwaz alwaz remember that women are a bonus to your life. It's not the other way around.
Besides, you guys are young. Come on man, you want to tie the knot and sign contract to stay exclusive to each other? My words may sound harsh but most of the other pple here will agree.
You are under the curse of the one-itis. You basically put the p*ssy-on-the-pedestal. Which was wrong wrong. Not at least until she's your wife man. I want you to be strong and be a real man. You must focus on charting your own life's direction and plans. I hope you learn from this and dun repeat this mistake. Hey if she's some freaking hot babe who looks like angelina jolie n does you like a porn star, then ok.. i can udnerstand the heartbreaks abit.. but still then, dun get over-obsessed.
Learn from this lesson. Treat this as a good experience. Life is not meant to be all smooth sailing and full of joy. It's those down moments which make us stop and question and learn from our experiences. I hope you do that. Do not give up the forest for ONE tree. There's plenty of women out there. Once you adopt such a manly attitude, you'll be more attractive. Believe me, i've been there, done that and am enjoyign a much more fruitful life
I hope you pull through this, leave the past behind and move on. Be positive! Dun think of taking revenge or what.. no point. This girl ain't worth your guilt, pain, tears or anger. Other girls would be thrilled to have your joy/happiness. So start focusing on the right things.
Cheers! -
I could have stayed in Singapore for a guy who took me for granted that I would always be there for him.
I didn't . When he called me on the last night I was in Singapore, he asked me to stay for him. I said no . I have to get on with my life and I will be risking my future for him. I asked him what were the contingency - he said no promises.
I said screw it . I am leaving.
Never looked back since. I met new people - I made new friends and kept old ones. The thing is that if I had stayed back for that loser - I would have lost out completely on a new experience in life, on new people I have met and new lessons I have learnt - and a good salary with a job I love and an apartment I have in my name . In fact , I created a better life for my parents when they finally decide to migrate totally to Australia for their retirement. I repay my own parents for what they have sacrificed all these years to give me a good education.
Make a sacrifice for a better good . I say ditch the b*tch and move on. You have better things to do than waste your life on some girl who disrespects you. -
seems you just completed poly, not late to go overseas studies. trust me when i say ignore the current situation and move on. there are better things ahead. if you persist with the present nonsense you will surely regret. the youth these days lack foresight, they can't seem to see beyond teenage romance. life is so vast and a couple of years down the road you'll definitely scoff and what has happened now. take the high road and move ahead, whatever else behind let the dust deal with it. hopefully your parents will continue to support you.
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i agree, pick up yourself and whatevers left of the pieces and try to make the most out of it now. catch up on your studies and renew your focus in life. i think your misplaced priorities and previously immature ideas have caused you to be in this state, so don't continue on anymore, else i will foresee problems, even if it isnt in this form as i doubt you will be really able to let go of this "humility" and "betrayal" as you see it and this will strain your relationship in the future to come and ultimately youll most probably break up again. of course what i said was the most likely outcome of going back to her..the choice is still yours so make it, but dont regret it.Originally posted by fymk:I could have stayed in Singapore for a guy who took me for granted that I would always be there for him.
I didn't . When he called me on the last night I was in Singapore, he asked me to stay for him. I said no . I have to get on with my life and I will be risking my future for him. I asked him what were the contingency - he said no promises.
I said screw it . I am leaving.
Never looked back since. I met new people - I made new friends and kept old ones. The thing is that if I had stayed back for that loser - I would have lost out completely on a new experience in life, on new people I have met and new lessons I have learnt - and a good salary with a job I love and an apartment I have in my name . In fact , I created a better life for my parents when they finally decide to migrate totally to Australia for their retirement. I repay my own parents for what they have sacrificed all these years to give me a good education.
Make a sacrifice for a better good . I say ditch the b*tch and move on. You have better things to do than waste your life on some girl who disrespects you. -
Originally posted by betrayedNhurts:Hi, juz register for this topic.
I felt hurt and disgusted, hope to share it with some1..
I met this girl 4 yrs ago, after our O level during our 1st 3 mths..
i was bound to go overseas for further education, but she asked me to stay, since it was my first love, i fought hard with mt parents to stay.
We were getting along fine and everything was like a fairytale, then 3 mths later we get into poly, and during the 3rd week of our poly life, she 2 timed me. I found out like a few mths later, I was hurt as she was my 1st love and have not been thru it. But she swear that nth else gone beyond than just admiring him. It took me quite sometime to forget bout it..
and for the next 2 yrs things have been rocky and finally i left her 1 yr ago.. till this year march we start talking out again.. after 4 mths, i felt that we are getting along fine.. so i start asking her things bout what happened during the 1 yr we were not together, she keep assuring me that nothing happens.. i trust her initally.. but soon i began that things were not as simple as that, i took her hp and copy down a few guys no that i noe she is close to for the past 1 yr. and i sms them..
it hurts me a lot when it was other ppl who told me the truth, finally, she admitted it. it took me a lot of courage to say that she admitted sleeping with this guy. It was a very big blow to me. I felt hurt and betrayed. for the past 3 nights, i have try to sleep and everytime i close my eyes, i can see them together.. i felt very disgusted. I tried forgiving her and move on, but when the sun goes down and nightime, i juz felt very depressed.. it's been my 4th night sleepless again, i really wish to let it go, but it seems like she is not helping me.. i stayed here 3 yrs for her, i lost her now, i felt totally lost........
Loving her is no wrong - neither is being faithful. You must understand that being faithful to your Love is an essential to any successful relationship and you mustn't lose it in any future relationships. Don't destroy what that's good in you because of a failed relationship - you will lose even more.
She has wronged you; you learn that Love is perilous and not all investment will turn out successful.
This is your first love - probably your hardest hit ever in life. But on the bright side, you have grown so much in love (or probably force to, even if you hated growth).
No point crying over spill milk - chances are, you will never be able to began anew, even in Aussie. You could probably only create new endings, but certainly not beginnings.
Even if you were to go overseas to study back then, when you come back, you are still subjected to experience like this.
Somehow or another, we all have to grow from Love/s that comes into our life; be it benefic or karmic. Therefore the last thing you could ever want to do is to reprimand yourself for the 'what if' scenarios.
You got accept reality and what that has happen.
Then you decide if you could stomach another adverse risk by continuing this relationship with her.
Don't delude yourself, thinking that things would improve - it may not be that case.
Are you able to accept that, primarily?
If not, accept what that has happened and avoid looking back at a woman who has wronged you. She may regret and all that sort - but this emotional damage is on your expense my dear. You have all the prerogatives to decide if you want to incur more expenses or end it.
You need time to heal - allow yourself the ample time to recover.
Cheers -
welll buddy you got suckeredOriginally posted by betrayedNhurts:Hi, juz register for this topic.
I felt hurt and disgusted, hope to share it with some1..
I met this girl 4 yrs ago, after our O level during our 1st 3 mths..
i was bound to go overseas for further education, but she asked me to stay, since it was my first love, i fought hard with mt parents to stay.
We were getting along fine and everything was like a fairytale, then 3 mths later we get into poly, and during the 3rd week of our poly life, she 2 timed me. I found out like a few mths later, I was hurt as she was my 1st love and have not been thru it. But she swear that nth else gone beyond than just admiring him. It took me quite sometime to forget bout it..
and for the next 2 yrs things have been rocky and finally i left her 1 yr ago.. till this year march we start talking out again.. after 4 mths, i felt that we are getting along fine.. so i start asking her things bout what happened during the 1 yr we were not together, she keep assuring me that nothing happens.. i trust her initally.. but soon i began that things were not as simple as that, i took her hp and copy down a few guys no that i noe she is close to for the past 1 yr. and i sms them..
it hurts me a lot when it was other ppl who told me the truth, finally, she admitted it. it took me a lot of courage to say that she admitted sleeping with this guy. It was a very big blow to me. I felt hurt and betrayed. for the past 3 nights, i have try to sleep and everytime i close my eyes, i can see them together.. i felt very disgusted. I tried forgiving her and move on, but when the sun goes down and nightime, i juz felt very depressed.. it's been my 4th night sleepless again, i really wish to let it go, but it seems like she is not helping me.. i stayed here 3 yrs for her, i lost her now, i felt totally lost........
never trust a girl who talks about other guys
move on bro
she's not worth all the bother -
What Canny mentioned is correct. U are still young, dun push yourself too much, if you cant take it, let go.Originally posted by CannyOng:She is not worth it! She betrays you once and she will betray you twice!
This women who 2 time you before has loose moral... * Sl*t* -
Move on with life, my friend. Its obvious that u meant not as much to her as she meant to u. If u meant a lot to her, she won't have lied and cheated on u so many times already.
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I had a good friend cum superior during my army days. There was this 2LT Jeremiah who had a gf called Linda whom he loved very much. They were together since they graduated Sec sch. Then He went JC and finally he entered the army as a regular officer. He was though 2 years younger than me but I really respect him as my boss becos of his kindness and integrity.
His gf stayed with him thoughout his OCT days. Eventually he became a 2LT and was about to go to study in NUS in some university scheme where SAF pays his education in return for his extension service. It was this time when his problem started.
Jeremiah one day broke the news that Linda wanted to break with him. No specific reasons though. Jeremiah was devastated and tried his very best to save the relationship. Finally he found out that it was due to a 3rd party. And Linda two timed this 3rd party and Jeremiah for some time before dumping JEremiah. This 3rd party happened to be a guy whom Linda met outside. Coincidentally this guy was a OCT in the very same OTW in the same building where Jeremiah worked as a 'part time' doctrine officer. However, Jeremiah did not abuse his rank on this OCT which I all the more felt sympathetic yet respect for Jeremiah.
Before they broke up, Jeremiah promised to bring Linda overseas for a trip. At first they thought about Japan but it was too expensive so they decided on Hong Kong. This trip was 100% paid with the savings from Jeremiah. The money that he earned during his vacation job in SAF largely went to this trip. After they broke up, I thought the trip was called off too. But no! Jeremiah still wanted to bring her there because Linda really wanted to go and enjoy herself. Take note that she was officially another guy's gf and yet she had the cheek to go overseas with the ex bf alone!
Of course, the reason why they went was because Linda gave Jeremiah the false impression that there was probably high chance to revive the relationship. But one thing I felt so upset was that Linda asked JEremiah whether he want to bring condoms. Jeremiah refused. (he has the mentality of leaving it for the marriage type).
After about 3 days they left for HOng Kong, I was as usual with my 2 buddies of which one is currently a singer (Jones 'Shi Kang Jun'). We were at the old WOSE club drinking and listening to Jones' singing. Suddenly I felt my HP vibrate. I saw it was Jeremiah's SMS telling me that he want to die.
We got extremely worried and rushed out of the pub upstairs and listened to his woes. Jeremiah was crying very hard. He told me that when Linda went to shower, he read her diary and came across the part where she wrote during the Hong Kong trip they were currently in. Linda wrote that she still loves her other bf yet at the same time cannot resist the temptation of going abroad for a holiday. And she'll still return to her other bf when they go back to Singapore.
Jones who was also very close to JEremiah was also extremely upset over this matter and tried to console him. We spent quite a long time talking to him forgetting about the expensive IDD charge. Who cares, when a life is at stake.
Before We hung up, I told Jeremiah to SMS me everyday that he's OK until he returns.
When he returned safely back to Singapore, we talked to him about this matter and taught him how to get over it. One thing he refused to listen was "You will find a better girl." "Your career and studies are most impt now."
A few advises did work. (1) Go widen your social circle. One way is to join the NUS school activities. Know more girls from there, give yourself more choices. (2) Now you have more time & lesser by one money sucker, go and spend those money on his class 3.
It has been almost 6 years since that incident. Jeremiah completed his studies in NUS and is currently a CPT in the armed forces. He has a gf of 5 years whom he met in his NUS Extra curriculum activities. Though the relationship was rocky sometimes, but they still survived.
Thread starter... It is always never too late to regret your decision. Make the best out of your current situation. And you never know that it could be a lot better than you could imagine.
All the best. -
no offence but any b*tch can do that - two timing a guy.
seriously, she's not even worth ur time, let alone sacrificing your opportunity to further ur studies elsewhere instead of this wretched singapore with its stupid education system.
education is so important yet u gave it up for such unworthy girl. i know... u love her, but she betrayed u. doesn't it tell you that the time is up?? time to wake up and pursue ur dreams and achieve big things.
when u finally meet the girl worthy of ur love, u'll know when that time comes.
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b i t c h
oh well.. don't waste time..
go abroad now! -
I say again..
Relationships come & go.
Education open doors.
Your choice.. -
oh. stop trying to blame your girlfriend on your own stupidity.
first of all, you are really stupid to give up studies for one girl. that's really super dumb. it's your own fault that you didn't go overseas to further ur studies. you shouldn't just 'hint' that you think it's your girlfriend's fault because ultimately, it's your own life. you chose that route.
and i don't think your girlfriend has done anything wrong seriously. i think your behaviour really suck. esp the part where you said you copied down the other guys' numbers. YOU are the one who betrayed her can. you betrayed her trust lor. also, if you don't trust her, why be together.
it's her life. she can choose not to tell you some things. why must she tell you everything? do you own her??!!! i'm sorry but you do not.
another thing is. when she slept with that guy, she has not betrayed you! come on! she was not with you at that time. SHE WAS NOT ATTACHED TO YOU. why must she keep her virginity for you?!!! did she expect you all would meet again? did she expect you all would patch again? what has happened has already happened so GET OVER IT! if you can't accept it, then don't be with her!!
also, what's wrong with admiring some other guys while in a relationship?!?!! girls do that ALL THE TIME! do you not admire other girls secretly too? of course you will reply no, so please don't answer this question. all my guy friends will still bio char bor even though they are already in a relationship lor. is that unfaithful?!!!! NO!!! it's just for fun!!!!! gosh. you are so lao gu ban! go vietnam find a faithful girl la!
true, it might seem in this case, that she is not worthy for you. but in some ways, i think you don't seem to be very worthy to be with also. lack of trust...talk about betrayal...i think this is not true love!
please try to grow up first before getting into another relationship!
gosh i feel so pissed off. -
Stupid gal! His ger admit she 2 time when both of them r together. It's not abt the sleeping with another guy thing when she breaks with him. It's abt SHE ADMIT HERSELF,SHE 2 TIMING HIM... You are telling me she is not wrong? You another one got loose moral. *Sl*t*Originally posted by applesweetgirl:oh. stop trying to blame your girlfriend on your own stupidity.
first of all, you are really stupid to give up studies for one girl. that's really super dumb. it's your own fault that you didn't go overseas to further ur studies. you shouldn't just 'hint' that you think it's your girlfriend's fault because ultimately, it's your own life. you chose that route.
and i don't think your girlfriend has done anything wrong seriously. i think your behaviour really suck. esp the part where you said you copied down the other guys' numbers. YOU are the one who betrayed her can. you betrayed her trust lor. also, if you don't trust her, why be together.
it's her life. she can choose not to tell you some things. why must she tell you everything? do you own her??!!! i'm sorry but you do not.
another thing is. when she slept with that guy, she has not betrayed you! come on! she was not with you at that time. SHE WAS NOT ATTACHED TO YOU. why must she keep her virginity for you?!!! did she expect you all would meet again? did she expect you all would patch again? what has happened has already happened so GET OVER IT! if you can't accept it, then don't be with her!!
also, what's wrong with admiring some other guys while in a relationship?!?!! girls do that ALL THE TIME! do you not admire other girls secretly too? of course you will reply no, so please don't answer this question. all my guy friends will still bio char bor even though they are already in a relationship lor. is that unfaithful?!!!! NO!!! it's just for fun!!!!! gosh. you are so lao gu ban! go vietnam find a faithful girl la!
true, it might seem in this case, that she is not worthy for you. but in some ways, i think you don't seem to be very worthy to be with also. lack of trust...talk about betrayal...i think this is not true love!
please try to grow up first before getting into another relationship!
gosh i feel so pissed off. -
Err... Forumites... Pls try to stay polite to each other and not get too carried away...
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Admiring other people (as in wow that guy is cute or that girl is pretty) while in a relationship is ok as long as you do not bear any unfaithful intentions. The girl was too much in sleeping around assuming that she did so when attached to him. That relegates to her a bad name and she did not respect herself or others in doing so. Same way with men who sleep around while being attached - they are equally bad. If she slept around while being unattached, I have nothing to say because that is her business ( and besides it just secures my employment in the research area of tracking Notifiable Diseases - why spoil my employment, right? ) .Originally posted by applesweetgirl:oh. stop trying to blame your girlfriend on your own stupidity.
first of all, you are really stupid to give up studies for one girl. that's really super dumb. it's your own fault that you didn't go overseas to further ur studies. you shouldn't just 'hint' that you think it's your girlfriend's fault because ultimately, it's your own life. you chose that route.
and i don't think your girlfriend has done anything wrong seriously. i think your behaviour really suck. esp the part where you said you copied down the other guys' numbers. YOU are the one who betrayed her can. you betrayed her trust lor. also, if you don't trust her, why be together.
it's her life. she can choose not to tell you some things. why must she tell you everything? do you own her??!!! i'm sorry but you do not.
another thing is. when she slept with that guy, she has not betrayed you! come on! she was not with you at that time. SHE WAS NOT ATTACHED TO YOU. why must she keep her virginity for you?!!! did she expect you all would meet again? did she expect you all would patch again? what has happened has already happened so GET OVER IT! if you can't accept it, then don't be with her!!
also, what's wrong with admiring some other guys while in a relationship?!?!! girls do that ALL THE TIME! do you not admire other girls secretly too? of course you will reply no, so please don't answer this question. all my guy friends will still bio char bor even though they are already in a relationship lor. is that unfaithful?!!!! NO!!! it's just for fun!!!!! gosh. you are so lao gu ban! go vietnam find a faithful girl la!
true, it might seem in this case, that she is not worthy for you. but in some ways, i think you don't seem to be very worthy to be with also. lack of trust...talk about betrayal...i think this is not true love!
please try to grow up first before getting into another relationship!
gosh i feel so pissed off.
I think this threadstarter has been naive in his early days that he has sacrificed an education for this girl . I won't tell him to grow up because he still has a journey into maturity and this incident will give him at least some level of maturity to deal with his future relationships. Those of us who have had our first loves , still have the memories - good and bad.
From what the threadstarter said, I think he probably feels lead on and betrayed as denoted in his title.
We make mistakes in our lives. We either move on and learn to be better people or we just stick to the past and stay stagnant. Most Forumners are telling the threadstarter to move on and I think it is reasonable.
If you have nothing to constructive to say then don't say it. Last thing you want to do is put this fella down even further. I think he has been through the shock of what human beings can do to each other. Let's leave him be - since he is just asking to be heard and he didn't reveal anything about who the identity of the girl is. Let him choose whether he wants our advice or not. -
I understand how you feel, but in reality...you shouldn't go dig up whatever happened to her in the past. Although people always says that your true love will be willing to embrace your past and love you for who you are, but I can tell you...they are all WRONG. Nobody will be big-hearted enough to dismiss each other's past and really move on with relationship as if nothing happens. Sure alot of self-proclaimed righteous guys will say that if they truly love the girl, they won't mind. But ultimately when the love isn't that sweet anymore, they will surely mind. So I believed she made the correct decision to hide it away from you. And this should apply to both guys and girls. Some things are best left unknown...even if you love your bf/gf very much, there's no point in telling them something which they can't help you and you know that it will definitely bring them additional stress in the relationship.Originally posted by betrayedNhurts:Hi, juz register for this topic.
I felt hurt and disgusted, hope to share it with some1..
I met this girl 4 yrs ago, after our O level during our 1st 3 mths..
i was bound to go overseas for further education, but she asked me to stay, since it was my first love, i fought hard with mt parents to stay.
We were getting along fine and everything was like a fairytale, then 3 mths later we get into poly, and during the 3rd week of our poly life, she 2 timed me. I found out like a few mths later, I was hurt as she was my 1st love and have not been thru it. But she swear that nth else gone beyond than just admiring him. It took me quite sometime to forget bout it..
and for the next 2 yrs things have been rocky and finally i left her 1 yr ago.. till this year march we start talking out again.. after 4 mths, i felt that we are getting along fine.. so i start asking her things bout what happened during the 1 yr we were not together, she keep assuring me that nothing happens.. i trust her initally.. but soon i began that things were not as simple as that, i took her hp and copy down a few guys no that i noe she is close to for the past 1 yr. and i sms them..
it hurts me a lot when it was other ppl who told me the truth, finally, she admitted it. it took me a lot of courage to say that she admitted sleeping with this guy. It was a very big blow to me. I felt hurt and betrayed. for the past 3 nights, i have try to sleep and everytime i close my eyes, i can see them together.. i felt very disgusted. I tried forgiving her and move on, but when the sun goes down and nightime, i juz felt very depressed.. it's been my 4th night sleepless again, i really wish to let it go, but it seems like she is not helping me.. i stayed here 3 yrs for her, i lost her now, i felt totally lost........
Maybe you can think about it this way, she was really in love with that guy when she slept with him. IF you had to sleep with a girl, it couldn't be for any other reason except that you like/love her right? And things happen when a girl is really in love with the guy. Hope you can take it like a man and think about your love for her. Is it that important that her past will really shaken your love for her? If that is so, the I believe you're still not ready to love anyone...yes, and I really mean anyone. Look at the bright side, at least she's here with you now and have realised her mistakes in the past. If you really love her, then please continue to do so...else you should let her go if you really mind about her past and don't waste your time and hers.
I don't want you to care if the other guy really like her or not, but if he didn't...then he's a disgusting person who can sleep with anyone...even a pig he also won't mind.
For your info, you did not stay behind 3yrs for her. You stayed behind for yourself and nobody else...and she has never liked you at all. Else she won't be two-timing you and slept with another person whom she only admired. So please don't be silly and think that she really really really loves you very very very much...cos that's all her nonsense which she should take it to some pig farmers to feed their pigs with her nonsense. Hopefully all the pigs will die from laughter or sadness in the pig farm.
I hope you can realised that you are so much better than all the guys that she ever had or admired. And she doesn't deserves you at all...not even when she go for a vaginal wash everyday, she still won't be good enough for you. And one thing, you may not be as good as the other guys in her eyes...but you can tell her that the other guys will never be half as good as you cos you will never think of sticking anything in her when you tell her that you love her. And you meant what you said.
Anyway, cheer up and don't feel sad about being unappreciated in life. We're all seeking some form of appreciation from the people around us in one way or another. But never rely on others to tell you how much your're worth and rest 100% of your happiness in their hands, cos they won't take care of your feelings like you do and it would be so plain silly to rely/depend on anyone to make you feel happy. You are who you deserves to be and be proud of it (not arrogant please). And you will definitely find happiness in your next love.
Good luck. -
Originally posted by M©+square:
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Sign of Attention to your reminder.Originally posted by Devil1976: -
only 1 word to describe her, beach
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I like MS story.
But pity pity, there are still such sad cases around out there. We just have all got to learn and stand strong solely by ourselves.
i always carry the belief: i am happy and positive being single. Anyone else is a bonus.
The irony is that with such an attitude and belief, I now have more girls (good & bad ones) in my life. So hey, why not?