Age is definitely a problem..
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Yah lah....Originally posted by Bontakun:You luff simi lah! 5 yrs later you oldie liao...
Pls dun kill me! I still young and pweety~~~!
Me got no chance to look for anyone older than me liao.
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/Me runs away before the inevitable doom of MC square.Originally posted by M©+square:Yah lah....
Me got no chance to look for anyone older than me liao. -
Y bother what ple think or say?
If ur gf dun mind, why would u mind? -
man 20, woman 26 and
man 40, woman 46,
is very different. your thinking changes with time. -
most guys are like that right??Originally posted by gohkatkat:i sense a chauvanistic feeling here........you probably have your ego.......
I mean who wanna be a laughing stock.. -
yup, there are no rights and wrongs..Originally posted by aRcTiC_sTaR:There are no rights or wrongs.
but for me, there are..
that's my personal opinion.. -
Your perception of men is honestly, very narrow minded....i don't even wish to go into your terms of 'rights' and 'wrongs'.Originally posted by lonestar86:most guys are like that right??
I mean who wanna be a laughing stock..
Cheers -
it's not morally wrong. Since women live longer lives than men in general, I don't see why not! I feel that a large part of society isn't ready to embrace it yet, though.. especially since traditional Asian men have humongous egos ( wife richer, no face )
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Originally posted by lonestar86:
I guess that's what happens when you let ego get in the way of things.
This posting is merely my personal opinion..
I used to think that age is never a problem when comes to r/s..
IÂ’ve changed my mind now..
So why exactly did I say that??
Imagine u r a 20 yr old guy who has just grad from poly and waiting to be enlisted..
Currently working part-time and earning merely peanuts..
U canÂ’t possibly be with a woman (in her late 20s) who has a career and is of cus financially very stable..
What's wrong with having your partner earning more than you and having a more stable career? If anything, I'd have considered that as a good thing. Many young newlyweds initially find it difficult to manage their finances in the first few years as they're both quite new in their careers. They'd have to pay for the wedding costs, a home, starting a family, etc....
If your partner has a stable income and career, wouldn't this make it easier for the both of you to manage your finances? The only problem I can foresee with this is for the guy dealing with the fact that his partner earns more than he does.
Take ego out of the equation, and this problem instantly disappears. -
Dats y I told him to wait another 5 yrs and rethink this sentence again.Originally posted by fudgester:I guess that's what happens when you let ego get in the way of things.
What's wrong with having your partner earning more than you and having a more stable career? If anything, I'd have considered that as a good thing. Many young newlyweds initially find it difficult to manage their finances in the first few years as they're both quite new in their careers. They'd have to pay for the wedding costs, a home, starting a family, etc....
If your partner has a stable income and career, wouldn't this make it easier for the both of you to manage your finances? The only problem I can foresee with this is for the guy dealing with the fact that his partner earns more than he does.
Take ego out of the equation, and this problem instantly disappears. -
Yeah I guess chances are that he is the example he gave... a 20-year old poly graduate waiting to enlist. Perhaps when he's a little older and a little more experienced in life, his perception of things may change.Originally posted by Bontakun:Dats y I told him to wait another 5 yrs and rethink this sentence again.
In any case, marrying a older woman is a problem only if you wish it to be. Hugh Jackman (Wolverine in the movies) married a woman eight years older than he is, and unlike many other Hollywood marriages, they're a picture of wedded bliss. I don't see him being made a laughing stock at all.
More recently and closer to home, a 30 year-old man married a 104 year-old woman in Malaysia.
Age is not a problem so long as both partners are happy together. If people want to laugh at them, then they're a bunch of narrow-minded people. Off-topic, I've also been mocked at for dating Chinese girls (I'm Malay). But I couldn't care less what those narrow-minded twits are thinking with their limited brain matter.
So why care about what people think of when you're dating an older woman? -
Originally posted by lonestar86:
I think you have got it all wrong. Your argument of a 20 year-old guy with no money and a 28 year-old woman with money is actually based on a difference of earning power and not a difference of age as you have tried to describe.
This posting is merely my personal opinion..
I used to think that age is never a problem when comes to r/s..
IÂ’ve changed my mind now..
So why exactly did I say that??
Imagine u r a 20 yr old guy who has just grad from poly and waiting to be enlisted..
Currently working part-time and earning merely peanuts..
U canÂ’t possibly be with a woman (in her late 20s) who has a career and is of cus financially very stable..
Think abt it..
What ppl might think?? (they might think u r living off her..)
How would ur parents feel?? (I doubt they would agree in the 1st place..)
Pls never say that we dun have to care abt what other ppl think (cus thatÂ’s bull****!!)
More or less, we are affected by pplÂ’s opinions..
[b]My conclusion:
It is practically wrong to be with a gal who is much older than u..
I just feel that itÂ’s not right..[/b]
If the 20 year-old guy has already completed his NS and starts working, he will be more worthy of the woman, is that not? And how about a man and a woman who are eight years apart but have about the same earning power, for Eg. a 30 year-old man and a 38 year-old woman? In this case, there will be no problems even though they have an eight year gap in age as they have the same earning power. -
Originally posted by lonestar86:
Hey dude, I understand your concern, all my ex-gfs are older than me, except 1, whom was younger and that was because I heeded advice from some kind hearted people who don't know me, to find someone younger because they think it is more suitable for me. I broke up with the younger girl (is very pretty and 4 yrs my jr) in 3 months, due to incompatibility. I've been in my current r/s for 5 yrs (and still going), and although I don't want to reveal the age of my gf (average looking), she is 5-10 yrs older than me.
This posting is merely my personal opinion..
I used to think that age is never a problem when comes to r/s..
IÂ’ve changed my mind now..
So why exactly did I say that??
Imagine u r a 20 yr old guy who has just grad from poly and waiting to be enlisted..
Currently working part-time and earning merely peanuts..
U canÂ’t possibly be with a woman (in her late 20s) who has a career and is of cus financially very stable..
Think abt it..
What ppl might think?? (they might think u r living off her..)
How would ur parents feel?? (I doubt they would agree in the 1st place..)
Pls never say that we dun have to care abt what other ppl think (cus thatÂ’s bull****!!)
More or less, we are affected by pplÂ’s opinions..
[b]My conclusion:
It is practically wrong to be with a gal who is much older than u..
I just feel that itÂ’s not right..[/b]
In the initial stage of the r/s, my gf thinks about the opinions from others strongly. Because she's also taller than me, curious passerbys tend to look at us often. So much so that even one ang moh is jealous enough to taunt me about it, lol. So basically, she feels uncomfortable. I did tell her it's ok to break up if she prefers an older man, I want her to be happy anyway. Also, some of my previous friends must be thinking I'm living off her, and of course I let them live on with such fallacies, despite that couldn't be further from the truth, because it happens my gf likes to shop alot and spurge on expensive branded goods and go japan etc, and guess who has to help to pay?
Maybe the r/s last in my case because I'm super thick skin, I really don't give a damn what others think. But when I do care, I make sure the accusations are massacre and held responsible. Second thing is that my gf knows I'm genuine and not after her money, anyway she don't have much money to speak off. It might be more dangerous in your situation if your gf have alot of money. And finally, my parents respect my decisions on what I do. They are forced to think that way because I've left home for a few months due to disagreements with them. Basically, I tend to take an extreme strong stand on certain issues.
What I think is that you either need to get over what others think of you, or it's better for you to find a younger and more "suitable" girl for yourself. I believe if you let your family know the type of girl you like, it's hard for them to ignore it. Oh yeah, in the intial stage of my r/s, I was just about to go into NS and earning peanuts too. During that time, me and my gf normally go dutch. But I guess money is just part of the equation, the other part is your sincerity and personality towards your gf. In your case, I'm sorry to hear that you're under extreme pressure from outside factors pertaining to your r/s. You know what I think about extreme pressures; they can break you, or make you harder and stronger in life. -
Go NS eat peanuts... -
thanks everyone for giving ur comments, esp fudgester and DailyFreeGames.com. thank you so much..
Ok guys, think I dun wanna hide anymore..
This age problem issue is my problem and itÂ’s really giving me a headache..
IÂ’ll elaborate in my next posting.. -
The 20 yrs old guy is me..
The woman is my superior who is 25 yrs old, ttÂ’s 5 yrs older then me..
Recently, she has started to joke ard that IÂ’m her bf..
Initially, IÂ’m ok with tt cus itÂ’s only a joke..
But now, all our colleagues think that we are for real..
And to make matters worst, she has started to act like sheÂ’s really my gf..
Today, she told me that she wanna watch some particular movies and said that sheÂ’ll be waiting for me to ask her out..
For ur info, IÂ’ve never ever ask a gal out before in my entire life..
Then she gave me hints that she likes the whatever cute soft toy which can be attached onto the mobile phone..
I dun even know the name of that soft toy loh..
Furthermore, she canÂ’t finish her dessert and asked me to finish it for her and I really ate it..
I dun know even know y I ate it loh..
Initially, we are merely acting..
But now things seems to have changed..
I mean itÂ’s like, in Chinese, we called it, Jia Xi Zhen Zuo..
Simply means acting becoming the real thing..
1 thing I buay tahan (canÂ’t stand) her is that sheÂ’s behaving like the gal in the Korean moive, My Sassy Girl..
I dun like this kinda gal. In fact, IÂ’ll kena turn off by this kinda gal..
My ideal gf shld be someone (preferred age is 18, ttÂ’s 2 yrs younger than me) who is mature, understanding, caring etc. Definitely not someone who behave like a sassy girl..
Ok now, let me put the age and the earning power issue behind..
and asked myself, “Do I like really like her??”
“.. I dun know, seriously.. maybe only a little I guess..”
Although sheÂ’s an average looking gal, sheÂ’s cute..
Btw, IÂ’m also an average looking guy too..
But sometime is really bugging me that it, we doesnÂ’t look compatible at all..
SheÂ’s mature looking while IÂ’ve a baby face (ppl always say I look like 16-18 )..
So if we walk together, we look like siblings..
Now IÂ’m really afraid to go work leh..
IÂ’m so scare to face her..
OMG.. what shld I do??
Gonna work tmr..
Gonna face her again.. -
Originally posted by lonestar86:The 20 yrs old guy is me..
The woman is my superior who is 25 yrs old, tt’s 5 yrs older then me..
Recently, she has started to joke ard that I’m her bf..
Initially, I’m ok with tt cus it’s only a joke..
But now, all our colleagues think that we are for real..
And to make matters worst, she has started to act like she’s really my gf..
Today, she told me that she wanna watch some particular movies and said that she’ll be waiting for me to ask her out..
For ur info, I’ve never ever ask a gal out before in my entire life..
Then she gave me hints that she likes the whatever cute soft toy which can be attached onto the mobile phone..
I dun even know the name of that soft toy loh..
Furthermore, she can’t finish her dessert and asked me to finish it for her and I really ate it..
I dun know even know y I ate it loh..
Initially, we are merely acting..
But now things seems to have changed..
I mean it’s like, in Chinese, we called it, Jia Xi Zhen Zuo..
Simply means acting becoming the real thing..
1 thing I buay tahan (can’t stand) her is that she’s behaving like the gal in the Korean moive, My Sassy Girl..
I dun like this kinda gal. In fact, I’ll kena turn off by this kinda gal..
My ideal gf shld be someone (preferred age is 18, tt’s 2 yrs younger than me) who is mature, understanding, caring etc. Definitely not someone who behave like a sassy girl..
Ok now, let me put the age and the earning power issue behind..
and asked myself, “Do I like really like her??”
“.. I dun know, seriously.. maybe only a little I guess..”
Although she’s an average looking gal, she’s cute..
Btw, I’m also an average looking guy too..
But sometime is really bugging me that it, we doesn’t look compatible at all..
She’s mature looking while I’ve a baby face (ppl always say I look like 16-18 )..
So if we walk together, we look like siblings..
Now I’m really afraid to go work leh..
I’m so scare to face her..
OMG.. what shld I do??
Gonna work tmr..
Gonna face her again..
You're unable to handle her, and she just not the one you'll like.
It HAS NOTHING got to do with RIGHTS and WRONGS.
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i dun get what u mean..Originally posted by M©+square:You're unable to handle her, and she just the one you'll like.
i can't handle her means that she's the one i'll like?? -
And Lonestar, take some time to know her more then, maybe you will discover some nice attributes she possess? Besides wat she has on da outside. I meant her character. If you dun like her sassy pattern, do hint abit loh. sae you prefer gals who r like dis or like dat... what ever it is, do NOT judge a person. Take things naturally and soon you will know more and enjoy more. Ok?Originally posted by M©+square:
You're unable to handle her, and she just the one you'll like.
It HAS NOTHING got to do with RIGHTS and WRONGS. -
she's not the one you'll like.Originally posted by lonestar86:i dun get what u mean..
i can't handle her means that she's the one i'll like?? -
i've told her that i dun like tt kinda sassy attitude..Originally posted by Bontakun:And Lonestar, take some time to know her more then, maybe you will discover some nice attributes she possess? Besides wat she has on da outside. I meant her character. If you dun like her sassy pattern, do hint abit loh. sae you prefer gals who r like dis or like dat... what ever it is, do NOT judge a person. Take things naturally and soon you will know more and enjoy more. Ok?
but she told me she's like tt..
headache ar!!! -
YES!! i agree..Originally posted by M©+square:she's not the one you'll like.
i dun really like her.. -
But it's not wrong to have a relationship with older women tio boh?Originally posted by lonestar86:YES!! i agree..
i dun really like her.. -
but it's really hard to reject someone..
it'll hurt her feelings right??
i dun wanna hurt ppl.. -
yes, it's not wrong..Originally posted by M©+square:But it's not wrong to have a relationship with older women tio boh?
but i still prefer gals who are younger than me..
in another words, i prefer young gals..