Why is he like that?
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this guy seems to be very possessive kind of person. he's weak becos he tried to control you too much. tell me: do you have a lot of guys chasing you last time?Originally posted by vgal:No, dont think so. but there was an occasion, we were out with his friends in a packed place, he told me to stop fidgeting in case i have any body contact with his friend who was sitting next to me. why leh
dun accuse him of anything yet ok? we dun wan to jump into conclusions. we just want to see a common pattern emerging from his actions. just keep it to urself first. -
I have no intention of accusing him. I'm still figuring out what is goin on. Yes, i do have a lot of guys goin after me. Some are pretty affluent too.Originally posted by dokono:this guy seems to be very possessive kind of person. he's weak becos he tried to control you too much. tell me: do you have a lot of guys chasing you last time?
dun accuse him of anything yet ok? we dun wan to jump into conclusions. we just want to see a common pattern emerging from his actions. just keep it to urself first. -
but he need not 'try' to control me. when i decided to be with him, instantaneously i cut down on my own social activities so much to spend time with him, cos he likes to spend time with me alone, and he does not have as many friends. I'm happy to sacrifice time with my friends for time with him for this reason.Originally posted by dokono:this guy seems to be very possessive kind of person. he's weak becos he tried to control you too much. tell me: do you have a lot of guys chasing you last time?
dun accuse him of anything yet ok? we dun wan to jump into conclusions. we just want to see a common pattern emerging from his actions. just keep it to urself first. -
you are a nice person and all that and...Originally posted by vgal:but he need not 'try' to control me. when i decided to be with him, instantaneously i cut down on my own social activities so much to spend time with him, cos he likes to spend time with me alone, and he does not have as many friends. I'm happy to sacrifice time with my friends for time with him for this reason.
seems to me u love him a lot. is that true? he loves you yet he might be afraid of losing you because you are a 'prize' because many guys are after you... -
I'm a very committed person when i decide to commit. My 'sacrifice' stems from the determination to make my relationship work.Originally posted by dokono:you are a nice person and all that and...
seems to me u love him a lot. is that true? he loves you yet he might be afraid of losing you because you are a 'prize' because many guys are after you...
Is he afraid of losing me? You think so? then why the incoherent behaviour? My take is, either:
1) Yunhaier is rite. I'm just beginning to see the real him, the tip of the iceberg. This is something im worried of, be it for him or for me. for him cos, if he is like that, will he ever be happy? or will anyone he sees ever be happy and stay happily with him?
OR
2) He is juz taking me for granted cos i do give in at times when he throws tantrums. please note that im not such a person. In fact, im a very pampered person. But growing up has taught me to be more tolerant. Maybe it is wrong to be tolerant towards his tantrums? resulting in the incidents? this i do not know. -
Frustration from the marriage with an indifferent wife.Originally posted by dokono:have you asked him why his marriage failed? Was it because he tried to control his wife too much or for some other reason? -
the later
communication problems too -
Originally posted by vgal:
I think you are a nice woman who deserved to be loved. This proves that not all Singaporean girls are bad.
I'm a very committed person when i decide to commit. My 'sacrifice' stems from the determination to make my relationship work.
Is he afraid of losing me? You think so? then why the incoherent behaviour? My take is, either:
1) Yunhaier is rite. I'm just beginning of the real him, the tip of the iceberg. This is something im worried of, be it for him or for me. for him cos, if he is like that, will he ever be happy? or will anyone he sees ever be happy and stay happily with him?
[b]OR
2) He is juz taking me for granted cos i do give in at times when he throws tantrums. please note that im not such a person. In fact, im a very pampered person. But growing up has thought me to be more tolerant. Maybe it is wrong to be tolerant towards his tantrums? resulting in the incidents? this i do not know.[/b]
it's better not to jump into any conclusions yet. just look for any consistent behaviours coming from him. It could be the real him or it could be he is taking you for granted or both. either or both ways it is not good it's not good for the r/s. giving and taking must be present in both partners.
it's better to find out the failure of his marriage. U are lucky u are still dating him and not married yet. -
It is funny that so many guys here complain about uncommitted galfriends. But when a gf is committed, the guy takes her from granted. What irony?!Originally posted by dokono:I think you are a nice woman who deserved to be loved. This proves that not all Singaporean girls are bad.
it's better not to jump into any conclusions yet. just look for any consistent behaviours coming from him. It could be the real him or it could be he is taking you for granted or both. either or both ways it is not good it's not good for the r/s. giving and taking must be present in both partners.
it's better to find out the failure of his marriage. U are lucky u are still dating him and not married yet.
*snigger -
not all guys are like this la. some guys take their partners for granted. some guys treat them well. so it's the individual.
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Hi, after reading your topic, i decided to registered myself to be a member of sgForum. I am very new here and hope u guys will spare me if i say something wrong.Originally posted by vgal:Frustration from the marriage with an indifferent wife.
I am a man, i have a failed marriage b4 but i get remarried and even have a son now. I beleived what ur bf going thru rite now is the failed marriage sydrome that i once gone thru. I think he has a bad experience b4 and now he became very sensitive towards new relationship. My word of advise is if u love him, give him some probation time or sit down with him and have a 1-1 heart to heart talk. Tell him ur opinion of him and get his opinion of u! Thrash things out, couples need communication, is 2 way traffic. u don't suffer in silent, bring the topic out to him and c what he says..... -
Perhaps he is angry that you have overlooked something and have caused him to be angry? Something that is obvious to him but not to you? (from his perspective of course)
And for that, he can't bring it up as this will somehow expose his weakness/shortcomings/insecurities, Whatever it may be? -
Cos He just fuck you ma if he have not fuck you you dun have to leave at 1.30am liao.Originally posted by vgal:Monday: 6:45pm. i juz left my office (in town) on the way home. When i was reaching home, he msg me, asked to meet up in town at 8pm cos he is very far away from town. i said ok. i went back to town. In the end he took cab n reached town at 7:40. but i reached town late cos i decided to take bus cos i thought i got a lot of time as he take bus n train needs an hour. but there is a jam and i arrived at 8pm).
i went buy dinner wait for him at Mac. he arrived and we started eating. I juz asked casually, how come u din tell me u take cab, if u did, i would have taken train then u dun have to wait. And he flared up. Gave me a black face and asked me why dun i tell him i took bus instead!? I said ya, maybe i could have told u too lah. then he was still very angry, we had a squabble over dinner. He stood up and juz left!
Why is he like that? over such trivial matter?
We didnt talk on tues. He msg me he missed me on wed.
He msg me to meet up last nite, i said ok. asked me to stay over at his place.
thurs 9pm. we had dinner, then i was watching tv. when tv ended at 10, i went study to find him. he was eatin instant noodles. and i teased him "secertly hide here eat instant noodles". we hugged and kissed. i said i wait for u to watch the rented dvd? he said ok. then i thought he lookd angry. i asked why you so angry. he said he couldnt load some software. so i said i wait for u in the room? he said ok.
he came over, and we made love. we hugged and watched dvd. when dvd ended, he behaved oddly. i asked him if he is unhappy. he said why should he be unhappy. i said i dunno, juz concerened lor, so juz asked.
He flared up again. Then say why muz i say he is unhappy and angry? why muz i say he secretly eating instant noodles?
i explained: "secretly eating instant noodles" was juz a joke. why would he dun let me eat anyway? why i asked if he is unhapy or angry was juz bcos he looked unhapy and i cared.
He flared up and asked me to go home. that was 1:30 am.
why is he like that? -
should be had a bad day ba... quarreling den jiu suan liao lor..quarrels are common among friends and couples =P Must learn to look ahead
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Maybe wat u say is true. But im wearing out. i no longer feel the anger that i once had from his action, or the hurt that i once had. Not numb yet, cos im still puzzling.... i think.Originally posted by bazi:Hi, after reading your topic, i decided to registered myself to be a member of sgForum. I am very new here and hope u guys will spare me if i say something wrong.
I am a man, i have a failed marriage b4 but i get remarried and even have a son now. I beleived what ur bf going thru rite now is the failed marriage sydrome that i once gone thru. I think he has a bad experience b4 and now he became very sensitive towards new relationship. My word of advise is if u love him, give him some probation time or sit down with him and have a 1-1 heart to heart talk. Tell him ur opinion of him and get his opinion of u! Thrash things out, couples need communication, is 2 way traffic. u don't suffer in silent, bring the topic out to him and c what he says..... -
i know it is not right for me to say this. but you think i didnt think of this? and yes, this thought hurts my dignity.Originally posted by fishylim:Cos He just fuck you ma if he have not fuck you you dun have to leave at 1.30am liao. -
ya, thats wat i thought of monday nite incident. but it happens again and again. what am i to make out of it?Originally posted by Lost_Drift:should be had a bad day ba... quarreling den jiu suan liao lor..quarrels are common among friends and couples =P Must learn to look ahead -
What you are witnessing, could just be a surface or brief introduction to the real him.
I agree with this... Sometimes these are really tell-tale signs... Do you know what led to his failed marriage?
Chances are perhaps his ex wife couldn't stand it any longer? He might love someone a lot, but he loves himself more i guess... Think: Would you ever leave him alone at East Coast Park like this? If it were me, i sure go find a place to hide and cry... So hurting!!!
But of coz these are just our assumptions... You know him best so you are the only one who have the right to judge him... -
how many times already? maybe u can ask him what is it that he is specifically unhappy about? ask him what you can do so he will be happy?Originally posted by vgal:ya, thats wat i thought of monday nite incident. but it happens again and again. what am i to make out of it? -
he dropped me a sms today. "actually we were very happy when we juz met yesterday dun you think. i juz get very affected when you said this and that. i need peace now. just love in peace n be happy. i dun want to care about trivial n not impt things anymore. juz talk and think and do happy things. u understand? we are at different stages regarding this matter."Originally posted by dokono:how many times already? maybe u can ask him what is it that he is specifically unhappy about? ask him what you can do so he will be happy? -
He is dominant, bossy, inferior, sensitive and anger easily. He expects you to answer every of his ridiculous questions. And he always points the finger at you. By the way do you know if anything unhappy occur to him during work? Example bad relationship with Superiors / Colleagues resulting in office politics. Being scolded by Superiors or customers etc. Colleagues gossiping behind his back and he heard the hearsays and got angry and spoilt his day. Or maybe he got a past unhappy relationship with his ex? You can talk to him while making it out also
But think he not bad lah, at least he got good command in English. -
No... he juz started his new job a few weeks ago. everything is new and not much work yet....Originally posted by Phoebie:He is dominant, bossy, inferior, sensitive and anger easily. He expects you to answer every of his ridiculous questions. And he always points the finger at you. By the way do you know if anything unhappy occur to him during work? Example bad relationship with Superiors / Colleagues resulting in office politics. Being scolded by Superiors or customers etc. Colleagues gossiping behind his back and he heard the hearsays and got angry. -
hm then maybe it's a past bad relationship that leave a deep "wound" in his heart and mind.. leading to becoming paranoid, aggressive, sensitive and so on.Originally posted by vgal:No... he juz started his new job a few weeks ago. everything is new and not much work yet.... -
must b the bad sex.
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Originally posted by monoslayer:must b the bad sex.
our sex is always very good.