To let go, Not to let go...
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so will a truly satisfied man be seduced?
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I also did my diploma in my 20s...nothing wrong with that...Originally posted by Haoz30:I hope no one involved in the following reads what I'm gonna write...
I've just broken up with my girl of 6 years. We've been thru a lot of things in these past 6 years. Things like deaths of close relatives, sickness, my NS life and much more drama. We have always been there for each other in times of need. The bond we share is remarkable. Everyone who knows abt us thinks that we will be together and ever, happily ever after. I thought so too...
Things got rocky recently. An idiot (A) tried to go after my ex, knowing that she's attached with a BF of 6 yrs. Stirred up plenty of shit, did not have the guts to admit to his mistakes, got his friend (B)to stand up for him. Is a very long story, I'll just cut everything short.
My ex broke up with me 2 mths ago. But 1 mth after that break up, we still behaved like a couple. I was trying to win back the confidence she had in me. Then 2 weeks ago, she called me and told me that we should draw a line, she needed to find herself back and think what she really wanted. I agreed. The next day while I was with her, her HP rang. Caller ID showed "BB". I knew something was wrong so i questioned her. She finally admitted that she's attached now, with (B)! I was very heart broken, this is the first time in 6yrs she had ever lied to me.
The reason why we broke up is because she feels that I don't give her enough concern and love. And I've been a great disappointment to her, which is kinda true. I'm 24 this yr and I'm still studying for a diploma. She feels neglected and thinks that I'm not making effort for myself and her.
The problem now is, my friends have heard my story and are asking me to move on. But there's a part inside me that refuses to let go... I do not know if she really do love him. She did mentioned that she might be accepting this guy now cause she's been really hurt by me, but she also mentioned that at least she feels happy and treasured now.
I have so many plans of the future involving her. I do not know if she's really in love with him or not. Another concern is, even if she doesn't come back to me anymore, I do not wish to see her get hurt by this guy again. She's been hurt by me bad enough already. This guy is a hypocrite. Everyone know that. If u guys are interested, I'll go on to tell the story abt him.
Im really confused. Should I let go or not? I know from the bottom of my heart, that I really still love her very much. And she IS the one for me....
ps: sorry bout the super long story....
if she cant understand that U need to put in effort to get ur diploma...then what about when U come out to work?same thing again mah...
if she wants to go....there are 1001 excuses for her to come up with...the point is that she made her decison and whether its for the best or for the worse...she will have to bear that responsibility...saying anything more about the new guy would just make U look like a sore loser...
U should move on. -
Look feministOriginally posted by browniebaobao:so will a truly satisfied man be seduced?
stop pinpointing guys whatsoever
whats with this statement related to this topic anyway
take a hike -
shut up.Originally posted by 0lala:Look feminist
stop pinpointing guys whatsoever
whats with this statement related to this topic anyway
take a hike
im only asking yun a question coz he quoted 'a truly satisfied woman will not be seduced.'
who are u to interfere?
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A truly satisfied man will not be seduced because his feelings for the girl has gone beyond limits to the point of near infatuation. If he decides to cheat, then he is a fool.Originally posted by browniebaobao:shut up.
im only asking yun a question coz he quoted 'a truly satisfied woman will not be seduced.'
who are u to interfere? -
Agree, totally.Originally posted by Yunhaier:a truly satisfied woman cannot be seduced.
Cheers -
to the point of near infatuation?Originally posted by dokono:A truly satisfied man will not be seduced because his feelings for the girl has gone beyond limits to the point of near infatuation. If he decides to cheat, then he is a fool.
meaning it's not love? -
Beyond limits to the point of near infatuation? How probable is that in a relationship? Even if probable, how long can this last?Originally posted by dokono:A truly satisfied man will not be seduced because his feelings for the girl has gone beyond limits to the point of near infatuation. If he decides to cheat, then he is a fool. -
When the guy loves the girl too much and much more than the girl loves him. And to be honest such a r/s can't last long. Sooner or later the girl will be sick/tired/bored of the guy.Originally posted by blu_sky:Beyond limits to the point of near infatuation? How probable is that in a relationship? Even if probable, how long can this last? -
Based on your theory, no relationship can last or stay monogamy, cos:Originally posted by dokono:When the guy loves the girl too much and much more than the girl loves him. And to be honest such a r/s can't last long. Sooner or later the girl will be sick/tired/bored of the guy.
men will stray unless he "loves the girl too much and much more than the girl loves him";
but if that is the case, the relationship wont last cos "sooner or later the girl will be sick/tired/bored of the guy". And then, the relationship will not work again.
Correct? -
It's love from the guy but the guy's feelings for the girl grows too much that he becomes near infatuation.Originally posted by browniebaobao:to the point of near infatuation?
meaning it's not love?
the point im trying to make is that a guy whose feelings are so high(near infatuation is an exaggeration) will most likely not be seduced unless his feelings for the girl start to drop. -
how is this related to the topicOriginally posted by browniebaobao:shut up.
im only asking yun a question coz he quoted 'a truly satisfied woman will not be seduced.'
who are u to interfere?
ur unhappy that TS has spoken 'bad' of his gf
why even pull the guys in
its no doubt that ur trying to question the guys -
I personally do not think that this type of 'high feelings' will last.Originally posted by dokono:It's love from the guy but the guy's feelings for the girl grows too much that he becomes near infatuation.
the point im trying to make is that a guy whose feelings are so high(near infatuation is an exaggeration) will most likely not be seduced unless his feelings for the girl start to drop.
I would think that one will not succumb to temptaion only when he/she loves his/her partner so much that he/she will not take the risk of losing her/him. What say you? -
Not necessarily. if the guy keep all his insecurities to himself and there are many factors to a working r/s, not just about the guy's feelings. The girl's feelings and character are factors to a working r/s. In fact a girl's feelings towards the guy is the most important in a r/s. Not the guy's feelings. His feelings is not important because most of the time, the woman controls direction of the r/s. Have you ever noticed that there are so many guys complaining ''they treat their gf so well but the girls' feelings dun grow?''Originally posted by blu_sky:Based on your theory, no relationship can last or stay monogamy, cos:
men will stray unless he "loves the girl too much and much more than the girl loves him";
but if that is the case, the relationship wont last cos "sooner or later the girl will be sick/tired/bored of the guy". And then, the relationship will not work again.
Correct? -
but y do u use the word 'infatuation'?Originally posted by dokono:It's love from the guy but the guy's feelings for the girl grows too much that he becomes near infatuation.
the point im trying to make is that a guy whose feelings are so high(near infatuation is an exaggeration) will most likely not be seduced unless his feelings for the girl start to drop.
is infatuation stronger than love? -
I beg to differ.Originally posted by dokono:Not necessarily. if the guy keep all his insecurities to himself and there are many factors to a working r/s, not just about the guy's feelings. The girl's feelings and character are factors to a working r/s. In fact a girl's feelings towards the guy is the most important in a r/s. Not the guy's feelings. His feelings is not important because most of the time, the woman controls direction of the r/s. Have you ever noticed that there are so many guys complaining ''they treat their gf so well but the girls' feelings dun grow?''
Every relationship varies. -
Usually that depends on the character also. But the point is this when ur feelings for someone is very high, you will not look at another person. That's the idea. That's why high feelings will die after some time. It's like a kind of maintainence work you have to do to maintain high feelings. The chemistry, that is.Originally posted by blu_sky:I personally do not think that this type of 'high feelings' will last.
I would think that one will not succumb to temptaion only when he/she loves his/her partner so much that he/she will not take the risk of losing her/him. What say you? -
I beg to differ. In a relationship, both the guy's and the gal's feelings and character are critical factors to making a relationship work. You cant have a committed and faithful men with a wife who is flirtatious and forever not at home, or a loyal wife with a philandering husband. These relationships wont work. Therefore, both parties' feelings and characters are equally important to make a relationship work.Originally posted by dokono:Not necessarily. if the guy keep all his insecurities to himself and there are many factors to a working r/s, not just about the guy's feelings. The girl's feelings and character are factors to a working r/s. In fact a girl's feelings towards the guy is the most important in a r/s. Not the guy's feelings. His feelings is not important because most of the time, the woman controls direction of the r/s. Have you ever noticed that there are so many guys complaining ''they treat their gf so well but the girls' feelings dun grow?''
have i noticed there are so many guys complaining ''they treat their gf so well but the girls' feelings dun grow?''? Yes i have. But there are also many threads on gals complaining about their bfs, like recent threads by sockhwa and vgal, juz to name a few. Have you noticed? -
Infatuation is a very strong form of love. But it's a very unstable form of love. Possessiveness and jealousy may creep in. That's what so scary about infatuation. Im using infatuation because im illustrating the point of an extreme love for someone, be it from a girl or boy.Originally posted by browniebaobao:but y do u use the word 'infatuation'?
is infatuation stronger than love? -
well, this is something new..Originally posted by dokono:Infatuation is a very strong form of love. But it's a very unstable form of love. Possessiveness and jealousy may creep in. That's what so scary about infatuation. Im using infatuation because im illustrating the point of an extreme love for someone, be it from a girl or boy.
i always tot infatuation is an illusion.. a fantasy..
the person will think it's love, but it's actually not. -
Im not saying the guy don't love the girl but you see most of the time, the girl holds the rejection cards. From sitting around waiting to be chased to being proposed to get married, all along it's the guy doing all the work.Originally posted by blu_sky:I beg to differ. In a relationship, both the guy's and the gal's feelings and character are critical factors to making a relationship work. You cant have a committed and faithful men with a wife who is flirtatious and forever not at home, or a loyal wife with a philandering husband. These relationships wont work. Therefore, both parties' feelings and characters are equally important to make a relationship work.
have i noticed there are so many guys complaining ''they treat their gf so well but the girls' feelings dun grow?''? Yes i have. But there are also many threads on gals complaining about their bfs, like recent threads by sockhwa and vgal, juz to name a few. Have you noticed?
Feelings and character are two separate entities. If u have a partner who cheats on each other, it will not work either. For example, your gf can love you but she can still cheat. So it's her character problem. So u have to make sure during ur dating phase, u make sure she is the right one..if not u are gonna pay.
Yeah females do complain their own problems but most of the time it's the guys. And guys' hearts are broken most of the times because they are always rejected in some way or another. -
He has to control/tone down his feelings. He is too emotionally attached. When there's infatuation, no matter what u say to the person, anything wrong about his/her target becomes right.Originally posted by browniebaobao:well, this is something new..
i always tot infatuation is an illusion.. a fantasy..
the person will think it's love, but it's actually not. -
Makes sense ba.Originally posted by dokono:He has to control/tone down his feelings. He is too emotionally attached. When there's infatuation, no matter what u say to the person, anything wrong about his/her target becomes right. -
Question for dokono..
so do u think a woman will be happier when her man said the following to her:
"I am infatuated with you."
or "I love you".
tricky neh?
I think the first one is a bit seductive/sexual.
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Yozz..... Very profound.....Originally posted by Yunhaier:Cheers
How i wish someone actually told me that when i broke off wz my guy of 6yrs...
So painful for the 1st yr but learn to let go slowly...