How to please him?
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No worries. When you have time to do so or when you are ready to face the truth.Originally posted by spink^gurl:tis too long i didnt finish... sori ar
All the best.
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im feeling so uneasi and confused... haiz...Originally posted by honeymouse:No worries. When you have time to do so or when you are ready to face the truth.
All the best.
nw is lunch break but still no cal or message frm him... mabbe hes angry -
How to please him? The answer is you cannot please him.
You are in a vicious cycle of a destructive relationship. Trying harder will result in going round in the cycle faster. To get out of the depressing cycle, you must get out of the relationship.
You must stop lying to yourself and open up to see the real situation here. Typically, someone who is hurt badly will put up a very strong defensive wall because that's the only way to avoid facing the truth. Sure, the truth hurts, but you will feel more relieved when you face the truth, and then you will be able to recover and have a happier life. -
You should learn to live a life not having to please people including your boyfriend all the time.Originally posted by spink^gurl:im feeling so uneasi and confused... haiz...
nw is lunch break but still no cal or message frm him... mabbe hes angry
You shouldn't have to constantly bear the fear that he's angry with you. Doesn't it make people wonder if you stay in the relationship because of love or fear? -
but we used to haf all those happy times... its nt possible he wans to hurt mi rite? he oso enjoys all e fun time we share before all this happens...Originally posted by moongster:How to please him? The answer is you cannot please him.
You are in a vicious cycle of a destructive relationship. Trying harder will result in going round in the cycle faster. To get out of the depressing cycle, you must get out of the relationship.
You must stop lying to yourself and open up to see the real situation here. Typically, someone who is hurt badly will put up a very strong defensive wall because that's the only way to avoid facing the truth. Sure, the truth hurts, but you will feel more relieved when you face the truth, and then you will be able to recover and have a happier life.
he used to b so nice... mabbe after hes nt so mad then we can be lyk before? mabbe? -
haha...Originally posted by spink^gurl:i haf a male colleague.. always cum talk to mi..veri friendly, last time he found mi hp... but my bf dun lyk him de.. so oni talk in office
I believe you are an intelligent girl. You mentioned you have 5 As in your 'O' Levels. Someone like you should have a lot of choices right? We are your pillar of support. We are your encouragement. Why limit your choices to this bf of yours?
Ask yourself: If pleasing him makes you happy, does that mean you have to please him all the time? All the way till the end of time? Assuming he is always very angry everyday, does that mean you will always not be happy everyday? Someone of great intelligence like yours should know what to do.
I think it is very hard to talk to you through logic...coz you have been messed up with emotions.
You need a real friend. Although you cannot see us in real life, we are your pillars of support, your real friends... -
He will never be like before because he has changed. So, you can never get back to the times before.Originally posted by spink^gurl:but we used to haf all those happy times... its nt possible he wans to hurt mi rite? he oso enjoys all e fun time we share before all this happens...
he used to b so nice... mabbe after hes nt so mad then we can be lyk before? mabbe?
You have to let go and move on. You need to give yourself a chance. -
Try telling me you don't have other choices...?Originally posted by spink^gurl:but we used to haf all those happy times... its nt possible he wans to hurt mi rite? he oso enjoys all e fun time we share before all this happens...
he used to b so nice... mabbe after hes nt so mad then we can be lyk before? mabbe?
Since you're not (and he's not) doing anything to change the situation for the BETTER...
Why don't you just WAKE UP?
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the past is not equivalent to the present.
the present is a reflection of the future.
i read this sumwhere before...maybe you can think abt this saying for a while to know why you shud give up on this r/s before it is too late to even save yourself anymore. -
she is simply deceiving herself that "They could be happy" like before which obviously doesn't he treating you like a doll from the facts provided by you
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Things was not be the same cos he dun trust u anymore.Originally posted by spink^gurl:but we used to haf all those happy times... its nt possible he wans to hurt mi rite? he oso enjoys all e fun time we share before all this happens...
he used to b so nice... mabbe after hes nt so mad then we can be lyk before? mabbe?
What good is a relationship if there's no trust?
Why is he angry all the time? Bcos his mind went overdrive thinking you are having a good time with some guy.
How would you appease his angry? By pandering to his sexual outbursts?
By doing this, would it occur to you that it might give him a negative impression further? Think about it.
it will get worse when he enters NS cos he sees less of you.
He's mind will go wild and becomes overly suspicious.
Like a wild animal, once he's out he's dangerous. -
hes nt an animal... dun sae him until liddat...Originally posted by Magnus:Things was not be the same cos he dun trust u anymore.
What good is a relationship if there's no trust?
Why is he angry all the time? Bcos his mind went overdrive thinking you are having a good time with some guy.
How would you appease his angry? By pandering to his sexual outbursts?
By doing this, would it occur to you that it might give him a negative impression further? Think about it.
it will get worse when he enters NS cos he sees less of you.
He's mind will go wild and becomes overly suspicious.
Like a wild animal, once he's out he's dangerous.
but by letting him has his way, im pleasing him rite? wat if i refuse to gif it to him? he wld sae im unfaithful, two-timer, playing him out, keeping him as a spare tyre? he is nt angry all e tyme, juz tat somtime i make him angry, somtime some other tinks makes him angry..
today is a gd day, he didnt get angry, we meet his frends. we even haf a talk on e way bak.. r tinks getting better? i tinks so.. cos i ask few qns he didnt get angry..
yes somtimes he is suspicious, but he sae it bcos he luv mi, imagine he nt care abt mi talking the guy? means he wld nt bi a gd bf... so i wld nt talk to e colleague in the office le... -
Relationship should base on trust, mutual respect. equal footing.
What I gather from your posts is a 'parent-child' association.
All the best. -
Just want to reiterate some common patterns of controlling behaviour and abuse, which are often evident before the relationship becomes physically violent. Sadly, your partner seem to fall under most of the categories I highlighted below....Originally posted by spink^gurl:hes nt an animal... dun sae him until liddat...
but by letting him has his way, im pleasing him rite? wat if i refuse to gif it to him? he wld sae im unfaithful, two-timer, playing him out, keeping him as a spare tyre? he is nt angry all e tyme, juz tat somtime i make him angry, somtime some other tinks makes him angry..
today is a gd day, he didnt get angry, we meet his frends. we even haf a talk on e way bak.. r tinks getting better? i tinks so.. cos i ask few qns he didnt get angry..
yes somtimes he is suspicious, but he sae it bcos he luv mi, imagine he nt care abt mi talking the guy? means he wld nt bi a gd bf... so i wld nt talk to e colleague in the office le...
According to you he's suffered from fungus infection and since you mentioned you didn't use any protection, perhaps it might be a good idea for you to go to the doctor to get yourself checked out too. It's highly likely that you are infected too eventhough it has no symptoms.
Possessiveness
- checking on their partner all the time to see where they are, what they're doing and who they're with
- trying to restrict where they can go and who they can see
Jealousy
- accusing their partner of being unfaithful or flirting without good reason
- isolating their partner from family and friends, often by rude and objectionable behaviour
Put downs
- humiliating their partner, either publicly or privately by attacking their intelligence, their looks or capabilities
- constantly comparing their partner unfavourably with others
- blaming the partner for all the problems in the relationship
Menace & Threats
- yelling, sulking and deliberately damaging things that are of importance to their partner
- threatening to use violence against their partner, the partner's family, friends or even a pet -
yes he got some whitish tink on his priv*tes, he didnt use any protection. but he sae its ok, wun spread to mi de...Originally posted by honeymouse:According to you he's suffered from fungus infection and since you mentioned you didn't use any protection, perhaps it might be a good idea for you to go to the doctor to get yourself checked out too. It's highly likely that you are infected too eventhough it has no symptoms.
okie im going to his hse le... -
how wud he know whether he can spread it to you or not? He thinks he can control the way viruses and bacterias move around?Originally posted by spink^gurl:yes he got some whitish tink on his priv*tes, he didnt use any protection. but he sae its ok, wun spread to mi de...
okie im going to his hse le...
It is better to get a check up. And pls stop having any kind of sexual intercourses with him he got his infection treated somehow
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this is so sad...Originally posted by spink^gurl:hes nt an animal... dun sae him until liddat...
but by letting him has his way, im pleasing him rite? wat if i refuse to gif it to him? he wld sae im unfaithful, two-timer, playing him out, keeping him as a spare tyre? he is nt angry all e tyme, juz tat somtime i make him angry, somtime some other tinks makes him angry..
today is a gd day, he didnt get angry, we meet his frends. we even haf a talk on e way bak.. r tinks getting better? i tinks so.. cos i ask few qns he didnt get angry..
yes somtimes he is suspicious, but he sae it bcos he luv mi, imagine he nt care abt mi talking the guy? means he wld nt bi a gd bf... so i wld nt talk to e colleague in the office le...
Controlling you doesnt mean he loves you. Control is not equal to love. Pls dun get confused by this.
He would like to control your circle of friends so that you do not have any contacts outside except with him, that way he would be able to influence you more. Because there would be no one out there who can save you at that time and you would have to listen to him and him only. -
I cannot believe what i am reading....... even if this falls on deaf ears or in this case, blind eyes... PLEASE STOP ANY FORM OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!Originally posted by spink^gurl:yes he got some whitish tink on his priv*tes, he didnt use any protection. but he sae its ok, wun spread to mi de...
okie im going to his hse le...
At least till the fungus goes away sweetie... and a couple of forumnites did mention a check-up... please do that for yourself...
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the entire thing sounds so childish and indecisive
If hes those bastard,dump that shyt and move on
stop being affected by the oneitits -
he is like trying to use u lor juz like what my girlfriend did to me but i accept her for all that after all tht she went thru in the past but u my Dear ger better to break up with him ba my girlfriend we juz break up also i know it is hard but time heals all wound i am starting to learn all that ready...
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thats an Arse. he slapped her when she shows THAT earlier on then calls her for sex later on ? what is this ? girl, treasure yoursef more. this guy aint worth it..
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bcos he sae it wun spread to me. he wldnt wan to hurt mi rite? after two years for taking care of mi...Originally posted by rainee:how wud he know whether he can spread it to you or not? He thinks he can control the way viruses and bacterias move around?
It is better to get a check up. And pls stop having any kind of sexual intercourses with him he got his infection treated somehow
hes nt an arse... he slap mi cos hes angry abt somtink.. even today oso... i understand....
he stil haf the white thing on his priv*tes but when i ask him to use condom he sae he didnt buy, he too shy to buy, mabbe nt comfy, cost $$. oso ask mi nt to doubt him cos im his gf and muz pls him first... -
how long wer u guys 2gether? me and him wer 2 years 5mths... next mth we wil celebrate our 2y6m anni... he tel me he has proven he luv mi and i muz trust him... if nt y go tis far?time will nt heal if we break.. im confused but it wld be so strange if he dun cal mi, if i dun meet him cos i haf no place to go, no frend to meet.
he is like trying to use u lor juz like what my girlfriend did to me but i accept her for all that after all tht she went thru in the past but u my Dear ger better to break up with him ba my girlfriend we juz break up also i know it is hard but time heals all wound i am starting to learn all that ready... -
yea right, it wun spread to youOriginally posted by spink^gurl:bcos he sae it wun spread to me. he wldnt wan to hurt mi rite? after two years for taking care of mi...
hes nt an arse... he slap mi cos hes angry abt somtink.. even today oso... i understand....
he stil haf the white thing on his priv*tes but when i ask him to use condom he sae he didnt buy, he too shy to buy, mabbe nt comfy, cost $$. oso ask mi nt to doubt him cos im his gf and muz pls him first... that's the dumbest thing i have heard and the only thing that can be dumber is someone who believes such dumb words.
He can't control the viruses and bacterias you know?
And anyway I think you won't accept whatever we said here anyway, since you are so bent on pleasing him. But one day when you have harmed yourself while trying your best to please him and he leaves you for another girl to play with, you will regret what you are doing now.
Maybe only then you will realize your mistake. I guess you need to learn it the hard way to be able to understand that he is only using you in the name of love. -
I am surprised people are still replying to this topic.
According to past statistic, (1) this may not even be a real problem as this could also be a troll playing around with people's emotions, (2) she is not looking for advice as it was stated in the topic clearly: 'How to please him'. She doesn't want people to tell her to give it up.
So why are you people trying so hard to dissuade her?
People, just forget it. She already wants to do destroy herself, so just fcuking let her do what she wants. If she wants to learn, she will learn it that way.
Cheers