Have I done the wrong thing?
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You haven't actually done anything wrong. But you *could* change tactics since what u're doing doesn't appear to be working.
As a grrl who's addicted to mmorpg and console games, I can sort of relate to ur situation. I live with my fiance. On certain days, I can play for 24 hours straight and have meals in front of my computer/TV. If he nags or interrupts my game, I can get agitated and snap at him. This confuses him coz my reaction's totally out of character. He's refused to join in and play games too, because he said it's not the way (not that I understood where he was coming frm at the time).
Recently, my fiance took me aside and talked to me abt my game addiction. He explained that it was very damaging for our relationship and told me I got my priorities all wrong. I was angry at first, but afterwards I realised he was right - he was more important than some dumb games. My life shouldn't revolve around games, it should be the other way round! So I cut down and started spending more time with him.
This is something ur bf has to figure out on his own, and from what u wrote, taking one step towards him by learning the game isn't the right way. He needs to take that step towards you.. don't do it for him. He's the one who has to open up, to give more, not you. Find some time to sit down and sort things out with him, start the ball rolling (in ur favour).
If he loves you he will listen. -
out of point?Originally posted by Terribear:Little Miss Von,
I understand how you feel with regards to his addiction, and seriously, there really is nothing much you can do about it.
I have been playing WoW for close to 2 years now, since its beta stage. The game is one massive time-sink. If one can't put in the time, one falls behind, way behind in terms of gear, reputation, in game currency etc etc. Everything in the game is a grind to get the one-up over the other players, be it rank, equipment, or even guild-ranking just for the sake of ego. That is the main reason why he HAS to play the game day in day out, attend the same raids 20 times to get DKP to purchase better equipment etc etc. It will never end, and WoW will continue to flourish as the developers are constantly releasing new game content that requires even more time just to experience the new stuff and get the good loot. WoW is currently very much a massive raiding game- and each raid takes a minimum between 2-6 hours at one go.
If he drops out of a raid half-way, he will be penalised. If he signs for a raid and doesn't show up, he gets penalised too. He might have to raid the same dungeon 20 times to get the piece that he wants. Gear in the game right now makes the difference, it is more important than anything else, making the player absolutely stronger and harder to kill than his peers in lousy gear.
Right now, a typical WoW week before the server maint shutdown on Tuesday will consist of the following raids. Molten-Core, Blackwing Lair. Zul-Gurab, Ahn Qirajh 20. Ahn Qirajh 40, Naxx and Onyxia Lair. All these dungeons have a cool-down period of between 3.5 to 7 days, means if he misses a single raid by his guild, he will have to wait for the dungeon reset to do it again with them, or he can join a Pick-up-Group (PUG) which is usually a horrible waste of time, and take even double the time to clear a single stage. The raid dungeons listed above are the high-end ones, I haven't included the *easy raids* like Upper Blackrock spire, Scholomance, Stratholme, DireMaul, which take about 1-1.5hours to clear. ThatÂ’s why the second he reaches home, he turns on the computer. I do that too.
The only time he will be able to spend with you will be on Tuesday nights whereby all the WoW servers will shut down for Maint. It usually takes abt 6 hours, sometimes even more if itÂ’s a big patch or prep for a future release. -
Is yr real name Pauline? Half-Thai and Chinese?Originally posted by Vonderful:Sorry guys, my lappie was down yesterday and he was hogging on to the PC so i couldn't reply to all your posts...
While it is irritating to be with a game addict, i think it's not fair to break up with someone because of an addiction lehz... (but if addicted to another woman is a different story..hump!!!)
Not that I am siding him or saying that what he is doing is right, but i think sometimes when you get addicted to something that gives you pleasure, you would be almost out of control...
I am impressed by some of you, giving up games for your gfs, or if not, at least knew how to balance things, for my bf, i guess he is a little self centered...
I am giving him some 'colours' now and it seems to be working...
Last night i went chill out with my best friends till 1am and when he smsed me, i replied him with one-two-words, and lied to him that i was with this guy (whom he knows has a liking for me...) and when i came home, i just washed up, and went straight to bed without talking to him... Surprisingly, he put down his games to hug me till i fall asleep then he went on to the games...
Funny thing about some people is, you won't grab that person tightly until you are losing grip... I am not punishing him or doing a tic for a tac, i just want to be less available and more bo chap, hopefully to let him get a feel of life without me even though we are staying together... Physically there, but emotionally not...
I am now trying to act like he is losing grip, (when in fact he is not la... haha...), and see if he would make more efforts in our relationship... My friends were telling me last night that all along, i have been peddling the bicycle, and my bf was just free riding...
So now, i shall stop peddling, and when he sees that the bicycle is not moving, hopefully he would help peddle...
If he doesn't, the bicycle might just come to a halt and fall to one side... And there i don't think i need to pick it up and start peddling again... It will be just too tiring to do that, agree?
Hopefully my plan works... A little childish hor? Haha, but not much can be done anyway...
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Yea i wun be with some cheap sg galOriginally posted by Vonderful:You really hate sg girls hor, from your previous posts in other threads... How about study hard in school now, don't think so much and earn big bucks next time & migrate... Then you don't have to suffer at the sight of sg girls liao... Jia you, ya?
Migrating to vietnam is a good idea, but you gotta have enough money to buy a plot of land too... & there you can have your fav vietnam wife and live happily ever after... (And remember don't come back here... & don't let us catch you with a sg wife 10 years later...)
the fkin reason y i'm not attached is bcuz i enjoy slamming down these idiotic gals when they try to ask me out
Feeling of BIG EGO is definetely so nice -
don't bluff...you got rejected by girls...so u hate them now...Originally posted by 0lala:Yea i wun be with some cheap sg gal
the fkin reason y i'm not attached is bcuz i enjoy slamming down these idiotic gals when they try to ask me out
Feeling of BIG EGO is definetely so nice -
Oh my!!! Good one there bro!Originally posted by R3SsH|n:don't bluff...you got rejected by girls...so u hate them now... -
so thats what u think?Originally posted by StarPuppy:somehow..the way he puts it..like he himself is a very great, perfect..blah blah guy
uh uh..why should i be putting effort again when i onced put so much effort for like 3 yrs and getting slammed?
Its not as if my tiao jian not good
-u've seen me b4,and whatever it is,i'll juz fkin slammed every cunts that trys to be more than friends
yes,u dun know the feeling of codeming them
Zzz -
I only got rejected by one,first gal and i failedOriginally posted by R3SsH|n:don't bluff...you got rejected by girls...so u hate them now...
My qualities was way better than hers..even my friends commented
Did so much but in the end?some ah beng got her
PFFT
_l_ -
come on...it was only one girl...Originally posted by 0lala:I only got rejected by one,first gal and i failed
My qualities was way better than hers..even my friends commented
Did so much but in the end?some ah beng got her
PFFT
_l_
i have better qualities than you yet i don't have a gf too.... -
how do u know if u have betetr qualities than me?Originally posted by R3SsH|n:come on...it was only one girl...
i have better qualities than you yet i don't have a gf too....
u might have,and i might be betetr than u too but the fact that u've not seen me before and yet claimed ur better than me is crap -
o rly.Originally posted by 0lala:how do u know if u have betetr qualities than me?
u might have,and i might be betetr than u too but the fact that u've not seen me before and yet claimed ur better than me is crap
then i think its crap you think you have better quality than the girl who rejected you... -
Phew....some haughty statements up there.
I'm out of here. Have fun! -
Aw sad...Originally posted by R3SsH|n:come on...it was only one girl...
i have better qualities than you yet i don't have a gf too....
sad that i dun aspire to be liek those local guys who keeps trying and trying like a dog and ended up so pathetic
how do u even want to keep ur self esteem and pride
They're like dogs who keep returning to the master even when they're been dumped -
I'm in a position to say I've better qualities than the gals bcuz i've got better looking gals than her asking me out before.Originally posted by R3SsH|n:o rly.
then i think its crap you think you have better quality than the girl who rejected you...
while for u,u nev see me before yet u claimed ur better than me?
yea,u might be but till then,we'll keep this close -
Then u tell her it's her loss anyway. Never like someone who doesn't like you. Always believe you are the catch.Originally posted by 0lala:I'm in a position to say I've better qualities than the gals bcuz i've got better looking gals than her asking me out before.
while for u,u nev see me before yet u claimed ur better than me?
yea,u might be but till then,we'll keep this close -
sigh
to vonderful's bf
oeii wake up ur blardie idea
control ur adick-tion la
its stupid reason if u tell others that ur gf break up with u cos u play too much wow
really don't be the 1st
to vonderful
you should haf stop peddling a long time ago b4 u felt any of these feelings ;p -
Btw, Vonder's bf have not even done MC yet and he is this addicted ....actually I doubt he have even done Onyxia yet. I really don't see it getting better
once he hit the end game instances unless his guild doesn't progress then maybe he will get bored of it all.
I think Vonder really should have a heart to heart talk with him. -
LOL
I still say he needs some tough love LOL
Crack the whip and discipline him! -
Kinky!!!!Originally posted by choco B:LOL
I still say he needs some tough love LOL
Crack the whip and discipline him!
Seriously there comes a time when a gamer realise there is more to life than the game itself -
Nope.Originally posted by M©+square:I'm sure you didn't watch russell peters.
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How's the deal with that girl now....?Originally posted by 0lala:Yea i wun be with some cheap sg gal
the fkin reason y i'm not attached is bcuz i enjoy slamming down these idiotic gals when they try to ask me out
Feeling of BIG EGO is definetely so nice -
MOD. Any inappropriate post NOT along with topic / directed to topic-starter could be edited without further warning or notice. Any debate shall not be entertained.
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u mean the vientamese one?Originally posted by Devil1976:How's the deal with that girl now....?
as usual friends,only making my move after i've seen her
her bdae coming soon...thinking of making a card for her -
how come now got so many relationship in trouble because of a game...
I mean it is not even a living thing...I understand most guys play because they want to achieve a high level in the game and be admired by the other players, but this shouldn't be carried to a level when you no longer cares about reality.
It is all about setting the priority right.
As for Vonderful, I think you should have a good talk with your bf. And yea, try not to do things for him anymore i.e don't do the dishes for him, don't stay home for him, etc. You have done all these long enough and what did you get in return? Him becoming more addicted to the game instead.
And to those who suggest her to play the game together with her bf...how does this help in the long run? Both of them becoming addicted together and in the end both also end up with no life? I am not sure if this is the best way to solve this problem.
Of course it is good to share each other's interest when you are both in a relationship, but how much should one share until one personality's totally lost? And why shouldn't the guy pay attention to the girl's interest and share her interest as well? Why must it only be one-sided, and it should always be her to sacrifice? -
I see...Originally posted by 0lala:u mean the vientamese one?
as usual friends,only making my move after i've seen her
her bdae coming soon...thinking of making a card for her