how do u know if he's true?
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Exactly. Spare a thought for him. You are the going to freak him out. But he is a real gentleman.Originally posted by mistyblue:you get upset for what? You can only hear good things meh? Then you are not ready for a lot of things especially in married life.
That's why you are not rational. Any advice will be thrown aside except those you think is going to "help" and you think that by doing "all those prove", you will feel more assured about your R/S. But all the prove in the world is nothing if there is just that little doubt in your mind eating away at your heart. You will always "torture" him with endless questions that's why he thinks you are xiao mei mei. Actually you are too young for him. -
why so many people thinks age is a measurement of maturity?
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Then learn to accept that that you are childish. Go past that stage, even if you need to be led a bit.Originally posted by silent_lamb:i understand that i am the only one who can help myself the best. that's why i wanna listen to the diff opinions here and make myself see things in other perspective. i do not want to live in my own world, seeing things in my own way, cos i may be wrong. i do not want to be blinded by love, that's why i need advise.
Take the advises and respect even the differing opinions, learn to disregard the any mentions regards personal charater.
Only with interaction then you can grow. Blinding following instructions is like reading thru a textbook.
Only when a person is humble then you can respect yourself. -
age is nota good measurment. But by the "prove" wanted to know if a person is true... I would qualify the person as one of those characters in Cheesy Long winded Taiwanese Teen Serial (ie the one with San Chai)
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Haha... we can only help so much... after all, the decision is hers to make. What we are offering is different points of view.
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How often can we say: Wow, that 16 year old really mature. Very smart and responsibile.Originally posted by Ito_^:why so many people thinks age is a measurement of maturity? -
yeah many kids now have enough cash from mommy and daddy to have abortions only mah. Responsibility is what sh!t also don't know
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Very often we also say: omg. that old fag thinks he knows it all again.Originally posted by viciouskitty74:How often can we say: Wow, that 16 year old really mature. Very smart and responsibile. -
are personal attacks really neccessarily to help me?
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i've no bloody idea. sometimes i read oso feel abit dulan.Originally posted by silent_lamb:are personal attacks really neccessarily to help me?
cannot imagine posting my probs here. only once.
but out of those extra crapping, some points do make sense. -
You really really want advice?
Then ask around for the folks that will really borther to meet up with you for kopi and talk to you face to face.
And No. I seriously dont think the guy is true.
Be true to yourself first, before you can know whether he is true to you.
Are you sure you just want to settle with his kinda behaviour to you? Are you happy with his behaviour to you. -
Maybe in your community. So far, I only see the old fags being right most of the time. And they take mistakes as a learning experience and grows closer and smarter because of it.Originally posted by Ito_^:Very often we also say: omg. that old fag thinks he knows it all again. -
if i reall have frens or ppl whom i can speak to, i won't be so pathetic to be here, getting myself insulted like that.
maybe im really hildish. i will stop posting. and bother ppl with my chilidish acts.
Sorry people. i appreciate all the things or advice given. thank you.
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haha... just give the points and let the girl choose what she wants. Im not going to force someone to accept my point of view. It's going to waste a lot of energy. I m outta here since I have given mine.
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Is this 25 yr old man in this thread related to your previous thread?
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=214524 -
he is Mr BOriginally posted by M©+square:Is this 25 yr old man in this thread related to your previous thread? http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=214524 -
How well do you know him? What is his character and behaviour? Whats his lifestyle? How well does he know you?Originally posted by silent_lamb:im 18 and he's 25.
sometimes the age gap realy seems to be abit of problem. whenever i get angry (which is V V V V seldom), he will say that i am a xiao mei mei. so what does a men at 25 wants from women? Love? care? concern? understanding? i really do not know.
and he's has a uper super messy past sexual life. has loads of flings before and is a divorced. how do i know if i am different from those flings? the only thing that assures me now is the fact that he spent almost all his time w me and takes good care of me. at least i know he dun have time for other girls. he tld me he's 25 already and he wants to settle down. i really feel very very insecure. but i do not dare to voice out cos he will start his "xiao mei mei" thingy again..
MEN.. what do u all want from women? how i wish i can open his heart now and see what hes thinkig inside. i really need advice from u peeps. esp a the Men here. cos i just stepped out of a relationship and do not wish to waste my time on another unsincere one. i have no time for flings. im true to him and i wish to know if he's the same towards me.
IF you knew him well enough, you already know more than his messy past sexual life. You will know about his behaviour, his approach towards life, his attitude towards others, etc, etc AND you would be able to decide you want to be with him in the first place and vice versa.
BUT skip that because you are now more concerned about his feelings towards you and are your feelings both mutually the "same" towards each other or not.
How long have you been with him? How is you life with him? How much do you really love him? Do you doubt him? Have you considered a possible future life together with him all the time as in "you two are living together and such"?
I can see from your further replies that you are not as ready as you assumed you are to commit. Answer those questions in red to yourself and you will see a clearer picture. -
I've mentioned this in your previous thread, and I'm gonna mention it again here. Can't blame me for being naggy for I'm old
I would advise against going into any love relationship for a while once you break up. The reason is that you need some time to heal yourself, get to know yourself better, love yourself more, and then, you will know what is love all about and how to love others.
Beware that you are in love with the feeling of love, and not in love with someone. -
How long have you known him? How much do you know him?Originally posted by silent_lamb:im 18 and he's 25.
sometimes the age gap realy seems to be abit of problem. whenever i get angry (which is V V V V seldom), he will say that i am a xiao mei mei. so what does a men at 25 wants from women? Love? care? concern? understanding? i really do not know.
and he's has a uper super messy past sexual life. has loads of flings before and is a divorced. how do i know if i am different from those flings? the only thing that assures me now is the fact that he spent almost all his time w me and takes good care of me. at least i know he dun have time for other girls. he tld me he's 25 already and he wants to settle down. i really feel very very insecure. but i do not dare to voice out cos he will start his "xiao mei mei" thingy again..
MEN.. what do u all want from women? how i wish i can open his heart now and see what hes thinkig inside. i really need advice from u peeps. esp a the Men here. cos i just stepped out of a relationship and do not wish to waste my time on another unsincere one. i have no time for flings. im true to him and i wish to know if he's the same towards me. -
your problem is the same as mine.Originally posted by silent_lamb:im 18 and he's 25.
sometimes the age gap realy seems to be abit of problem. whenever i get angry (which is V V V V seldom), he will say that i am a xiao mei mei. so what does a men at 25 wants from women? Love? care? concern? understanding? i really do not know.
and he's has a uper super messy past sexual life. has loads of flings before and is a divorced. how do i know if i am different from those flings? the only thing that assures me now is the fact that he spent almost all his time w me and takes good care of me. at least i know he dun have time for other girls. he tld me he's 25 already and he wants to settle down. i really feel very very insecure. but i do not dare to voice out cos he will start his "xiao mei mei" thingy again..
MEN.. what do u all want from women? how i wish i can open his heart now and see what hes thinkig inside. i really need advice from u peeps. esp a the Men here. cos i just stepped out of a relationship and do not wish to waste my time on another unsincere one. i have no time for flings. im true to him and i wish to know if he's the same towards me.
hahaha.
my girl is 18 and i'm 25.
we both get along well but we do argue quite a bit.
there isn't any offical menthod to know if the person is true or not.
but in time, all secrets will be revealed.
my advice to you would be to go through the relationship and find out if you both are compatiable.
all relationship is like trial and error.
without trying, you will never know the answer.
all the best.
go go, jia you.
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Girl,Originally posted by silent_lamb:he is Mr B
One thing which puzzles me.
Why didn't you mention about these shortcomings in the previous post?
Or did you realise he have all these things coming out from his bags just recently?
Did you doubt him all along?
p.s - PM me if you have difficulty continuing in this thread. -
If you're holding SO MUCH DOUBTS in him, I seriously wonder why you're ever considering a relationship with him...? Are you in a hurry...?Originally posted by silent_lamb:im 18 and he's 25.
sometimes the age gap realy seems to be abit of problem. whenever i get angry (which is V V V V seldom), he will say that i am a xiao mei mei. so what does a men at 25 wants from women? Love? care? concern? understanding? i really do not know.
and he's has a uper super messy past sexual life. has loads of flings before and is a divorced. how do i know if i am different from those flings? the only thing that assures me now is the fact that he spent almost all his time w me and takes good care of me. at least i know he dun have time for other girls. he tld me he's 25 already and he wants to settle down. i really feel very very insecure. but i do not dare to voice out cos he will start his "xiao mei mei" thingy again..
MEN.. what do u all want from women? how i wish i can open his heart now and see what hes thinkig inside. i really need advice from u peeps. esp a the Men here. cos i just stepped out of a relationship and do not wish to waste my time on another unsincere one. i have no time for flings. im true to him and i wish to know if he's the same towards me.
Why not just settle for friends 1st if ya even bother to...?
Other than that you've already mentioned in this thread... Would you like to list down more things which might have caused your DOUBTS in him....
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Originally posted by mistyblue:Internet by its nature is full of information. Full of people's 1001 opinions, Full of gabage, full of funny things and even full of gems.
A lot of people selectively look out for information to alley their decisions even if the information might be misleading, false or whatever so it be.
Internet is for people to make causal remarks and make any sort of remarks without any responsibility.
Internet is full of half a story and half truths or twisted truths. The whole stroy never comes out, nor are anyone of us fully aware of the situation and can advice to 100%. Therefore relying on such advice has its risk and the person who choose to take it bears the consequence.
So as I said, and I would agree, you can be annoying because there is no answer to your question. If you have doubts, no one here can solve it 100 % because we are not you and your information might be twisted to give a certain kind of response.
NICE THEORIES.... But I'm afraid I won't quite agree with...Originally posted by viciouskitty74:Then learn to accept that that you are childish. Go past that stage, even if you need to be led a bit.
Take the advises and respect even the differing opinions, learn to disregard the any mentions regards personal charater.
Only with interaction then you can grow. Blinding following instructions is like reading thru a textbook.
Only when a person is humble then you can respect yourself.
HITTING one with HARD FACTS might be necessary AT TIMES...
BUT hitting one with your own PRE-HAND CONCRETE BELIEF(S) is NEVER really a wise move.... Childish, immature or whatever.. I see her as a 18 years old looking for help... Give her some ROOM before you decide to WHACK HER HARD.... PERSONALLY, I DON'T THINK she DESERVES THAT...
HEARD of the saying "Innocent until proven guilty"....?
I think no matter right or wrong... It's always so much EASIER to be the one holding the BAT NOW.... ISN'T IT -
Originally posted by silent_lamb:im 18 and he's 25.
sometimes the age gap realy seems to be abit of problem. whenever i get angry (which is V V V V seldom), he will say that i am a xiao mei mei. so what does a men at 25 wants from women? Love? care? concern? understanding? i really do not know.
and he's has a uper super messy past sexual life. has loads of flings before and is a divorced. how do i know if i am different from those flings? the only thing that assures me now is the fact that he spent almost all his time w me and takes good care of me. at least i know he dun have time for other girls. he tld me he's 25 already and he wants to settle down. i really feel very very insecure. but i do not dare to voice out cos he will start his "xiao mei mei" thingy again..
MEN.. what do u all want from women? how i wish i can open his heart now and see what hes thinkig inside. i really need advice from u peeps. esp a the Men here. cos i just stepped out of a relationship and do not wish to waste my time on another unsincere one. i have no time for flings. im true to him and i wish to know if he's the same towards me. Words should never be taken at actual value - in fact, take it with a pinch of salt, especially if he has a complicated history because you will never know the truth of his words/promises until time reveals them.
You cannot expect to quit a bad relationship and tell yourself you don't want to waste time with another insincere one because love doesn't work that manner. We put the logical equation in your scenario - comparing to a guy without complication strings of BGR, which is more likely to give you the security you seek? Obviously, this is not foolproof, but ultimately, the kind of man you accept in your life is the choice you made to have him inside your life. Whether you perceive him as high risk/low risk - you accept what your choice has decided.
Not that I am biased against people with failed marriages, of course they deserve a second shot at relationship, but to whoever that is dating them, telling yourself that you want this to be risk-free... for them to be true with their feelings... the relationship to be successful... the love to be strictly monogamy... their attitude to be respectful and mature... is indeed a daunting task.
People fail for a REASON - only the enlightened ones will evolved and make good use of their second shot at relationship. A significant group of others never knew why their marriage fails for real. These are the category of people who will probably repeat those subconscious behaviour into their relationship until they become evolve or their partner accepts them submissively.
P.S: Case Study of an unenlightened man coming out from a failed marriage.
Cheers -
So there is the other half of the story..Originally posted by M©+square:Is this 25 yr old man in this thread related to your previous thread? http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=214524