I'm so sad...it hurts so bad...
-
100th reply! v
-
i think you can be good friend with tankh80.
-
I think your GF is still pretty immature in handling affairs of the heart... and she's expecting you to read what she's thinking (which more often than not doesn't work).
You can try to check with her best friend (if you know him / her) before spilling everything out with her... I am afraid there might be some things that's in her mind that she's either not comfortable to relate to you or she don't know how to tell you.
If she needs space, then step back... give her some space to breathe... Don't go all psycho... the thing that irks girls most is a guy who can't handle his emotions. -
sometimes i will keep asking her what is the problem, but most of the time i will just keep quiet but then i will be feeling like crap inside...Originally posted by vgal:When she starts ignoring you, and you go into emotional turmoil, wat did you do? -
the change is really sudden. for example we can be laughing and joking on wednesday and having fun, and she can just change and ignore me on thursday... so u see how bad it gets?Originally posted by Magnus:FailureOfTheNation,
6 months..When it's the last time you guys were really happy together?
From what I see, she may not be ready for a serious relationship.
I'm not saying she's not serious about it, it's just that maybe you re coming in too strong.
Both of u are still studying right? Maybe she just want a simple, happy relationship and not those "objective-oriented" type that leads to marriage. It may just stress her off.
Not all issues had to be solved, like "right here, right now, all cards laid on the table". Sometimes gotta give your partner some space.
On the other hand, she might have feel both of you are not compatible and more often than not, they won't say or talk about it. It's purely personal preference.
hmm but what u said makes sense..not all issues can be solved like that, but if thats the case, then what can be done? -
care to elaborate? what exactly happened? what did he do to make u feel u were right to leave him?Originally posted by smudgey:FailureOfTheNation, this is one point i MUST Agree and Amphasis again....
if her heart is no longer with you, there's NOTHING you can do that can change that.
Don't do anything silly just to 'Show her how much she means to you' when that happened to me, it only showed me that i was right to leave. that he will only get worse, more dependent if i returned to him.
remember. NEVER do anything you'll regret.
we can learn from it -
ya...that period is the toughest to get by, sigh...Originally posted by Devil1976:That should be pretty cool for now. Try to keep your emotional turmoils under control. It's ok to be 'disturbed' if it does not excessively bother you too much.
Keeping your emotions in check does not mean you don't do anything. It's cool that you try to resolve things calmly there afterafter.. But REMEMBER... The period whereby you're thinking too negatively and confused is the same moment when disasters are more likely to happen.. Especially if you have that period prolonged..
Do your gf know about or have seen you in such turmoils before?
i think she knows, when she ignores me of course i dun stay my usual happy self, and i think anybody can see that it affects me a lot -
TS,
things that you say reminded me alot of someone. Especially keywords (like aggresive, emotional turmoil, affects you alot, pester. These are the words i constantly hear from a emotional monster) that i read from your posting. I'm writing this to caution you, to stay far far far away from that path. You may not be like him, or i may be over sensitive, but i mean well. I do not want anyone else to turn into a monster to the ones around him.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=212552 -
i think u misunderstood me ba... what i mean aggressive is that i kept asking her what was wrong, no chance was i anything physical or whatever.Originally posted by vgal:TS,
things that you say reminded me alot of someone. Especially keywords (like aggresive, emotional turmoil, affects you alot, pester. These are the words i constantly hear from a emotional monster) that i read from your posting. I'm writing this to caution you, to stay far far far away from that path. You may not be like him, or i may be over sensitive, but i mean well. I do not want anyone else to turn into a monster to the ones around him.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=212552
man should never hit a woman, but woman should not always hurt man emotionally... -
ya, he claimed he never hit a woman too.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:i think u misunderstood me ba... what i mean aggressive is that i kept asking her what was wrong, no chance was i anything physical or whatever.
man should never hit a woman, but woman should not always hurt man emotionally...
No man/woman should hurt a woman/man physically or emotionally. -
What I feel is if the relationship doesn't make any sense to you probably it ran a contrary to what you believe in.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:the change is really sudden. for example we can be laughing and joking on wednesday and having fun, and she can just change and ignore me on thursday... so u see how bad it gets?
hmm but what u said makes sense..not all issues can be solved like that, but if thats the case, then what can be done?
Likely either one/both of you are not growing together in the relationship.
It's sign that she dun want to move forward.
It's either catch up or wait for each other. But both must be willing.
Can you wait? Will she want to catch up? -
well let's just say that he did the most stupid thing ever that compromised his future and i know that if i went back to him then, he'll never learn to love himself first then others.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:care to elaborate? what exactly happened? what did he do to make u feel u were right to leave him?
we can learn from it -
Never ask a woman what's wrong. You will sound like you are begging. Give her peace. Back off. Let her sort out her emotions. A woman's emotions can are like AC current. One minute ok, the next minute, wtf?! Especially, when she is at such a young age, her emotions are at her worst. Women at this age, most of them, tend to fall in and out of love very quickly.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:sometimes i will keep asking her what is the problem, but most of the time i will just keep quiet but then i will be feeling like crap inside...
Any time a woman gives inconsistent behaviour towards you, you just disappear from her. Don't argue, don't ask anything. Because you will just be talking to a cow.
doko -
Ok...I will try to make as much sense to you people as much as possible. But you can still disagree with what I say. Some people may agree but that's fine. After all, when I think I make sense, it's up to TS or others to find something to disagree with what I said.Originally posted by Devil1976:I do not wish to waste my time on you for now.
Ask yourself what are you doing in AA.
Let your HEART be the ANSWER to whatever you've said.... Whatever you questioned... Whatever you did... Whatever you tried to show....
I do not ask of you to follow absolutely of my mindset... Each of us is an individual here... You are who you ARE....
Just be RESPONSIBLE for YOUR ADVICES...
GOOD DAY. And hopefully a better one tomorrow....?
I rest my case.
doko -
i dunno why...same as u, e thread starter...
i still cannot understand girls...maybe jus so that love is an illusion. Or its jus me. but if i tink that way, not fair to me too right..hhmm
my ex say im too hard on myself..maybe that's true..after 2 years, i still think of the past..made me sad. -
that's because you are overestimating her love for you.Originally posted by universe:i dunno why...same as u, e thread starter...
i still cannot understand girls...maybe jus so that love is an illusion. Or its jus me. but if i tink that way, not fair to me too right..hhmm
my ex say im too hard on myself..maybe that's true..after 2 years, i still think of the past..made me sad.
No two partners has the exact levels of love for each other. One of them, their love for the partner is lower.
doko -
Hmm... For 6 months..? Is this behavior something which existed long ago...? Or is it something new?Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:the change is really sudden. for example we can be laughing and joking on wednesday and having fun, and she can just change and ignore me on thursday... so u see how bad it gets?
hmm but what u said makes sense..not all issues can be solved like that, but if thats the case, then what can be done? -
Cool.Originally posted by dokono:Ok...I will try to make as much sense to you people as much as possible. But you can still disagree with what I say. Some people may agree but that's fine. After all, when I think I make sense, it's up to TS or others to find something to disagree with what I said.
I rest my case.
doko -
Does your gf happens to be a Gemini, Libra or Virgo?Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:ya...that period is the toughest to get by, sigh...
i think she knows, when she ignores me of course i dun stay my usual happy self, and i think anybody can see that it affects me a lot
What's your star sign? -
and how does she switch back to talking to you again?Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:the change is really sudden. for example we can be laughing and joking on wednesday and having fun, and she can just change and ignore me on thursday... so u see how bad it gets?
hmm but what u said makes sense..not all issues can be solved like that, but if thats the case, then what can be done?
Is there anything that triggers it?
It may be something you do that 'piss her off'....
In a sense most gals prefer to hint to their bf what the prob is... or they think it is pretty obvious, or/and it should be something her bf knows cos she pointed it out before.
giving a very very simple example : the guy lives 10min away from the gal. he calls her in the morn to say he's coming over now. he arrives 1 hour later... the gal is angry that he took so long and didn't say sorry, but she feels he knows he's late so she do not have to point out why she's unhappy.... the fact that the guy didn't even bother to apologise angers her even more....etc.
hence communication is key. -
Hello. Yr situation somehow looks identical to me.Originally posted by FailureOfTheNation:I've been with my gf for 6 months, i know its not a long time, but still it meant something to me.
I have put in so much into this relationship, sacrificed so much, till the point i think i am willing to do almost anything, i really see her as my future wife, as the one for me...but sadly i am not the one for her...
i have tried my best already, giving in and giving in, but why did things turn out this way?
just yesterday she started ignoring me halfway into sch (we are both in uni) for apparently no reason. (maybe i did something but i wasnt aware) i asked her what was wrong and she said "nothing" she just feels very tired and dun feel like talking.
i know, i can accept that, but the problem is she dun feel like talking ONLY to me, but can chat and joke happily with her friend (who is in same class as us).
why? am i not an important person to her?
why? if she really loves me why does she treat me like that?
for your info she ignores me completely, dun talk to me, and dun even give me a single glance.
today, she ignores my sms and msn, i have a gut feeling..she wants to do a silent break with me..
cannot, i cannot accept it...break up with me if you want, but dun do it silently...no...
previously when she had her mood swings she also ignores me, and when she recovers she will be back and we would become normal again, i dunno if this time she will recover too, but i think my heart cannot take it anymore, the extreme flunctuation, is breaking my heart...
what's my next step? should i go and confront her and do a clean break? really..i cannot accept a silent break..no...no...............no..........
I've been with my gf for the past 4 mths. Everything seems so smooth in the 1st and 2nd mths, we talked about anything under the sun. Very little barriers. I used to not giving in too much. When she called when i'm outside with friends, i'll talk to her a little while and end the conversation fast. But after a while she will called or sms again. She treated me very good. Like how a gf should treat a bf. But somehow, things started to get out of hands... She got a lot of friends, who always asked her out. She used to meet me on fri and sat , sometimes sun. Now, she meet me only fri, or if not sat. Reason? She misses her friends and long to meet them to catch up with them.
But after sometimes, i realised she really treat me very good, why should i be so strong and firm to her? i started to give in and treat her well. After a terrible quarrelled, (i'm not going to elaborate. too long) She told me to give her up.. but of coz i couldnt bear.Becoz i give up, it looks as if i'm the one giving up. Then i asked her to go think properly before making decision, ended up she say , dun think so much, take one step at a time. Things went back normally after tht, of coz not smoothly as it was in the beginning of the r/s. i'm wondering if this r/s can be salvage? When i treat her not tht good, then she listens to me. When treat her very good, she started to pull furthur. Whats wrong with girls nowadays man...? -
There is nothing wrong with girls nowadays.Originally posted by rayyeo:Hello. Yr situation somehow looks identical to me.
I've been with my gf for the past 4 mths. Everything seems so smooth in the 1st and 2nd mths, we talked about anything under the sun. Very little barriers. I used to not giving in too much. When she called when i'm outside with friends, i'll talk to her a little while and end the conversation fast. But after a while she will called or sms again. She treated me very good. Like how a gf should treat a bf. But somehow, things started to get out of hands... She got a lot of friends, who always asked her out. She used to meet me on fri and sat , sometimes sun. Now, she meet me only fri, or if not sat. Reason? She misses her friends and long to meet them to catch up with them.
But after sometimes, i realised she really treat me very good, why should i be so strong and firm to her? i started to give in and treat her well. After a terrible quarrelled, (i'm not going to elaborate. too long) She told me to give her up.. but of coz i couldnt bear.Becoz i give up, it looks as if i'm the one giving up. Then i asked her to go think properly before making decision, ended up she say , dun think so much, take one step at a time. Things went back normally after tht, of coz not smoothly as it was in the beginning of the r/s. i'm wondering if this r/s can be salvage? When i treat her not tht good, then she listens to me. When treat her very good, she started to pull furthur. Whats wrong with girls nowadays man...?
The problem is that sometimes we also want space for ourselves, just like guys everywhere. During the honeymoon period, meaning the first few months when you started a relationship, of cos the attraction will be really strong and you will feel like sticking to each other because there are so much to learn from one another. But after that initial period, usually the couple will not stick to each other that much anymore and will long for some sorts of interaction with their friends outside of the relationship.
There is nothing wrong with this...nothing wrong with not being as close as during the beginning of the r/s. This was something I did not understand as well at first, but now that I think of it, every couple should learn to give space to each other. -
well something is wrong if she can only meet you once a week , shouldnt saturday and sunday be the dating days?
-
not everyone is as free as uOriginally posted by Space1999:well something is wrong if she can only meet you once a week , shouldnt saturday and sunday be the dating days? 
like wat if the gf has to work on sat
only off days for work is sat and sun, so sat wan to spend wif frens, then sun can spend wif bf... -
hmm..all the while its been like that..it has happened a few times already..just that sometimes the ignore is midler and sometimes its stronger...Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... For 6 months..? Is this behavior something which existed long ago...? Or is it something new?
the most recent one was the strongest ignore..