Coward, weird, egoistic, problematic or what?
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Rane.I can see that he must be Chi Qing to you. Somehow you are attracted to him. It is not easy for a guy to wait you for years. He can go for other better girls around but he still choose you. He must be a patient guy! I can feel that he can be quite frustrated as he don't know how to approach you. Sad.
For other guys in the forum, what will you do? Not so sure how you all guy thinks.
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he must be all of the above that u guys said ;p
but any updates ? to improve view on the guy ? -
Doko
Yes, you are right about it, what you said below could be true as I am thinking the same, too. Sometimes it's the way a person behaves that gives him away. He sometimes looks egoistic. The other day I happened to be in the lift with him again. I pressed the lift button to stop the lift from closing so he could move his bicycle out. Strange he moved his bicycle out of the lift but not facing the direction he was heading, instead he placed the bicycle in the other direction. After that he thanked me but looked the other way instead of looking at me. Think it's rude of him to do that. Not sure he is weird, shy or has ego problem? Or could be a tit for tac, I was looking down in the lift as I was feeling lousy that day because of things I need to sort out.
"For 2-3 years he did not approach. I wonder what he is up to. Maybe he has a huge ego or he is scared of being rejected. Whatever it is, seems like he has a mental block that prevents himself from approaching".
Thanks, Doko for your comments and thoughts.
Hi, alexkusu, no I will not ask him out for coffee. See the rate he is going don't think I feel comfortable doing so.
Thanks all once again. -
mei lin and molgax
Thanks for your thoughts. Mei lin I have ever thought about what you said. May be he is "chi qing" or may be he is just playing with my feelings. If he is really "chi qing" then I will feel bad about it because he couldn't bring himself to approach a gal, it's just pathetic. I also thought about it before if he needs some kind of assurance that I am interested to make friend with him before he approaches me. Don't know, these are my guesses according to my observation and senses.
Think about it again, may be he was frustrated the other day that was why he talked to his friend about me. Sometimes I just wonder is he that sort who knows how to show care and pamper a gal. Sigh! -
Originally posted by rane:
Think he's shy. he didn't how to react. sometimes he remains me of myself
Yes, you are right about it, what you said below could be true as I am thinking the same, too. Sometimes it's the way a person behaves that gives him away. He sometimes looks egoistic. The other day I happened to be in the lift with him again. I pressed the lift button to stop the lift from closing so he could move his bicycle out. Strange he moved his bicycle out of the lift but not facing the direction he was heading, instead he placed the bicycle in the other direction. After that he thanked me but looked the other way instead of looking at me. Think it's rude of him to do that. Not sure he is weird, shy or has ego problem? Or could be a tit for tac, I was looking down in the lift as I was feeling lousy that day because of things I need to sort out.
but now im telling myself not to rush. (assume you guys understand what i mean). then i get alone better with girls. but now sometimes i become a bit rude to girls in my talkings and treat them like i treat a male friend, become my habit already guess they don't like it also. -
I think he's either shy or have a huge ego,subconsciously. My gut feeling tells me it's more of ego problem. He doesn't know how to give proper eye contact. He's getting closer, at least he thanked you.Originally posted by rane:Doko
Yes, you are right about it, what you said below could be true as I am thinking the same, too. Sometimes it's the way a person behaves that gives him away. He sometimes looks egoistic. The other day I happened to be in the lift with him again. I pressed the lift button to stop the lift from closing so he could move his bicycle out. Strange he moved his bicycle out of the lift but not facing the direction he was heading, instead he placed the bicycle in the other direction. After that he thanked me but looked the other way instead of looking at me. Think it's rude of him to do that. Not sure he is weird, shy or has ego problem? Or could be a tit for tac, I was looking down in the lift as I was feeling lousy that day because of things I need to sort out.
"For 2-3 years he did not approach. I wonder what he is up to. Maybe he has a huge ego or he is scared of being rejected. Whatever it is, seems like he has a mental block that prevents himself from approaching".
Thanks, Doko for your comments and thoughts.
Hi, alexkusu, no I will not ask him out for coffee. See the rate he is going don't think I feel comfortable doing so.
Thanks all once again.
doko -
Don't make eye contact means shy loh. Girls always blame on ego...
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Hi, Doko, Mr Yellow and Skibi
Doko, yes think it's getting closer. Mr Yellow, all you need to do is to make gals feel comfortable, then all else will fall in place if the gal is interested in you. Sometimes we gals do meet guys who simply don't make us feel comfortable. Mr Yellow, jia you! This guy that I am talking about is a good example. Skibi, I know it's ego, shyness, lack of social skills . . . . . .
Notice also that when I wear blue, the next time when I see him, he wears blue. When I carry a pouch, the next time I see him he carries a pouch. The latest is I wear biege, and when I see him today - he wears biege. ???????? -
lol about that guy, it keeps reminding of me in the past.
But for now, i think i give up and stopped bothering her, coz i noe no matter wad i do, she wont like me.
Perhaps if you just ignore for a week or two, his infatuation towards you will die out soon?
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Ok he's too wierd liao. If a girl make eye contact with me i might be too shy to eye contact her back, because she could be just staring at me or even staring at something else behind me. But if she say "hi, excuse me..etc" I will definitely make eye contact back and try to make friends.Originally posted by rane:Hi, Doko, Mr Yellow and Skibi
Doko, yes think it's getting closer. Mr Yellow, all you need to do is to make gals feel comfortable, then all else will fall in place if the gal is interested in you. Sometimes we gals do meet guys who simply don't make us feel comfortable. Mr Yellow, jia you! This guy that I am talking about is a good example. Skibi, I know it's ego, shyness, lack of social skills . . . . . .
Notice also that when I wear blue, the next time when I see him, he wears blue. When I carry a pouch, the next time I see him he carries a pouch. The latest is I wear biege, and when I see him today - he wears biege. ???????? -
Originally posted by rane:Hi, Doko, Mr Yellow and Skibi
Doko, yes think it's getting closer. Mr Yellow, all you need to do is to make gals feel comfortable, then all else will fall in place if the gal is interested in you. Sometimes we gals do meet guys who simply don't make us feel comfortable. Mr Yellow, jia you! This guy that I am talking about is a good example. Skibi, I know it's ego, shyness, lack of social skills . . . . . .
Notice also that when I wear blue, the next time when I see him, he wears blue. When I carry a pouch, the next time I see him he carries a pouch. The latest is I wear biege, and when I see him today - he wears biege. ????????
lol...remains me of my past too.Originally posted by qwerys:lol about that guy, it keeps reminding of me in the past.
But for now, i think i give up and stopped bothering her, coz i noe no matter wad i do, she wont like me.
Perhaps if you just ignore for a week or two, his infatuation towards you will die out soon? 
but at least i don't "when I wear blue, the next time when I see him, he wears blue. When I carry a pouch, the next time I see him he carries a pouch. The latest is I wear biege, and when I see him today - he wears biege.".
hmmm..rane, thanks for your advice.
it's just that i can't click with all girls well, only some girls.
those who are only seeking for humourous guy will not even wanna be friend with me as they find me boring...sometimes the way they treat me as if im a retarded guy...well, they think i dunno. it just that i act dunno.
but there's one time when i was walking to school for exam, i din bath and brush up because it was too late, then a group of girls saw me walking, they asked if i want them to fetch me to school because they are going to the same exam hall. i accepted the offer. but it was a small car....i suddenly think that i could have smell bad to them because i din brush up, so i dare not to talk (i become very self-conscience). as i didn't say "thank you" after the we reached the school, i dunno if i was rude to them -
i agree that he's dangerous.
he's harassing you.
ur parents are acquainted with his parents.. and so i would not suggest u to make a police report. However, you never know what kind of person he really is, especially when you mentioned that he's temperamental or behaving weird all these years. you wun know whether he has a mental problem.
are u attached? i guess u are not... y not get a close male fren to help u? maybe ask him to appear at ur work place, home etc, like a bf meeting his gf.. so that this will make him give up on you. -
You are welcomeOriginally posted by rane:Doko
Yes, you are right about it, what you said below could be true as I am thinking the same, too. Sometimes it's the way a person behaves that gives him away. He sometimes looks egoistic. The other day I happened to be in the lift with him again. I pressed the lift button to stop the lift from closing so he could move his bicycle out. Strange he moved his bicycle out of the lift but not facing the direction he was heading, instead he placed the bicycle in the other direction. After that he thanked me but looked the other way instead of looking at me. Think it's rude of him to do that. Not sure he is weird, shy or has ego problem? Or could be a tit for tac, I was looking down in the lift as I was feeling lousy that day because of things I need to sort out.
"For 2-3 years he did not approach. I wonder what he is up to. Maybe he has a huge ego or he is scared of being rejected. Whatever it is, seems like he has a mental block that prevents himself from approaching".
Thanks, Doko for your comments and thoughts.
Hi, alexkusu, no I will not ask him out for coffee. See the rate he is going don't think I feel comfortable doing so.
Thanks all once again.
Update us all again, if ever anything happens. I wonder if he will pick up courage and be a man once and for all. Time for a boy to grow up and be the man he should be.
doko -
that dude shares the same behaviour from the past me, the simple thing is he is a ********** shy fellow, so shy that sometimes they gave black face to u and hide in the dark blaming himself y he do that and stuff.... how about try to make thing easier......... becoz of his shyness and his heavy anxiety when meeting someone he like....next time u see him in the morning say hello to him and tries to start conversation saying which floor u live what u working as and stuff, in this way u will calm his nerve down and make him relax himself and back to his normal state
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u think too much
from what our friends had experienced before
the stalking is the other way or >>>
pyschosis -
If you are really interested in him (or even if you aren't), confront him with a few friends. Don't let the love-hate relationship drag on and on. End the suspense for the poor fella.
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Doko, browniebaobao, qwerys, skibi, Mr Yellow and nightage
Thanks for your comments and advice.
- Doko you are right I do see there is so much "boy" in him, he needs to grow up and be a man!
- Browniebaobao, I don't deny I find him a little harassing. Just can't understand what makes him keeps focusing/looking in the direction he knows I am coming from and then when he sees me he keeps staring and I know there must be something up his mind. Sometimes I find him rather scheming.
Sometime last week I realised why he placed his bicycle the other direction rather than the direction he was heading to, scheming! Sigh!
- Mr yellow, do something about your personal hygiene which is the basic. If you get the basic right and brush up on your interpersonal skills, I believe you will meet nice people.
- qwerys and nightage, thank goodness you two have come out of that, if not you will continue to be miserable now. Think male should learn how to be man enough to treat females well.
Anyone of you could let me know what is the best ways to handle petty men?
Thanks and cheers. have a nice holiday 2morrow
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Instead of saying he's weird or whatever, maybe try thinking from an admirer's perspective? Maybe he just want to look at you but suddenly he find gold in his mouth...he can't speak!Originally posted by rane:Doko, browniebaobao, qwerys, skibi, Mr Yellow and nightage
Thanks for your comments and advice.
- Doko you are right I do see there is so much "boy" in him, he needs to grow up and be a man!
- Browniebaobao, I don't deny I find him a little harassing. Just can't understand what makes him keeps focusing/looking in the direction he knows I am coming from and then when he sees me he keeps staring and I know there must be something up his mind. Sometimes I find him rather scheming.
Sometime last week I realised why he placed his bicycle the other direction rather than the direction he was heading to, scheming! Sigh!
- Mr yellow, do something about your personal hygiene which is the basic. If you get the basic right and brush up on your interpersonal skills, I believe you will meet nice people.
- qwerys and nightage, thank goodness you two have come out of that, if not you will continue to be miserable now. Think male should learn how to be man enough to treat females well.
Anyone of you could let me know what is the best ways to handle petty men?
Thanks and cheers. have a nice holiday 2morrow
doko -
Hi, dokoOriginally posted by dokono:Instead of saying he's weird or whatever, maybe try thinking from an admirer's perspective? Maybe he just want to look at you but suddenly he find gold in his mouth...he can't speak!
doko
Hi, doko, hey sounds very familiar. I used to say that of him to my friends. Gold, so "su qi", now people go for diamonds, ha ha! Time for him to upgrade! Sometimes find him a failure for he can't handle matters/affairs of the heart. One has to learn and practise the positive ways of handling things in order for anything to get going. You are rather sharp, you must have been through a number of experiences. Thanks, so far you have been constructive, mature and objective about giving me advice and comments. -
Hi RaneOriginally posted by rane:Hi, doko
Hi, doko, hey sounds very familiar. I used to say that of him to my friends. Gold, so "su qi", now people go for diamonds, ha ha! Time for him to upgrade! Sometimes find him a failure for he can't handle matters/affairs of the heart. One has to learn and practise the positive ways of handling things in order for anything to get going. You are rather sharp, you must have been through a number of experiences. Thanks, so far you have been constructive, mature and objective about giving me advice and comments.
In Hokkien, they call it "ga kim". Im trying to think from his perspective. I believe everyone has a certain amount of fear in approaching women, just that some has more and some has less.
He has to approach you to earn your respect. If you don't respect him, how are you going to like him, at least as a friend?
You are welcome.
doko -
Hi dokoOriginally posted by dokono:Hi Rane
In Hokkien, they call it "ga kim". Im trying to think from his perspective. I believe everyone has a certain amount of fear in approaching women, just that some has more and some has less.
He has to approach you to earn your respect. If you don't respect him, how are you going to like him, at least as a friend?
You are welcome.
doko
Many called it "kim chwee". Yes, you seems to read my mind! If a guy can't approach a gal in the appropriate manner which I think this is really the very basic, then there's really nothing I could say. Possible that his problems are fear, ego, doesn't know how to and may be uncertainty. Yes, one has to like the person as a friend in order to think more about it. I ever came across guys who have no problems in approaching gals. These men are spontaneous in their own ways and they put gals at ease in their presence. -
.Originally posted by rane:Hi doko
Many called it "kim chwee". Yes, you seems to read my mind! If a guy can't approach a gal in the appropriate manner which I think this is really the very basic, then there's really nothing I could say. Possible that his problems are fear, ego, doesn't know how to and may be uncertainty. Yes, one has to like the person as a friend in order to think more about it. I ever came across guys who have no problems in approaching gals. These men are spontaneous in their own ways and they put gals at ease in their presence.
What about girls who cannot approach guys in the right manner ?? Gossip about Men and their behaviour ??
Girls who portray strong sense of insecurity and keep saying the men did not approach to give them a sense of security? ( They always seem 'right' but can never find their own life partner in their own way, hence forming the "spinsters" Club ) coz they spin too much insecure tales about other people.
Can we follow on in explaining why do girls keep wanting to pass on their own insecurity to others around them and also to guys ? Becoz these are the same girls that appear to encourage their friend on divorce when some other family matters arises. In the end the affected "Wife" carries this sense of insecurity back home and pass on this negative insecurity onto the over-stressed "husband".
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Hey, you show how ungentlemen you are in your response to this thread, notfromvenus. YOu are not from venus, so? You don't sound like you can handle BGR well!Originally posted by NotFromVenus:.
What about girls who cannot approach guys in the right manner ?? Gossip about Men and their behaviour ??
Girls who portray strong sense of insecurity and keep saying the men did not approach to give them a sense of security?
Can we follow on in explaining why do girls keep wanting to pass on their own insecurity to others around them and also to guys ? -
Please define "ladylike" and I will show you "gentlemanly".Originally posted by rane:Hey, you show how ungentlemen you are in your response to this thread, notfromvenus. YOu are not from venus, so? You don't sound like you can handle BGR well!
And also i do not boast of handling BGR as well as you in the 1st place. -
NotfromVenus: For your information:Originally posted by NotFromVenus:.
What about girls who cannot approach guys in the right manner ?? Gossip about Men and their behaviour ??
Girls who portray strong sense of insecurity and keep saying the men did not approach to give them a sense of security?
Can we follow on in explaining why do girls keep wanting to pass on their own insecurity to others around them and also to guys ?
If you want to start this topic "Can we follow on in explaining why do girls keep wanting to pass on their own insecurity to others around them and also to guys ?" Go post your own thread, don't confuse readers here. Childish to generalise that girls wanting to pass on their own insecurity to others around them and also to guys?
This thread is on the topic "Coward, weird, egoistic, problematic , or what?