Coward, weird, egoistic, problematic or what?
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clearly he is possessed, you better stay away from him, or he is just plain crazy!Originally posted by rane:Just wonder what is it or what are those problems that cause one to behave the way he or she does. This weird guy has been noticing me for about 2 to 3 years already. It is his behaviour that sometimes scares me off. Have many encounters (strange, pleasant, weird, scary, irritating, and unpleasant) with him. He seems to know the time and place where I appear. My friends said he is stalking me but I am not sure if he is.
- many times see him looking around, when he sees me he stare at me for long as if giving some kind of signal. He is intense.
- Sometimes when he sees me he looks at me with admiring expression. Sometimes he looks so hard, aloof, egoistic, or “gao bu ke pan”.
- few times when he is near me he shows (body language) that he would like to approach me but just canÂ’t bring himself to do so.
- Those few times this weird fellow smiled at me, I was so deep in thought or wasnÂ’t ready to return smile.
The first time when he and I (only 2 of us) were in the lift, he was moaning so loudly and that scared me a little but at the same time I gave him the benefit of doubt - I was wondering if he was manifesting in this way because of some kind of problems he has. But my friend told me he could be dangerous as it is possible he may rape me. I don't think so.
After the lift incident when I saw him appeared right in front of me smiling at me, I was kind of scared and told my sis that I need to rush off. The next time when I saw him he shows me black face and he rushed off. Another time I saw him talking to his friend about me. His friend looked at me angrily. Strange, I donÂ’t know his friend at all and for his friend to look at me that way is absolutely unjustified. All I can say is these are petty men! I think it is too much of him to behave this way for he and I are not even friends.
Simply can’t tell all that had happened and is happening here as it’s going to be very long. All I want to say is this fellow keeps looking and staring, I don’t know what he is up to. It’s rather “ai mei” for 2 to 3 years and I am really tired about it already. He is as good as a stranger for I don’t know much about him except that my mum told me he is a bachelor. My mum is acquainted with his parents. -
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tis guy has done alot of homework n showing great interests in u, but he's simply either too guniang or screw himself up by using wrong approach since he's inexperience.Originally posted by rane:798 & redstone - yeah agree with you both. He definitely is inexperience in approaching females. Don't think he has any previous relationship with any female. Some guy help him!
me also like him before... for me, gals i dun like i can act normal n tok pervertly or sweet talk wif them; but when it come to gal i interested wif, usually i can show cold-hearted attitude to hide my feeling from her.
i'm really getting frustrated of myself... -
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Hi, 798Originally posted by 798:tis guy has done alot of homework n showing great interests in u, but he's simply either too guniang or screw himself up by using wrong approach since he's inexperience.
me also like him before... for me, gals i dun like i can act normal n tok pervertly or sweet talk wif them; but when it come to gal i interested wif, usually i can show cold-hearted attitude to hide my feeling from her.
i'm really getting frustrated of myself...
You are kind of sharp - bingo! It's great that you are no longer like that, how did you overcome your problem? Thank goodness you realised your problem and did something to change if not it will continue to cause you misery. Thanks for your sincere comments. Apreciate it.
it's a real headache to face this sort of problem from a guy, he is the first guy that I come across with this problem. Don't know if he understands and agree with the saying "No venture no gain". -
Ah... I see your drift (though not 100%, paiseh I still slow to this... -oo- ) and it applies to certain people that the contents are as shallow as the book cover, BUT are we going to "condemn" people whom they look shallow like a book cover and not bother to try to see if the contents in them are really that shallow too? If so, isn't it generalising to a point of despising?Originally posted by ski8:hahaa , the thing about this is that we always hear from the point of view of
someone saying about the guy got no guts lar, he's weird lar , he's like that lar,,,he's not real lar (when literary those whom r smart will see their own eyes n ears-- the elders said )...everyone has a mask in the real world.. cmon lar..if u dont b good to someone , u think he/she will still treat u the same after they tried to b helpful..
the bitchy ppl whom they thought they r important ( not saying girls whom r only bitting others but also bitting among themselves which they didnt know ---saw my own eyes lolll...some guys also like that lar )) ----- this contributed to the fact that the
"contents of the book r as shallow as the book cover"..
Because of a few "black sheeps" that gave us the "contents are as shallow as the book cover" view of these particular group of people, we cannot just simply label all of them the same. I understand its tiring and at times fustrating to try to know the person's character, but... Let me give an analogy:
Adventurers like Indiana Jones and Lara Croft (Ok they are fictional characters...) search for "treasures" in a seemingly "impossible" scenario given to them. They find many possible clues, places, riddles, etc in search of that elusive treasures. Many times they are disappointed as it either goes to naught or leads to more riddles, clues, places, etc but they never gave up simply because of the "treasure" they had in mind.
We are in search of friends/mates/etc whom we value and we have to look through many different people/etc to find these friends/mates/etc.
Is it confusing, people?
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Apparently I'd chance upon this thread to receive more Names than I could have found.Originally posted by Bontakun:Ah... I see your drift (though not 100%, paiseh I still slow to this... -oo- ) and it applies to certain people that the contents are as shallow as the book cover, BUT are we going to "condemn" people whom they look shallow like a book cover and not bother to try to see if the contents in them are really that shallow too? If so, isn't it generalising to a point of despising?
Because of a few "black sheeps" that gave us the "contents are as shallow as the book cover" view of these particular group of people, we cannot just simply label all of them the same. I understand its tiring and at times fustrating to try to know the person's character, but... Let me give an analogy:
Adventurers like Indiana Jones and Lara Croft (Ok they are fictional characters...) search for "treasures" in a seemingly "impossible" scenario given to them. They find many possible clues, places, riddles, etc in search of that elusive treasures. Many times they are disappointed as it either goes to naught or leads to more riddles, clues, places, etc but they never gave up simply because of the "treasure" they had in mind.
We are in search of friends/mates/etc whom we value and we have to look through many different people/etc to find these friends/mates/etc.
Is it confusing, people?
Of coz clearly shows some character traits that could never live with controversy. There is no treasure to be found here. -
im almost the same as him...
its really sad.... -
Patience, then show kindness, and when you have the capacity to forgive, there will be room to love more.Originally posted by NotFromVenus:Apparently I'd chance upon this thread to receive more Names than I could have found.
Of coz clearly shows some character traits that could never live with controversy. There is no treasure to be found here. -
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hi, bontakunOriginally posted by Bontakun:Patience, then show kindness, and when you have the capacity to forgive, there will be room to love more.
agree with your saying above. thanks for being gracious. understanding and respect are important in keep communication going.
matters relating to affairs of the heart are not easy to manage. I believe i am not the only one who has unresolved matters to sort. Really "jing tui liang nan"! Sometimes, one gotta go through that phase of life before achieving the next level. Sigh!
Good nite and sweet dreams! wish you a pleasant week ahead. Nice talking to you. -
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ur right on bullseye ,though i dunno if ur using right analogies with Jones /Lara ( which apparently u can see these characters r admirable in their quest for THINGS ) haha..Originally posted by Bontakun:Ah... I see your drift (though not 100%, paiseh I still slow to this... -oo- ) and it applies to certain people that the contents are as shallow as the book cover, BUT are we going to "condemn" people whom they look shallow like a book cover and not bother to try to see if the contents in them are really that shallow too? If so, isn't it generalising to a point of despising?
Because of a few "black sheeps" that gave us the "contents are as shallow as the book cover" view of these particular group of people, we cannot just simply label all of them the same. I understand its tiring and at times fustrating to try to know the person's character, but... Let me give an analogy:
Adventurers like Indiana Jones and Lara Croft (Ok they are fictional characters...) search for "treasures" in a seemingly "impossible" scenario given to them. They find many possible clues, places, riddles, etc in search of that elusive treasures. Many times they are disappointed as it either goes to naught or leads to more riddles, clues, places, etc but they never gave up simply because of the "treasure" they had in mind.
We are in search of friends/mates/etc whom we value and we have to look through many different people/etc to find these friends/mates/etc.
Is it confusing, people?
ok as u said they r using possible clues --non living things (which r VASTLY different as compared to real human beings) ..its does helps that some can applied to relationship eg. u can apply tests if the girl is really materialistic $$ , insecure , or big mouth ..
it will b not so confusing after u realised that the friends /mates r not what u made out to b n they will not form part of ur life ...then u began to b happier by
moving on ...there u go bont
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Thanks for IGNORING MY WARNINGS.Originally posted by NotFromVenus:-edited-
As much as I understand you've got your own points to make, it's really up to the TS to decide whether she wanna take your words. FORCING it down her throat would never work. And like you've mentioned, AA is about CONSTRUCTIVE ADVISING. Good advice or not.. If it's not taken, it's would be pretty much meaningless to insist on one's point... Just take it that your good words are not taken seriously.
Pls go out there. Leave this thread and take a break.
I CAN take more DRASTIC MOVES AGAINST you but I seriously see no point for me to go to that extent.
Instead I do wish to see your contributions in other threads within AA.
Think 'constructive'.
Have a nice day. -
THANKS for IGNORING my WARNINGS too.Originally posted by rane:-edited-
Please REFRAIN from responding to flames, insults and personal attacks.
Choose to read on and respond to what you think are more valid to the assistance of your problem instead?
If you continue to contribute to flames / insults / personal attacks, I would just have to close this thread.
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Yes, matters of the heart are not easy to manage. Even if we are willing to handle all situations with love, kindness and patience, many times the results are different from what we hoped for.Originally posted by rane:hi, bontakun
agree with your saying above. thanks for being gracious. understanding and respect are important in keep communication going.
matters relating to affairs of the heart are not easy to manage. I believe i am not the only one who has unresolved matters to sort. Really "jing tui liang nan"! Sometimes, one gotta go through that phase of life before achieving the next level. Sigh!
Good nite and sweet dreams! wish you a pleasant week ahead. Nice talking to you.
We all learn new and more things, and grow maturely as a result of that. It may be hard for you to tackle this issue for now, but when it is resolved, you have gained much from it and mature more too.
Beers!
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Ok, the anology of the Jones/Croft may not be exactly easy to chew.Originally posted by ski8:ur right on bullseye ,though i dunno if ur using right analogies with Jones /Lara ( which apparently u can see these characters r admirable in their quest for THINGS ) haha..
ok as u said they r using possible clues --non living things (which r VASTLY different as compared to real human beings) ..its does helps that some can applied to relationship eg. u can apply tests if the girl is really materialistic $$ , insecure , or big mouth ..
it will b not so confusing after u realised that the friends /mates r not what u made out to b n they will not form part of ur life ...then u began to b happier by
moving on ...there u go bont 
Yes, some can be applied to relationship. BUT if you trust your partner, there is no need to use tests or whatsoever to see what kind of person he/she/it is.
AND that trust can come in many ways:
1: Unexplainable telepathic mutual understanding towards each other.
2: Strong feelings that blind common sense and rational thinkings.
3: Enough understanding in the first place before deciding to build up the r/s.
4: Any others that I did not think of.
This is what I do:
Know new friends. Build up the relationship between us. Know more about friends and vice versa. Once comfortable then decide if the relationship level can be upped. This will take time and effort.
If you find it tiring, then something is not right and you need to reassess the whole situation again. Never force yourself to build up the level if you still uncomfortable unless you genuinely want to have close, good friends with them.
Wah... juz woke up so feeling abit groogy... dunno wat I typing oso.
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Then jus ignore him and carry on ur life as per normal... seriously i dun see what's the issue hereOriginally posted by rane:Thanks for your response. Bontakun, he's kind of unapproachable, so I don't feel comfortable to have any chat with him.
pardon me if i'm wrong, but i somehow feel that u seemed strangely attracted to him, as strange as the guy may be. His "unapproachable-ness" is only a concern cos, subconsciously, u've a desire to get close to him.
i beg to differ from the others' views that he's jus shy... a shy but nice guy wouldn't behave like that. Most probably he feels uncomfortable socially, but he could also be obnoxious and emotionally unstable.
For ur own safety & peace of mind, my advice is to keep clear of him. But then again, it always bug me how gals seem intrigued by guys who are obviously problematic... and then bring those problems to everyone around them (i'm not refering to u... jus thinking of some of my silly gal frens)
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being natural shy or being obnoxiously shy as a friend once said are twoOriginally posted by Prince Cumming:Then jus ignore him and carry on ur life as per normal... seriously i dun see what's the issue here
pardon me if i'm wrong, but i somehow feel that u seemed strangely attracted to him, as strange as the guy may be. His "unapproachable-ness" is only a concern cos, subconsciously, u've a desire to get close to him.
i beg to differ from the others' views that he's jus shy... a shy but nice guy wouldn't behave like that. Most probably he feels uncomfortable socially, but he could also be obnoxious and emotionally unstable.
For ur own safety & peace of mind, my advice is to keep clear of him. But then again, it always bug me how gals seem intrigued by guys who are obviously problematic... and then bring those problems to everyone around them (i'm not refering to u... jus thinking of some of my silly gal frens)
different matters >>> same goes for if u approach someone n seems like they
dun wan to even talk to u/ simply using their body language as a way of defense ,
will u fault the "shy"
persons that they r uncomfortably socially n emotionally unstable when
they can get along with another different set of ppl...huh>>>
so it the girls dun really have to bug much abt
these 'obviously problematic" guys with the surface,
they have to start thinking why or what their behaviours that distanced themselves from these guys...few cents worth